“You know, Aiden,” she said. “That friend Lawrence of yours is rather odd. He has Carlie Diane convinced that he’s a real-life vampire. Can you believe that?”
Josh bit his lower lip to keep from bursting out laughing while Aiden gave a hollow chuckle. “Oh, that Larry’s a real joker.”
“Yes, well, I’d just appreciate it if he didn’t do that sort of thing around the kids. Understand?”
“Yes, Jennifer, I understand.”
The click-clack-click-clack told Josh that his mother had gone back to the living room. It was safe to reenter the kitchen.
He found Aiden with a cell phone held up to his ear, speaking quietly. “Hi, Bernie, it’s Aiden…Yeah, we have a little situation…No, it’s Larry Fancypants this time…Right...We need three memory wipes. The Coopers, the people I work for. Remember them from a few weeks ago? Also their boss, a television host named Carlie Diane…Cool. Thanks.” Aiden clicked the phone off and slid it back into his pocket.
“Uh,” sighed Mrs. F-G from her station at the sink. “Vampires.”
Chapter Five
Zombies, Wraiths, and Milkshakes
Wednesday was the last day of school, and Josh was super excited as he and his small group of friends went through the school’s front doors and out into bright, warm sunlight. They made quick promises to get together soon and parted ways, eager to get summer vacation started.
Feeling even more carefree than he thought he would, since his exams had been almost easy due to Aiden’s help studying, Josh looked around and saw that Aiden was there, waiting for him with a big smile on his face.
“Happy vacation, buddy!” Aiden gave Josh a high-five.
“Yaaay!!!” Came the familiar squeal from behind Josh. He turned to see Rosemary running full-speed at Aiden. Hugging him around the waist, she cried, “Oh, Aiden, our first summer together! How positively delightful!”
“Uh, yeah.” Aiden disentangled himself. “Happy summer vacation, Rosemary!”
“Can we go for ice cream?” was her reply.
“Well now, let me think about it…” Aiden said, stroking his chin. “We sure can!”
“Yaaay!!!” Rosemary repeated, this time so close that it hurt Josh’s ears. He didn’t mind, though. He was too happy to let Rosemary bug him.
After a quick stop at a fancy gelato place, the three continued home at a slow pace, licking fast to keep up with the melting treat.
“So, Aiden, I have lots of activities planned for us this summer,” Rosemary announced while they walked. “For example, tomorrow morning, we’re going to go to the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology—”
“Uh-uh,” Josh interrupted her. “No way.”
“We are so,” Rosemary argued. “It’s educational. Tell him, Aiden.”
“Sorry, toots, but no can do,” Aiden informed her.
“What?” Rosemary pouted. “We can’t go to the museum?”
“Well, maybe some time, but not tomorrow morning.”
“How come?”
“I have a meeting in the morning.”
“Oh. Well, who’s going to take care of us?”
“Your parents are home in the mornings, remember?”
“Oh, but you’re so much more fun than they are!”
Aiden grinned. “Well, thanks, but I’m sure you’ll have a good time with them.”
“Doubtful. They’re so boring.”
“I tell you what, when I get back from my meeting, we can do something together.”
“Oo! Like a tea party?”
“Uh, okay. Sure. A tea party.”
“Aiden, you are so awesome!” She licked her cone contentedly for a few moments. “Mrs. Effigy will know just what to make for the refreshments, but I have no idea what to wear!”
“I’m sure you’ll come up with something,” Aiden said.
“So, what’s the meeting about, Aiden?” Josh asked once Rosemary had focused on her cone.
“Uh, it’s more like a training session.” Aiden sounded a bit uncomfortable with the question.
“At Staffing Solutions?”
“Yup.”
“Can I go with you?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure your parents will want you to hang out with them. You know, first day of summer vacation and all.”
“I can talk them into it,” Josh said.
“This wouldn’t be the best time for you to tag along, buddy. It could get pretty…intense.”
This, of course, only made Josh want to go even more.
* * * *
Josh got the opportunity to pursue the matter just a few hours later. In honor of the last day of school, his mom took an extra-long dinner break from work to take them all out to eat. His dad was stuck at the studio and would miss the traditional end-of-year celebration. This year, it was Josh’s turn to choose where to go. There was no doubt in his mind; he wanted to go to McDaVinci’s, an Irish/Italian place that specialized in potato pizza. Josh didn’t know who disliked the idea more, his mom, or Mrs. F-G.
As Josh sat eating the last of his colcannon cannoli, it (the opportunity, not the cannoli) fell right into his lap. “Oh, Aiden,” said his mother, “I have to take Rosemary to the doctor’s for her yearly checkup tomorrow morning. I know you don’t work mornings, but do you think you’d be able keep an eye on Joshua?”
Aiden didn’t answer at once. He chewed his food slowly, as if trying to give himself time to think up an excuse.
“Hey, I can go with you to that thing you have to do,” Josh said to him.
“Oh.” His mom sounded a little disappointed. “I didn’t know you had something. Not a problem, Joshua can go with us.”
It took about one billionth of a second for Josh to compare sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, reading an old copy of Highlights, or going to watch some werewolf training. “Please, Mom? Aiden won’t mind,” he said, suspecting that it would be that Siegfried guy who minded.
There was uncertainty on his mother’s face. She normally didn’t hesitate if she thought the nanny would just be hanging around the apartment, but rarely asked if she thought she might be intruding on the free time. Aiden registered no uncertainty at all. Biting his lower lip and shaking his head, he didn’t want Josh along, just as he had said earlier in the day.
But Josh wasn’t giving up that easily. “Come on, Aiden, I can hang out with that one lady who likes…people like you.”
“People like you?” His mom looked up from her pizza wearing a puzzled, slightly alarmed expression.
“Yeah,” said Aiden. “Southerners. She likes my accent.” He said it a little too quickly. Josh suspected that Aiden had a bunch of premade excuses to cover for slips like this. Maybe it was part of his training.
His mom relaxed at this, but added, “Joshua, please. ‘People like you’ is a terrible thing to say, as if we could simply put a label on an entire group of people like that. It’s offensive.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled to both his mother and to Aiden, who didn’t appear offended at all.
The dinner went back to what it was before, Jennifer feeding Jackson, Rosemary putting on a little play with the salt and pepper shakers for Mrs. F-G, and Aiden sneaking peeks at the baseball game on a distant television screen.
During a commercial break, Josh leaned closer to Aiden and said, “I can keep doing that all night, you know. Can I come with you tomorrow?”
Aiden looked like he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or yell. The laugh won, and he let out a little chuckle. “Okay. But you’ll have to hang out up front. You can’t come back with me and Siegfried, deal?”
“Deal,” said Josh, reaching for a second cannoli.
* * * *
Just as before, the first thing they saw when they entered Staffing Solutions was a smiling Cleo. “Hey there, Mr. Aiden. And…Mr. Aiden’s friend.”
Just as before, two heads popped up from the cubicles behind her, one frowning and disappearing instantly, the other remaining in place and beaming at them.
“Josh,” he introduced himself again.
“Josh,” repeated Cleo, staring up at the ceiling. “Josh. Josh.” Her eyes came back to his. “Okay, got it, Josh. I swear, sometimes I wish I’d picked a brain with a better memory.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hang on a second.” She turned to Aiden. “He’s waiting for you in back.” Tilting her head toward Josh, she added, “He’s supposed to stay here with us, I’m assuming?”
“Yup, if you don’t mind.”
“We don’t mind at all!” exclaimed Britney, streaking out of her cubicle and wrapping Josh in a huge hug. “We’ll have a great time together, won’t we?”
“Um, yes?” Josh ventured.
“Britney, please let the boy breathe,” said Cleo as she rolled her eyes. “Honestly, if you two didn’t work for so little…”
“Bye,” Aiden called, making a quick exit through one of the doors in back.
Josh had a moment where he regretted coming. He thought he’d be able to see some cool stuff. His head had been full of visions of werewolves sparring, growls and tufts of fur filling the air. Instead, he was stuck up front, far away from all the good stuff, with some strange lady fawning over him.
“Can I get you anything? Soda? Cookies? Malted milk balls?” asked Britney, standing far too close.
“No, thank you,” Josh replied.
“Britney, why don’t you get us some milkshakes?” suggested Cleo.
Britney looked from Cleo to the back of the office.
“We don’t have them here,” said Cleo patiently, “you’ll have to go around the corner and get them. A chocolate for me. John, what kind would you like?”
“My name's Josh.”
“Oh, right. Sorry. What kind?”
“Vanilla, please.”
“A vanilla for Josh. Lindsay? Milkshake?”
“No,” came Lindsay’s voice from her workstation.
“Alright then, Britney. One chocolate, one vanilla, and whatever you’d like.” Cleo handed her some money. “And don’t come back without them.”
Britney didn’t look happy, but she took the money from Cleo and went slowly out the door. Once outside, however, she moved fast, as though eager to get back as fast as possible.
Cleo leaned back in her seat and said with a contented sigh, “The place around the corner isn’t open yet today. It’ll take her about a half hour to find someplace else.”
Josh didn’t quite understand. “You don’t want her working?”
“Oh, Josh, it’s not like she’d get any work done this morning anyway. Not with Aiden here.”
“I don’t get it.” Josh pulled up a chair to sit at Cleo’s desk.
Cleo waited until the sound of typing came from the still-occupied cubicle, then lowered her voice to say, “Well, those two that work here, Lindsay and Britney? They’re what we call Imaginary groupies. Do you know about the Imaginary World?”
Josh nodded. “Yeah. Aiden, Larry, and Steve told me a little bit about it.”
“Oh, you know Larry. How’s he doing?”
“Good, I guess.” Something popped into his mind, and he added, “Aiden gave him your phone number the other night.”
“And he hasn’t used it yet?” Cleo looked disappointed.
Josh regretted saying anything about the note. To change the subject, he asked, “So about the groupies?”
“Right, the groupies,” said Cleo, looking down at her desk. “About the groupies,” she repeated, this time looking at Josh. “They’re regular people like you” (it registered in Josh’s mind that she had said “like you,” not “like us”) “that have somehow found out about the Imaginary World and are, well, really big fans. These two, I like to call them Team Aiden and Team Larry.” At Josh’s puzzled expression, she explained, “They’re werewolf and vampire fans, respectively.”
It made sense. He had heard about things like that, where two groups hated on each other over pretend characters. He wondered if the rivalry was even more intense with real people. It had to be like his father, a Yankees fan, and his uncle, who loved the Red Sox. As brothers, they got along fine as long as baseball wasn’t mentioned.
“So what are you?” Josh asked.
“Pardon?” Cleo raised an eyebrow.
“You’re not a regular person, are you?”
There was a pause while Cleo drummed her fingernails on the desk. She said, “No, Josh. I am, in fact, Cleopatra VII Philopator, the last pharaoh of Ancient Egypt. The Cleopatra. At least, that’s who I originally was. Now I’m Cleo Chickaboom, half owner of Staffing Solutions.”
Josh studied the smiling woman across the desk. “You don’t look like a mummy. Are you some kind of ghost?”
With a smile, she answered, “No, Josh, I’m what you’d call a reanimation. In current terminology, a zombie.”
Josh looked closely at her, checking for what his video games taught him were the normal signs for detecting a zombie. There were no large patches of skin missing. There were no arms detaching themselves. And, most importantly, there was no moaning for brains.
“Why aren’t you moaning for brains?” Josh asked.
This caused a high, twittering laugh from Cleo. “Oh, Josh, we aren’t like that at all. Well, not anymore. That came from the old mummy days when, as part of the mummification process, the brain was removed. When we came back to life, we sought the bits and pieces that were taken out. The second-hand brain I ended up with, unfortunately, wasn’t a perfect match. I forget stuff all the time.”
The phone rang. Lindsay picked it up before Cleo had a chance. A moment later, Lindsay called, “Cleo, Mr. Pitt’s on line one.”
While muttering something about “another one” under her breath, Cleo reached for her phone, but stopped halfway there. “Could you hang on a second, Josh?”
“Sure.” It occurred to him that everyone up front would be busy and this would be a good chance to sneak a peek at the back rooms. “Do you have a bathroom I could use?”
She pointed toward the back as she spoke into the phone. “Darling, how are the wife and kids?”
Josh set off, snooping. He poked his head into the room Cleo pointed to and saw what looked like a break room. A round table sat in the middle, and cabinets and a refrigerator lined the back wall. An open door near the fridge led to the bathroom.
Instead of heading for the bathroom, Josh went through the door he had seen Aiden use.
He found himself in a long hallway. The wall on his right only went up to his chest. From the other side of the half-wall, he heard Siegfried. “Mr. Midnight's been having some kind of ripple effect on the Real World. That day when you stopped a robbery and had a run-in with those punks later on? That was just the beginning. Events like that are becoming more common. You have to be more careful with those kids.”
Crouching down and creeping forward, Josh peeked over the top of the wall, looking down into what appeared to be a gymnasium. Standing in the middle, on a blue-matted area, was a large, hairy beast. Only the fact that it was wearing Aiden’s clothes made Josh recognize his nanny. Siegfried strode toward Aiden, carrying what looked like a pair of shiny gold gloves.
“Sunguard gauntlets,” Siegfried said as he came to a stop in front of Aiden and held them up. “The only thing that can touch a wraith. You try your teeth or claws and you’ll go right though like he’s not even there.”
Aiden took the gloves and tried putting them on. With his werewolf paws, he wasn’t able to do it.
“Yeah, I thought you’d have trouble like that,” growled Siegfried. “You’ll have to put them on before changing. Or I can ask around for ones that’ll fit better, but I doubt I’ll find any. I had enough trouble finding these.”
Aiden grew less hairy. His snout turned back into a nose. It took about three seconds, but human Aiden reappeared, putting the gauntlets on without a word. Once they were in place, he changed back again.
Josh knew that he was a werewolf. He had been present for a trans
formation, but his eyes had been closed. This time, he saw the change. Aiden began by lowering his head and hunching his back. His arms flexed like a bodybuilder showing off his muscles. Aiden’s T-shirt strained at the seams as his muscles bulked up. Every exposed bit of skin grew long brown hair. With a pained expression, his face took on the appearance of a wolf, long and scary.
“You’ll want to watch out for the wraith’s hands,” continued Siegfried, “they have a nasty habit of turning into blades when you’re not looking. You can’t touch them, but believe me, they can touch you.” Even from this far away, Josh could see Siegfried’s thumb trace the path of one of the many scars on his face.
“Alright, Frank, let’s go,” Siegfried called. Josh looked around, trying to find Frank, but Aiden and Siegfried were the only people in the room. Then he saw it. From the corner, something emerged. It was as if a man-shaped shadow had stepped right off the wall and began a slow walk toward Aiden.
Calling it a shadow wasn’t quite right. Every shadow Josh had ever seen took the shape of whatever it lay across. This one occupied its own space, its arms and legs moving back and forth as it walked. Josh lowered himself an inch or two until he was just able to see over the wall.
“Begin!” shouted Siegfried.
Without warning, Aiden let out a fierce growl and sprung forward, his body a blur, gloved paws leading the way. The shadow moved partway through the floor so that the gloves passed harmlessly over its head, and Aiden ran right through it. By the time Aiden stopped and turned around, he had a sword-shaped shadow hovering inches from his face. Josh couldn’t be sure, but it almost looked like Aiden’s eyes darted in his direction for a fraction of a second.
“Pathetic!” barked Siegfried. “You can’t charge straight in like that. For now, the best you can hope for is to keep up with him and hope he makes a mistake. Force his hand and take advantage of his mistake.”
In reply, Aiden let out a short series of barks and growls.
“Fine,” said Siegfried with a nod. Of course he would speak Werewolf.
Aiden stretched and shook his arms, bouncing on the balls of his feet like a boxer. He hunched forward.
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