by Karen Booth
I squeezed his knee and patted it, remembering what Claire had said to me when we went for our run on Thanksgiving Day. “I hope you know I love you like a dad.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
The front door slammed. Sam screamed.
Oh my God. “What’s wrong?” My heart thundered as I craned to see where she was.
“I got in.” She ran into the living room, waving a letter. “I got in. I actually got into NYU.”
Shit. Okay, back to breathing. “That is so wonderful, honey. Congratulations.” I was about to get up, but she fell to her knees in front of me, baby blues brimming with jubilation. Wow. NYU. Good thing I have Chris around to help pay for this stuff.
“I can’t believe it.” She shook her head, unfolding the letter and scanning it.
“I believe it. I totally believe it.” Relief washed over me. She’s okay. Even better—she’d gotten into her dream school and her dream program, studying dramatic writing in the school of Film & Television. Thankfully, she’d be spending the next four years in the same time zone, a short hour-long flight away. “You’ve worked so hard. You deserve it.”
“And if Bryce gets into Harvard, I won’t be that far from him.”
“Uh huh.” That’s a mighty big if.
Chris strolled into the room, buttoning the cuff of his shirt. “What’s all the excitement?”
“Sam got into NYU.” I watched as the pair embraced.
“Wonderful.” Chris patted her on the back. “We should order in some dinner after we get back from childbirth class.”
Sam’s eyes pled with me. “Mom. You don’t still expect me to stay here with Grandpa.”
“Sorry, honey. I know the timing isn’t great.”
Her shoulders drooped. “Even after I just got my big news?”
I closed my laptop and set it next to me on the couch. “I can’t do anything about when the class is.”
“But I want to call Bryce. Go out and celebrate.” She bounced on her toes, bugging her eyes, as if that might help me understand how earth shattering it would be to miss time with Bryce.
She was back to spending unearthly amounts of time with him, always at his house, never at ours. I was fairly certain it wasn’t because of Chris or me—we’d done our best to make Bryce feel welcome. I could only attribute it to an inability to cope with what was going on with her grandfather. They had once been chums, albeit with a shade of feigned reluctance on Sam’s part. Now she hardly looked at him, avoided conversation.
“Then invite Bryce over here.”
“I don’t want to. I want to go to his house.”
I shrugged. “What do you want me to do?” I glanced over my shoulder and lowered my voice. “I don’t feel right about leaving him alone.”
“Mom, it’s my birthday tomorrow and everything. This doesn’t seem fair.”
“Somebody should stay in case something happens. It can’t be me or Chris, so you’re the only other choice.”
She blew out an exasperated breath. “How long will you be gone?”
“The class is two hours.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”
How she loves to turn this stuff back on me. “I have permission from the doctor.”
Chris tapped his watch. “We should probably get going.”
I looked at Sam. “We have to go.”
“I can’t believe I have to babysit Grandpa.”
“Samantha Jane.” I hated myself for busting out the middle name, but she was pushing a lot of buttons. “Don’t let him hear you say that. And you know that I don’t ask that much of you, but I need you to do this one thing.”
“I suppose you’re going to want me to babysit the real baby when it arrives too.”
Chris’s voice came from behind me. “Sam. Please don’t talk to your mother like that. She can’t handle the stress.” It pleased me to hear Chris take a parental stance. Most of the time, he was putty in her hands. “It’s only for a few hours and then you can take your mom’s car for the rest of the day. I’ll give you money for gas.”
And we’re back to being putty. My car was practically Sam’s at this point anyway, since I wasn’t supposed to go anywhere on my own. “Please, Sam. Just this one thing. For me.”
She stared up at the ceiling and shook her head. “Yes, ma’am.”
Great. Ma’am. Serves me right for going with Samantha Jane. “Thank you.”
We arrived at the hospital’s wellness center a few minutes late, and it took us a while to find the classroom in the maze of hallways on the second floor.
“Welcome,” a woman in a flowing purple skirt and white blouse said. “I’m Cathy. I take it you’re here for the childbirth class?”
It was a reasonable assumption, considering that I was taking on the shape and size of a blimp. “Yes. Hi. I’m Claire. This is my husband, Chris.”
“Wonderful. Here are a few handouts.” She handed Chris a fat manila envelope. “You can go ahead and have a seat on the floor. Dad, if you’ll sit with your back against the wall and your knees bent, we’ll let Mom recline between your legs. We’re going to start with some deep breathing exercises.”
The room was a large rectangle, covered in low-pile office carpet, with no furniture except a table for Cathy’s papers. Several couples were already there, sitting as we’d been instructed.
“For a minute there, I thought Cathy was suggesting a new sex position,” Chris muttered in my ear. He eased himself on to the floor and scooted back to the wall. He held out his hand, inviting me to join him. “Ready, Mom? Be careful.” His sweet smile was enough to help me set aside my annoyance with Sam.
I lowered myself to one knee, then the other, planting my hands on the floor and turning over to my butt.
“Lie back, darling,” he whispered into the back of my head. He put his arms under mine, cradling the sides of my belly with both hands. “This is exciting. Another step closer.”
The baby kicked and I smiled. Sure, it wasn’t much fun when they got big and started stomping on your bladder, but it was a reminder that everything was A-Okay. Virtually nothing was A-Okay these days. At least the baby was happy.
Cathy clapped her hands and rubbed them together, stepping to the middle of the room. “So glad to have everyone here today. Before we get started, I’d like to go around the room and have everyone tell us their first names and the baby’s due date.”
There were about ten other couples, so this was a fairly quick process and a fun one at that, since I liked hearing when people were set to deliver. Most people mentioned whether they were having a boy or a girl. Chris and I still felt good about our decision, even though it was torture to wait. I really wanted a boy. I was fairly certain Chris did too, although he held fast with his claim that he didn’t care. He only wanted a healthy baby.
As our turn came closer, it struck me how much younger everyone else was—fresh-faced, devoid of wrinkles. The only exception was a stunning couple opposite us, Robert and Bobbi. They looked as though they were closer to our age bracket. At least we might not be the only ones in the advanced maternal age boat.
When our turn came, Chris took the lead. “I’m Chris, and this is my lovely bride, Claire.”
I blushed and waved. “Hi. It’s nice to meet everyone.”
“Our baby is due May 27th,” he continued. “We don’t know what we’re having, but we are one hundred percent certain it will either be a boy or a girl.”
The entire class laughed, except Cathy, who merely smiled. Yeah, she’s probably heard that one before.
“We’re going to start with some relaxation techniques,” she said. “For the moms, I want you to close your eyes and focus on tensing and then releasing your muscles as you travel the length of your body. Start with your feet, then your ankles, then your calves and so forth. With each relaxation, I want you to focus on sinking into your partner. Put your weight on them.”
I closed my eyes. Despite this being my second time giving birth, I�
�d been so embarrassed after attending one childbirth class on my own that I’d never gone back. Much of this was new to me. After relaxation techniques, Cathy described the stages of labor, how to recognize when it was starting.
“Dads, your number one job during labor and delivery is to remember what we’re doing.” Cathy paced around the room. “When she’s going through contractions, it’ll be difficult for her to recall the various breathing and relaxation methods. That is where you save the day. Everything we cover in class is in the handouts. Be sure you review them and take them with you to the hospital.”
Chris seemed to hang on her every word and didn’t even goof around when she talked about having sex to induce labor. I was proud of him, although I was waiting for the joke. It simply never came.
As much as I’d wanted to get out of the house, I was wiped out after class.
“We need to get that hospital bag packed.” Chris turned into our neighborhood.
“We still have two months until my due date.”
“You never know. The baby could come early.”
I rounded my hands over my growing belly. “That’s wishful thinking. Sam was ten days late.”
“Ten days? Nobody around to have sex with you?”
I shook my head. “Weird, but I had a hard time picking up men when I was the size of a submarine.”
“Fools. All of them.” He reached over and squeezed my leg. “If I’d been around, I would’ve ravaged you.”
I giggled. “Thanks. That makes me feel better.” And wow, that would’ve been weird. My phone beeped with a text from Sam.
Are you guys almost done?
I grumbled. “It’s Sam. She wants to know when we’ll be home.” On our way.
She replied quickly. Can I head over to Bryce’s now?
You can’t wait five minutes?
It’s only five minutes.
“This is stupid. I’m calling her.” I pushed the speed-dial for Sam’s cell. “Sam, honey. What is the deal?”
“This is boring. I’ve been cooped up in this house all day long.”
“Welcome to my world. I just don’t understand what the big rush is. We’re literally two minutes from home.” I hung up the phone.
“Trouble in paradise?” Chris asked.
“I don’t understand why she’s being such a pain in the ass about being at home.”
He pursed his lips. “Honestly? I think she likes going to Bryce’s house because life is dull there. Dull, but stable.”
I’d give my right arm for stable.
Chris pulled into the driveway, where Sam was climbing into my car.
I huffed. “She just can’t wait to make her escape, can she?”
Chris put his truck in park. “I guess this is her way of dealing with it.”
I opened my door to go after her.
Lightning fast, Chris grabbed my arm. “Don’t, darling. We have to let her go.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Claire crammed her cell phone under a pillow. “Remind me not to talk to my sister. Ever.”
“Now what?” I finished buttoning my jeans and sat next to her on the bed.
“This stuff with my dad. I asked her to come down for a weekend and she won’t do it.”
I took her water bottle from the bedside table after noticing it was still quite full. “Here. You need to be drinking more.”
“Sorry. I keep forgetting.”
“Not surprised. You’re on the phone all the time.”
She took a sip and put the bottle back. “There’s nothing else to do in this bed.” She must’ve caught the stupid grin on my face. “Except that. And I’m the size of a Volkswagen. I doubt you really feel like doing that with me right now.”
I frowned. “I feel like doing that with you all the time. It’s just that we need to keep things a little quiet in that department until the nipper arrives.” And it’s killing me. I leaned closer and inched her top up to reveal her now-bulging stomach. A dark line had formed above and below her belly button, her skin stretched taut as a drum. “You’re nurturing our child. Rest assured, you couldn’t be any more beautiful to me right now.” I pressed a gentle kiss to her bare skin—the baby pushed back against me. “Hello there.” I blinked and eased back a few inches.
Claire peered down at her belly. “Look. A baby butt.”
Bloody hell. Sure enough, there was the distinct outline of a wee bottom. “Wow,” was as poignant a comment as I could muster.
“I think the same thing happened last night when I got up to pee. I could feel it, but I couldn’t see it in the dark.” The outline receded and Claire sighed, lowering her top. “I don’t know what to do about Julie. I’m afraid he’s going to die without her coming to say goodbye. It’s so stupid. It’s all because she’s mad at him.”
“Mad?” I shifted and sat next to her, propping myself up with what was left of the pillows.
“She thinks he’s being selfish. She thinks he should’ve had the biopsy and undergone whatever treatment the doctors ordered.”
“Hmmm.” I took her hand. “I have to say, I admire your dad for the way he’s handled this. He’s a stubborn guy, but there’s something to be said for going out on your own terms.”
“I know.” The corners of her mouth drew down. She gently rubbed my knuckles with her thumb. “I just wish it wasn’t so hard to watch.”
“Claire, darling.” Dipping my head down, I forced her to look at me. “It was going to be difficult to watch either way. Either he’s in the hospital or he’s here. There’s no getting around it.”
“They might’ve been able to prolong his life.”
I nodded. “Maybe. But that’s a pretty big might. Frankly, I don’t think any of us can question his rationale. We don’t know what we would do in his shoes.”
“Samantha isn’t dealing with this very well.”
“I’d prefer it if she wasn’t avoiding him so much, but we all have our coping mechanisms. They’ve been very close and I’m sure this is scary and confusing to her.”
She rolled to her side and placed her head on my chest. “I hate this, just so you know.”
“Of course you do. What’s to like? It’s awful.”
“This isn’t the way it was supposed to be. He was supposed to be around for a lot longer than this.”
I raked my fingers up and down her back. “Knowing your dad, he’ll surprise us all and still be here five years from now.”
With nothing left to say, I pulled her closer. It was surreal to live with a dying person. Claire and I were so eager for life to remain, as it was, that we mostly went on as we had before the doctors had found the tumor. Not much else to do, really—not very nice to say, “Oh, thank goodness you’re still here” every morning over coffee.
A tear came to my eye when it hit me. This was how we all lived. We’re all dying. Any day could be our last. It happened to my mum and dad—he was there one morning for breakfast, gone the next. No time to say goodbye because we’d had no idea he was leaving. At least we can say goodbye to Richard. The question is whether we’ll all get around to doing it.
I cupped my hand around Claire’s belly. And that is why we celebrate new life.
“I have to call Laura,” Claire mumbled into my chest. “I really don’t want to.”
The mere mention of Laura made me want to climb the wall. Whenever Claire reminded her that she was on bed rest, Laura acknowledged it and went right on pushing for everything she wanted. “That’s not a good sign if you’re avoiding her.”
“Oh, I’m being a wimp. She’s great. It’s just keeping me on my toes when I really feel like taking a nap.”
“Maybe that’s a sign that you need a nap.” I slipped a finger under her chin and again forced her to look me in the eye. “You need to listen to your body right now, darling. I’m serious.”
“I promise I’ll take a nap after my phone call.” She dug around under the pillow for her phone and took her laptop from the bedside table. “Yes, hel
lo. It’s Claire calling for Laura.”
Under no circumstances was I about to leave the room. This was as close as I could come to protecting Claire and our baby from the number one hazard of Claire’s new job—stress. I went to the closet, took a stack of rock t-shirts from a shelf and began re-folding them. Good thing I was out of sight, still able to hear what was going on. Claire never would’ve bought that I would take on the task voluntarily.
Nearly everything Claire said during the phone call irked me. I’m working on it…I need more time…Okay, I’ll get it done…That’s really close to my due date. That last one was enough to bring me back into the room.
I stood at the end of the bed and watched, arms folded squarely across my chest. This time I’m really going to take the phone out of her hand. This has got to stop. Claire’s face was painted in worry and concern. My jaw tensed, my back grew tight. She was being pulled in two very different directions, so much so that I could feel it. Every inch of me, every last shred of protective dad and husband was at the boiling point.
“Claire, I need you. Can you please tell Laura you’ll talk to her later?”
She gave me a look that could only be inferred as asking if I’d lost my fucking mind.
“I’m serious. Now.”
She threw her hand up in the air. “I’m sorry, Laura. Chris was talking to me. What did you say?”
I could only think of Claire and the baby. I took the phone out of Claire’s hand. “Laura, hi, this is Christopher. I’m sorry to interrupt. How are you today, darling?”
There was a moment of silence on the other line that made me wonder if I’d accidentally hung up. “Christopher? Hi. I’m well. How are you?” Her voice took on a decidedly bubbly and girlish quality. “What a treat to talk to you.”
If Claire’s eyes had been laser beams, I would’ve no longer had a head.
“It’s a treat for me to talk to you.” I had to turn away to avoid the look of utter disgust and disappointment on Claire’s face. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I think Claire forgot that she has a doctor’s appointment and we’re going to be late if we don’t leave right now. You understand.”