Melanie cut through the heavy emotions that were weighing Erika down, finally giving voice to the question Erika had been playing around with in her head all day. “So, if you and Walker get together, which I have no doubt about by the way, where will you raise the little Reid? His place, or yours? You know Mr. Intense, he will demand you two tie the knot and start cohabitation A.S.A.P.”
Erika let the fantasy of a perfect happily-ever-after whisk her away. “Ideally, his place. He’s waterfront and has a big front and back yard. I’m minimum square footage, maybe triple the size of a postage stamp for outdoor space. He has that huge spare room that would be perfect for the baby, and he wouldn’t have to give up his office or man-cave. At my place, with the baby in my old office, there won’t be any room to spare. I was going to start looking for a new place when I hit town, but after talking to everyone and sharing texts with Walker, I decided to hold off a few days. I might be a tad too optimistic, but I’m tired of seeing the glass half-empty. It’s exhausting.
“I didn’t used to be that way, but ever since that night, I’ve become the most pessimistic person ever. Optimism scares the bleep put of me, but I can’t live with the negativity any more, it’s slowly killing me. I’ve finally gotten to a place that I can pick myself up and dust myself off if my hopes don’t pan out perfectly. But just seeing the glass half full has brought me more…”
Her words were cut off abruptly by the airbag, but her thoughts continued.
Walker.
Willow.
Sorry.
Nothing but a macabre soundtrack played with clarity, in slow motion. Glass shattering under pressure and raining down onto flesh and pavement. Metal groaning and screeching as it twisted under extreme force. Tires screaming along the blacktop as their momentum was halted by impact, again and again. Hissing and sputtering as pressure released from mangled engines. Moans and screams fading in as the chorus, as the other sounds descended from their crescendo.
Then…nothing.
A void.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
WEDNESDAY – PM
WALKER
Walker arrived at Erika’s early, he couldn’t help himself. He needed to see her, needed to touch her. Hell, who was he kidding, he needed a hell of a lot more than that, but he wouldn’t rush her. Walker promised himself he’d give her as much time as she needed, but if she would have him, he would take her as soon as she was legally free…to the courthouse. He wanted his daughter, and the woman he loved, to have his name.
Early or not, he willed himself to stay on his bike in the ally until five after. He needed the extra time to get a handle on his frayed nerves. Plus, he didn’t want Erika to feel pressured. As he fired up his bike and coasted up her drive, his heart stuttered at the sight of her place. He looked up at the front, wishing he had gotten to look at it that night like he wanted, because that would mean he had come home with her after the one and only time they made love. He wouldn’t have missed a minute of his little girl growing snug under her mama’s heart. Shaking off thoughts of what wasn’t to be, Walker felt a sense of unease.
Erika’s truck must still be in North Dakota, but there was a new SUV in the drive. He assumed that must be hers, but there was no answer when he rang. A note mocked him from its place, taped on the door, which wouldn’t make sense if she was home. Torn between invading her privacy and needing to know where she was, need won out and he pulled the note down.
Erika,
We waited until 5:45. Figured you and Mel are still shopping. Hit us up when you’re done & we’ll come back & help unload.
PS. Price has doubled, extra pepperoni & another sixer.
T & D
Walker didn’t have a clue who T and D were, but he knew something wasn’t right. Erika had obviously been gone since well before 5:45 p.m., when she was supposed to be back, according to T & D.
Reliable was Erika’s middle name. If she says she’s going to be somewhere at a certain time, you can damn well set your clock by it. Melanie was always late, but not Erika. Re-reading the note, Walker pushed his panic to the back of his mind as he reasoned. She was with Mel, and if Mel’s driving, they would be late everywhere, but…? The panic came back with a vengeance as he pieced together what he could. Erika would have called if she were running late, or texted.
Walker pulled his phone out and double checked for messages—none. Erika was not only late for him, but for T & D apparently. Nope, something was wrong. There was no way in hell she would flake on everyone. Maybe him, but, no, he wouldn’t think that way. She wouldn’t flake on him either. She said she loved him, that was enough to squash his doubt.
In Erika speak, they were practically engaged. She loved him, he loved her and they were going to be a family, of that he was fairly confident. Something was definitely fucking amiss. His heart was racing and his palms were sweating as he ran through the worst case scenarios in his head.
Fuck, he was going to go crazy if he didn’t know.
Walker called and texted Erika, but no response. He left her message after message.
Not accusatory, as the old Walker would have done, but messages of love and worry because she wasn’t here and he was convinced something sure as hell wasn’t right. He even went as far as to mention the baby and how much he wanted them to be a family, that he’d only just found out but loved her as much as he did her mom. After multiple messages, he realized it was time to start branching out and find his woman.
He called Mel’s number and it went straight to voice mail. Walker repeated that process five more times before he accepted she would not answer. Not bothering to leave a message for Mel as he had for Erika, he called the only other number he could reach, his mom.
“Hey, Mom, have you heard from Erika recently? She’s not home and there was a note from people she was supposed to meet earlier too but didn’t?”
“She texted me this morning to tell me all was well and that she was going shopping for some baby stuff. You know how we women are Son, we lose track of time when we shop, even more so when we are shopping for our babies. I wouldn’t worry overmuch, have you tried calling her?”
She tried to hide her concern, but Walker heard it loud and clear, it was the waver in her voice that was a dead giveaway. Everyone, even his mother, knew that punctuality and Erika went hand in hand.
“I called, Mom, many times and no answer. Even tried Mel, and it went straight to voice mail. Andy would be the person to call, but he’s still on his honeymoon cruise, so I can’t get a response from him either. Do you know where she planned to shop? Maybe I can take a ride around?”
“There are only two shops in town for baby stuff and both of those are on Sand Dollar out by the mall. One is on the same block and the other is about three miles past. Out by the pool place.”
“Okay, Mom, I’m going to drive by both of those and see, maybe she forgot about our dinner and they stopped to eat. I’ll check the whole stretch. If you hear from her, call me immediately please?”
“Of course I will, Son. You be careful and I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom, bye.” Pocketing his phone, Walker left his pack with the steaks and everything on the porch swing and hopped on his bike. He was possessed, a man on a mission. He would find the woman he loved and he would never let her out of his sight again. She would just have to deal with him being an overbearing ass, because he couldn’t live another minute of his life with this uncertainty gnawing at his guts.
Walker had checked both baby stores and every restaurant up and down Sand Dollar three fucking times. It was well into the next morning by now, all the stores and restaurants were closed and Erika and Mel were nowhere to be found.
Walker turned his bike toward home because he didn’t know where else to go, but he navigated to Erika’s place instead of his. He tried to tell himself that he didn’t expect her to be there, so he wouldn’t be disappointed when she wasn’t, but honestly, he kind of hoped she would be.
He made his way around
back and popped the patio door open. Walker didn’t give a shit what it might look like to break into her place or if he came off as so creepy stalker. Something was wrong, and he couldn’t just go to his place knowing that and pretend he was simply stood up. His mom had already called the police and the two local hospitals. Neither could, or would, do anything.
The police said she was an adult, so being gone overnight wasn’t a reason to panic, and the hospitals would only confirm her name wasn’t listed on the patient registry and nothing more.
Walker was almost brought to his knees as her scent hit him in the face when he opened the slider. Closing it and entering the house, he was struck with an overwhelming sense of peace. Being surround by her things was heavenly. Heavenly mixed with a hellish torment that is. Walker knew something had happened, his gut was telling him so. One thing he learned in prison was always, always, listen to your gut.
He went through her house looking for a clue, any hint he thought might help him. He got nothing. Not a single solitary thing that could help him find her anyway. Erika’s office choked him up. It was void of any furnishing and it smelled freshly scrubbed, but it was the notes pinned to the wall that got to him. She’d planned the baby’s room down to the last onesie.
Her and her damn lists, he thought.
She had them stuck to the wall where furniture would go, along with the reasons why.
One sign read “ROCKER” and had a note written underneath: Too much air for bed, but nice breeze for story time.
It was the list pinned to the back of the door that hit him the hardest. She had a sketch of his spare room with the same notes listed and optimum furniture placement. She was either planning two rooms for their daughter, or this one was temporary until they moved to his place. He prayed for the latter.
Walker found himself in her room staring down at her open journal. He felt like all kinds of a dick as he reached for it. Knowing there wasn’t a clue as to where she was and that reading it would be seen as a violation didn’t stop him. Erika’s pen was between the pages keeping them open, she must have been writing recently.
The left page was dated less than a week ago, the right today. Lifting the book, he smelled the pages. Perusing the left first, he felt Erika’s resolve as the words soaked into his brain.
1) Walker = Maybe he doesn’t know, maybe he does-not vengeful
⁃ Either way-doesn’t acknowledge baby-his choice?-not bitter.
2) Regardless of W feelings-family gets their own choice.
⁃ Call Mrs. Reid A.S.A.P. & Tori (after trip) & Melanie (for support).
⁃ If they want relationship with baby-move back-guard heart from W.
3) Andy-forgive-did right thing.
⁃ Call Mama Wellington together/explain - still Gma - get M&A hitched A.S.A.P.
“Baby” was scratched out in a different color ink and written above it was “Willow Erin.” His daughter had a name and it was sweet in his mouth as he said it aloud.
“Willow Erin Reid.”
Their middle names sounded the same when spoken and Willow Reid resonated with him, it was untamed and beautiful, like the willow reeds that grew along the edge of the lake.
When Walker was finally able to pull his eyes from her name, he read the page dated today. Another one of the lists his woman was crazy about making. He’d always loved them. She made one for each tattoo she got and every decision she faced. It was just her quirk and he fucking adored it.
1) Walker really doesn’t know about Willow. IDK how, but I believe he doesn’t
⁃ Give him the benefit of the doubt, operate as if he doesn’t know.
2) Apologize and take responsibility for my part, already forgiven his part.
3) Beg for his forgiveness and love. Share annulment papers & ask for the future I want.
⁃ Goal = Me, Walker & Willow = family.
4) Accept what he offers. Joint custody if he doesn’t want me.
⁃ Don’t guilt over his choice no matter how hard but make sure he knows he’s loved.
⁃ Explain Andy, Marco & Mrs. W’s place in Willows life.
⁃ Explain my place in A & M’s life & his if he chooses me too.
⁃ If joint custody, find realtor & go home shopping.
Walker’s hands trembled and he dropped the journal back to its home on her bedside table. She loved him and wanted him. It was all right there in black and white. Andy had followed through on the annulment. Erika was free to marry him as soon as the courts granted it, and by God, she would. There would be no joint custody, or realtors, or any of that other nonsense. She would be his, and he would be hers, and they would raise Willow together in his house.
Walker found himself back in the would-be nursery removing the sketch of his guest room from the back of the door. Rooting around in kitchen drawers until he found some pencils, he sat at the dining table and began to add his own touches to Willow’s room. It was a blank slate at this point, George had yet to finish the gutting, so as soon as he did, they could make the room anyway they wanted.
The most important feature he added were the people. He drew Erika in the glider by the window holding Willow in her arms and himself bending down and kissing her cheek. They looked like the perfect family and he would make that picture reality.
Just as soon as he found them.
The sun was on the rise. He tried her cell again and still no answer. He left only one message this time.
“Erika Juliet Pressman, I love you. Now and for all time. When I find you, I’m going to marry you. Me, you and Willow, along with any other kids you’re willing to give me, will live happily ever after. That’s a fucking promise woman.”
He ended the call and dialed Mel’s number. He wasn’t expecting a different result, so he was stunned when a female voice cautiously answered, “Hello?” Walker knew it wasn’t her, but at least it was somebody who might know where they were.
“Can I speak to Melanie, please?”
A hesitant, “May I ask whose calling?” was the response he received in a very uniquely-lisped voice.
“This is Walker. Walker Reid,” he added when his first name didn’t garner a response.
“And how do you know Melanie?”
Walker was starting to get pissed the hell off. What’s with the twenty questions?
“I’m a friend of hers, who is this? Where’s Melanie?”
“I’m sorry sir, I’m not at liberty…”
Walker had enough bullshit, he was done playing games. Did this woman not understand she was poking a fucking bear right now?
“I don’t fucking care what you can or can’t say, but my fiancé is with Melanie and I haven’t been able to find them all night. So either you tell me where the fuck she is or I send the cops your way for having her phone.”
“Sir, I’m not supposed to say anything, I could lose my job. I…”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about your job lady, all I care about is my very pregnant and missing fiancé.” It became obvious to Walker the woman was debating with herself over what to say or not say, but he was losing his shit. He’d just opened his mouth to speak, when a whisper shut it for him.
“I’m probably going to get fired, but I can’t sit back and say nothing. All I will say is that I’m a nurse at Ralston Trauma.”
With that, the connection ended and Walker stared at the screen while his brain processed the info as best he could.
How long had he sat there stunned and trying to get his head to understand what his ears had just heard? I’m a nurse at Ralston Trauma. I’m a nurse at Ralston Trauma. I’m a nurse at Ralston Trauma.
What the hell? After he’d told the lady about Erika, those were the words she’d said. I’m a nurse at Ralston Trauma.
Walker must’ve dialed his mother at some point, because her concerned voiced floated through the air as Walker’s emotions overwhelmed his sensibilities.
How long had she been screaming for his attention through the phone before she’d gott
en his father? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Walker didn’t know, the only thing he knew was pain. Pervasive pain. Complete and utter in it presence. His body, his mind, his heart, knew nothing else. His father’s booming voice sliced through the pain for a split second, long enough to tell his dad he’s at Erika’s. Both his mother and father’s voices disappeared. He wasn’t aware if they had ended the call or if the agony ripping through his being had usurped everything else, but either way, there was nothing but torment and anguish.
When his mom and dad let themselves into Erika’s place, Walker realized he must’ve unlocked the front door at some point, but was now sitting at the table staring at the drawing and his phone.
Awareness came back instantly and he leapt up, dragging his mom back toward the way she’d come. “Ralston Trauma, we have to go now and I’m in no condition to drive.” He stopped dragging his mother like a rag doll when his father blocked the exit and Walker slammed into his chest like he expected to walk right through him. Grabbing his son by the biceps, he gave him a shake.
“Snap out of it, Son. You’ll be of no use to anyone in this state, especially Erika. Take a breath and tell us what happened.”
Walker let his mom’s arm go and didn’t even notice how she rubbed her wrist to sooth the ache he’d caused. Crushing his dad in an embrace, which he hadn’t done since the day he went into prison, he let his misery flow out of him, a misery he couldn’t fathom before the moment the nurse spoke those words. I’m a nurse at Ralston Trauma. When he finally had access to his speech center, he spoke with a voice that sounded of razor blades and acid. “Can we please talk on the way, Dad? I don’t have the luxury of time.”
Frank Reid gave a curt nod and stepped aside, letting his son pass. He gently took his wife’s arm. “Are you okay dear?”
“If you mean my arm, it’s fine, but if you mean my heart, then no honey, I’m not. Look at him Frank, he’s lost. So lost. I’ve never seen him so, and the pain? It’s rolling off of him in waves. My baby boy is hurting so much and I can’t do a damn thing about it. If something’s happened to Erika or the baby you know we’re going to lose him, don’t you? He won’t come back from it, not this time.”
Indelible You (Imagine Ink) Page 19