by Nina Walker
Invisibility was an extremely useful skill. I balked when I rounded a corner, stepping into full view of a group of officers, but no one looked in my direction. I checked the gym just in case. She was still there. A few people came close to bumping into me as I went in, but I was able to dodge them. A small trickle of fatigue picked at my eyes, and I took a steady breath. I found a corner and watched impatiently.
Jessa, come on. Connect with your handler.
She was sparring with Reed. Again. She was always forgiving that guy. He grabbed her around her waist, and I was reminded why I didn’t like him. He wasn’t trustworthy, for one thing. But it was his obvious romantic interest in her that made me dislike him the most. He flirted ruthlessly, always worming his way into her life. He wasn’t shy about what he was doing. I’d seen him around with plenty of different female alchemists. The kid knew how to get a girl. I never worried about it too much before, but now that we weren’t together anymore, seeing Jessa with him killed me. The urge to go over there and rip the guy off of her consumed me. He had her pinned to the ground as she wriggled to get out of his grip. When they laughed, I almost lost it.
I stared at the wall as they did a few more rounds. Biding my time, I pushed off the exhaustion beginning to overtake me. I couldn’t see the rose in my hand, since it was also invisible, but I wondered how much longer I had. A while, but not forever. I considered turning back.
If you don’t keep her safe, no one else will. You owe her.
She knocked Reed to the ground and smirked in his face, letting out a whoop of victory. She helped him up, and he brought his arm around her as they walked toward the greenhouse out back, no doubt to heal their wounds. I followed, knowing this meant she was done fighting for the day.
I didn’t anticipate that there would be so many people back there. I had to stop multiple times to let people pass, just in case. When I finally made it inside, I warmed at the sight. She had friends. The other alchemists weren’t nearly so hostile toward her as they usually were. A few of them laughed with her over her knocking Reed out. I smiled. They would grow to love her if they just got to know her.
When she left, I followed close behind. It was most likely that she was going to her own room for a shower. I may be invisible, but I wasn’t a creep. I would have to wait outside for her and hoped she’d be quick.
But as she approached the corridor that led to her room, she passed it, and continued down the hallway. She stopped abruptly, every muscle tense and still. Then she whipped around. I didn’t move an inch, holding my breath. She eyed the hallway but nobody was in this area right now except me. Of course she couldn’t see me. But could she feel me watching her?
She hesitated for a few long moments and then opened the door to Jasmine’s classroom and office. I wasn’t sure what that meant. Jasmine had been training her, and I’d helped put the two of them together. Jasmine was older and kind, matronly even. Jessa had been so vulnerable in the beginning. She needed somebody comforting on her side, which was why I’d originally asked for Jasmine’s help. I sighed, knowing it was probably a typical meeting with her mentor. I was running out of time!
Still, I pressed my ear to the door and looked in through the glass windows. But then something curious happened. The windows had a special feature to create privacy when needed. And that’s just what they did. Jasmine walked over, and they nonchalantly switched from clear to opaque.
Why do they need privacy?
Mumbled conversation filtered from the other side of the door, but it was hard to make out the words.
“The war?” Jessa said. A scraping noise followed—most likely a drawer being opened. “Hold on…” Then there was nothing.
Absolute silence.
My heart rate skyrocketed. Jasmine. I’d trusted her. And clearly she was using blue alchemy to protect against eavesdroppers. There was no other explanation for complete silence on their end. She had to be Resistance, otherwise they never would have done that. It was dangerous to keep secrets here. That kind of behavior was forbidden.
How had I missed it?
I fought the urge to push open the door and confront her right there and then. I’d spent so much time with Jasmine while helping the Resistance. And all I’d wanted was some validation from them. If she was the Resistance’s contact in the palace, why couldn’t she have trusted me enough to reveal her secret to me? Knowing how close I’d been to her, and how easily I’d been deceived despite that, had me reeling.
I pressed myself against the wall, holding my breath, waiting for Jessa to leave. I had zero hesitation about what needed to be done.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, Jessa exited the room. Her face was reddened as she wiped a bead of sweat from her brow. She didn’t hesitate as she ambled off toward her room. Once I was sure she was gone, and no one else was in the hallway, I took a deep breath and willed myself to become visible again. It worked, my body filling out into full color. The rose was only about half gray, divided down the middle by life and death. I pushed open the door.
“I know who you are,” I said, slamming the door behind me. Jasmine sat at her desk, the blue stone still in her hands. “Don’t try to deny it. I know you’re with the Resistance. You’re Jessa’s contact.”
She stood, her eyes widening. “It’s not what you think.”
“Save it,” I said. “Let me make this brief. You’re going to exclude Jessa from everything Resistance from here on out. She is no longer a part of your organization. Your only concern for her is her alchemy. And to keep her safe.”
“You don’t know what you’re doing. We want the same things, Lucas.”
“You don’t know the first thing about what I want!” I yelled.
She shook her head. “Where are these threats coming from? Lucas, this isn’t you.” I momentarily froze, confused by her tone. She meant what she said.
I shook my head, resolved in my decision. “Oh, it’s not a threat. It’s an order. And if you don’t do as I say, then I promise you will be the next one on that executioner’s stand.”
I meant it. I moved in close, leaning my palms against her desk. “Do not underestimate me.”
“And what if I told your father all of your secrets?” she responded, leaning back in her chair. I wasn’t sure she was alluding to my short time with the Resistance or if she knew about my alchemy. I wasn’t going to stick around and find out.
“You have no proof of anything. It would be your word against mine,” I said. “And who do you think my father is going to believe? Some healer with a distaste for the rules?” I peered at her clothing. She was the only guardian who didn’t dress in black. She got away with it because she’d been one of my mother’s only alchemist friends. I still didn’t know why she went against the grain; self-expression had always been my guess. “Or is he going to believe his own son?”
Something threatening traced her eyes, as well as something else. Tiredness. Both were emotions I hadn’t seen on the woman before. Either way, I seemed to have the upper hand. She nodded, lips pinched.
“Oh, and one more thing. Don’t you dare tell her anything about this conversation.” I headed for the door. We both knew whom I was talking about.
“You don’t understand what you’re doing, Lucas. You’ll only put her in more danger by doing this,” she called after me.
I didn’t dignify that garbage with a response as I shoved the rose that had been hanging limp in my hand into my pocket. I slammed the door behind me.
12
Jessa
About a quarter of the guardians were gone. When they left the night before, everything went from chaotic to downright silent. Nobody wanted to talk about it. And nobody wanted to admit it, but worry followed us around like a dark shadow. Breakfast was a solemn affair as we all waited to hear news, knowing it was likely we wouldn’t hear anything for a while.
I wasn’t the only one pecking at my food as I sat at one of the tables surrounded by my new friends. It was weird, how far I’d c
ome. Not to say I was friends with Brooke or her crowd. But ever since the last party, it was as if the other alchemists decided to stop hating me.
Over the last couple of days, the others my age had started talking to me. Inviting me to eat with them, spar with them, sitting by me in the few group lessons I attended. It was as if everyone was worried about bigger things, and I was suddenly invited to the party. It was part of what Jasmine wanted, so I wasn’t complaining. As much as I hated to admit it, it felt good. I guessed deep down maybe there was a part of everyone who wanted to be accepted. Some of us just knew how to hide it better than others.
“I wonder when we are going to be called up,” one of the girls said. She’d gone out of her way to be nice to me, which I appreciated. “Usually those of us under eighteen are stuck in training, with the occasional mission,” she finished. I’d recently learned her name was Callie. I didn’t question why she’d befriended me, because I quickly noticed she was one of those people who made friends with everyone. There were four of us: a boy, me, Callie, and a blond girl who sat across from me.
“Not this time,” the girl across the table sighed, her brown eyes heavy. “Reed and Brooke have both gone, as well as about twenty others under eighteen. There were even a couple of fifteen-year-olds and one fourteen-year-old.” She snagged a hair tie off her wrist and began pulling her hair on top of her head.
“Fourteen?” I frowned. “That’s so young.”
“It just depends on how good they are,” Callie responded, spooning her grapefruit. “Reed’s been going out on stuff for a long time. There are others who go even younger than that.”
“But that’s different, isn’t it? This is an actual war. It’s not like they’re in New Colony territory. They went over to West America.”
“That’s true.” The other girl nodded eagerly. “I can’t wait until I get called up. I’ve been training like a mad woman. I need a real fight.”
I sighed and looked back at my buttered toast, picked up a piece, and plopped it into my mouth. It tasted like cardboard, but I made myself swallow. I took a big drink of water, trying to dissect the conversation in my mind. It seemed they were all eager to get in on the action. Nervous, of course, but more excited than anything. Did they know what they were really asking for? Fighting or not, this preparation wasn’t for an initiation test or a sparring round. This was war, and that meant to the death.
And I can’t change their minds, so don’t mess this up.
“What about you?” Callie asked. “Do you want to fight?”
“She’s not ready.” A guy piped in. He had shaggy blond hair around his ears and glasses. He shrugged from across the table. “No offense.”
“None taken,” I responded, though I was a bit put off. “Honestly, you’re right. I’m not ready for battle like that. Plus, I haven’t been initiated yet. I still have to pass two more tests.”
“Which ones?” Callie asked. “If you don’t mind me asking?” She blushed, but I got the feeling she liked to know the latest gossip.
“It’s okay. I passed the yellow. But I failed the blue and the purple,” I said, a little embarrassed. “Even though I can do a little bit with both. It wasn’t enough, apparently.”
Callie’s friend, who I hadn’t really met, smirked. “It’s harder than it looks, isn’t it?”
I bit my lip. You’re here to make friends, Jessa.
“It’s okay,” the boy said. “Nobody passes all five tests. And you only have to get three. Green and orange are pretty easy. You’ll do it.”
“Are they the same tests for everyone?”
“Sometimes,” Callie said. “Not always. But we can’t give you any hints. It’s against the rules,” she was quick to add.
I nodded, already knowing this to be true. The element of surprise was part of what made the tests difficult. “I’ll be fine with green,” I said. “I just haven’t used orange all that much.”
“Everybody can do orange. It’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”
I smiled at my new friend. She had caramel eyes, wiry blond hair, and thick glasses, but she pulled it off in an adorable smart-girl way. “Thanks.”
“I wonder when her next test will be,” Callie’s friend said to the other two at the table, basically ignoring me. Umm, hello? I’m sitting right here.
“What’s your name?” I asked the brazen girl in my friendliest tone.
“Tessa,” she said, turning on me.
“Hi, Tessa, I’m Jessa.” I laughed. Our names rhymed and something about that was funny. I guess she didn’t think so. I decided to be nice. “I’m wondering when my next test will be just as much as you are. Truth is, with this war stuff happening, I have no idea anymore.”
“Well, King Richard definitely wants you for something.”
I bristled. “What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged. “Just that you’re here because you have something he wants. So my guess is your initiation is going to happen sooner rather than later.”
The shaggy-haired boy nodded. “Yeah, Tessa is right. I’m Nate, by the way.” He reached out a hand across the table, and I shook it. “I wouldn’t say the same thing for most alchemists. Anyone else would probably have their tests postponed.”
Callie chimed in with a smile. “But you, my dear, are extra special.”
“Lucky me.”
“You should consider yourself lucky.” Tessa got up with a huff and strode away from our table. What was with that girl? I had been nothing but nice.
“Ignore her,” Nate said. “She’ll get over it.”
I realized something then. No matter how I acted or what I did, there would always be someone who didn’t like me. Maybe that was a fact of life. Stand for something, and people hate you. Stand for nothing, and hate yourself. Plus people would still hate you. I decided to take Nate’s advice and ignore Tessa’s behavior. It wasn’t my problem.
“I’m sorry, you guys,” I blurted. “This is hard for me. I didn’t grow up here, and I still have a family. I miss them so much. Don’t get me wrong, the magic is amazing, and I can see how it can help a lot of people. And I like doing it. But war? I didn’t sign up for that.”
“No one signs up for it.” Callie sighed.
“You’ll get used to it here,” Nate added.
I smiled. “Thanks. I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself.” I reached out a hand. “I’m Jessa.”
“I know.” He laughed, shaking the hair out of his eyes, but it just fell right back into place. He met my handshake with a firm one of his own. “Everyone knows who you are.”
“You really have a family?” Callie whispered. She pushed her plate away and leaned in. Part of me wanted to hold back, but making friends wasn’t about keeping secrets.
“Yes. It’s me, my mom, dad, and my little sister, Lacey. She’s only six. I really miss them.”
“You’re so lucky. I don’t remember my family. I’d give anything to even have one memory.”
“You can’t think about it, Callie,” Nate said.
“It’s not as easy as that.” Callie stared down at her plate.
“Nate might be onto something,” I said. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m doing everything I can to have some kind of connection with my family again. Let’s just say the king has…leverage. And I would never choose not to remember them. But I can see how you guys have the advantage.”
Maybe I said too much.
“You’re right,” Nate agreed. “The king doesn’t have as much leverage over us.” He blushed, cleared his throat, and got up from the table. “Forget I said that. I have to go.”
Callie stared after him. “That was weird.”
I shrugged. But actually, I didn’t find it that weird for Nate to question the king. Maybe he would join the Resistance? What was weird was all these talented people going along with everything Richard wanted. Couldn’t they see there had to be a better way? To see Nate behave that way signified that, perhaps, there were more people like me out ther
e. More alchemists who weren’t happy with the current state of things. And if that were true, maybe the Resistance really did stand a chance.
What was going on with Lucas? Was the boy I’d fallen in love with under the summer stars turning into his father’s son? I didn’t want to think like that, but I couldn’t help the questions from turning over and over in my mind.
When I’d met him, he’d taken me completely by surprise. I’d thought I knew who he was. That he was just what the media presented him as: a handsome, spoiled, playboy and duty-driven prince—nobody I wanted to know. But then he’d showed me someone completely different.
And now we weren’t even talking.
I pushed the remaining food around on my plate, lost in thought. He was clearly moving forward with his life. Forward in a completely different direction than what I wanted. It hurt to think about my future without him; the wound constantly reopened. When push came to shove, would Lucas stand with his father? Would I have to fight against the man I loved in order to save not only my family and countless others, but myself? Those were the questions that haunted me.
“Earth to Jessa?” Callie’s voice rang out. “Are you in there?”
I shook myself out of it and smiled. “Sorry.” We stood together and threw the rest of our meager breakfasts away.
The day continued—training, meals, whispered conversations, and anxious glances between the guardians. We all assumed the attack had happened and watched the newsfeeds on our slatebooks eagerly. But there was never any news.