“Well, you know he helped her escape from Paris after France fell. I imagine it was written during that time,” I stammered.
Mummy ripped the seal and I stood by utterly helpless, continuing to look over Mummy’s shoulder. She unfolded it:
‘My Dearest,
As I write this, I know that you are en route from Barcelona to Madrid, and needless to say I am worried horribly about your welfare, and of course Kippy’s. I know everything that can be done to ensure your safety has been done. You are in good hands, and I am certain that you will come through this well.
I so look forward to seeing your lovely face, and holding you in my arms. If I knew precisely when you would be arriving, I would meet you. Once here, we have so much to discuss. The first order of business will be to find you a suitable address. The important thing is that you will be back on English soil. I know that your finances have to be depleted, which must be causing you consternation. Put your mind at rest on that score, for I shall transfer some of my assets to you as soon as you return. I am trying to curb my anxiousness to hold you in my arms, and to hug precious, little Kippy.
Be safe, darling.
Yours always,
Nigel
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
February, 1941
A Tragedy
If I had been through rages with Mummy before, absolutely nothing compared to that one. While it may seem odd, my first fleeting thought was one of relief. Relief that my father had not referenced me or the part I had played in his affair, no matter how limited my participation, nor how horrifically distasteful it had been. After a minuscule pause to think of myself, I turned attention with full force to my mother’s shock. Perhaps for the first time in my life, I didn’t find blame with Mummy’s reaction. She was experiencing unbearable pain. At first, her reaction was shock. Her face literally drained of all color, and I was concerned that she too might end up in hospital. I watched as the emotions worked their way across her features... shock... grief... pain... finally, anger. Heaps and heaps of anger.
“That horse’s arse. That bastard. I should have let his heart stop beating. I should not have called for help. I wish I’d let him die. After all, I have done for him… All we have shared…That he would do this. Moreover, with Edwina! My God! What sort of a slut is she? She has been the recipient of my largesse. I brought her into this home as a guest. I treated her as a daughter. She is a slut. A whore. I will slap her until she is black and blue. I’ll slap the both of them.”
I did not even try to interrupt. There would certainly have been no point. I simply stood immobile, looking at the ghastly letter, which I now held in my own hand. Mummy’s tirade continued.
“I would never have known. Never! How long has this been going on? When did it start? That damned, scoundrel. Almighty God saw to it that this letter came to me at a time when Nigel could not prevent my seeing it. God wanted this filthy, abominable relationship to stop. This is divine intervention. Do you understand that, Sophia?”
“Yes, yes, Mummy, I understand that,” I murmured. I had to admit to myself how ironical it was that the revolting letter had arrived when it did, and in such a strange manner. The chances of such a thing occurring had to be extremely small. I thought of the word ‘serendipity’, which had so permeated important events in my past.
“So many things make sense now. All of that travel he was doing,” Mummy continued shrieking. “So much time spent in London. So many trips to Paris. My God! My God! What has she done to him that has caused him to forsake all of his Christian principals? Is that baby of hers your father’s son? Sophia, could that be true?”
“Oh, I don’t think so, Mummy. He looks an awfully lot like Dieter.”
“That may be, but he also looks identical to Edwina, too. So who knows? Your father has not slept with me in eons. He told me he wasn’t capable anymore!” she screamed. Then, she began to throw things. She ran around the hallway, and into the drawing room, picking up framed photos of Papa and throwing them. Next came gifts he had presented to her through the years. Art…Collectibles…Figurines…Silver. Nothing was too precious to escape her wrath. She had a collection of cobalt blue, Royal Copenhagen plates, sitting on a low plate rail encircling one wall of the morning room. She raced in there and began to systematically throw and smash each one. There were twenty-one in all, and each was in shattered slivers when she was through. Then, she ran back to the hallway, grabbed the letter opener, and began to gouge the furniture with it. “And what is this drivel about transferring assets to her? Has he been supporting her? Of course, he has. That damned little whore.” Her eyes were wild. A small, inlaid table flew across the room. Finally, the inevitable happened, and Edwina appeared on the stairway. She was dressed in a lovely ensemble, and was obviously on her way to hospital. When she heard the commotion, and saw the wreckage, she stopped, looking shocked and horrified. Before she had a chance to utter a sound, Mummy lunged toward her with the letter opener still in hand. It is truly astonishing that Edwina escaped unharmed, for she dodged Mummy, and flattened herself against the curve of the stair wall.
I screamed, “Mummy, stop. You will kill her. Do you want to go to prison? For God’s sake, think!” Mummy threw the letter opener aside, and began to pummel Edwina with her fists. “God Damn you! God Damn you! You will be fortunate if I do not kill you, you little whore. You slut... you... you trollop.” I knew Mummy was well versed in curse words, and I wondered what new surprises she had in store. I did not have to wait long.
“What have you been doing Edwina? Blowing him off? I was completely aghast, but Edwina only looked angry, not even frightened. In fact, she looked arrogant.
“It’s none of your business what Nigel and I do,” she said, as coolly and calmly as I could ever have imagined anyone reacting in such a situation. “I am sure you would be aghast at our methods of making love. Nigel has told me that you are an amazingly frigid woman.”
Mummy slapped Edwina across the face. “I’m not a whore, if that’s what he prefers”, she shrieked. “Moreover, what do you mean it is none of my business? He is my husband, you idiotic piece of filth. If it isn’t my business, whose is it?”
“He doesn’t love you, Pamela. He loves me. I’m sorry you’ve learned the truth this way, but I really do think it’s time you faced reality.”
How could this be happening?
“Reality!” Mummy shrieked. “Reality!” I will tell you about reality. Reality is that you are about to take that brat of yours and get the Hell out of my home. Reality is that you will never see my husband again. Never! If I ever find that you have so much as spoken to him, I shall file an ‘Alienation of Affection’ lawsuit against you. I shall smear your name from here to Kingdom come. You will never be welcomed into any decent home again. In addition, you will never work again. Your child will be labelled a bastard. I will ruin you, Edwina. I will make it my life’s mission to destroy you. There won’t be a soul in Bury St. Edmunds who doesn’t know what you are.” Mummy was panting, and holding her hand to her chest.
Edwina actually smiled! “Pamela, you’d better calm down, or you’re going to have a heart seizure yourself,” she sneered. “I’m not at all certain that I’m ready to give up my friendship with Nigel. He’ll have to be the one to make any decision of that sort.”
“He’ll not be making this decision, Edwina. Apparently, his decision-making capabilities are quite flawed. Now, you heard what I said. If I must, I shall call the local authorities, and have them remove you from these premises. Get out of my home, you God awful, disgusting tramp”. Mummy moved again to attack Edwina physically, but I restrained her.
“Edwina, please... please just leave,” I pleaded. “Surely you understand that you cannot stay here. Please. This is a nightmare. Don’t make it any worse”.
“All right. I shall go. However, do not count on Nigel backing you up, Pamela. As I said before, he loves me. He will choose me in the end. Just you wait.” She turned on her heel and headed up the s
tairway, presumably to pack her bags and ready Kippy for a journey. Mummy and I stood at the bottom of the stairway. Mummy’s immediate rage seemed spent, but I knew it was only a temporary lull.
“Mummy, you must have a lie down. You must. I am going back to hospital to see Papa. I shall make certain that he is in a physical condition to absorb this news. I must talk with him. I also need to give orders to the nurses that they should not allow Edwina to see him. I suspect that’s the first place she’ll go.”
“If she shows up at that hospital, I’ll see that she is arrested,” Mummy threatened.
I was not certain that such a thing was feasible, but did not say so.
“Will you let me take you to your room, give you a sedative, and then let me try to handle this by seeing and talking to Papa?” I begged.
“Yes. All right. However, I do not want you gone long. Moreover, I want Edwina away from here, before you leave. I’m not staying in this house with that slut.”
“Yes, Mummy. I’ll make certain that Edwina is gone, and when she leaves I’ll come and tell you,” I promised, as I gently guided my mother up the staircase and down the hallway to her rooms. She was sobbing by then, and was unsteady on her feet. No matter what heartache she had caused others in her life, there was no way I would have wished such pain upon her. I settled her in bed, and rang for Nan to bring some tea. When Nan arrived, I received yet another shock. Mummy was lying on the bed, and I intercepted our housekeeper in the doorway.
“Nan, we’ve had a beastly shock. It is bad enough that Papa is in hospital, but now Mummy has just learned that he has been carrying on some sort of secret romance with Edwina. Mummy is prostrate with shock and grief, as you can see. I must see to Edwina’s immediate departure, and then go to hospital to see and speak with Papa. I do not want to leave Mummy unattended. Please watch over her until I can get these other things taken care of,” I instructed.
Nan’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, Miss Sophia, I knew she would find out. The Countess is no fool, Miss Sophia, no fool at all.”
“What are you talking about, Nan? How did you know she would find out? What do you know?” I asked.
“Oh, Miss Sophia, I shouldn’t say. It’s not my place,” she replied, looking at the floor, and twisting the top button on her uniform.
“It most certainly is your place, Nan. You have been a member of this family since I was born. If you know something about this, I need to know. Now please, tell me what you’re referring to.”
“Well, way back . . . Clear to Miss Isabella’s first birthday, when Miss Edwina were ‘ere with that German, I saw something”
“You saw something? What did you see?”
“It was after the German left, and Miss Edwina was our guest. I was up at me usual ‘our. Very early, Miss Sophia. The sun was just but up. I went to the rose garden, to gather me blooms, for yer table, like always. It was a fine day. I stayed a tad, enjoying the sunshine, yer understand?”
“Yes, of course, Nan. So what happened?”
Well, I heard a noise . . . Voices coming from the summer’ouse. Couldn’t think who’d be in the summer’ouse at that ‘our. I walked a bit closer, and saw ‘is Grace and Miss Edwina. They was in… well…In a man-woman way.”
“What do you mean, Nan? Were they kissing? Having sex? Just say it, Nan.”
“Yes, Mum. They was ‘umpin.”
“Oh, Nan, what a dreadful thing for you to have seen. Did they see you?”
“Oh no, Mum. They was much occupied with their business. I just turned, and run fast as these old legs could carry me, back to the ‘ouse. Never said a word to no one. Lord Somerville been mighty good to me o’er the years.” Nan had tears in her eyes, and it was clear that she had conflicting feelings about the whole matter. Of course, I understood completely why she had kept silent. I was not in the least angry with Nan, but my level of ire toward Edwina and Papa rose substantially. To think that they would engage in sexual relations in the summerhouse at Willow Grove Abbey, while my mother slept on the premises, and when anyone might have come upon them! It was utter and complete folly, and I was ashamed of my father, who had reduced himself to the actions of a total fool, not to mention Edwina, whose behavior was truly deplorable. I patted Nan on the arm, and told her that I was sorry she had witnessed such a scene. I also assured her that I would not tell Mummy, as I knew that Nan feared reprisals, because she had not told anyone. Nan promised she would see to Mummy. I left the bedchamber, and literally stormed down the hallway to the wing where Edwina’s rooms were located. I did not knock when I came to her door, and instead threw it open with force. Edwina was packing a trunk, carefully folding each item, as if in no great rush. She turned when the door opened wide.
“Oh, Sophia. I am glad you have come. We do need to have a chat before I depart.”
“A chat, Edwina? I responded, astounded at her poise.”
“Yes, dear heart, a chat. I am truly sorry that you became a part of this. However, I shall never regret having fallen in love with Nigel. I have told you that before. The saddest part of this is that if the man involved in this were anyone but your father, you’d be happy that I’d found someone so wonderful to love.”
“You’re completely daft, Edwina. Why would I be happy? Even if he weren’t my father, why should I want you to be involved with any married man? How could you possibly believe that?”
“Oh, Sophia. Do not become righteous and moral. It is so tedious, and not the least becoming, you know. This is 1941. These things happen. You’re sophisticated enough to know that.”
“My God, Edwina, have you no conscious? We lived together for four years. We literally grew up together. I thought we believed the same things. Had the same values. What’s happened to you?”
“I might ask you the same question, you know. What’s become of you? Has this newly adopted Catholic religion of yours made you into a Saint?”
“Don’t be absurd. I am flawed, just like every other human. Nevertheless, your reasoning is beyond the pale. Yes, I do believe in the Ten Commandments. You do not need to be a religious fanatic to believe in a simple blueprint for living. Do you believe in nothing?”
“I believe in love. I believe in being positive and thinking positively. I do not allow negative thoughts to enter into my life. Negativity causes sadness and illness. I keep my body in harmony. I concentrate upon what is good in my life…and my relationship with your father is good.”
“Love isn’t destructive, Edwina. Love is kind. There is nothing kind about what you and Papa are doing and have done. You are hurting people. You may not believe in negativity, but you’re causing other people to feel terrible pain and that is negative.”
“What about your anger? Is that kind and loving,” she shot back.
“Edwina, there is such a thing as ‘righteous anger.’ If there has ever been a time for righteous anger it is here and now.”
“Who are Nigel and I hurting? Your mother? She deserves to be hurt. She’s an evil person.”
“I know you believe that, and I know better than anyone that Mummy can and has caused a lot of pain. Nevertheless, that does not mean that she is evil. I used to think as you do, but I do not any longer, because I have grown up, and apparently, you have not. I understand her immensely better, and know with certainty that she suffers from a personality disorder. And, even if it were true that she really is evil, that doesn’t give you license to pass judgment upon her, nor to impose your own sentence upon her.”
“You’re speaking drivel, Sophia. I’m afraid our points of view differ greatly, and I really don’t want to continue discussing this.” She turned and resumed her packing, shaking her head, as though she could not fathom that a fool like me was trying to convince her of anything. I wanted to slap her silly.
“Edwina, I want the answer to one, final question,” I continued.
Edwina gave an exasperated sigh. “What question?” she asked
“I want the truth about Kippy. Is he Papa’s son?”
“Do you honestly think I’d tell you if he were?” she replied, with a catlike smile.
“I’d hope you’d be that decent, yes.”
“You can wonder about Kippy’s paternity until Hell freezes over,” Edwina said, between clenched teeth.
“You told me a long while ago, on the telephone, when you were still in Paris, that you were certain that Kippy was Dieters child. Was that a lie too?”
“I guess you won’t ever know, will you,” she snickered.
Tears began to roll down my cheeks, and I brushed them aside in anger and frustration. “What on Earth did I ever do to deserve this from you, Edwina? What became of our friendship? Our loyalty to one another?”
“Oh stop being so dramatic and stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one has done anything to you. You have your precious Spence, Isabella and all off the money anyone could ever want. You do not have any idea what it is like to be on the outside looking in. Well, I do. And I don’t ever intend to be in that position again.”
“Edwina! You have never been on the outside looking in! You have wonderful parents. Had a happy upbringing. You have never wanted for anything. Your father is highly successful. This is idiotic talk.”
“Oh yes, he’s successful. However, not nobility. You think it never mattered that I couldn’t be presented at Court. That I was not good enough to bow to the King. You think it didn’t matter that I watched your life in this ages’ old mansion and never compared it to my own home…That I did not look on with longing when I saw the way your family lives. The cars, hotels, gourmet restaurants, servants, chauffeurs, and on and on and on. You’re so spoiled rotten that you have no idea that there are others who’d give anything to live as you do.”
Willow Grove Abbey: A Historical World War II Romance Novel (The Somerville Trilogy) Page 37