by Rita Hestand
"About what?" He asked moving closer.
"You rescued me, and that was wonderful and I understood what you did, but others might not…" she began with hesitancy. "I mean, we spent the night there. And when those cowboys came in…I was still…naked under that blanket. I'm afraid what people might say….about you!"
"But you aren't afraid of what they might say about you?" He questioned, his eyes sparkling as he stared into her worried face.
"Luke there are things you should know about me…" she began.
"I already know…" He said softly.
"Who told you?"
"Ma."
Sarah gasped. "I never thought she would."
He took her hands in his. "I'm glad she did. I was in knots trying to figure you out. I'll admit, it took me by surprise. I didn't know what to think about it. I spent days pondering it, and then it dawned on me that I should have guessed it, myself."
"Who could blame you. That's why I didn't go to the dance with you. Josh knew about me, and he threatened to tell everyone. If he had, the town would look down on you, Luke…I couldn't bear that." Sarah said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "You're a preacher. A good one too. You don't deserve being treated badly."
"Sarah, you told me about your life, how you were abused, and how they kicked you out. It just didn't dawn on me at the time…you had little choice." Luke acknowledged.
Shocked that he would understand something like that, Sarah felt so drawn to him at that moment, but the kids came running back to the barn to play with the calf and the moment was broken once more.
It seemed no matter where they went, someone was going to bust in on them. Maybe it was for the best.
"I better get back inside, I want to talk to Mrs. Hodge before we leave…" Sarah said, her eyes meeting his and seeing something new in his eyes.
Her heart swelled, knowing he could still accept her, but she knew she should break things off with him. He should do well with Rebecca.
"We'll talk some more Sarah, somewhere that we won't be disturbed…" He smiled, took her hand and helped her up.
She nodded and walked away.
However she might have lost Luke, she was elated that the one man she loved could accept her for who she was and even care for her.
Still, the reality was, he was better off with Rebecca. She had to accept it and let him go. Somehow.
~*~
After they got back to town, Luke had a christening to tend to the next day.
Ma doted on Sarah for two days before she ever asked her what had happened.
"You gonna tell me what all happened…between you and Luke…" Ma asked one morning out of the blue.
Sarah looked wide-eyed at Ma. "Nothing…"
"You spent three days on that mountain and nothing happened?"
"I fell in the creek, he got me out, took care of me and we went to the Hodge's and the doc said I should be watched for a few days, so he watched me and that is the end of it." Sarah said about to walk out of the room so Ma couldn't ask any more noisy questions.
"Sarah…"
Sarah looked at her and suddenly she turned her head, "Why, what did you hear?"
"Enough, so what is the real story." Ma asked taking her by the arm and guiding her to the kitchen table where all their secrets seemed to pour out of them at Ma.
"What did you hear?"
"That you were naked with Luke and then you went to stay two more days with the Hodges. I don't believe the first part, not unless you tell me." Ma nodded her head and waited for the full story. "Now tell me what really happened."
Sarah sighed, "I want to know who told you anything about me being naked, first."
"It got around town, I don't know who spread it, but I'm sure the whole town knows by now. I want the truth. I know both of you better than that."
Sarah bowed her head. "Oh dear God…." Sarah cried.
"Sarah, what happened?" Ma firmed her lips and frowned.
"I fell in the creek and hit my head on a rock. Luke found me, pulled me out, carried me to a line shack and because I was shaking with cold, he took my clothes off of me and put them by the fire to dry. He wrapped me in a blanket. I was still out of it; he said my lips were turning blue. He was scared. He thought I was about to die."
Ma nodded, "And then what happened."
"I was out of it all night, Ma." Sarah assured her.
"Then when you woke up what happened?"
"I was naked, under the blanket, curled up in Luke's arms. It wasn't like you think Ma. He…was merely trying to warm me, I was so cold."
"And…nothing happened?" Ma asked twisting her head.
"Nothing…the cowboys showed up, they ate the food you prepared, and when my clothes were dry, Luke took me to the Hodge's. That's all. I slept in the kids bed, I don't know where Luke slept. The next day him and Mr. Hodge fixed the wagon and we came home. That's all that happened Ma."
Ma nodded. "I expected something like that, but I wanted to hear it from you."
"Oh Ma…people will think the worst."
"That's usually how it goes, yes." Ma nodded, her face serenely serious.
"As much wrong as I've done in my life, Ma. This is the truth. He never touched me." Sarah assured her.
"I know that. I was so mad when Rebecca came to see me this morning; I wanted to wring her little neck. She'd heard what happened and came storming here to talk to you. You were still asleep and I didn't bother waking you. So she unloaded on me." Ma frowned. "I gave her what for."
"I'll bet you did, thanks Ma…" Sarah smiled sadly and leaned to kiss Ma on the cheek.
"Luke came by too, he wanted to talk to you, but I told him you were still asleep and I just didn't want to wake you. He told me it was all out of proportion, that nothing happened at all."
Sarah smiled. "He told you?"
"Yes he did, almost word for word of what you said. So I know neither one of you are lying. Still, this is gonna effect his congregation. Some will believe what they want to believe." Ma sighed heavily.
"I know that Ma. That's why I'm leaving." Sarah announced.
"What? You can't leave now. It'll only make things worse if you do. They will believe something happened."
"Something did happen."
Ma's face changed, but she firmed her lips, put her hands on her hips and stared into her tearful eyes. "What?"
"We…we wanted each other…Ma."
Ma's face changed again, but to one of happiness. "You did. But you didn't?"
"Yes,…"
"That's wonderful, he does love you."
"No. No Ma, I recognized it, it was lust. Oh, maybe not on my part so much, but on his, it was. I was naked in his arms, Ma. And when he stood up, I saw…"
"You saw what?"
"He was…sort of standing out, if you know what I mean." Sarah put her hand over her mouth.
"Was it morning?"
"Of course it was."
"And he didn't do anything."
"Not one thing, just waiting until he could move…"
Ma shook her head and put her hand over Sarah's. "Don't you know that men get that way in the morning?"
Sarah thought about it a minute. "Well…yeah…but….you didn't see the look in his eyes."
"So it was morning, and he was standing there practically saluting you, and you saw lust in his eyes."
"I've seen that look too many times, Ma. Now he probably thought differently, but I know the difference Ma. Luke needs a woman he can love, and that loves him. I was right all along. I'm not the right girl for him." Sarah said so matter-of-factly that Ma's jaw dropped.
"And Ma…I love him enough to let him go. Oh…I hate leaving here. I know so many wonderful people, and I really hate it, but I'm going back to Al's where I belong. I'll miss you more than I can say, but maybe I can come and visit every now and then."
Ma flopped in the chair beside her and shook her head. "You are the stubbornness female I ever knew."
"You aren't talking me out
of this, Ma. I'm leaving. I'm going to pack now and leave on the evening train."
"Just like that you are giving up, walking out; you aren't going to face your real feelings, once and for all?" Ma hollered.
Sarah smiled a sad kind of smile that broke the heart, "I do love Luke, I can face that, I do love you, I do love the girls, and I love this town, but…what I'm doing is best, and I know that. So let me go, in peace, Ma."
Ma sat stone still…and as Sarah walked up the stair, a tear rolled down Ma's cheek.
Chapter Thirty-One
After a lot of sad goodbyes, Sarah walked quietly to the train station and purchased a one-way ticket. Knowing she was doing what was best for Luke, she felt confident now of herself.
She knew Luke had feelings for her to some extent, but she also knew he'd get over those feelings quickly. He belonged with someone like Rebecca who could bolster his position as a clergyman or a rancher. It didn't matter.
She belonged in a saloon, where she didn't have to pretend or be someone else. Guilt did play a part. She had come here with the intentions of becoming a lady, and finding a husband. It just hadn't worked out for her. She'd be the only one without a husband, the only one that had to go back to Al's. She did so knowing she would save Luke from months of embarrassment.
She bought her ticket and she carried her bags to a car in the back. She put her things away and sat down prepared for the journey home.
A tear escaped down her cheek, but she refused to acknowledge it.
When a knock came to her door and they hadn't even taken off, she wondered if the conductor could want her ticket so quickly. She reached in her bag to find it and take it to him.
But when she flung the door open, there stood Luke.
"Dammit Sarah, you are not going to leave me holding the bag this time…" He said and moved so close she had to back up.
"Leave you…holding the bag?" She frowned.
"Yeah," he said softly. Standing there in his rugged clothes, with his hat cocked, and looking sexier than any man had a right to.
"I don't understand," she looked guilty, even though she didn't feel it.
"That's not good enough this time," he said and turned to close the door and lock it.
"But…you can't do that; we'll be leaving any minute." She protested.
"Oh yes I can…I'm going with you."
"What do you mean, with me?" she asked, her face contorting into pure misery.
"You stood me up for the dance. Because you cared about me. Now you are leaving me, because you care about me. This has to stop. I can't take it any more. When are you going to stop and stand still long enough for me to tell you I'm crazy about you?" He shouted.
"No…no you're not!" She began, her breathing was erratic, her heart was pounding like a hammer. She swallowed hard, as the look in his eyes devoured her.
"No…you see, I know that look. It can fool you. It's lust…not…"
"Not what?"
"Luke…I."
"I'm not leaving until you tell me you love me too!" He demanded bending closer, his lips hovering over hers, waiting.
Her hands came up to plummet him, but stilled in mid air, her eyes met his and she was lost, "Oh God…I do love you."
"Then woman, don't you ever…ever, try leaving me again. We have a wedding to go to…"
"A wedding? Who's?" She asked.
"Ours, my love…" he said so softly she barely heard him before he kissed her repeatedly.
She melted into his arms and held on for life.
"How can you marry a woman like me?" She asked.
"Honey, you're the only woman I've ever loved, don't you know that."
"Oh Luke…" she kissed him this time and so passionately, he backed her into the car and held her there in his arms.
"We're holding a church up. Everyone in town thinks I compromised you. And I haven't had that pleasure…yet. So, what are we waiting for?"
'But…I don’t' have a dress…"
He laughed out loud. "Honey, I'd just as soon put a blanket over you and carry you off to bed, right this minute, but Ma would be so disappointed. She's got a dress for you, and Maggie, Nadine, and Jo Ella are waiting to help you get ready."
"Are you doing this because of the scandal I caused you?"
Luke looked up and smiled, "Pardon me God, but hell no, I'm doing this because I want you to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face, and nothing else, because we made love all night. But first, I want you to know something. That night I took your clothes off, I wanted you so bad, I couldn't see straight."
She gasped.
"But when I woke up the next morning and realized you were in my arms…and I hadn't touched you, I knew what real love was about. It was about not taking advantage, but realizing what caused those feelings inside me. It was about love, Sarah. Real honest to goodness love. From that moment, I knew you were the only woman I could ever want. Ever marry. I didn't touch you because I thought too much of you to hurt you like that. But God only knows how much I wanted you that night. Some say that it's vulgar to put God in your love making, but God made love. He is love! And you are my love! And there is nothing on this earth that can turn love into something dirty. What I feel for you is pure, and deep and real and so good it will last a lifetime and into eternity. You are mine Sarah Mills and I'm claiming my mail-order bride."
Sarah stared with her mouth open.
He smiled broadly, "An open mouth is an open invitation to a kiss."
Then he kissed her again and the world spun around.
"Now…do you want to take this train ride or not?"
Sarah could still feel the tingle of his lips on hers. She looked into his eyes and her heart quickened.
"Not…" she cried, and he swooped her into his arms, unlocked the door and carried her out of the train, out of the station, and down the street to the church.
Ma, Nadine, Maggie and Jo Ella met her there.
"Well it's about time you got here," Maggie nagged with a smile.
"And wait until you see the dress. Abigail helped me make it and it couldn't be prettier." Ma chuckled.
"How did you all know?" Sarah looked shocked at them all. "How did you know I'd come back?"
"Luke said and did all the right things, but one…" Maggie told her.
Sarah looked skeptical, "One…"
"To tell you he loved you!" They all spoke at once.
Ma shook her head, "Some men are so dense!"
"Oh Ma…" Sarah shook her head and stared at her loved ones. She belonged in Vada, with Luke, surrounded by her friends. She loved so many people here, Brady, Haney, Abigail, Mrs. Hodge, the girls, and Ma but most of all, she loved her preacherman!
About The Author
Rita Hestand is a native Texan. Although she was born in Texas, she traveled extensively throughout the United States with her parents. Her father was a pipeliner and mother was a hairdresser.
Rita has two daughters, seven grandchildren, and two great grandchildren. She lives in a small Texas town, and loves to go out with her family for outings.
She loves to bowl, but she's not very good at it. She enjoys old movies, rock and roll music and reading.
She considers herself a hermit.
She's multi-published in both contemporary and historical romance; she has a series out in the thriller section. Rita also writes children's books and poetry.
So come see Rita on the net.
Her books are in most of the bookstores on line. She also has paperback editions too.
Rita's Other Books
Series
The Travers Brothers (now in box sets too)
The Amory's (also in box sets)
The McKay's (in box sets as well)
The Armstrong's
The Connor's
Brides of the West
Red River Valley Brides Series
Western Serial Killer Series
The Dream Catcher Series
Some of her single titles are: I
n contemporary
Nick's Baby, Pretend Mom, Runaway Bride, Strictly Business, Suspicions of the Heart, Wandering Heart,
Some singles in historical:
Always Remember
Jodi's Journey
Thanks for reading this novel, hope you enjoyed it.