“Mr. Spector is on his way to Yuggoth,” said Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt. “He’s beyond reach of communication until he returns—it will likely be a day or two.”
Shelean’s pendant, I realized, put lie to their insistence that so many of the disappeared could not be reached. Unless the projector worked only on Earth? But Shelean had sworn that the emergency retrieval system worked over any distance—if they could do that to an entire mind, surely they could transmit speech. I almost said something, a disastrous slip caught before it left my throat.
“My cousin, then,” I conceded. “I want to see for myself that he’s okay. And Shelean, if she’s with him.”
“Gladly,” said Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt. It began to lead us back among the purple umbrae. “And then we must talk. You have many connections, and you understand what frightens humans. You know what pushes them to risk their own survival. And you can translate the lessons of your tribe’s long memory. We need your perspective, if we hope to make this work.”
I eyed the instruments. Nothing looked familiar or even comprehensible. Where buttons or levers might sit on a human machine, these had childish scribbles and strange asymmetric protrusions.
Our plan depended on Glabri not only for distraction, but to crack the wards so that Clara could slip through. Familiar with the logic of her old friends’ technology, she might be able to puzzle out the ward controls. There was no way I could operate them alone, even with Shelean’s aid.
“Aphra!” In the conversation pit, Freddy rose grinning to greet us. My frustration broke against that grin, wide and near-lipless. For a moment, I saw only a man of the water. I wanted to take his hand and drag him from this cave, to show him Innsmouth’s unpaved dunes and gambrel roofs and the view of Union Reef from my widow’s walk. I wanted Grandfather to grant him a boat bought with Y’ha-nthlei gold, show him how to coil a rope and set a sail, teach him how to be a man of our people. But he had only a tourist’s interest in Innsmouth’s humble beauty, or even in its glorious reflection below the reef.
“Cousin!” Shelean’s delighted exclamation gave no hint of how recently she’d spoken with us.
“Cousin.” Audrey’s tone was perfectly controlled, a believable mix of reluctance and acknowledgment. She reached out gingerly, a wary second’s brush against the canister.
As if the idea had just occurred to him, Charlie asked, “If we can’t talk with Ron—with Mr. Spector—can we at least see his body? Make sure he’s well?” It could have been my line, but if Spector’s secret affair lay dissected for the Outer Ones we could at least take this small advantage.
“Oh, can I come too?” squealed Shelean. “I’ve been sitting in the conversation pit all day, and I’m bored!”
Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt buzzed at another Outer One nearby, who waved cilia at us before scurrying off. To us, it said, “Will you not take my word for his well-being? I know you find the stasis room disturbing. Many newcomers do. It won’t provide the solace you seek.”
“Nevertheless, we want to see him,” I said.
“Hmmmvvvv. Very well, if you insist. Come on.”
I did not permit any hint of relief to escape my close-lipped frown. I followed, moving closer to Neko. Even now, when I couldn’t be sure of her, I wanted her near when I faced my newest source of nightmares. Freddy tagged behind with Shelean. We’d earned our first success.
As we entered the glaring light of the altar room, I straightened my collar. The tip of my finger brushed the little finger bone beneath. We’re here. We’re ready. Lips motionless, I prayed that our actions today would add some meaning to the brief life of the bone’s original owner.
Then I made myself look at the bodies. I knew how long it had taken me to cross the room before. There could not reasonably be more than a couple dozen figures laid out on the rough stones, but I could not count them. My gaze snagged on the wide pupils of a dark-skinned young man, the rictus smile of a pale woman with tangled curls. Yet Freddy trailed his fingers casually against a platform, smiling fondly.
Informed by Shelean’s descriptions, I could see—after forcing my eyes from the waxen bodies—the lumpen shapes of controls on each altar. She kept up a stream of commentary now, names and gossip and introductions for each terrified face. I could imagine how that babbling narrative had served her well among the K’n-yan: not merely a sign of madness but a cloak over whatever honest emotion might attract a peer’s cruel whim.
“Oh,” she squealed, interrupting herself. “There’s mine.”
“You’re beautiful,” said Freddy, in the tone of someone who’d said the same thing many times and wasn’t yet tired of doing so.
“It’s beautiful,” she corrected. “I’m here.”
“You’re beautiful, and your body is beautiful.”
“Sweet boy.”
Shelean’s body was small. Awake, she might have come up to my shoulder. She was brown and slender, and the proportions of her limbs matched neither air nor water. Tattoos ran across her skin: strange beasts and vining helixes, unfamiliar runes and one ancient symbol, a stylized comet trailing fiery seeds, that stood for Shub-Niggaroth’s fertile bounty long before humans rose from Earth’s dust. In the entire room, her face alone was serene. Her empty eyes met the fierce spotlight with pupils relaxed; her frozen smile showed only tranquility.
“Here’s your friend,” said Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt. I made myself look away from the oasis of Shelean’s face.
Until that moment, I discovered, I hadn’t quite believed that Spector had been stolen. I’d spoken with Nick, knew he wasn’t what he claimed, but I’d seen Spector’s face and left him at the hotel. Yet here he lay, stripped bare and captured in an instant of fear and fury such as I’d never seen on his waking face. Charlie’s nails dug into my palm.
“It’s hardest the first time,” said Freddy anxiously. “You shouldn’t read too much into the expressions—it’s like getting a shot. It hurts, coming out of your body, but what you get after is good.”
I nodded distractedly, looking for the shapes Shelean had described. Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt still lingered, and I could do nothing under its full attention.
Normally, awake and outside ritual, I could ignore the worlds that waited a breath away. But now I felt something stir in the dreamland. Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt’s wings flexed, and its tendrils went rigid. “Excuse me. Something is happening, I must—” and it vanished, gone to whatever layer of reality Glabri had chosen to invade the mine.
“There,” said Shelean. “That squiggly bit—no, the other one. The long squiggly line. Tug it straight.”
“Aphra?” asked Neko.
“What are you doing?” demanded Freddy, but I’d found the protrusion from Spector’s altar. Stone writhed beneath my hand like a living thing. I dug in my fingers and pulled it slowly, painfully, taut. Something clicked and went still.
“I’m bringing him back,” I said. “He’s not like you, Freddy. He didn’t want to be here.” I watched, willing Spector to motion, but his body remained arched and frozen.
“He did,” said Neko. Her voice diminished to an uncertain thread. “Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt said he did.”
“Why isn’t he back yet?” I asked anxiously.
“The further away you are, the longer it takes,” said Shelean. “No emergency’s worth the risk of pulling someone back too quickly.”
“You helped her betray them,” Freddy accused her.
“I told you, sweet, I know what happens when you force gifts on someone. We shouldn’t be doing that, they shouldn’t be doing that, and I can’t allow it. They can save their generosity for people who want it.”
Neko pressed her fist against her mouth, a little-girl gesture of horror. Above her hand, her eyes narrowed with grim outrage.
“Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt was right to doubt you.” A hum from the room’s edge modulated in displeasure. An Outer One crouched, and lifted the object it bore. I saw with sudden dread the vessel holding the trapezohedron. The intruder bent its eyeless head, and lifted the lid tenderly
. “You need to understand us better. Just as he did.”
I couldn’t look away. I felt the painful, rasping strain on my azure cord, still half-shattered. But something held me back from the trapezohedron’s abyssal vision. Mary’s talisman knew that siren call as an assault on my mind, and gave me a chance to fight.
I knew I should seize that chance. And yet I wanted to look upon R’lyeh again, to dive beneath waters that might otherwise be decades away. The talisman warmed against my breastbone.
Freddy lowered himself to the floor, entranced, steady in the throes of the familiar sacrament. Neko cried out and collapsed. I should have worried; all I could think was that she, too, sought the visions. Still I pulled back, recalling vaguely that the pain in my head would get worse if I gave in. It was hard to remember. The pain must fade if I gave in, mustn’t it? The pain only lasted a moment, like a shot …
“Aphra. Aphra!” I became aware, distantly, that Audrey was tugging my arm. “Your cord, Aphra, you have to stay here.” I couldn’t answer. The world around me began to fade. Through the fog, I saw her pull off her own talisman and thrust it over my neck. She pressed the cloth bundle against the skin beneath my collar. The ribbon caught on my hairpins, but my sight began to clear. I remembered that I must fight, could almost recall why. I couldn’t make my body move, but I swam against the trapezohedron’s undertow, fighting a swift and deadly current.
It was Audrey, seeing only the surface silence of my struggle, who said to Shelean, “You gave us the strength to resist because that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? To be safe from anyone who tried to twist your mind? I can feel that thing’s pull, but I can hold it off.” As the Outer One stalked toward her, she added, “I hope to god your judgment’s still that good.” She flung herself down beside her cousin’s altar, and grasped the line that would call her home.
CHAPTER 25
Spector’s mind was long light-hours away; Shelean had only four feet to travel. Even through the pain of trying to hold myself together, I felt the shock of her presence. She swung to her feet and whirled to take in the room with an expression of pure and terrifying delight.
“Oh, what an awful idea! Everything’s a weapon to you, Audrey, even people—you are one of us. The Outer Ones’ improvisations are so much more civilized.” She stretched out her hand, and I stumbled as the trapezohedron released me. The backlash sent me to my knees, temples squeezed by blinding agony. When it cleared, I saw that the trapezohedron itself had vanished. The Outer One backed away from a cloud of glittering dust. Frantic buzzing resolved into frantic English: “Shelean, lie back down! Shelean!”
Audrey knelt, retching.
Freddy’s eyes widened at the sight of his lover. “Shelean?”
“There you are!” She dragged Freddy to his feet. “Just a moment. I have to do … something, what am I supposed to do?”
She shrugged, then swept Freddy into an embrace. She kissed him deeply, twined fingers in his hair, dragged sharp nails down his neck and spine as if to gather in an instant all the sensation she’d forbidden herself for decades.
Neko groaned. Frances stooped to help with trembling fingers. Her eyes never left Shelean.
I squatted beside Audrey. “Audrey, are you…?” I wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence.
She caught her breath. “I had to do something. He was going to break your cord.”
“I was fighting it.”
“You were losing. It was all I could think of.” She gasped, and I held her shoulders as her throat seized up again. Only a moment, then she forced another breath. “I’m sorry. I can feel them, the things in my blood. They’re not coming out, not yet, but they’re awake. They recognize her as a threat. Wasn’t that smart of her?”
Through all this, Charlie hadn’t moved. Now he whimpered, so softly only someone who knew him well might notice. Audrey and I both looked up. On his stone slab, Spector struggled upright. Self-control had begun to veil his face, but rage and horror still held sway. He patted himself cautiously, and his expression grew bland. I recalled him urging a coat on me as I emerged naked and dripping from the ocean, and wished I’d brought one of the cloaks.
Shelean clung to Freddy, watching Spector with pride and pleasure as if he were some Frankensteinian monster brought to life through her will alone.
Charlie could not, I saw, move to help his lover first. I did my best to ignore Spector’s nakedness. I wanted to touch him, to give Charlie the excuse, but he wouldn’t appreciate the further assault on his dignity.
“Mr. Spector,” I said, giving him what refuge I could in formality. “How are you feeling?”
“How am I…?” His laugh stretched thin and ragged. “I feel like someone grabbed my brain and pulled it out through my ears. It’s so hard to concentrate. What’s going on? What did they do?”
Tentatively, I took his hand. “I know it’s hard right now, but Professor Trumbull says that at times like this you have to pay attention to your body. Get up, move around, shake your mind back into place.”
“She’d know, wouldn’t she?” He obeyed, rubbing his hands together and then pushing himself to stand, colt-like, on the floor.
I felt overwhelmed myself—by the aftereffects of the trapezohedron, by Audrey’s nauseous dread and Neko’s confusion and Spector’s blurred anger. Thanks to the ghouls’ distraction, we’d rescued Spector. Now we had to provide our own distraction so the ghouls could slip Clara through to reset the wards. Unless her memory was better than she thought, she needed Shelean’s guidance to make that possible. The K’n-yan still had an arm wrapped around Freddy, but she was staring at her empty slab with her mouth in a fascinated O.
“Shelean,” I said sharply. She looked at me and blinked, and I felt suddenly that her casual attention might be the most dangerous thing I’d ever faced. “Can you still see what Clara’s doing?”
“Don’t be daft, of course I can’t. The projector’s tied to my canister, not my body. You want me to go check on her? I remember how to do this…” She held up her hand, smiling oddly, and her flesh began to blur into muscle-red fog.
“Oh god, stop!” Audrey cried. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she trembled violently.
Shelean looked at her in mild surprise, but her hand re-knit itself. “Oh, cousin-child, there you are. It’s hard the first time, isn’t it?”
Freddy broke through his own shocked silence. “Shelean, what are you doing? You destroyed the trapezohedron! Why are you treating Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt like the enemy?” He edged away from her, his flinch adding the unspoken: is this the madness you warned me about?
Her voice filled with sudden, sane pity: “The trapezohedron’s only a sacrament till it’s defiled. Look at Ron, there. He didn’t want to travel with us. Aphra doesn’t want the universe, just the ocean. But the interventionists won’t let them go their own way. They think what’s right for us has to be right for them. Pick your side.”
Freddy glared at me, at his mother. “This is the first place in my life where I’ve fit in. Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt gave me that.”
“I know,” I said. I imagined trickling sand in an hourglass: Glabri’s troupe forced into retreat, Clara stranded with no way to carry out her task; the Outer Ones rallying to extract us from the altar room. “As much as we want you in Innsmouth—if this is your place and your family, you get to make that choice. But Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt’s people tried to take that choice from me and Mr. Spector, and they’ll take it from our whole species if they get the chance. Nnnnnn-gt-vvv’s faction wants to protect our right to make our own choices, even if they might be dangerous. You can help.”
He looked between us, shaking his head. “This isn’t right.”
“Pull yourself together, kid,” said Frances, irritation breaking through. “Did I ever tell you doing the right thing always felt good?”
“You never found us a home to feel good in. How would you know?”
“You think I haven’t been looking?”
He pulled farther away from Shelean.
“You’re all wrong.”
His lover shook her head. “Stupid, beautiful boy.”
“If you won’t help us,” I said, “then go.” My face felt hot and dry.
He stared at us for a long moment, hands flexing. The ache in his eyes, haunted and overwhelmed, reminded me how young he was, how little he’d seen of his own world before leaving it behind. He turned away with that silent misery etched across his body, and flung himself from the room.
“I should—” said Frances, looking after her son, then at me. “No. We need to do this thing. He’ll be okay?”
“Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt wouldn’t hurt him,” said Shelean. “Freddy wants what it wants him to want.”
Neko watched Freddy go, but didn’t move to follow him. “They lied to me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know what you hoped to find here.”
“I hope for a lot of things, and they don’t always fit together. But I still trust you. I’ll figure out the rest later. What do you need us to do?”
“We don’t have much time,” I said. I felt that with certainty: whatever Glabri and Clara were doing, it couldn’t have gone right. Clara didn’t know how to fix the wards on her own. She needed Shelean’s guidance, and had depended on getting it through the pendant. We needed Spector’s experience as well, and quickly—with both the violence and the negotiations to follow. “Mr. Spector, you need to know what’s happened so you can help us deal with it. They’ve made up one of their people to look exactly like you. He’s fooled your colleagues, and he’ll urge your masters to go along with Kvv-vzht-mmmm-vvt’s terms. If we succeed here, it won’t matter—the interventionist faction won’t be in charge anymore. But if we lose, you’re going to need to convince them to break with the winners.”
He nodded. There was a soldier’s determination in the set of his lips. I tried not to notice his hollow eyes.
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