by Nina Walker
“Are you hiding any more secrets from me?” Richard asked. It was a tough question. Of course, she was hiding mountains of information from him. And he suspected it. If she said no, she’d likely pass the test. Pass, because everyone would know she’d been lying and they wouldn’t trust her. If she said yes, she would have to divulge some information. And it was likely she would fail this color. I wanted her to fail. For her own safety. She had to fail.
“Yes,” she said simply, calmly. “I do have one more secret.”
“And what’s that, little alchemist?” Richard asked. The room froze with anticipation. All eyes were intense on Jessa. She swallowed before speaking easily, with an open smile.
“I know you didn’t like it when your son was dating that other alchemist girl. The one who disappeared?”
“And what’s your point,” Faulk spat, unrestrained. She stalked behind Richard, pacing, her eyes narrowed into slits. If the woman wasn’t careful, she was going to give herself a headache.
Jessa didn’t bother to acknowledge Faulk; her eyes stayed locked on my father. “I know you look down on the idea of an alchemist and a royal dating. You don’t want an alchemist anywhere near that crown. Lucas told me as much. But you see, I think you don’t have as much control over your son as you think you do.”
“And why is that?” Richard folded his arms before turning back to look at me. Actually, there was an audible shuffle as everyone in the room turned to me.
“Your son wants me.”
My mouth fell into a hard line. This was so not good for us, for whatever our relationship was growing into. I wanted to keep it secret until I could find a way to get Richard to agree to it.
“Is that true?” Richard faced me now, anger dripped from the question. And a fair mix of fatherly disappointment, which didn’t actually mean anything to me. I didn’t care what he thought anymore.
I let out a breath. If I lied, suspicion would be sent right back on Jessa. The questions would continue until she eventually gave too much away. But if I told the truth about my relationship with her, Richard would lecture me mercilessly, and I might lose my only lifeline. Still, I had no choice.
“Her observation of me might have some truth to it,” I conceded.
Reed laughed, Faulk clicked her tongue, and Richard glowered. We both knew what memory was on replay in his mind. After Richard found Sasha in my room, he’d forbidden me to fraternize with alchemists. Richard had been livid, but things had gotten so out of hand that day—and then Mom had died. We hadn’t had the conversation again.
“Everybody, get out,” Richard said, ice piercing every word.
“But what about the rest of the test?” Faulk asked.
“She failed,” Richard spat. “Now get out!”
They scurried from the room like frightened mice, not a backbone in sight. Jessa followed with a dazed expression. I had to admit, I was proud of her. Everything she did made me like her even more. She’d managed to act as if she was completely under Reed’s magical spell, when really, she wasn’t. Her power was growing stronger every day. And turning the attention to our relationship? While it caused a problem for me, it took my father’s attention off the deeper secrets we shared. It was actually kind of brilliant.
Richard stood slowly from the chair, scratching it on the polished concrete floor. He stalked toward me until he stood only inches away. We were so similar in our physicality, it was almost uncanny. But we couldn’t be more different. I stared back at the man who was my physical mirror. He was the “thirty years older” version. White peppered his dark hair. Storms brewed in his gray eyes. Deep lines pulled at his masculine face.
“Are you purposely trying to disappoint me?”
“No, sir.”
“Was I not clear before? With that other…thing?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why are you interested in Jessa? She is a pawn. My pawn!” he challenged. “Alchemists are not to be trusted. Ever. They are too powerful to be anything other than our slaves. We have a duty to protect our royal bloodline. Do I make myself clear?”
I nodded, meeting the darkness in his eyes with my own. He knew nothing, absolutely nothing.
Your own son is an alchemist!
“You know we tracked that fake back to her, right?”
I paused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that Sasha and Jessa have more in common than just alchemy.”
So they’d combed through everything and figured out who Sasha really was– Francesca Loxley. The long lost alchemist, turned rebel spy.
“Stay away from Jessa,” he continued. “You’re no longer needed to oversee her training. She’s fine to train like all the others. Keep your distance.”
A hard knot of tension gathered in my chest. Forbidding me to see Jessa would only stoke the fire I had burning for her. He may be my father, and he may think of Jessa as his slave, but I was no slave. I would do whatever I wanted. No matter what, I would find a way. Until then, I’d just have to be extra careful. In the midst of my depression over Mom, Jessa was the only thing that mattered. He wouldn’t take that away from me.
“I understand, sir.”
I paced the length of my bedroom, rubbing my hands across my face. I stopped, tilted my head and gazed up at the ceiling. I needed to see her.
I wanted to talk to her, make sure she still wanted me as much as I wanted her. Two days had passed since her blue test, and I was a man obsessed. But in that time, I’d forced myself to stay away. My security team normally kept their distance when we were home. With palace guards and officers swarming the place, there wasn’t a huge need for someone to tail me at all times. But ever since Richard had forbade me from dating Jessa, I’d noticed more eyes pointing my way than normal. More guards watching me, more officers around than ever. It was obvious that my father had sent out some kind of order to keep me under observation. At the rate we were going, there was no chance I could just pop into her bedroom again.
Forget it. I stalked from our apartment and out into the corridor. I was heading into the GC wing, even if it meant I only got to catch a glimpse of her. That is, if I was lucky. It came as no surprise that eyes followed me as I walked. If they didn’t catch me actually with her, then they had nothing to say to Richard.
There has to be something I can do…
There were fewer watchful eyes in certain areas of the palace. The royal wing—but obviously that was out. The gardens—but it was almost fall and there weren’t many leaves left to keep us hidden. Not to mention, it was getting colder. And the servant areas had too many people.
No one seemed too bothered lately when I ate in the GC dining hall. But I went there again and again, just to catch a glimpse of Jessa. I couldn’t help myself; I was seriously losing my mind over the girl. She was the best distraction I had to keep myself from thinking about…darker things.
I entered the dining hall, my steady gaze searching for her. Jessa wasn’t anywhere to be found. The room was filled with alchemists and officers, paired off in their respective parties. I frowned and bee-lined to the one person who might have an idea: Jasmine. I sat across from the older woman dining alone and threw my hands up in the air.
“I need to see her.”
“Hello, Your Highness,” she said warmly. “How can I help you?”
“I’m sure you probably know this by now, but my father has pulled me off Jessa’s training.” She was one of the only alchemists who didn’t bug me. She dressed her own way, moved to her own beat, and the officers let her because she was so good at her job. Plus, she was trustworthy. She’d never drawn an ounce of suspicion her way.
Jasmine nodded and pulled her gray braid back over her shoulder, stroking the ends before meeting my gaze. Her eyes were bright as she nodded, a knowing smile playing at her lips. “And this isn’t okay with you, because?”
I coughed. “Because…” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have a good enough reason. I just wanted to be with Jessa. The pull to
protect her was as strong as the need to breathe.
“Because you’re in love with her?” She spoke like we were talking about the weather.
A zap of energy ran through my body at her question. I thought maybe I was in love, but I wasn’t ready to admit it out loud. It seemed so childish. I’d only known Jessa for a few months. There was still so much left between us to figure out, if we ever got the chance.
“I just…need to see her,” I finally said.
She held my gaze, studying me.
“And since I’ve been tasked with her training now, you think I can help you with that?” she asked.
I nodded. Because I wanted to see her, yes. But I also wanted to talk to her about the Resistance some more. I hated that she was still working with them, whoever they were. I couldn’t trust an organization shrouded in so much secrecy. That was exactly what had led me to distrust my own father in the first place. I needed her to understand, to get away from them so she could stay safe.
You couldn’t save your mother. What makes you think you can save Jessa?
“Fine, you poor boy. I’ll help you,” she said, lowering her voice. A knowing smile lit her face. “I always was a romantic at heart.”
“What do you need me to do?” I blurted the question.
“You two can meet in my classroom when it’s empty. As you know, it has its own private greenhouse. You should find some privacy there. Not to mention, there are multiple entrances.” She winked, and an iota of hope rose in my body. But the thought badgered me. Was she really willing to help us?
“I like you, Lucas.” She smiled. “And I like Jessa. You two are good for each other.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Just promise me if you get caught, you won’t drag me into it?”
“Of course not. And it’s not like you’re always in your classroom anyway, right?”
“That’s true. I always lock my desk. But sometimes, I forget to lock the doors.” She winked again and eased herself from her chair. Her floral skirt sashayed around her as she shuffled away.
I followed her with my gaze and froze. Jessa had just walked in. She had that serious expression on her face that she got sometimes. I loved that look, but I loved her smile even better. I would do anything to see it again. I stood. Just as Jasmine was leaving, the two stopped to talk. They both caught my gaze for a moment. Jasmine leaned in to add something more, and Jessa’s cheeks flared. Then they left together.
This was my chance.
I strolled casually from the dining room, careful to make sure nobody followed. After that, it didn’t take me more than a couple of minutes to find my way into the greenhouse. Jasmine wasn’t at her desk on my way in, but Jessa stood just under the cropping of tropical trees. She was leaning toward a flower, smelling it. Her hair curled down her back, her body relaxed. When she turned to me, her complexion glowed radiantly in the evening light. Then she smiled.
“Do you think they believed it?” Jessa asked.
“What?” I couldn’t concentrate. The heat and her flushed cheeks were distracting me in a very good way. We walked farther into the greenhouse.
The room was massive, humid, and filled with colorful plants curated from all over the planet. I watched as her fingers trailed across them. Lucky plants. It was vital that alchemists had access to many colors so they could do their magic. They didn’t have to have natural elements like these, but it made things much easier. Life held the most magic of all.
“With the blue test? Do you think they fell for it?”
I smiled, shaking my head in amazement. “You were incredible.”
“I hate failing. The competitive dancer in me won’t accept anything less than perfection.” She laughed, and the sound drew me to her.
I grabbed her free hand, linking her fingers between my own, and pulled her even farther into the foliage. Once I was sure we were out of sight, I backed her up against a tree and stared down at her parted lips. Her eyes flitted from my mouth to my eyes and back down again. I took pity on us both and decided not to prolong the inevitable. I kissed her. Molding my lips to hers, all my stress fell away.
There was something different about this girl. Somehow I’d let her in, allowing her to peer into the hidden places of me. And miraculously, she didn’t cower at what she saw. I came with heavy baggage, and she helped carry my load. No one had ever cared enough to do that for me before. Not beyond the surface of what I could do for them. She never asked me to do anything.
I wrapped her in close, while also restraining myself as much as possible. It wasn’t easy. But she was young and innocent. I didn’t want to add any more reasons for her to leave me. After losing my mother, I couldn’t handle losing Jessa too. The break would fracture in too many places.
“So what do we do now?” she asked, pausing our kiss. I pressed my forehead to hers and breathed in her lilac and honey scent.
“Honestly,” I said, “I’m not even sure myself.”
“We have to keep this a secret, don’t we?”
“Yes.” I hated that word: secret. I groaned and stepped back, taking in every bit of her reaction. Was she upset?
“Okay.” She smiled softly. “We can meet here until we figure something else out.”
Relief washed through me. The greenhouse was one of many on the property. It wasn’t the most romantic or secluded spot in the palace, but it was cooling down now as the weather changed, and it was private enough with all the plants to hide us from view. And, most importantly, it was ours.
“But Lucas? Will you please talk to me?”
“About what?”
“About your mother. About Thomas. About everything. I’m really worried about you. I just…what is this between us? Am I just a way for you to numb yourself?”
I felt myself hesitate. When her face crumbled, I mentally kicked myself.
“It’s not like that.” I leaned in to hug her before facing her. “I don’t know how to put it into words, Jessa. Are you a distraction?” I smirked, thinking about how good it felt to kiss her like I just had. “Absolutely. But a really, really good one. And not for the reasons you think.”
“Is that so?” She let out a teasing laugh. “Not for any of those reasons?”
I played along. “Okay, maybe a little bit. But Jessa, I like you a lot. Ever since you walked into my life, you turned my world upside down. I used to be so lost. Hell, I’m still lost, especially now, but you, you make me feel like I can be found again.”
I knew it was cheesy. Every word would have had me rolling my eyes just months earlier, but it was the truth now. She was my truth.
I stood back and studied her face. Her wide ocean eyes that pulled me in every time I looked at them. Her curly, dark hair that, in the last few minutes of kissing and the greenhouse’s humidity, had managed to grow larger than it already was. But I loved it, and I loved that about her. Her cheeks lifted in her earth-shattering smile and there was just so much goodness in her.
“Say it out loud,” she dared me.
I smiled. “My whole life I’ve been surrounded by darkness. My mother was sick for years. My father, well, you already know what kind of man he is. The officers can’t be trusted. And the alchemists come in as innocent children and leave as brainwashed guardians. What few friends I have are more like acquaintances to me.” My voice grew thick. “I’m an only child, and I’ve always just been so…alone.”
She frowned.
“No,” I said, putting my finger to her lower lip. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I didn’t know any different. And I know I have it better in here than a lot of people have it out there. I’m not trying to throw a pity party. I’m just saying, I didn’t know what I was missing. I didn’t know there could be someone like you.”
She blushed and swooped in for a quick kiss. I forced myself not to linger.“I’m serious, Jessa. You love your family with a bigger heart than I’ve ever seen. You’ll do anything for them. My family never worked that way. And some
how, in the middle of all this chaos, you decided to give me a chance. I’m so full of faults. I’ve made mistakes. And lost so much. And yes, I may be a prince, but I feel I have so little to offer you.”
“I know you’re doing your best. It’s okay–”
“No, it’s not okay,” I spoke louder. “You don’t deserve to be hidden away. But it’s the best I can do right now. And I just…I don’t want to lose you.” I lost it then, my voice cracking on the last few words. I’d already lost too much. Truth was, if I lost Jessa too, I would fall apart for sure. But I also knew in my gut that I didn’t deserve her.
“You won’t lose me.” She smiled and brushed her hand along my cheek.
I leaned into it, before moving into a hug. She burrowed her head into my neck, and shivers ran down my spine. It just seemed so illogical that I was here. That I was in this position, holding this girl, falling in love with this unattainable future.
“Lucas,” she said, “I have to go now.”
“Go where?”
She hesitated. “Resistance stuff.”
I practically growled. That reminded me… “Are you sure you can trust them, Jessa? Maybe we don’t need them. Maybe we can change things ourselves, without all the secrets and politics.”
“You know I’m committed to this.” She stepped back. Pain traced her features, and I decided to drop it for the moment. I nodded once and grabbed her hand, tracing the outline of her palm.
“Just promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I’ll be careful, Lucas, I promise. It’s okay, really, I’ll be fine.”
She kissed me quickly before disappearing. I was tempted to follow her, but decided against it. She would know. They would know.
I leaned against the tree, the same she’d used as her anchor moments ago. My thoughts turned angry.
She was too trusting. The Resistance could easily turn out to be just as dark and twisted as my father. What if they used her, hurt her, broke her spirit? She’d promised to be careful with them, but would they be careful with her? Not a chance. She was in danger. She’d willingly put herself right in the middle of a deadly situation, and there was nothing I could do to get her out.