by Night, H. T.
“It’s what happens when we turn back. It’s sweat.”
“I think I’m going to throw up.” I unlocked the cage door. I entered the cage and Tommy was still very much chained up. One by one, I unlocked his wrists and ankles and then his chest. When I got the last lock off, Tommy bolted past me and ran to the bathroom. I heard him do one of the longest streams of pee I have ever heard in my life. I swore it took three minutes. He came back into the room with a look of relief on his face.
“Tommy, my sister died two years ago. Who has helped you since then?”
Tommy paused and looked at me. “You don’t know her,” he said. “It was someone I trusted and cared about.”
“You have a lot of secrets don’t you?”
“I need my secrets; especially now that I’m flying solo.”
“You’ll never be solo, Tom.”
“We’ll see.” Tommy had a familiarity behind his eyes I hadn’t noticed before. “So, how did it go?”
“Do you remember anything?”
Tommy just stared straight ahead. He didn’t say anything.
“Tommy,” I said waving my hand in his face. “Do you remember anything?”
“Josiah, I need to wrap my head around all of this. Let me get some sleep and we’ll talk when I get up.”
“Okay,” I said. I would have liked an immediate answer, but whatever floated his boat.
Tommy walked past me and went upstairs to his bedroom. That was weird. Then again, why would I expect anything less?
* * *
I went into the guest room where I had been sleeping for the last two weeks. There were no windows in the room, so there was zero chance for any kind of sunlight to get in.
I laid down and fell into a deep, peaceful slumber. I opened my eyes and it was exactly five hours later. I felt refreshed. I got up and decided to go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. I was pretty dehydrated after a very bizarre night.
I noticed in the kitchen there was a Styrofoam cup that had some dried blood still in it. I dipped my finger in the cup and scraped out the remainder of the blood with my fingernail. I raised my finger to my nose—smelt the dry blood—then tasted it. I had to admit, the smell was intoxicating. I licked my finger and it tasted okay. Probably a lot better warm. I liked the taste of strawberry jelly better.
I decided to go take a shower. I peeled off my clothes and walked to the bathroom naked. I felt alive and free being naked. I wonder what it feels like to fly naked. That was definitely something I needed to try.
For now, I was going to take the longest shower known to man. The water was hot as it poured down my body. I closed my eyes and thought about the night before. I was acting on instinct. Or was I? About every five minutes, I made the shower hotter and hotter. The hotter it got, the more soothed I felt. I loved every minute I stood underneath the water; it was like having a masseuse applying pressure on my body. When I was done, I put on a pair of jeans and a black tank top.
I walked upstairs and into Tommy’s bedroom. I knocked at the door. “Tom,” I called out.
“Yeah,” Tommy yelled from inside his room.
“You up?”
“I am now!” He moaned like a teenager.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure, if you want to see me in all my glory.”
“Put some boxers on, weirdo!”
“Come in, Josiah, I’m kidding.”
I opened the door slowly to see if he actually was kidding. I wouldn’t put it past him to just be laying there in his best Playgirl pose. He had his boxers on and was sitting up.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
“I’m a little amped up—and a little exhausted. You know a little bit country—a little bit rock and roll.”
I grinned and sat at the foot of his bed. “So, tell me, do you remember anything?”
“I do remember some of it. I remember seeing you. I remember hearing your voice. But I can’t remember details.”
“Really?” I said disappointed.
“I usually never remember anything.”
“I was hoping you would remember our questions.”
“You asked me questions?”
“Yes, and you answered them with feeling. You were connected.”
“Was I connected from the get-go?”
“No, not at all. You howled and screamed at me for ninety minutes. You finally wore out. That was when I started to train you. You were no longer this ferocious wild animal. You were almost kind.”
“You’re fucking with me, right? Kind?”
“Tommy, I’m not. For a good two hours you submitted to me.”
“Really?” Tommy seemed shocked.
“Close your eyes and try to remember. It’s in your memory bank. You and the wolf are one and the same.”
Tommy closed his eyes. “Okay, tell me something we did.”
“I was asking you questions. I asked you to raise your right paw for ‘no’, and your left paw for ‘yes.’”
Tommy appeared flustered.
“I asked you if I had beaten you in our mixed martial match.”
Tommy strained his eyes. He was really trying to remember. “I answered no?” Tommy was a bit uncertain.
“Yes, you did. Do you remember that?”
Tommy smiled. “Maybe.” Tommy paused and then said, “You asked me about five or six questions?”
“Yes,” I said. “Tommy, that’s good. Okay, there was one question really bothered you. Do you remember what I asked you?”
Tommy closed his eyes. “I was calm.”
“Yes, you were.”
“I felt secure with you.”
“Okay. Keep going, Tom. Concentrate.”
Tommy suddenly opened his eyes. “You asked me if I.... if we.....if you and I were best friends.”
“Yes, Tommy!”
“I answered yes!”
“Now, what was the question that bothered you the most?”
“You asked me if I had been rejected by the Carni and that angered me!”
“Yes, it did!”
“I remember, Josiah. I remember all of it.”
Tommy and I both jumped up and down on his bed like a couple of six year olds.
“It’s working, Tommy!” I said, as we stopped jumping.
Tommy hopped off his bed and landed on the wood floor, shaking the entire house. “This is amazing, Josiah, I actually have specific memories about last night. That has never happened before.” Tommy stopped and looked at himself in the mirror over his dresser. He began flexing. He was really feeling it. “What’s next?” he asked.
“We’re not having a pose off, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”
“Be thankful, Josiah. You want none of this.” Tommy looked down at his reasonably chiseled body. Tommy had a lot more mass than me, but was solid as a rock.
“You’re exactly right, Tommy,” I laughed. “I don’t want any of that,” referring to his body. I enjoyed the camaraderie, but I needed to get serious. “Tonight, I am going in the cage with you. I’m going to try touching.”
“Touching? Just keep your hands above the waist.”
“Very funny. We will go through the details about an hour before you turn into a werewolf again. That seemed to really work last night. We need to go with what’s working. There isn’t a Taming a Werewolf for Dummies book out there.”
“What we’re doing, Josiah, is pretty fucking groundbreaking.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. You should get more rest. I’m going to call Lena.” I nodded and went downstairs and collapsed on the couch. I took my cell phone out of my pocket and turned it on. I had turned it off last night so I wouldn’t have any distractions. When my phone turned on; it read that I had three new voice mails. I pressed the number one on my keypad and it went straight to my voicemail. The first two messages were hang ups, but last one was Lena.
She said, “Hey Josiah, what happened last night? Did it work? I hope it did.” She paused on the me
ssage and then said, “I just was hoping to hear your voice.” She wanted to hear my voice? I wanted to hear hers, too, and didn’t hesitate to call her back.
She answered on the first ring. “Hello,” she said.
“Hey, it’s Josiah.”
“Hey.”
“Hey,” I said again. This was starting out a bit awkward.
“How’s Tommy?” she interjected quickly.
“He’s great. We made a lot of progress last night. I think this might just work.”
“That’s awesome!” Lena seemed genuinely excited. “Josiah?” Lena said, with yearning in her voice.
“Yes,” I said.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m great, Lena.”
“That’s good to hear.” Lena paused. “Josiah?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” I said.
“You do?” she asked with a bit of vulnerability I hadn’t heard from her before.
“Yes, I miss you more than you know,” I assured her.
“This is so weird isn’t it?” Lena laughed sweetly.
“I don’t remember what’s normal anymore.”
“I know,” Lena said.
I wanted to say more to her. I wanted to tell her every beautiful thought I felt for her, but I didn’t know how to cross that line further, so I just said, “I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“Okay, be careful, Josiah.”
“I will.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” I waited for her to hang up. I didn’t hear her hang up. Instead, I could still hear her breathing. I waited about fifteen seconds and then I said, “Lena?”
“Yes, Josiah.”
“Forever...” I stopped talking. I don’t know why I said that word out loud. Forever.
Lena was quiet and then said, “... and Always.” She completed my thought.
We were both quiet. We didn’t need to say anymore. We were connected by something bigger than this world. I knew she was my destiny. Eventually, after a minute of very comfortable, loving silence—we both said goodbye. That was exactly what I needed to light a fire under my ass.
I leaned back and laid flat on the couch. I thought about Lena; her amazing brown eyes, her beautiful smile, her pale skin, her angelic face. I thought about how amazing she felt the other day in my arms. I closed my eyes and I thought of nothing but her.
Chapter Thirteen
Night was coming and Tommy had gone into his cage to chain himself in again. I stood outside the cage and looked at my friend like a trainer before a big fight. We both knew the stakes were high tonight, and it was going make or break us. We had 45 minutes until show time.
“Okay, Tommy, I’m going to enter the cage at some point tonight.” I said from outside the cage. “I’m going to touch your face. You will need to submit to me first verbally, then physically.
Tommy smiled. “Just keep it G-rated, Josiah.”
I smiled. “All right, no more jokes, Tom. We need to get serious.”
“Yes, sir!” Tommy gave me the military salute. “Let’s do this Josiah, I’m ready.”
I started to once again give Tommy verbal commands like I had done the day before. Tommy seemed more eager to listen and do what I had asked than the day before.
When I finished with the verbal commands I said, “Let’s move on to the tactile. I am coming into the cage. Do not attack! Keep your head down!” I knew Tommy wasn’t going to attack me in his Carni form, but I was paving his sense memory for tonight.
Tommy nodded.
I opened the gate and entered imagining Tommy was a werewolf, proceeding cautiously. Each time Tommy tried to raise his head, I commanded him to put his head down. I inched my way to Tommy and stood over him in an alpha male stance. I took my right hand and put it on top of his head. “Keep your head down!” I commanded him. I then gently touched the top of his head. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a stick of beef jerky. “Head up!” I said firmly.
Tommy raised his head; I fed him the beef jerky.
“Eat!” I said.
Tommy chewed the beef jerky.
I held my position like a boxer. “Good boy,” I said. “Eyes down.” I slowly knelt down and cupped my left hand placing it on his head. As I did so, I gently petted Tommy’s human hair back. “Good boy,” I said.
I spent about ten more minutes petting him and talking to him softly. When we were done, I left the cage.
“Tommy,” I said.
“Yeah, Josiah.”
“Good job.”
“You, too.”
We both smirked and knew we were walking a fine line. We were treading in waters that were very unfamiliar.
“You have about fifteen more minutes,” I said.
I left the room and decided to wait outside on this night as Tommy turned into his werewolf state. A few minutes passed and the sun was completely down. The sounds in the other room had led me to believe Tommy had turned werewolf—lots of howling and growling.
Then just like the night before, the poor wolf began to whimper into the night. I had forgotten to ask him about that today. His whimpering then became full-blown howling. Again, it was very heartbreaking to hear. I had no idea what part of this process was making a werewolf cry out. I wasn’t sure if it was a Carni deal or a Tommy situation. Nonetheless, it was one of the worst sounds I’d ever heard.
I stood by the door, while this went on for about two hours. Tommy had once again exhausted himself from howling and dropped to the floor and slept.
Tonight, I decided to come in and watch him sleep. I looked at the spectacular, gray wolf asleep on the ground of the cage like any ordinary house dog. This wasn’t a house dog. He was gigantic and very powerful looking. Tommy was six feet in length and built like a pit bull. This beast looked as if it could kill a bear in seconds. His teeth were thick and long, and his claws were the size of no. 2 pencils.
I sat there staring and studying Tommy for what felt like a long period of time. At times he was restless; at times he seemed peaceful. I knew I needed to take this bond to the next level. I hoped we were ready.
* * *
I slipped out of the room as Tommy began to wake up. I wanted to start the night doing the audible commands outside the door to hopefully keep Tommy from going as ballistic as he done the night before at the sight of me. I was counting on him recognizing my voice, and having a mental connection. It would be then that I would enter the room.
Tommy was growling and pulling at his chains. The chains were dragging and scraping on the ground. I took a deep breath. I called out, “Tommy!”
I heard the werewolf stop in his tracks. No sound, no snarls, nothing. “Sit boy!” I yelled from outside the door. I heard him pace for a few seconds. I repeated loudly, “Sit! Then it happened. I heard a flop sound. He sat. I then proceeded to give him the same basic verbal commands that I had done the day before. When I felt he trusted me, I entered the room.
This magnificent, giant werewolf was sitting and staring at me as if he was a lap dog waiting for a treat. I rewarded him and threw some beef jerky in the cage. Tommy caught it in his mouth then dropped it to the ground and sniffed it. He licked the jerky a couple of times and then decided to devour it like it was a Twinkie.
When he had finished his snack, I began running through more verbal commands with him. We did this for nearly an hour. There was a lot of trust and interaction between us. I decided to ask Tommy some questions that could lead us to a tactile situation.
“Tommy, if you trust me, speak!” I called out. Tommy yelped. Tommy’s yelp did not sound like a typical bark. It was a high-pitched growl. It was a tone that demonstrated obedience and dominance in the same melodic tone.
“Tommy,” I said. “Will you attack me if I came in the cage? Raise your right paw for ‘no’, and your left paw for ‘yes.”
Tommy stared at me, and calmly raised his right paw. That was a ‘no.’
“Do
you promise, Tommy? Do you promise on the love you have for my sister that you will not harm me in any way if I enter the cage?”
Tommy raised his left paw. That meant he promised.
He was letting me know it was okay to come in. I didn’t know how smart this creature actually was. Could he lie and manipulate me? Was he capable of tricking me into entering the cage and then attacking me? He hadn’t shown any signs of deceit up till now. He had been 100 percent loyal. I had to trust him. This was my turn to believe in him.
“Tommy, would you like for me to come and see you inside the cage?” I asked.
Tommy raised his left paw. Yes.
Okay, this was it. I was going to go in. He was either going to attack me or allow me to sit with him. I had to trust my gut instinct. I believed him. I was certain he wouldn’t hurt me.
I took out the key out of my pocket and unlocked the gate and opened it. I cautiously stepped in and leaned my backup against the front of the cage. Tommy was in the back. There was enough length that he could at the least bite off a toe if he was aiming to attack.
“Sit! Tommy!” My voice had both command and love in its delivery.
Tommy panted and then sat. Thank God!
“Tommy,” I said. “May I approach you?”
Tommy panted like a dog happy to see his master after a long day. He confirmed by raising his left paw.
“Tommy, I am going to walk up to you and I’m going to pet your head.”
I took a big exhale and looked at this spectacular creature in his fierce yellow eyes. He didn’t have a drop of fear or uncertainty. He trusted me, and I couldn’t help but feel a powerful bond developing between us. It was different than the connection Tommy and I had in our human form.
I walked up to Tommy and slowly petted his head. Tommy liked being petted. I petted his back, and his face. I knelt down and massaged his forehead in a rhythmic motion. Tommy tilted his head and opened his mouth. His long sharp teeth were exposed. My first reaction was to jump, but I froze instead.
I stared down at the wolf’s gigantic jaw. His mouth was wide open and I was unsure what would happen next. I could see him salivating. I wasn’t sure if he was going to bite, but I remained calm. Then his long tongue came out of his mouth and he began licking my hand. Not in a way that he was preparing to devour it, but in a loving way that told me he was pleased that I was there.