Walker could just make an inquisitive grunt to that statement.
“Listen, I called a local firm of a friend of mine as soon as we docked. I am heading to my office to fax verifications now. A Mrs. Thompson will be at the hospital within the hour with everything you need to see your daughter. Also, you’ll be in charge of any and all decisions with regards to Erika’s care. These will be temporary as we are using a roundabout way of doing things, but as soon as Erika wakes, I’ll have papers for her to sign to make it all permanent. Okay? So just breathe easy. We’ll be there as soon as we can fuel the plane and take off. How are you holding up?”
That was it, he lost his shit and started blubbering like a baby, again. “Not good man, not good at all. Mel is gone and Erika doesn’t even have a clue. She’s out of it except to stir enough to think her daughter’s gone and scared I’ll blame her. She looks so fragile lying here man, like a broken doll.”
“Erika is anything but a doll, you know that. She’s a lot tougher than she looks. She’s survived shit that would make your ex-cell mate cringe, she’ll pull through this too.” Andy gritted out the last through what sounded like tears closing his throat.
Walker appreciated Andy’s take-charge attitude. That was an anomaly for him because he was usually the take-charge guy, but he just didn’t have it in him right now and was grateful someone did, for Erika and Willow’s sake.
“Thanks man, I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you. Shit, there’s nothing I’ve got that’s more valuable that what you’re helping me with. I’ll never be able to even this out, but I promise I’ll never stop trying.” Walker hated to be indebted to anyone for anything, a holdover from his days in prison, but he didn’t give a flying fuck if he owed Andy until the end of time, he needed what he needed and Andy was the one person who could give it to him. “How was the honeymoon man, besides the way it ended?”
“It was beautiful and don’t worry about repayment, you don’t own me a thing. I’ve received pre-payment with the trouble I’ve caused, not to mention all the future B.S. I’ll…we’ll,” he included Marco, “cause. Listen, car’s here so we are headed to the office, then the airport, we’ll see you later today. Chin up Walker, Erika will need you strong when she wakes. Later”
“Later.” Returning his phone to his pocket, Walker turned his attention back to Erika. Taking her hand in both of his, kissing it and muttering endearments, he must have fallen asleep on it because a beautiful redheaded woman woke him some time later.
***
“Walker Reid? Andrew Wellington sent me, I’m Mira Thompson from Reagan, Phi…”
Walker leapt from the chair like his ass was on fire and shook her hand rather enthusiastically before she could utter another word.
“Yes, Mrs. Thompson, I know who you are, Andy told me you’d be coming. Boy, am I glad to see you.” Walker was so excited he could barely contain himself. He would be able to hold his daughter today. Smell her sweet baby skin and touch her downy soft hair.
“Mira, please. I have all the papers you’ll need for temporary medical guardianship of Baby Girl Pressman, as well as…”
“Willow, Willow Erin Reid,” Walker interrupted.
“Yes sir, I know her name, but for legal purposes she is referred to as Baby Girl Pressman. Andrew has included papers to change that, but they must wait for Erika. For now, I will need you to sign these as soon as possible. I will notarize them and rush them over to the clerk when I leave here. That way, by COB today, you’ll have everything needed to make decisions on Erika’s behalf medically until she wakes and where Willow is concerned.
Mira produce a pen and Walker signed everything, in triplicate and she stamped each page. “Now,” looking at her watch, “I’ll be back in less than two hours with the official documents and I’ll drop a copy with hospital admin on my way up. If you’ll excuse me?” Mira collected her things and placed them back into her briefcase. She was on her phone speaking legalese before she was even out of the door to Erika’s room.
Walker returned to his post to sit vigil over Erika once more and began to tell her all the things that had happened and all the things he felt. He spoke of their future children and his daughter’s beauty, of Erika’s place in his life, and his overflowing love. He talked until his voice went hoarse, praying that she might hear one word, just one. If she did, it would be worth it.
Just as he’d taken a breath to end his latest dissertation of her many virtues, the subject of his words stirred. Moaning and sobbing in pain, she tried to rub her stomach again, like every other time, but Walker held her hand firmly in one of his while the other flew to her least-injured cheek to caress it and sweep away her tears. “Shush, shh baby. I’m here and I love you so much. I can’t wait for you to meet your daughter. She’s beautiful Erika. I haven’t seen her up close yet, but she has your eyes, but her daddy’s bald head.” It was a failed attempt at humor at best, but he was at an utter lose as to what to say with the very few moments he had before they came back in and drugged her up again.
“Walker?” Her voice was scratchy from disuse and dryness. Walker grabbed a cup and straw and put it to her parched lips, shushing her again, he begged her to drink, and she did. After a few sips, she slipped back to that dark and painful place in her head.
“I’m so sorry, for everything. Oh God, I can’t live with the pain. Willow…too early…the pain…blood…then nothing. No crying. Melanie. Sorry. Love. Much. Gone.” Erika’s sobs turned her phrases into words, disjointed at best, but Walker knew what she meant, what she thought. She thought her baby was dead. She thought he’d never forgive her. She was reliving what she could remember of the birth and the accident. If a heart could literally shatter into a million pieces inside a human chest, his would have for sure.
“Shush Erika. Look at me. Look at me, love.” When she turned her glassy, tear-soaked gaze toward him, he continued, “Willow is alive baby, and she is abso-fucking-lutely exquisite. So are you, and I love you more than life. When you heal, we’ll be a family. I promise. No apologies, no anger, just love. Do you hear me? We ARE a family, now and forever.”
“She’s…she’s ok?”
“More than okay, mama, she’s perfect.”
The tears flowed once again. “Oh Walker. Love you…much.” Erika’s strength was waning fast, but as she tried to lift her broken arm, she cried out in pain. Walker was shouting for the nurse, who was already on her way, must have been, because she entered before Walker got a syllable out.
She rushed in and injected something into Erika’s IV tube. Before the medicine took over, Erika turned to Walker and asked, “Mean it, family? You, me, Willow?”
The plea in her voice was outweighed only by the anticipation and hope there. “You bet E. I wouldn’t let you go for anything, so get better love, because Willow will need lots of brothers and sisters.” Erika sighed and feel asleep with a smile on her face looking pleased with his answer.
With that, his heart melted…into her.
The nurse who’d been his unexpected ally in this whole mess turned to him with a grin, “So, I guess congratulations are in order,” she said with a lisp, and then it hit him. He’d spoken to her every night since he’d been here, but his heart was too heavy and his thoughts too frazzled for his ears to work properly. Now, after what had transpired today, some of that weight was lifted, allowing his higher functions to return.
“You!” was all he said before he pounced on the lady in a classic nurse’s uniform. How she escaped his notice before, he’ll never know. She was a larger than life dark skinned, older woman in a crisp white dress with the kindest eyes he’d seen in whole hospital. That alone should have had him taking notice of her, but it didn’t, she blended into the background just like everything, and everyone else but Erika and Willow. Even though he’d heard her speak more than once, today was the first time he’d really listened to her voice.
She squeaked as he spun her around and kissed her right on the lips. “Oh my God, I didn’t
realize it was you. I should have known, but I just didn’t. You, I owe you everything. If not for you, I would still be looking. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Walker punctuated each word of gratitude by tightening his hold on the poor unsuspecting older woman and kissing her senseless.
“Put me down young man, this instant.” When Walker released his captive, she smoothed her uniform and re-pinned her hat, muttering something about messing up a woman’s hair and shooting him in the head, but she was grinning ear to ear the whole time.
“I don’t know who you think I am or what you’re talking about, but you’ve gone and confused me with someone else, Son.” Her southern accent became more pronounced the more she tried to deny that she was the nurse who answered Melanie’s phone. “I’m sure whoever you’re looking for is just grateful that you found your daughter and fiancé.”
Did she just wink?
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to make my rounds.” She patted him on the back and whispered a soft, almost inaudible “You’re welcome,” then disappeared into the hallway awash in fluorescent light, casting a halo effect around her, proclaiming her the angel she was, at least where he was concerned.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
WALKER
Thank God he was sitting down, or Walker would have dropped the most precious thing he’d ever held in his hands. When Nurse Hinton placed Willow in his arms for the first time, he nearly toppled over. The first thing he did was smell her. It was a weird way he related to the world, smelling things, but he had a driving need to inhale her sweet scent into his lungs and lock it into his mind.
Then terror struck.
Fear he’d break her or hurt her crippled him and he turned his pleading eyes to the woman in white who’d recently became his third-favorite person on the planet, just behind his “girls.”
Walker began to doubt if he had what it took to be a good dad. What if he made poor decisions? What if she hated him for what he’s done or would do? What if she was ashamed of him, for his past, for his ink? Walker had never, not even once, regretted a single needle puncture that decorated 95% of his body. No shame, no fear of rejection. If someone didn’t like his ink, fuck ‘em. He didn’t need ‘em in his life, but this was different.
For the first time ever, he worried that someone wouldn’t like them. He knew then, he was a goner. Walker Aaron Reid would change anything about himself if it made this cherished little person happy.
Nurse Hinton touched his shoulder with one hand and Willow’s downy head with the other and squatted down to be on eye level with him, commanding his attention with her look and his acceptance with her tone. “You listen and listen good, you hear? I know what you’re thinking, it’s written all over your face. You’re worried you’re not good enough, or that you’ll do the wrong things, am I right?”
Walker nodded once and returned his gaze back to the sleeping bundle in his arms. “Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit. Son, you ain’t no different from every other first time father that passes through here. Shoot, the mothers too, they all worry they’ll drop their babies on their precious little heads or that they’ll raise ‘em wrong or that they’ll somehow shame their youngins, but that’s just a bunch of bologna.” Removing her hand from the baby, she brought Walker’s attention back to her by lifting his face. The doubt lingered there and he knew she could see it. Finally, she cradled his cheeks with both her aged and gentle hands.
“Look at me,” Walker said, “I’m not the kind of father that she can ever be proud off. I’m an ex-con for Christ sake. I’m covered in tattoos, some not appropriate for her eyes, ever. I curse like a sailor and,” clearing the lump from his throat he continued, “I let her down before she was even born. Her mother too. I don’t deserve either one, but I’m such a selfish bastard, I’ll not give them a choice. What if she grows to hate me, I…”
“What if she grows to love you?” Nurse Hinton smiled softly as she let that sink in. “She will too. She’ll love you madly, and not in spite of all those things you just said, but because of them. Because those are the things that make you her father. Only one Father is perfect,” she cast her eyes skyward, “the rest are flawed, but that’s what makes them perfect to their little ones.” She dropped her hands back to their previous locals.
“She’ll need you, so will her mother. You know, He only gives these blessings to special parents. It’s not every family that gets chosen to care for a little one like her. Nope, she is miraculous, as she was meant to be, and you, as her parents, are too. Don’t change a thing about who you are, and you will be the perfect dad for her.” Nurse Hinton rose and leaned her back over her hands to ease the apparent stiffness that bending for a time had cause her.
As she turned to leave, she threw over her shoulder with humor, “Except that language of yours, Son, except that language. That, you can change and should.”
Walker was perhaps the farthest thing from a spiritual person there could be, but in those moments listening to Nurse Hinton, he felt connected to a higher power. It was indescribable, but he understood her and took her words to heart. There may not be perfect fathers, but there damn sure were perfect children because he was looking upon one’s sleeping face right now.
Before Nurse Hinton brought Willow to him, the doctor, a pediatrician Walker assumed, came to see him. He was a bespectacled man with disapproval written all over his face. He explained that the loss of blood from the placenta separating and the trauma to Erika caused Willow—of course the dick kept calling her the baby, no matter how often he corrected him—to be deprived of oxygen for an extended period of time. The lack of oxygen caused damage to her brain, but the extent was currently unknown and could be mild to moderate.
Walker wasn’t the moron people like this doctor took him for. He understood perfectly well what that meant and how it could affect his daughter. It was the doc’s attitude and choice of words that almost got Walker slapped with assault charges. It started before he even entered the room.
Walker overheard him speaking to his team of students about Willow as if she were less than human. The whole multitude of voices added their own insults.
“How is the little drain on society today, has her mom started teaching her to say ‘welfare’ yet?” one unseen student inquired.
“Did you see the father? I bet he has a cell named after him in county.”
“Yeah, he’ll leave the society princess high and dry and go back to his biker chick old lady as soon as he sees how much work this kid is going to be.”
“Quiet down, we aren’t here to concern ourselves with the next guests of Jerry Springer, we are here to explain the defects and damages suffered during birth. When speaking to parents such as these, we must use straight forward terms in order to relay the gravity of the situation. It’s imperative that the parents know the limitations of their child before leaving the hospital, so they can lower their expectations now, rather than later. Observe from the hallway, as I tell our Mensa member father that his daughter will never be quite right. I’ll try not to use big words.” This from the doctor.
When the doctor entered the room, the students loomed just outside the open door. A smirk still graced his wormy face because he thought he was oh-so-clever. The asshole acted like his beautiful angel was less than human because she wasn't perfect by his standards or that Walker was too fucking stupid to take care of his own kid. He was positive if the doctor hadn’t left when he did, he would’ve laid hands on him.
The asshole said things like flawed and not right. Not normal, damaged, high functioning. Never be like other girls, disordered, different.
Disordered? What the fuck does that even mean? Different? Of course she’s different, every kid is different and special regardless of how their mind works. Not normal? That’s just outright fucking insulting.
These thoughts were swimming around in his head. Walker wasn’t stupid, he knew what hypoxia meant and what going without oxygen as long as Willow had could do to a body and mi
nd. It was obvious he thought less of Walker because of what he saw on the surface, but it was just as obvious what he thought of children he deemed “not perfect.”
Why were people like this dick bag even doctors, pediatricians at that?
It took every ounce of control Walker possessed not to break the fucker’s jaw. His daughter was abso-fucking-lutely perfect just the way she was. Willow doesn’t need to be like anyone else to be priceless. This asshole acted like someone should take her out back and shoot her because she was “flawed” according to him. The only things that stayed his fists and spared this dick's life, were Erika asleep just feet away and knowing that if he went to prison, he would miss way too many firsts. The last thing Erika needed was to be awakened by the sounds of Walker getting arrested and hearing the insulting bullshit this man is spouting about her daughter. He also knew as soon as Andy arrived and heard this shit, he’d make this doctor pay for insulting his Goddaughter.
When he’d calmed himself enough to breathe, Walker finally spoke, his menacing tone hitting harder than his fists. “If I were you, Doc, I’d turn around and leave while I was still able to do so without the assistance of a trauma team and a stretcher. I understand the long-term implications of oxygen deprivation, but if you ever insult my daughter again by trying to label her as less-than, then the only label you’ll be concerned with will go on your toe. Are we clear?”
The doc’s skin paled visibly and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He nodded.
“And one more thing, from this moment on, she is removed from your care. She’ll have another doctor for the remainder of her stay. And tell the team outside, that you were right about one thing and one fucking thing only, I am actually a Mensa member.”
The doctor left on shaky legs. Walker turned, needing to touch Erika, to sooth his temper.
Indelible You (Imagine Ink) Page 21