I sighed. I had promised to be responsible. I didn’t want to leave the thing half-finished—or worse, let it fail without me—but I’d do no good if I collapsed. “My apologies as well, Glabri. I have … an illness … and I can’t stay long in the dreamland. I’ll have to let the elders take over. Unless you’d be willing to come back with us, and continue our discussion there even if you don’t want to speak with Nnnnnn-gt-vvv?”
He snorted again. “Better here—no clutch-thieves. I’ll talk to scaled lords.” He wiggled his fingers impatiently at the staring ghouls above us, and they laughed and returned to their work, tearing out Nnnnnn-gt-vvv’s hope.
“All right. Thank you.” Perhaps when I got back I could convince Nnnnnn-gt-vvv to offer an initial concession, a show of good faith that would convince the ghouls to be more cooperative.
I released my hold on the dreamland and cast myself back toward my body—or tried to. Instead I gasped and stumbled. There’s a moment, exhausted and drifting at day’s end, when you seem to fall suddenly onto your bed, jarred awake by sleep’s approach. So I fell now. I—my image of myself, created by my mind in shadowed imitation of its sustaining form—lay on my imagined belly in the dream-dirt, aware at my core that I wasn’t in my native reality. I gasped out a sob.
“Is she all right?” Charlie’s voice, and Grandfather’s behind it: “Is her cord broken? Chulzh’th!”
Chulzh’th’s voice, not as calm as it should be, and dream-talons against my dream-forehead. “It’s still there, but it’s cracked. I don’t know how to get her back safely.” My confidence in my own form wavered vertiginously, and I teetered on the brink of dissolution.
Feet scratched lightly in the dirt. The gut-wrenching stench of rot pulled me back to the illusion of my senses.
“Ghouls walk that path whole. Could carry a human mind—maybe.” He bent and sniffed my cheek. I almost gagged, and was grateful. I pushed myself to sitting. The movement made me feel worse physically, but more like I had a physical self to do the feeling.
“Could you carry her mind back into her body?” asked Chulzh’th.
Glabri shrugged. “Never tried. But shorter walk, safer than your way?” He chewed his finger again. His nails were dark and ragged. “Clutch-thieves good at minds alone. Bring stupid fleshless thing here. We will allow, long enough to help carry lost mind.”
“Thank you,” said Grandfather fervently. “Next time I have a carcass, I’ll bring it to you in thanks.”
I breathed, concentrating on the ghoul’s rot and the warmth of Charlie’s hand.
“Don’t go,” I told him.
“I’m right here,” he promised.
The dreamland grew nebulous around me, or I within it. One of the elders must have gone for the Outer One. I had no idea how long it took. A jag of ashen silver etched the blue of my cord.
Ghouls chittered alarm. Tentacles brushed the dream of my head, raising static.
“Can you help?” asked Charlie.
“Yes, I see the problem. I can’t heal it, but I can hold it steady while we move her. Like a cast on a broken bone. Miss Marsh, focus. Don’t let yourself drift.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m trying to hold still.”
“Hold still. But focus. This will feel odd.”
It did feel odd—not painful, but like someone wrapped a scarf around one of my limbs and I couldn’t tell which one. Then as if, wrapped in this inexplicable fashion, they pulled me through a narrow pipe for a very long time …
I tried to concentrate on myself, my wholeness, and not to question these incomprehensible sensations. I tried not to think about how frightened I should be.
Then I lay crouched on real sand, coughing with my real lungs. Every smell, salt and garbage and sweat and cologne and ghoul-rot, cut through fear and dissociation to bind me again to myself. I breathed the warmth of confluence and family.
Because I could, I counted seconds. I didn’t try to focus on anything outside myself until I reached one hundred, and knew my heart was counting on its own. Then I looked up. Charlie and Grandfather still attended me—Grandfather checked me over as if seeking some outwardly visible wound, Charlie simply stayed near. The others watched me anxiously, save for S’vlk. Her vigilance was all for Nnnnnn-gt-vvv and Glabri—as theirs was for each other. Rigid attention thickened the space between them.
Chulzh’th squatted in front of me. “I was foolish. You will not have your way in this again.”
“I … think that’s a good idea.” I hadn’t considered how my diplomatic efforts would distract me from stretching precisely as far as was safe, and no farther—or how my safety might distract all of us from the task at hand. I hadn’t really believed my limits so inflexible. I didn’t want to confess that weakness in front of Glabri and Nnnnnn-gt-vvv, grateful as I was for their help, but Chulzh’th could see my hubris clearly enough.
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv swayed and said something to Glabri in Ghoulish. I wondered how many languages it spoke—and how long it would take Deedee to learn this one. Chulzh’th, still crouched before me, translated in a low voice.
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv: “Your people travel well.”
Glabri: “We travel between home and feeding ground. Not out to the stars, away from meat and bone.”
(I should not have been surprised, to learn that the ghoul was more poetic and fluent in his own tongue. It shouldn’t have been so easy to dismiss him as a mere scavenger.)
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv: “You’re angry with us because some of your people make a different choice. Because we welcome those ghouls who want to join us.”
Glabri: “Children are more than their own choices.”
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv: “They’re more than yours as well. You think we don’t understand family, but we do. We recognize many kinds of family, many kinds of connections that matter. We understand duties beyond obedience, and loyalty that can transcend species. We’re not the demons you think, tempting children away from the safe shadow of the gravestone. We serve a greater purpose too. We can aid you, if you’d take what we have to offer.”
Glabri: “That’s a very nice speech, but there’s no flesh on you. Nothing to trust.”
(I looked for some clue in Chulzh’th’s expression. Should I try to mediate? But sitting upright still took all the effort I could muster. At least I’d succeeded in my first goal: convincing Glabri to speak with Nnnnnn-gt-vvv.)
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv: “I can’t help being made of different matter. Our homespace is a long way away, but I promise there are creatures there who’d love to feast on my corpse.”
Glabri broke into barking laughter. “Maybe I ought to talk with them.”
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv: “If they recommended our carrion, would you be willing to offer us shelter? We’ll die here without a mine, with no one to honor our bones.”
Glabri: “Too close to our clutches, alive or dead. Why not take a hole with you and plant it somewhere else?”
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv: “Because I don’t know how to start a new mine growing—I don’t think any of my faction-mates do. I know just enough to turn what you’ve left intact”—it had, a few seconds before Chulzh’th’s translation, waved tendrils at the cliffside growth—“into a crude shelter. We won’t have the means to encircle minds, or any other comforts. Just a place that mimics our homespace, where we can rest. I can’t ignore Nyarlathotep’s command, but … I can promise that if any of your young come to us asking to join our travels, we’ll bring them to talk with you. They won’t disappear.”
Glabri chittered thoughtfully. “Your enemies will attack. They’ll make a mess of our den, and leave no bodies.”
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv shuddered all over, wings and tendrils drawing inward. “If they wanted to attack us directly, they wouldn’t have gone to such trouble to trick us into leaving the mine peacefully. They’ll focus on their own plans and leave us in peace.”
As I listened I realized that I’d been thinking like a human. Of course, I’d assumed, Nnnnnn-gt-vvv’s allies would want to attack those who�
�d exiled them and retake their lair from the usurpers. Of course such passionate disagreement must come to blows. I’d assumed we would join them in battle. And with them beside us—or more realistically, beside the elders with their warriors’ experience—we could prevent the interventions that might otherwise break humanity.
But from all I’d seen, the Outer Ones hated direct conflict. With each other they found it nearly unthinkable. Nnnnnn-gt-vvv’s passivist faction would dig in to their new shelter and think of slow, subtle ways to regain their place while the interventionists—gently and without ever drawing blood—did their best to control humanity.
And Neko, and Spector’s colleagues, would remain unwittingly vulnerable.
“Very well,” said Glabri. “I’ll speak to the warren. I’ll tell them we should give you shelter so long as you keep your word about our clutches, and leave when we say. And you’ll owe us flesh when you have it to give, and protection one day when we need it.” He bared ragged teeth. “Always good to make alliances with strange people—you may be creepy, but your strengths complement ours.”
He solemnly offered Nnnnnn-gt-vvv another bone from his string. The Outer One bent low, took the offering, and brushed tendrils over the ghoul’s shoulders. Glabri hissed and shuffled back, but the agreement appeared sealed.
I should have been pleased at our success. But I’d risked life and mind not merely to gain Nnnnnn-gt-vvv its refuge, but to oppose Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt’s plans for my family and species. In all the ways that mattered to the people in danger now, I’d failed.
I was ready to sleep for a week, but didn’t dare give in yet to exhaustion. Waves splashed against sand, and I clung to the sound. I reached deliberately and carefully for the confluence, and was rewarded by the syncopation of four hearts supporting my own. “Before you go, Nnnnnn-gt-vvv, we need to know how you plan to stop the interventionists. When will you move against them? We need urgently to reclaim the mine before their interference with human governments turns disastrous. We want to help.”
“We want to get my son out of there,” said Frances.
“Freddy chooses to stay with Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt,” said Nnnnnn-gt-vvv. “That’s his right.”
“He’s being an idiot,” said Shelean. “I’ve tried to talk him out of it, but he trusts the creature. I used to. It means well, of course it does.”
“Have you learned anything new?” asked Nnnnnn-gt-vvv. Spector watched intently.
“Not much,” she said. “They’ve talked about whether they can fix Miss Harris’s brain, and how much risk they should take in the treatment. They really do intend to help her, but they also think that it’ll give them more influence over her team. And they’ve talked about getting Russian government people into the Carpathian mine, but I haven’t been able to figure out who’s actually there.”
Nnnnnn-gt-vvv hummed thoughtfully. “Keep listening and try to find out. And if you can get one of them alone, try to give the American government our side of the story. Maybe one of my faction-mates knows someone in Moscow as well. In answer to your question, Ghavn Marsh, we need to reclaim influence so we can demand our place in the mine. Shelean, if any of Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt’s faction-mates sound amenable to our perspective, we may be able to siphon off some of its strength. But that will depend on having a stable anchor in this space, where defectors could join us.”
Spector leaned forward. “Are you sure it wouldn’t be better just to talk with Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt yourself? I don’t like how it treated your faction, but it seemed willing to engage openly with the government today, regardless of all this talk about espionage. If they want something from us, we may be able to get concessions, for humanity and for your faction.”
“You must not,” said Nnnnnn-gt-vvv. “Even during the most aboveboard negotiation, it could undermine you surreptitiously—it’s been practicing such artifices for longer than your country has existed. It would love the chance to influence more of your people.” Tentacles swiveled in my direction. “You especially must stay away. It wants you; that’s why it tried to draw you in through the trapezohedron.”
I wished it hadn’t mentioned the trapezohedron. Sharp and fresh, memory of R’lyeh mixed with awareness of my new fragility. “I can’t just hide. It’s used me already; I have to help stop what I gave it the means to do. And Neko is there. She may have chosen to go, but she didn’t know this was coming. She didn’t know about the trapezohedron’s influence.” I’d waited too long already; whatever my vulnerabilities, however I’d strained them already, I needed to see this through.
“I agree with Nnnnnn-gt-vvv,” said S’vlk. “Not that we should work subtly and slowly—this isn’t sea floor mapping—but that open negotiation is a good way to lose. They hate fighting, so that’s our best option.”
“Makes sense to me,” said Caleb. He looked ready for that fight. I wasn’t the only one to inherit Grandfather’s impulsive streak.
“They might prefer to talk,” said Spector, “but they can certainly outclass our spears and guns. If they don’t like violence, it’s for the same reason humans should have learned—their weapons have grown too deadly. The Outer Ones have probably had atomics since we were swinging in trees.”
“I’ve seen them fight,” said S’vlk. “I’m not suggesting we rush them with tridents. Just that we act. Go in, sabotage or steal what we can, and try to reset the wards so they answer to Nnnnnn-gt-vvv’s faction instead.”
“You’ve been complaining that the interventionists will act rashly, and get the opposite effect from the one they intend,” said Spector. “You could easily do the same. More easily—you’ve had less time to plan than they have. Let us try negotiation—it costs nothing and could save a lot of bloodshed.”
“It risks everything,” said Nnnnnn-gt-vvv. “And S’vlk’s plan is even worse. I beg you, give us time to work our own way.”
Audrey watched this exchange with unreadable eyes. I thought she’d been quiet because Shelean was present, but now she turned to Spector, smiling brightly. “I assume you reported this whole thing to your superiors—I know you don’t have the same boss as Barlow. What did they say? Is this whole negotiation idea theirs, or yours?”
“Both,” he said. “They didn’t even know this species—this political power—existed until a few days ago. They want to learn as much as they can, and you do that by talking.”
“What do they think about the Outer Ones talking to Russia?”
“Obviously they’d prefer these people as American allies. They’re willing to offer a lot to make that happen, and I agree with them. The safety of our country may depend on it.” He nodded at me. “Aphra, I know you have every reason to be upset after how you’ve been injured, but it may not have been intentional. If the Outer Ones value your diplomatic abilities—as we do—your help could go a long way toward making this work out in our favor.”
I stiffened. It had been a long time since Spector had so cavalierly assumed I’d cooperate. Even with the day’s stress, I expected better of him. “I do have every reason to be upset, yes.”
Audrey stood and stretched. “I’m just gonna point out that it’s past 2 a.m., and none of us have slept well in days. Unless you have?” She smiled at Spector, and he smiled back and shook his head. She paced around the circle, stopping near him to stretch again and then clear a smooth seat in the sand beside him. His gaze tracked her movements. Deedee’s did too, more thoughtfully. Audrey put a hand on Spector’s arm. “What do you think we can get from them, if we play our cards right?”
“Well…” He didn’t pull back. My pulse surged, but I forced myself not to show any reaction. He went on. “We can convince them that we’re a power in our own right, one worth treating with respect. I think it would be better if we could treat with them openly—being the first country with public diplomatic channels would give us a great advantage.”
I recalled Audrey, smug with the information she’d wangled from Barlow, admitting cheerfully that she could never do the same with Sp
ector. “Your brain is always going, even when you’re talking to a girl.”
Spector was among the few men who could go armed around me without raising old terrors. Now I stared fixedly at the sand to avoid looking at his holster. What should I do? Who would react quickly enough, if I said something? I felt Charlie’s breath quicken, the chill that squeezed his chest.
Audrey smiled more broadly and slipped her arm around the man beside her. At last he started to draw away—but the gun was in her hand, and she pushed herself back as he gasped. She trained the weapon on him. “Thank god. I was afraid you knew how to look after this thing. But you were just wearing it because he does.”
My veins stung with the speed of her pulse. Charlie stared, breath tight in his throat. Spector—whoever he was—raised open hands. “Audrey—Miss Winslow—what are you talking about?”
“Mr. Spector would never be so familiar,” she said. “It’s sweet, really. Plenty of guys act the gentleman with young ladies, but they’re not respectful. Nnnnnn-gt-vvv, I don’t suppose you recognize this imposter?”
I turned on the Outer One abruptly. “Did you know? That he was one of your doppelgangers?”
“No!” Nnnnnn-gt-vvv approached the man from the side, not blocking Audrey’s aim. It brushed his face and hair with tentative feelers. The man pushed them away—but he seemed accustomed to the Outer One’s uncanny presence. “Body sculpting, done right, leaves few traces. And I met Mr. Spector only in passing.”
I glanced at Charlie. Every line of his body was rigid with tension. His lips moved silently.
“It doesn’t matter who you are,” I said to the man. “Where is he? What are they doing to him? Why do they have to hide his absence even from his colleagues? Aren’t they supposed to be working with you?” Barlow’s team didn’t know; I couldn’t imagine that they knew. I told him never to be alone with them. He promised he’d be careful. But if the Outer Ones had this double ready in advance, it would have taken only a second of distraction, a colleague’s back turned while swift dark wings dragged Spector away from the visible world. Leaving a cuckoo in his place.
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