Tears fall down my face, smearing against Marduke’s chest, before I push away from him. I can’t even summon any anger. I am already stretched and know this isn’t Marduke’s fault. His family might be the reason that Earth was invaded, his actions the reason I made it to Roth, yet I know Marduke cares for me. I love him and can’t be angry at his wish to protect me. I can’t stand the thought of him being hurt by this, either.
“What are we going to do now? Your spaceship is destroyed.” I wipe away my tears and glance around us. Marduke might want to get me off this planet as quickly as he can; however there isn’t an easy way for him to do that. We’re in the middle of the forest in a clearing made by the crash. Most everything appears scattered and destroyed.
“We’ll go to the camp, and I’ll find us a new one. We can still escape here.” He lets me move away, but his hand quickly reaches out and takes mine, almost like he refuses to let me go completely.
“Escape to where? You said before you haven’t even thought that far ahead!”
“I will figure it out. It will need to be a place out of my father’s reach, though.”
“Is there even a place like that? Once Earth is under his control, which I assume is right now, won’t he be looking for his next planet?”
“There were several surrounding you and your sun along with how large and vast Earth is, that should keep him busy.”
“Okay, but with you disappearing, he’ll have no choice except to let Ival lead, right? He won’t give up trying to hurt you.” My heart squeezes and an unwelcome memory from my nightmares resurfaces to taunt me—Marduke, beaten and bleeding. All at the hands of his brother.
“I was never even being considered to lead. It was a test, one for Ival to see if he could kill me, his brother, to become leader. One he failed. But fortunately for him, he isn’t exactly in too much trouble over it. I fell in love with a human, and while my father might not exactly know the extent of my feelings for you, he is still disappointed.”
“Your father wanted your brother to kill you?” I gape at him, pulling on his hand that is holding my own so he stops moving and faces me.
“Yes.”
“That’s so sick and awful. How could a father do that to his sons? What type of leader would even do that?” I am angry on behalf of Marduke. I would be devastated if my father, someone I trusted and who is supposed to love me unconditionally, wanted me dead.
“It was just a test.” He shrugs, his movement shocking me.
“You’re not even upset with him because he did that?” I feel a distance growing between us, a wall of confusion and differences. Does he consider this normal? Would he do this to his own child? Would he one day consider sacrificing me or giving me a similar test? What if he one day expects me to harm Hannah?
He hesitates, his eyes searching mine before he answers me. Does he sense the distance between us, too? “I understand that he wanted to be sure of Ival’s dedication to our family and our legacy.”
“So, if you were in his shoes, you’d have done the same?” I take a step back, knocking into a piece of twisted metal from the wreckage.
“No!” He steps with me, his arms wrapping around me and bringing me closer to him again. “Our child will never have to face something like that. I understand my father because he is the way he’s been taught to be. He’s never had to change his way of thinking. He’s never wanted to. I’m not like that.”
“Our child?” I suddenly feel sick. Marduke is moving way too quickly for me. Moving to other planets, leaving everyone behind, and now kids? “Marduke, I can’t have kids.”
“Why not? Is there a medical problem?” He gazes at me in confusion and his eyes drift down to my stomach, giving me shivers. Not good ones, either.
“No, I don’t know. I’m too young for that, and if you hadn’t noticed, we’re not the same. You’re an alien and I’m human. Things don’t work like that for us. Besides, we’re in the middle of a shit situation. There is no way… I mean, it’s not going… No.” I feel panic building inside me. Why is he bringing this up now? Why does he not seem as panicked as I feel?
“I don’t believe we’re as different as you think. Does the thought of having a child with me scare you? Repulse you?” I watch him wince and see the fear that takes over him while he holds his breath and waits for my answer.
I don’t know why this is such a big deal to him, especially not now, however I know my answer is important. So I think about his words, even if they cause me to shake in my own fear.
“I would never hate a child that was part of you, part of me. But it would scare me worse than this invasion. I’m not ready to be a mother, and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. It’s not in me, not now, not after what we’ve been through. We’ll never be safe, so neither will a child. We’d not only have to worry about where we would live, but who would help deliver such a child? We’d have two species hunting us. Your family and people would never accept our love or any possible child. Humans would be the same. No child should have to be brought into such hostility.”
“But what if we could be safe? What if we could get away and have a family, one that only encourages love and acceptance?”
I shake my head. “I’m tired, Marduke, and this isn’t even an issue. Please, can we drop it and focus on a problem we’re actually facing. Like where are we?”
He stares at me, his eyes not moving even a fraction away from me, and my panic doesn’t recede.
“Marduke, please let this go. Where are we? You said we needed to get back to the camps; well, the second sun is going to set soon, and we’ll be covered in darkness. Should we wait until tomorrow to get back? Or start our hike now? How far is it until we reach the camps?” I attempt to distract him, hoping my questions will force him to focus on something else, something more important.
He finally breaks eye contact, taking in our surroundings. “I think we’re too far away from the camp to make it within a day; it could likely take a lot longer than that. We should rest up here for now and begin our travels tomorrow. We’ll need to find food and water.”
I nod, not loving the fact there is going to be a long walk ahead of us. With my lack of a decent diet and little to no exercise lately, I’m not looking forward to this challenge. I will meet it, though, because I refuse to give up.
“It’s cold; we should get you a shirt.” My eyes again find the claw tattooed over his chest and the fear grips hold of my heart.
Why did I see those creatures? What were they? Why were they on a spaceship?
No sooner have those thoughts crossed my mind than a strong wind assaults us unnaturally, and it chills me in my damp clothes. As a loud engine roars overhead, I look up at the darkening sky to see a large spaceship moving above us. It’s low in the sky and terrifying.
“Is that one of yours?” I yell out to Marduke, my voice disappearing as soon as the words are out of my mouth.
The spaceship keeps moving, and in only seconds, it disappears from our sight.
“It… I don’t know. I think so.” Marduke frowns, his eyes still on the sky even though the spaceship has moved on.
“Who would be coming here? Is it someone coming to get you? Your dad or Ival?” I ask as my eyes move back to the wreckage scattered around us.
“It might be someone coming for me, but I doubt my father or Ival would waste their time on this. I’ve barely been gone a week. It’s just that…” he trails off, his eyes finally leaving the sky, yet I know his mind is elsewhere. “The bottom looked different. I haven’t seen spaceships like that for a long time.”
“What if the spaceship belongs to those creatures? The ones with the claws?” I shiver.
“They wouldn’t be capable of flying a spaceship. Imagine any of your animals back on Earth. None would be capable of flying such a craft. Besides, it was one of ours. It just looked a bit different. I haven’t been on Oden for a while; they might be forced into using our older crafts to help with the larger than usual burden we’r
e dealing with.”
“Why did I see those creatures then, Marduke? What did this to me?” When I hold out the tattered sides of my sweater, he takes the material out of my hands and examines it. “John was cut in half, Rob lost his legs. What else could do that?”
“I don’t know. We need to get to the camps, and I need to contact my mother. Something is wrong and she might be able to tell me what it going on.”
“Does your father know you’re here?”
“No, or at least, not that I know of. He was busy when I left; they were having problems with some of the security guarding Oden checking in. They were having trouble communicating with some of the planets under our control, too.”
“Really? Do you think we’re fighting back and winning?” My heart begins to race from the possibility. I’ve never considered that others would be taking up the fight. I have just assumed the five of us getting onto that spaceship would be it, that it was up to us to take on everyone on our own. What if there is a rebellion happening, though?
“One of the planets that went dark only had animals on it. I think our communications are just acting up.”
“But what if it’s not? What if we’re fighting back and winning?” Excitement tinges my voice.
He eyes me warily. “It could be, but that won’t help us here.”
“It’ll give people hope. It’s huge, Marduke.” I grip his arms, which are still wrapped loosely around me, and squeeze him tightly.
He doesn’t appear to share my excitement so I step away from him, feeling renewed energy. Maybe this is possible. Maybe we can actually win this!
“I don’t want you getting involved in this, Mattie; it’s too dangerous.”
“This is my fight. This isn’t something I’ll ever be able to back away from. Not after everything I’ve been through.”
“But what about your sister and Logan? What about me? We all need you.” He sounds panicked.
“But don’t you see? I was always going to fight this, but you’ve just given me more reason to do the right thing, and reasons that I need to give everything to make it back out alive.”
As the second sun begins its quick descent, shadows grow larger, covering the clearing in darkness.
“We should make a small camp, and in the morning, we’ll begin the trek into the campgrounds,” Marduke says wearily. I think he realises fighting me on this will get him nowhere, and maybe, like me, he doesn’t want to fight.
I nod that I agree, however I feel distracted. There is a lot for me to think about and most are things I need to steer clear of. I’m not ready to think about my parents or the fact I have definitely just lost Hank.
I instead focus on the good news I have just received. Hannah and Logan are alive. Lisa is also alive and she’s taking care of them for me. Then there is Marduke. Not only is he alive, but he’s with me right now.
We search the clearing to see if we can find any blankets or clothes for Marduke, although if we were in the summer days, we’d probably be too hot right now to worry about it. We definitely wouldn’t need to bother with clothing. Nonetheless, we’re somewhere stuck in the cooler days.
I find a torn sheet of what feels like plastic but thicker. It’s not comforting at all, but when darkness covers us and no moon or stars in the sky to guide us, we know we don’t have any other choice until the first sun rises.
So, in the middle of the field, I strip off my clothes to try and in an attempt to dry them since they’re still damp from the shower. Marduke does the same to his pants and then holds me close to him once we are under the tarp.
“I’ve been dreaming of holding you since I lost you,” he whispers in my ear. My head is resting on top of his chest, the tip of my head just under his chin. My arm is draped over him and our legs are intertwined. When we first settled down, my leg brushed against his erection, but he hasn’t made a move to do anything about it.
I am still in the vest, which he refuses to take off me. If it hadn’t been so dark, I would have argued about it further because I am beyond sick of wearing it. However, I find it harder to argue with someone when you can’t see them.
Conflicting desires fight within me. Part of me wants to fall apart in his arms and another wants to kiss him and make love to him. I feel like I should be angry he didn’t listen to me when he turned that control on me and sent me here to Roth. He knew I didn’t want to ever leave Earth, yet he was the one who transported me onto that spaceship. I also want to thank him for not listening to me. I have a chance to see Hannah and Logan again. If we’re really rebelling on those other planets, then we can fight here, too. We have a chance to get Earth back, even if it is a small one.
“You feel tense; what’s wrong?” Marduke trails his hand down my arm, leaving me shivering from his touch.
Mentioning to him that I want to fight for Earth, fight against his people, is not what I want to say right now. It won’t go the way I want, and right now, I want Marduke’s lips on my body. I want to feel him under me, over me and in me. I just want him.
“Just thinking about what I should do with this…” I trail off, hoping I sound seductive and husky. I think I might come off as seeming nervous, though.
“Do with what?” Marduke asks me. Then I listen to him gasp as I grip his cock in my hand, stroking him and feeling more heat radiating within me. Already I feel the signs of my own excitement, my own fires burning for the man next to me.
“Mattie…” His voice shakes and he shifts his body, moving over me. I never lose grip of him; he’s careful to make sure I don’t. “I’ve missed you, missed your smart mouth and your beautiful smile. I’ve missed hearing you laugh and how out of control you make me feel,” he whispers, his lips moving down my neck where he tongues a sensitive area under my ear. It causes shivers to run over my body and a shock to zap me, making me more turned on.
“I’ve missed you, too, Marduke. Every day, I missed you. When I thought you… When I feared you were…” I can’t say the words. My throat closes up and tears spring to my eyes.
His lips leave my throat and he kisses my mouth gently, his lips moving over my cheeks where he kisses away my tears. “It’s okay. I’m here.” His hands move over mine, which are still on him, and he positions himself at my entrance before slowly gliding into me.
I’m not sure how many times I have done this with Marduke, but I know it’s not enough and never will be. So far, I still haven’t gotten used to him entering me; I’m still not used to the fullness I feel and the intimacy of our act. The feelings he evokes inside me are both overwhelming and crushing. He owns me completely as he moves in and out, taking my heart and my love with him.
“I love you, Marduke. I love you so much,” I gasp as my body lights up hotter, everything tightening and twitching as I know a powerful climax is ready to overtake me.
“I didn’t think you could be in love with someone so quickly? I thought you—”
I shut him up by squeezing my inner walls over him, and as his words leave him, a groan is all he can manage.
I know what I said to Marduke back on Earth, and while I believed every word I spoke, I am pretty positive I was deluding myself if I thought I didn’t love Marduke then. I possibly fell in love with him the moment I saw him saving that girl in Vancouver.
When he switches our position, flipping us over so I’m on top of him, I find a rhythm that pulls me closer to the edge, an angle that tortures us both. Only moments later, I lose it completely. I call out his name, hearing my own echoed from him, before I collapse over him, our bodies sweaty as we try to catch our breath.
“I love you, too, Mattie. I am in love with you, and that won’t ever change. I will protect you until my dying day.”
I’m crying again, completely exhausted and spent from everything I have been through. My entire day crashes down over me as I sob into Marduke’s shoulder, grateful to have him with me as he comforts me, whispering that he will never leave my side.
I don’t know how long I cry
for. I should probably feel embarrassed to lose it in such a way, or disappointed at how weak I feel by letting my tears go, yet I don’t.
As I grieve in Marduke’s arms, I let his warmth and comfort soak into me. I feel his strength encompass me and something inside me let’s go. Some of my anger dissipates. That darkness I felt growing inside me lightens. A weight moves off my shoulders, and as my tears begin to dry, I feel better than I have felt since I was dropped on Roth. I feel loved, safe, and like maybe things will be okay now. Maybe we can make this work. The fight hasn’t left me, however my loneliness has.
I have Marduke, and I always will.
I know it’s naïve to believe this. Love doesn’t conquer all, and sometimes it isn’t enough.
Besides, a war is coming, one that no one expects. This safe bubble I am in with Marduke was always destined to burst.
Chapter 6
Mattie
I wake still in Marduke’s arms to the sound of muffled noises.
I sit up, my hip sore from sleeping on my side and resting on the hard ground. Marduke is still sleeping, and I take a moment to gaze over him.
Both suns are up in the sky now, and I have a full view of him. His forehead is smeared with blood. From the look of his drying pants, he must have wiped his forehead with them to get rid of the blood over his eye. The strange tarp covers most of him, but as I pull myself away, I notice his heavily bruised shoulder as well as even more bruises along his arms and chest. They look new, and I assume he got them from being tossed around the spaceship.
I crawl away from him, moving to my clothes, which are now dry. After redressing, I take another look at what is around us.
Again, I hear something muffled, so I head in the direction of the noise. I can’t see anything in the forest moving. There aren’t any animals or insects in here, or at least, never any that I’ve seen in the brief time spent in the forest. It’s just full of trees, plants and weeds. In the light, it looks unnaturally green, as though it’s glowing. It gives me the creeps. Everywhere I look is a stark reminder I’m not home on Earth.
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