by Rita Hestand
"Oh Trish…why him? I mean, I guess he's a man, alright, but…you could do better, Trish. You are such a beauty."
"I don't want a man who wants my beauty. I want a man who can support me and take care of me. I was poor all my life, Sarah. I want stability more than anything in the world." Trish answered too simply. "Look, I know what you are all thinking, but it will be fine. I'm not expecting much, just to be supported and taken care of. That's all. And I really think Chester will do that."
When Trish left, the girls all gathered around Ma. "I can't believe she would marry such a man." Maggie shook her head.
Ma plopped herself down in a chair and wiped a tear away. "I only hope she really knows what she is doing."
"Yeah, me too." Jo Ella sighed.
"We should be happy for her." Sarah countered when everyone shot her a frown. "Well, it's really her choice, not ours."
"Happy? With Chester?"
"Well, she is getting married." Sarah responded.
Everyone groaned.
"After the dance we'll throw her a little party, just for the ladies and give her some stuff that will help make life a little easier for her. But I can't believe she's even thinking of having that man's children." Ma shook her head.
"Love is funny that way." Nadine said firming her lips.
"Love! She isn't marrying him for love, and we all know that. But bless her heart I can't blame her for wanting some security in her life."
"Well, marriage then." Nadine corrected as she looked around at everyone. "Look, sometimes we can't be too choosy."
"Trish could!" They all choired.
~*~
Two days later Luke came by. He was talking to Ma but watching the stairs as though expecting someone.
"So," Ma glanced at him as he turned away from her. "You're taking Sarah to the dance."
He turned and flushed, flustered he didn't know how to respond, "Y-yes, I thought I would."
"I'm glad. Sarah is a really sweet little thing." Ma smiled at him, as though she knew something he didn't.
"Yes, I'm beginning to see that. Besides, I couldn't let her go with Orville, now could I?"
Ma's smile turned to a frown. "Is that why you asked her?"
Luke whirled about then poured himself a cup of Ma's great coffee and sat down at the table. "No, of course not."
"What have you got against Orville?" Ma asked eyeing him now as she turned from the stove and moved toward the table.
"Nothing, nothing at all. I just noticed how she would rather be in the kitchen helping you, than sitting on the porch swing with Orville." Luke said, and then saw the look of disbelief on Ma's face. "Well, I noticed that even though he goes fishing with Haney, Brady and Sarah, he didn't attend the funeral, nor has he been by to offer condolences. He hasn't been to church at all. Being new in the community might be the reason, but still, if one wants to make a good impression on others; he has to put forth some feelings for the community."
"He hasn't been here that long. He might have felt he was intruding, and rather not. I'd think you'd be the first to understand, being a Reverend." Ma twisted her head in question.
Luke pondered that a moment. "Perhaps you are right Ma. I'm a little quick to draw conclusions about people." Luke admitted his brow furrowing.
"Yes, I noticed that." Ma said and got up to turn the fried potatoes once they had browned. She turned back to look at him. He seemed to be self-examining himself.
"You noticed I'm quick to draw conclusions?" Luke frowned.
"You did about Sarah. You thought because she was short, she was a child. She's very much a woman, Luke."
"Yes," his eyes began to sparkle. "I did think she was much younger. She has such a beautiful child like face."
"Is this invitation of going to the dance a sign you are courting her, or are you just being a kind Reverend?" Ma asked.
Luke reddened again. He firmed his lips, knowing Ma wanted to know his intentions.
"I'd like to get to know her…" He began carefully.
"To see if you want to court her or not?" Ma kept prying.
Frustrated he stood up, "To see, if we are both interested in doing so…"
Ma nodded with satisfaction, and a slight playful smile. "Well, since I'm her adopted Ma now, it's a good thing you laid it out for me. Because I don't want Sarah hurt."
"I'd never…" He whirled around to lean against the back of a chair and stare at Ma.
"Not intentionally, no, but sometimes Luke a Reverend can tend to be a little judgmental. I can tell you that Sarah is a sweet, unassuming young woman. But that's telling you. You got to find that out for yourself."
Luke looked miffed. "Ma…I know she is a good person. I know she has a soft heart, she's caring. That's the kind of woman that makes a good wife. Especially for a preacher. But you can't just jump in with both feet, now can you?"
"Is that all you care about, that she's good hearted?" Ma frowned once more, the lines on her forehead telling him he had to be careful once more.
"Of course not," He admitted. "I'm attracted to her, if that's what you want to know." He answered almost belligerently.
"Really?"
"I have been for a while. But at first, I thought her much too young. It rather angered me that I was thinking along those lines when I thought she was so young."
"And now?"
"Now I realize she isn't and she is a very sweet person, I want to get to know her better, Ma." He was repeating himself, but he couldn't blurt out his feelings so soon.
"Fine, if it turns into more…than liking, I want to know your intentions. I'm responsible for that young lady and I won't have anyone taking advantage of her. She's…well, she's a bit more naïve than some." Ma explained.
Luke shook his head, "It is strange Ma. One minute she is mad at me and telling me what for, the next, she is so sweet and kind, I can't believe she is the same girl. But out on the porch the other evening, she was talking to Haney, and I was amazed at how easily she understands people."
"Have you kissed her?"
"What?" Luke face screwed up in a huge frown. How did they go from kind and sweet to kissing in one sentence?
"You heard me, alright." Ma chuckled.
"Don't you think that's between her and I?" He asked, his brow shooting upward.
"You have, haven't you?" Ma smiled knowingly.
"So…how was it?" Ma asked with a boldness he hadn't expected.
"I can't believe you are asking such questions." Luke almost shouted.
"Ain't none of my business of course and you don't have to answer, that expression on your face tells me a lot. I guess you won't be mistaking her for a child any longer, will you?" Ma went back to the stove and set the potatoes off the heat.
She took the lid off the beans and stirred them. "We're having beans, potatoes and cornbread, a simple meal, but you are welcome to stay of course." Ma turned her head back to him with a big smile.
"I'd love to. Is…is she here?" Luke asked.
"Of course she is. Sarah is a homebody most of the time. She doesn't shop like the other girls unless it's for material for a dress or something. She sews most of her own clothes you know. She quilts, sews, and helps me cook and clean around the house. She's the daughter I never had. And…I'm glad you are taking her to the dance…"
"One couldn't tell by all the questions, Ma." Luke frowned at her.
"Now you know I love you Luke…and I love Sarah too. I want what is best for her. You happened to tell Sarah that you courted Emily because you weren't serious about her. I wanted to know why you are inviting her suddenly to a dance. Now I know. You like her. You like her a lot. And I'm glad of it, son."
Luke began to relax. He hadn't planned on this encounter, but in some ways he was glad he'd had this talk with Ma. He hadn't once thought how it might look to the town that he'd been seen with Emily a few times. Now he was taking Sarah to the dance, he could plainly see why Ma was concerned about it. But Emily and Sarah were completely two diff
erent kinds of women. He realized that when Haney's mother died, and when he recounted all the help Sarah had been to the community.
He had to admit, when he kissed her, it threw him for a loop. Her kiss had set him on fire, and he wasn't used to that experience. He hadn't expected it to be so passionate between them, but that was the only word he thought of. She was the only woman he wanted to kiss and go on kissing. However, things were going too fast and he needed to take some time to really know Sarah. He wasn't officially courting her…not yet anyway!
He'd never considered whether he was courting her or just asking her to the dance. It was a serious step and the reason it was serious is that he felt differently about Sarah than Emily.
Just how differently he wasn't sure, but he knew that kissing her had set off a lot of questions in his mind.
Chapter Eighteen
Sarah came downstairs before dinner was ready and Ma told her Luke wanted to talk to her on the front porch.
"What about?" Sarah asked innocently. Dipping her finger into the mashed potatoes and drawing out some on her finger. She licked her fingers. "I love your mashed potatoes."
"Stay out of that. And I don't know dear. He just said if you came down early if you'd come out and sit with him on the porch." Ma glanced at her.
"You don't need me?" she asked in an almost pleading voice.
"No dear, I don't." Ma smiled. "Go on, see what he wants."
Sarah's lip peppered with sweat, her hands were sweating too. She swallowed hard, and tried to reinforce her courage. She was sure that Luke wanted to apologize for kissing her, and that he'd rethought things. Not that she blamed him. She had blatantly kissed him back and he probably thought her some kind of floozy.
She saw him sitting in the swing, staring out at the sunset. The colorful view seemed to mesmerize him. She glanced at the sky, and then back at him, she wasn't sure which she'd rather look at, the sky or him...
He looked so appealing sitting there.
She could imagine him coming home to her every day, kissing her silly and smiling with that impish smile of his. Still, that was daydreaming and she had to cut that out.
"Ma said you wanted to see me." She came up to the swing but she didn't sit down.
"Would you sit with me a while…?" His voice was throaty.
"Alright…" She sat down on the swing, bringing them very close, but she was anything but relaxed. Sparks seemed to shoot from her to him and back. She got a whiff of shaving cream.
"Sarah I…"
"Luke I…"
Then they both laughed. "I'm sorry, go ahead." Luke smiled, his sapphire eyes darkening in the evening sunset.
"I know you are probably going to apologize for kissing me, and there's absolutely no need…" she began not daring to look at his handsome face.
"Sarah," he reached to move a tendril of hair behind her ear, and his gaze landed on her lips. She felt a flush up her cheek. Was he going to do it again? She hoped so, and then scolded herself for hoping.
"That's not at all what I was going to say. However,…I do want to get to know you better Sarah. And I don't want to put the old cart before the new horse, so to speak."
"Oh…I agree." The tension of talking to him about herself manifested a list of worries for Sarah. If he got to know her, really know her, would he care at all? Their relationship right now was too tentative. Why couldn't things just be the way they were? Why did he have to know anything?
And if she wasn't honest, he'd find out and then she'd be sorry. So the less she said, the better.
Sarah drew breath when he casually put his arm behind her on the swing. He wasn't touching her, but he might as well have been.
He was wearing his ranch clothes, but he was clean and fresh shaven, something that tempted Sarah. She wished she had the pleasure of stroking that smooth cheek and kissing that firm jaw. Her fingers itched to do just that. Instead, she folded her hands together in her lap.
Controlling her emotions, she tired to lean back and relax. When she did, his arm came around her shoulders. She bolted upright suddenly. Just the thought of him touching her sent a thrill through her entire body.
"Something wrong?" He asked softly.
"It's…hard to think when you are this close…" She murmured, still not daring to look at him.
"Maybe we should break this tension and relax…" He said as he turned her chin up to meet his adoring gaze. "I don't want to apologize for kissing you Sarah, it was quite enjoyable and I want to do it again…" He whispered just before he bent to take her lips with his.
"If you don't want me to, just say so…" He whispered, hovering just above her lips.
"I don't mind…," she barely uttered.
The smooth contact brought a slight moan from Sarah as he continued to massage her lower lip, and then moved into the kiss with sweet passion. His arm behind her pulled her closer. She couldn't breathe, she didn't want to. She wanted the kiss to go on forever. This is where she longed to be for so long.
He raised his head and smiled in the dim light, "See, it was quite enjoyable wasn't it?"
She nodded, unable to speak now.
Her breathing was shallow and her mind raced.
"When I first met you, I sort of dismissed any relationship with you Sarah, because I really thought you were just a child. A beautiful child, but a child nonetheless. Having kissed you I quickly realized that you've been kissed before, and I needn't have worried. You are very good at it Sarah. And the look on your face when I kiss you, is…priceless. You are beautiful after you've been thoroughly kissed. So…now that we've broke the ice once more, I'd like to learn things about you."
"Things? What things?" She asked breathlessly. She was still unable to think straight because he still held her in the circle of his arms.
"Oh…like what color you like best. What part of the day is your best? What makes you such a complex character, and why oh why are you such a magnificent kisser." He chuckled.
"You're teasing me?" She asked a frown furrowing her brow.
"Not at all. I'm dead serious."
Sarah sat up in the swing, not allowing his arm to come into contact with her. She honestly couldn't think when he was this close. "Well, let's see, my favorite color is blue, almost any shade of blue. I like early morning before everyone wakes up, I go down and have a cup of coffee with Ma, see if I can help and just talk. I can usually hear the same old mockingbird every morning out in the tree out back. But Ma, she's so easy to talk to. However…I don't think I'm complex at all. As for the kissing part…"
He leaned closer, "Yes…"
She stood up, unable to be this close without going into his arms. "It takes two people…"
"Yes…it does." He stood up and followed her. "Maybe that's why it's so good."
She wished he wouldn't talk like that; it made her want to kiss him even more.
"I'm not complex," She whirled around, and found him too close once more. "I like fishing with Brady and Haney, I like cooking with Ma, I like visiting friends and helping out where I can."
"I've noticed how much you are involved with people, and how little time it takes you to get that way. You give so much of yourself. It's very becoming, Sarah."
"Everyone needs help now and then. I like helping them when I can. But they usually make me feel better at the same time."
"Why do you go to sleep sometimes when Maggie sings at church?" He smiled teasingly.
"I'm not exactly asleep. I guess her voice is so beautiful it takes me away, to a better place. Does that make sense?"
"You were daydreaming?" He almost chuckled but saw the quick flash of hurt in her eyes.
"No I just…well I…." She was flustered. How could she answer? If he knew the whole truth he really would have laughed.
"Why do you come to church?" He asked out of nowhere.
"That's a strange question to ask. Why? Well, that's kind of personal, isn't it?" Annoyed with his questions, she feared her answers would be transparent. It took
tremendous effort to look him in the eye now.
"I'm a preacher, and I've wanted to ask many of my parishioners why they come. I guess to you, that is a personal question. Forgive me, but curiosity gets the best of me sometimes. I'm human too. I'd like to ask half my congregation that same question. But I'm afraid they wouldn't answer."
The soft way he said that made her relax.
"I like being in the house of the Lord. I can feel God there. Almost touch him. I get this overwhelming feeling when I'm in church, just being there. It's hard to describe. Hearing the music, listening to your sermons, seeing the familiar faces. I-I didn't get much chance of going to church when I was growing up."
She hadn't meant to divulge that information, it just slipped out.
Now his expression turned serious. Thick lashes that shadowed his cheek widened with surprise and wonder. "Why not?"
"My folks didn't go much. We didn't have fancy clothes to dress up for the occasion, and sometimes people would be cruel and comment. You were supposed to wear your very best clothes to church. My Ma…she couldn't take it. So she quit going. My Pa he wasn't much interested, except when me or my brothers and sisters acted up. He'd go cut a hickory limb and beat us with it, saying God didn't like us much. I never believed that."
A smile of approval lit his face. "No…why?"
Put on the spot again, she stammered to explain. "This might sound crazy to you, but I sort of formed my own relationship with God."
He stared at her and encouraged her to go on.
"For a long time I didn't know about Jesus and when I found out, I laughed and cried all at the same time. I was overjoyed that he came and saved us, and sad that he had to pay the price. But God…I always talked to God." Her smile lit the porch like a torch. "And I realized that after I found out about Jesus that no matter what I did, God forgave. I could talk to him and he wouldn't beat me, or scold me or cast me out. I got the feeling that he always listened to me."
"But your parents did, didn't they? They beat you?"
Her head jerked up and she met his confused glance. "I didn't say that…My father did."
"But they did, didn't they Sarah?" He probed.