She tried to breathe, but her very breath had been stolen away. Rollin knew her secret.
She stood from her bench, and Rollin stood up on the other side, both of his hands on the table.
“Henry’s not your son, is he?”
Her back stiffened. “I didn’t birth him, Rollin, but he’s my son.”
“Is Liz the mother?”
Katie cringed. “She birthed him, but she never wanted to be his mother.”
Confusion washed through Rollin’s eyes. Questions. She didn’t want to answer any of them. All she’d wanted to do was leave the past alone.
“Liz birthed him…” His voice trailed off. “Who is Henry’s father?”
She didn’t reply.
“Katie?”
All she could do was shake her head.
Rollin collapsed back on the bench. “Dear God—”
Her fingers swiped across her skirt. Up and down like she was whitewashing a fence. She didn’t know what to say or do.
“Why didn’t she tell me?” he implored
“When I left Cleveland, I thought you knew.” She sat down across from him. “I thought you didn’t want the baby.”
“I wanted to marry her.” His gaze wandered over to the trees. “I would have taken care of her and Henry.”
“I know that now.”
“She should have told me.”
“Liz didn’t want a baby.”
“That’s no excuse.”
“And our father didn’t want anyone to know Henry existed. That’s why you didn’t see Liz for so long. He sequestered her for most of her pregnancy and then wouldn’t let her out of the house after Henry was born.”
“That night at Mangiamo’s,” Rollin said. “You never told me why you and Liz were there.”
“Liz wanted something from the locked room downstairs, and she asked me to play guard.”
“Was she looking for money?” he asked.
“Probably.”
“She was going to run away from home,” he said, his voice trailing off.
As Katie had replayed that night over and over again through the years, she remembered how focused her sister had been on retrieving that metal box. And elated. Looking back, she assumed Liz was preparing to break free of their father’s grip.
“Was she going to take Henry away with her?”
Katie wiped the sweat off her forehead. “I don’t know.”
“And yet you took him.” Rollin’s eyes were steady on her again. “You brought him to a safe place.”
“I was afraid my father would get rid of him.”
“Kill him?”
She paused. “I hope he would have given him to someone who couldn’t have a child.”
“And I would never have known I have a son,” Rollin whispered.
Tears sprang to her eyes. This was the moment she’d dreaded since she left Cleveland. The moment Rollin Wells would want Henry back. How could she keep the boy from his father?
She met Rollin’s gaze again and saw tears clouding the strength in his eyes. “You did all of this for Liz?”
She shook her head. “I did it for Henry.”
And she did it for the man standing in front of her.
*
Rollin paced down to the stream as memories accosted him, all of them battling for his attention in a confused jumble of pictures and words. For so long, he’d fought off the desire to have a family, but he had a son. A smart, passionate, funny boy.
He fell down on the bank, beside one of the willows, and stared at the water. He knew Henry was his. Almost ten years ago, he’d come back from the war, and Liz snuck in through the back door of his house while his parents were sleeping to welcome him home. At the time, it was exactly what he wanted.
As the weeks passed, Liz stopped coming to his home, and she sent him a letter asking that he stop visiting her as well. He went to the Cardanos, demanding to see her, but Salvatore refused to let him inside. He kept trying over the next few months, even sending her a letter asking her to marry him, but after his proposal, all his letters to her were returned.
His shoulders slumped as the memories became even clearer. For years, he’d thrown his fist in the air at God, angry at him for taking Liz away. He’d blamed God when he should have blamed the woman who planned to leave their son behind when she ran.
And, even more, he should have blamed himself.
He raked his hands through his hair. The reverend was right. He was just as much of a sinner as the Cardanos. He’d impregnated his girlfriend, but he hadn’t been there to take care of their child.
If only he hadn’t touched Liz. Or if he’d known about the child. Perhaps Liz would still be here.
Heyward Malloy hadn’t killed Liz. He had.
He buried his head in his hands, and with Katie’s hands on his shoulders, he begged God to forgive him of his terrible sins.
*
Rollin’s shoulders bobbed under his jacket, and Katie wasn’t quite sure what to do. She’d never seen a man cry before, and she wasn’t even certain Rollin was crying right now, but God had broken Rollin into tiny pieces today. As she waited, she prayed silently that God would now rebuild him into a mighty servant of His.
Minutes passed, and Rollin turned to her. His eyes were red, but his voice was clear. “I’m so sorry, Katie.”
She let go of his shoulder. “I forgave you a long time ago.”
“Does Henry know about Liz?”
She shook her head. “The truth is too dangerous.”
Taking her hand, he stood up beside her. “Thank you for what you’ve done with him.”
She released his hand. “I won’t let him go, Rollin.”
He eyed her for a moment, and she was prepared if he challenged her. There were a hundred reasons why she should keep Henry with her.
“You don’t have to.”
She released the air imprisoned in her lungs.
“I don’t want Henry to know about me,” he said. “Not yet.”
She rubbed her arms, watching his face to see if he was hiding something from her. “All right.”
“After what happened this morning…” Rollin hesitated. “Too much is happening right now.”
Even as she nodded her head, disappointment pricked her heart. Her sister had been planning to run away from her responsibilities, and now… She didn’t want Rollin to take Henry away from her, but was he going to run away from his son too?
“Malloy is in jail,” he continued, “but they didn’t catch all of his men. If they found out about you—”
“I’m ready to leave.” She stepped back and then hesitated. She couldn’t take Henry to the coast yet. “You need me to testify at the trial.”
He shook his head. “You won’t be safe in Cleveland either.”
“But I’m the only one who can talk about what happened at Mangiamo’s.”
“You and your uncle Ray.”
“He won’t say anything.”
“We’ll give him an offer he can’t refuse.”
She stood up a little straighter. “Where is my father?”
“Your father.” He hesitated. “A lot of people got hurt last night.”
“Is he dead?”
When he nodded, she wished she felt sadness, but all she could feel was relief.
“And my brother?”
“Antonio was shot, but the police chief wasn’t certain of his condition.”
There was no relief with those words. “Who shot him?”
He shook his head, his gaze wandering back to the creek.
“Rollin?”
“She didn’t mean to shoot him.”
Her knees wobbled under her skirt. “She?”
“Your mother,” he finally said. “She was drunk, and she had a gun.”
Her father was dead. Her brother injured by their mother’s gun.
Her entire body felt like the Jell-O Erma liked to make. Those who were supposed to love her failed her a long time ago, and they continu
ed to fail her.
She was glad she had taken the Lehman name for her and Henry. Never again would she consider herself part of the Cardano family.
She reached for Rollin’s arm and turned him toward her.
“What—?” She swallowed hard. “What happened to my mother?”
“Malloy…” he started. “He killed her.”
“Did she suffer?”
He met her gaze and held it. “I think she was relieved.”
Katie fell into Rollin’s arms, and he kissed the top of her head as he cradled her. He murmured apologies into her ear, like somehow he could have stopped the Cardano massacre, but she hushed him. The demise of her family wasn’t his fault.
Gently he held her away from him, looking back into her eyes. “You are Henry’s mother, and you always will be.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“And if you’ll have me, I want to be part of your and Henry’s life.”
She started to talk, but he put his fingers on her lips.
“But before we talk about the future, I have to get Malloy and the others behind bars.”
She moved back from his touch. “And you have to stop the Cardano rackets.”
“There won’t be much left to stop,” he said. “Last night they crushed their own organization without help from anyone.”
“Pride goes before destruction…” she quoted from Proverbs.
“Katie.” He nudged her chin up to meet his eyes again. “Where do you want to go from here?”
“As far away from Cleveland as possible.”
“Like California?”
Her mind wandered to the pictures she’d seen of the Pacific Coast. The ocean lapping up against the rocks. The miles of sandy beach. The small towns where no one would know who she was or where she came from.
“California sounds really nice.”
A smile came slowly to his lips. “And what do you think about airplanes?”
She groaned.
“Henry will want to take an airplane.”
She leaned down and tossed a rock into the creek. “Can you fly an airplane all the way to California?”
He nodded. “You’ll have to make a few stops along the way.”
She picked up a second rock and threw it into the water before she turned to him. “Then I suppose Henry should ride in one.”
He took her hand and escorted her back to the car.
EPILOGUE
Six months later
Salt water sprayed Katie’s skirt, and Rollin heard her squeal as she raced back toward Henry on the beach. The cold air didn’t seem to bother Henry. His long pants were soaked from the wet sand, but his focus was on the cupful of sand he was adding to one of his castle towers.
The breeze rattled the palm trees along the coastline, and a rich purple colored the horizon. From the edge of the cliff, he watched Katie wrap her arms over her sweater. She’d cut her hair since he’d said good-bye to her, and it twirled around her shoulders. She was full of life, like she’d been when she was a girl.
He’d meant to surprise her and Henry at their cottage in Morro Bay, but as he watched them leave the house, his resolve withered. So much could have happened in six months. Now that Katie had found a new life, perhaps she had found a new love as well. Or maybe he reminded her too much of the old life she was trying to leave behind.
What if she changed her mind like Liz had done and turned him away?
He patted the ring in his coat pocket. He no longer wanted to pursue the entire Cardano family. He only wanted to pursue Katie.
As the tide edged closer to the castle, Katie lifted her skirt above her knees and knelt down. She took one of the cups and helped Henry finish the turrets before the water washed them away.
His heart warmed as he watched them.
In the past six months, he’d worked with the district attorney to put Heyward Malloy behind bars along with Raymond Cardano and a number of other men in their organization. He’d discovered that Raymond had been working with the Puglisi family for a long time, and in his supposed leadership of the Cardanos, he was planning to bring them under the umbrella of the Puglisis.
Because of Raymond’s testimony, he received a shorter sentence than the rest of them, but he would still be behind bars for at least a year. Antonio probably wouldn’t end up in the slammer, but the doctors said he would never be able to walk again. His body would serve as his own personal prison for his remaining years.
He and Katie had been writing letters, two or three every week, and he’d told her about the sentence for Malloy. He also told her that the police found the body of Lance Dawson buried near the barn, and Lance’s family gave him a proper burial in Cleveland.
In her letters, Katie told him how much Henry enjoyed the long journey west by airplane. So much so that he continued to talk about their flight almost every day. She told him Isaac and Erma moved to Pennsylvania to be closer to Isaac’s family, and while she didn’t say it, he assumed they wanted to get lost in the sea of other Amish couples living in Lancaster County in case one of Malloy’s friends came looking for them.
Rollin sent her money each month for Henry, but she still found work in Morro Bay, helping care for twin girls while Henry was in school.
On the beach below him, he watched the waves swoop through Henry’s castle, collapsing the towers. And then Katie picked up their towel.
Rollin scooted back from the edge of the cliff and waited in the tall grass for Katie and Henry to climb the rocks. Either Katie didn’t see him at first or she didn’t recognize him. Her hair blowing in the wind, she mounted her bicycle. Henry got on his bicycle behind her, and they began riding toward him.
And then Katie saw him.
“Rollin?” she gasped.
Leaving her bike on the grass, she took Henry’s hand and they ran to him. He pulled both of them close. Katie’s soft hair against his cheek and Henry hanging on to his waist.
She stepped away. “You’re supposed to be at the trial.”
“It finished over a week ago,” he said. “Malloy will spend the rest of his days in the pen.”
Relief washed through her eyes as quickly as the tide had washed through their sand castle.
“We’ve missed you, Rollin.” Her voice softened. “I’ve missed you.”
He smiled. It was exactly what he needed to hear.
“How is your arm?” she asked.
He held it out. “All better.”
“I’m so glad.”
An awkward pause followed her words. It was his turn to talk, but the words seemed to catch in his throat.
Finally, he put his hand on Henry’s shoulder. “I was hoping to talk to Henry alone for a moment.”
Fear crept back into her eyes. “Why?”
“I wanted to share a small bit of my story with him.”
Henry stepped toward Katie. “Please, Mamm.”
She hesitated at first, and then she nudged him forward.
He and Henry walked through the grass until they found two black rocks overlooking the sea and sat down. Waves crashed into the rocks below, shooting water into the air.
“You are one lucky fellow, Henry, to have a mother who loves you so much.”
“I know, but don’t tell her. I hate it when she cries.”
“Women,” Rollin said with a roll of his eyes.
The boy sighed, shaking his head. “Women.”
“Did you know I was friends with your mother’s sister and her brother a long time ago?”
The boy’s eyes grew wide. “I didn’t know she had a brother…or a sister.”
“I’ll have to tell you about them sometime.”
Henry wiped his hands over his gray pants coated in sand, and Rollin looked out at the purple haze rolling toward them. One day Rollin would tell him the entire story.
“I’ve never been married before,” Rollin said.
“Ya, Mamm told me.”
“But I’ve always wanted to have a wife and children, especi
ally a son.”
Henry smiled at him. “You’d make a good daed.”
“The thing is, I’d really like it if I could be a daed. If I could be a father to you.”
“To me?” Henry asked, excitement building in his voice. Then he paused. “But I can’t leave Mamm.”
“Of course not,” Rollin said, drumming his hands on the rock. He was terrible at this. “I was sort of hoping your mother would become my wife.”
“Really?”
“But I’m afraid she might say no.”
Henry hopped up from the rock. “I’ll help you ask her.”
“You will?”
Henry tugged on Rollin’s jacket until he stood. “She can’t say no to both of us.”
Together they walked toward Katie, Rollin’s hand on his son’s back. He prayed Henry was right.
There were questions in Katie’s eyes as they stood in front of her, both for him and for Henry, but instead of answering them, he pulled a small velvet box from his pocket. And he kneeled on one knee in the sandy grass.
Henry kneeled beside him.
Katie’s lips trembled as she watched him. He cleared his throat.
“I’d like to ask you a question.”
Henry elbowed him, and Rollin smiled.
“We would like to ask you a question.”
Katie glanced back and forth between the two of them kneeling before her. Rollin popped open the lid on the velvet box, and the sun’s reflection made the diamond sparkle with color.
Her hands rushed to her throat.
“We’ve spent so much time talking about the past, Katie, but I don’t want to talk about our past any longer. I want to talk about our future.”
“Our future?”
Henry sighed. “He wants to marry us, Mamm.”
“Technically, I want to marry you,” he told her with a quiet laugh. “But I would be honored if you would allow Henry to be my son.”
Henry stood up. “I already said ‘yes.’ ”
Katie clapped her hands together and held them tight. “It looks like you two gentleman already have it figured out.”
Rollin rose to his feet and stepped closer to her. And he whispered, “I love you with all my heart, Katie Lehman.”
There were tears in her eyes when she looked up at him. “And I love you.”
The Silent Order Page 26