No More Good

by Angela Winters

  “It’s silly,” Avery said. “How could I not laugh?”

  “One Jackson sister down.” Nina air-fisted a gesture of victory. “One to go.”

  Avery stopped laughing as she felt her baby kick again. Maybe she or he was upset that Avery woke him up.

  “I’m sorry,” Avery said, as she rubbed her belly. “I’ll try to keep it down.”

  “It’s a shame, isn’t it?” Janet wasn’t so sure what to make of Avery’s expression when she saw her. Fear? Surprise? A little of both maybe. “They just take over your life with no apologies.”

  “What’s the matter, dear?” Janet looked down at Avery’s hands covering her belly. “You look as if you’re afraid I’ll try to take her.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Although she removed her hands immediately, Avery didn’t appreciate the joke.

  Janet found a bench across from an abstract painting and sat down. “Bad choice of words. I apologize. Come sit, dear.”

  “What are you doing here?” Avery stayed right where she was.

  Janet surveyed the gallery. “I’ve never been here. I don’t really come around this part of town. It’s actually quite lovely. Maybe I could hold an opening here. You know, for your father or something.”

  “My father doesn’t need money,” Avery said. “The police association is doing everything for him.”

  “How is Chief Jackson?”

  “As good as can be expected,” Avery answered, still waiting for the shoe to drop. “He’s going to make it.”

  “Of course he is,” Janet said. “He’s a strong man and has the most wonderful support. I hope this isn’t putting too much stress on you in your condition.”

  “I’m fine,” Avery said too quickly to sound natural.

  Janet couldn’t take her eyes off Avery’s belly, trying to accept the truth. “You know, I carried very small with Carter.”

  Hadn’t Janet been in on stealing her medical records? She had to be, so what was this about? “I know where you’re going, Janet. This is not—”

  “I know,” Janet said. “I guess it’s wishful thinking on my part. Most women are very small their first baby. You look wonderful, by the way.”

  “Thank you,” Avery said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come to Haley’s birthday party.”

  “Of course it’s probably best you didn’t. I just hope that your relationship with Carter doesn’t mean I can never see you.”

  “That all depends on how Carter behaves, Janet.”

  Janet smiled. “You know he’s changed, Avery.”

  “I’m married, Janet.”

  “Were we only friends because you were with my son?” Janet asked, showing just the right emotion to pull Avery in.

  “No.” Avery joined her on the bench, feeling guilty for being so cold. This, even though she knew Janet Chase wouldn’t consider her worth knowing if it hadn’t been for Carter’s interest in her. “But you have to understand, I have too much on my plate right now to . . .”

  “Deal with my crazy family,” Janet said. “Don’t worry, Avery. I know why you ran away. Carter broke your heart and he wasn’t going to leave you alone. Chase men don’t understand no. They think everything they want is theirs just because they want it. Carter is so competitive. He always has to win.”

  “I needed a break from my life,” Avery said. “I know what I did wasn’t the most mature way to handle things, but I just needed to get away.”

  “You just turned him around so much,” Janet said. “And not on purpose, I know. Just being yourself you challenged him more than any woman ever had. You made him crazy.”

  Avery didn’t want to hear this. Carter had given her this line before. He wanted her to believe his love for her was somehow to blame for the crazy things he’d done.

  “We would have been celebrating a wedding in June instead of . . .” Janet lowered her head to her hands as they lay flat on her lap. “It would have been so wonderful.”

  Avery was wringing her hands together now, anything to keep from touching Janet. Part of her feared that if she did touch her, Janet’s emotions might spread. “It wasn’t meant to be.”

  Janet turned to her. “But it would have been great, wouldn’t it? You two loved each other so much. You would have been so good for our family. You’re like Leigh in that sense, Avery. Your life with Carter would have been—”

  “Please.” Avery stood up, turning away. The emotion had come so quickly it frightened her. “Janet, please stop.”

  Janet knew what she was doing was wrong, but she had to do what was best for her children and her family. The only thing that was going to get Carter back in line was having Avery back in his life. And there was just a part of her, the mother inside her, that didn’t believe the medical records.

  “I’m sorry, dear.” Janet stood up. “I should leave. I just hope you’ll consider seeing me sometime. Carter doesn’t have to be involved. He doesn’t even have to know.”

  Janet was gone for less than a minute before Anthony showed up. When his hands took a gentle hold of her arms, she jumped before looking up at him. In her heart, she thought herself the worst person in the world because she had expected to see Carter. Maybe even wanted to see him?

  “I saw her leaving,” Anthony said. “What did she say? Did she threaten you?”

  “No.” Avery couldn’t tell him she was crying because it hurt to think of all she lost with Carter. “She just . . .”

  Anthony’s understanding of her situation was so beyond what Avery could have expected in any man. She could tell he was strong and gentle from the moment she met him, but hadn’t thought once of anything more. Carter still owned her heart even if she was determined to stay away from him. But Anthony was persistent and found a way into her good graces. He talked to fill up her silence, listened when she felt the urge to talk about anything, and most of all, he made her laugh and forget.

  He was intelligent and aware of the world. He filled a room up with energy when he talked about the satisfaction he got from teaching. He reminded her of the values she was brought up on. He reminded her of the beauty of a simple, but meaningful life.

  When she found herself caring for him, Avery wanted to push away. She hadn’t thought she could bother to care for anyone but her baby. Besides, it was so soon and she had made that mistake with Carter. But Anthony wouldn’t budge. Not even after she told him the truth. He only seemed to be more understanding, more patient.

  He offered her security and stability at a time when she needed it the most. He offered her love knowing that she couldn’t offer it back yet. He offered her warmth in his arms and satisfied the urges her pregnant hormones had. No, he wasn’t the most exciting man in the world, mind-blowing in the way that Carter was, but he was safe and he was good. That was what she needed.

  And he didn’t deserve to be told, after all he’d done for her, that she was still aching over her lost love with Carter.

  “It’s nothing.” Avery wiped her tears. “You know how emotional I get these days. I’m just so glad you’re here.”

  Anthony smiled that now familiar smile that reassured her he would always be there to hold her in his arms. “Let’s go back to the hotel, baby. You need some rest.”

  Kimberly rushed past the host toward the table he was leading her to. “Don’t you dare,” she said to Avery, who was trying to stand up. They hugged each other tight and kissed on the cheeks. This was the only joy Kimberly had experienced in weeks.

  “Look at you!” Kimberly took the seat across from her. “You look . . .”

  “Big,” Avery said, laughing.

  She had been a little apprehensive about meeting Kimberly after such an emotional encounter with Janet, but forgot why the second she saw her. The two had grown so close in such a short time and Avery missed her more than anyone in the Chase family; anyone except Carter of course.

  Usually blindingly gorgeous, Kimberly looked a little tired and somewhat older than her twenty-seven years. Something had
changed since the last time they’d seen each other more than six months ago. She was still one of the most beautiful women Avery had ever seen, but she wasn’t her fabulous self right now.

  “Not really,” Kimberly said after a quick study. “You’re carrying just in the stomach. Good for you.”

  “Mama says that I’ll blow up over the next few months.” Avery didn’t want to think of being gigantically pregnant during a hot L.A. summer.

  “If you’re six months along and haven’t—”

  “Five,” Avery corrected quickly, her smile fading.

  Kimberly caught herself, remembering Michael’s update. “Sorry. I forgot. Congratulations on your family. You’re a lucky girl. Most women can’t find a good man to take them to dinner. You get three who want to marry you in consecutive years.”

  “That’s not something I’m proud of,” Avery said. “But Anthony and I are very happy and we’re excited about the baby.”

  “Boy or girl?”

  Avery shrugged. “I’m hoping for a girl, though. I think Anthony would like a boy.”

  “They all want boys, but when they hold that little angel in their arms, they melt like butter.” Kimberly quickly told the waiter her drink order and he was gone.

  As Avery was glancing down at the menu, Kimberly stole a real look at her. She looked more than just pregnant. She looked tired and unhappy. Kimberly had no understanding of the kind of father-daughter love Avery shared with Charlie Jackson, but she imagined there was probably no soothing her right now.

  “I’ll just get the big salad,” Avery said. Placing the menu down, she looked up and noticed Kimberly was staring at her with an odd look on her face. Paranoia made her think she was here to spy, but Avery tried to quell that thought. “What is it?”

  “Are you . . . happy, Avery?”

  Avery swallowed hard, but kept her head up. “Considering the circumstances.”

  “I mean in your marriage. You don’t seem to me to be the type that would get married so soon after . . .”

  “Actually, my history says I’m exactly the type.” Avery looked out the window. “I jumped into Carter too soon and then . . . But Anthony is different than Alex or Carter.”

  “In a good way, I assume.”

  “Of course. What do you think I meant?” From Kimberly’s expression, Avery realized she sounded defensive. “I mean, yes. He is the one I married.”

  “I just remembered you being so in love with Carter. You know, it’s like . . . he’s Carter Chase. You said that most men just pale in comparison to . . .”

  “Anthony doesn’t,” Avery said. “He’s a great guy and . . . Carter broke my heart, so it wasn’t as if I was looking for someone like him.”

  “But you had to run away to get over him?” Kimberly asked.

  The waiter came and took their lunch orders.

  “I mean,” she continued, “all the talk about how great the sex was, the trips, the jewelry, everything you loved. That doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a girl moves on from in one month.”

  “It wasn’t that simple,” Avery said.

  “Then tell me how complicated it was.” Kimberly noticed Avery’s skeptical expression. “No, I’m not here to tell Carter anything. He wanted me to, but . . .”

  “What did he say?” Avery leaned forward.

  “He just wants to know all about that husband of yours. You can imagine how he feels about him.”

  “I thought he knew everything already. He found out the Chase way.”

  Kimberly sighed. “Ah, yeah, the Chase family and private investigators. It isn’t so odd, you know. They just do what other rich people do.”

  “I learned that the hard way,” Avery said. “When you go back home, tell him to stay away from me and my husband.”

  “Avery, he’s had it so bad,” Kimberly said. “You don’t even know. The women and the drinking.”

  “I don’t want to hear this, Kimberly.”

  “He sleeps with anything he can get his hands on. We’re talking Carter here, a man who is the snobbiest of the snobs. He used to be so selective. Most women don’t even touch his radar, but these last six months, all you have to have is a vagina and a pretty face. And most of the time, the flavor of the day bears such an uncanny resemblance to you, it kind of freaks me out.”

  “Kimberly,” Avery begged. “Can we talk about something other than Carter?”

  “It’s just crazy the way the two of you have handled getting over each other. You get married to the first guy you meet and he sleeps with every woman he can.”

  Avery was about to threaten to leave if she didn’t stop, but she didn’t have Kimberly’s attention anymore. Kimberly had turned several shades lighter upon seeing something or someone who had just come in the front door. Avery strained to see who it was, but only saw the hostess guiding a young girl to the bar. The girl looked a little out of place for this type of restaurant, but otherwise harmless.

  That was before she turned around and made direct eye contact with Kimberly. She hadn’t hesitated or looked anywhere else, and the expression on her face was cold and comical at the same time. Something was very wrong.

  “Who is that?” Avery asked.

  Turning away, Kimberly suddenly felt ill as she reached for her drink. She couldn’t escape this torment for even one hour.

  “Kimberly?” Avery noticed how shaky Kimberly’s hands were as she brought the glass of wine to her lips. “What’s going on?”

  Kimberly wished she could tell Avery the truth, but it wasn’t possible. As much as she hoped to reconnect with her friend, she knew she was completely alone.

  Avery slid her chair around the circular table until she was right next to Kimberly. “Who is that girl and why are you so upset?”

  “She’s no one,” Kimberly said. She was digging her nails into her palms to keep from completely losing it. She had to come up with a lie fast. “She’s just some woman I think Michael has . . .”

  “Oh no.” Avery looked at the girl again, who was flirting with the bartender. “Are you sure?”

  “You don’t know how it’s been since you left, Avery. Everything has changed. Michael doesn’t love me like he used to.”

  “You’re going through a rough time,” Avery said. “What you did was wrong. He was very angry and you know how much he values Steven’s approval. But he’s still your husband.”

  “I didn’t know Steven was the reason he was being a good husband.”

  Avery felt the added guilt of having deserted Kimberly to face the family alone when it was Kimberly’s warnings that made Avery aware that going against any Chase was a losing battle.

  “He was never the perfect husband, but all this time . . . it was all show for Steven. Since we left that house, he comes home whenever he wants to. He leaves me behind to go show off for Daddy. I’m going to lose him.”

  Avery didn’t believe in sticking with an unfaithful man. It was why she left Alex and why she would leave any man who cheated on her. But she wasn’t naive enough not to know this wasn’t the truth for every woman.

  “Have you confronted him about . . . her?”

  Kimberly shook her head. “She doesn’t mean anything. It’s everything else. My life is so . . . I can’t make up for what I’ve done. Janet wouldn’t let me if I tried. Everyone hates me and if I mess up one more time, he’ll leave me, Avery. You have to help me. You have to.”

  “What can I do?” The last thing Avery needed was to get more involved with the Chase family, but seeing the desperation in Kimberly’s eyes gave her no choice. She could say that she hoped she wouldn’t regret it, but Avery knew better. She would totally regret it.

  “So did I deliver?” Lyndon asked, leaning forward.

  Leigh knew it was wrong, but she had to laugh. She could see his face contort into some form of embarrassment and uncertainty and it was interesting to her. This great movie star with an ego to match was way too eager.

  He’d invited her to his house for dinner and
she agreed only if he would promise to make it himself and not cater it. There was a long pause over the phone and Leigh got the impression he’d already had the caterer of choice in mind. Eventually he agreed and promised she would enjoy herself.

  Over steak carpaccio with red wine risotto and asparagus, they talked about his upcoming projects, the ruthless world of agents and producers, her year in Africa working with HIV/AIDS patients, her life of cotillions and charity balls, a house he’d just purchased in London only two blocks from Sean Combs’s house and anything else they could think of.

  They ate in the dining room, where Lyndon admitted to have eaten in only twice in the year and a half he’d been living in the house. Throughout the evening, he kept asking if everything tasted okay, was she happy, did she need more wine or more anything else?

  Finally, Leigh placed her hand over his on the table and said, “Lyndon, please stop. I’m having a great time.”

  He slid his chair toward hers so their knees were touching. “It’s been a long time since . . . I’m used to showing off. You know, the money, the cars, VIP seats at the hottest restaurant or club. A quick trip to Fiji or the hottest caterers with the most exotic menus for a quiet dinner is how I impress women.”

  “There’s no such thing as a quick trip to Fiji,” Leigh said, smiling. “But I get your point. Trust me, just you is more than enough to make an evening.”

  “Money doesn’t impress you,” he said. “You’ve had it all your life. Fame too.”

  “The fame part I’m not crazy about. I didn’t want it.”

  “But you handle it well.” He leaned back. “This is L.A. There is no shortage of heiresses floating around acting nuts. They’re all the same, but you . . . you’re really something. You carry yourself with class and it’s so natural, not forced.”

  “Years of etiquette training,” Leigh said, unable to hide how flattered she was. “My mother comes from several generations of ‘ladies.’ I was reading Emily Post at age nine.”