I was laughing and crying at the same time as he held me tighter. We sat there, tangled in each other’s closeness for a long time, just watching the lightning bugs fly all around us. I feel like being with Dalton is where I’m supposed to be. He makes me feel more than I have ever felt before and he genuinely loves my little girl. I have a lot of things to figure out when we get back, but right now, I just want to enjoy being with him.
Today is our last day in Alabama. My daddy is doing great, but I hate that I have to leave him. I refuse to be sad about leaving. I had an amazing night with Dalton and I plan to have a wonderful day with him and Harlee.
I take a quick shower and as I am getting dressed, my phone rings, “Morning Harp!”
“Hey girl. How’s it going?”
“Great. Dalton and I went out last night and had the best time. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back. What’s up?”
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear about it. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I know the news came as a shock to me because it’s so soon. Plus I just started dating Trent so it really sucks, ya know?”
News? What is she talking about? I hope Trent isn’t getting transferred to a different base. “What is going on with Trent? I didn’t hear about it.”
“Wait, what? Austin didn’t call you? Or better yet, Dalton hasn’t said anything?”
Okay. Now I’m more confused than ever. What the hell is going on? “Harper, I have no idea what you are talking about.”
There was an eerie silence between us before Harper let out a soft sigh, “I think you need to ask Dalton.”
“Harper Johnson, you better tell me what’s going on.”
“Okay okay. I hate that I’m the one that has to tell you. I mean, what the hell? How do you not know that the guys are deploying?”
Deploying! Why am I just hearing about this? Obviously Dalton doesn’t think enough of me to let me know. And Austin… Oh don’t even get me started on him. If anyone should have told me, he should have been the one to do it.
“No one told me. When are they leaving?”
“A little less than three weeks. They found out a few days ago.”
My head started to spin and it threw me off balance. I managed to walk a few feet to my bed before I collapsed on top of it as silent tears rolled down my face. I’m used to deployments. I’m the one who helps the other wives through it even when my husband is gone. The deployment isn’t the entire issue. My main problem is that Dalton didn’t say anything. He didn’t fucking say anything. He tells me he wants to fight for me and be with me, but he doesn’t care enough to tell me they are deploying, and in three weeks!
“Ember?”
“I’m here, sorry, Harper. I’ll call you later, okay? Love you.”
“I love you, too. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Sobbing I replied, “Why, Harp? Why didn’t he tell me? I thought we were heading in the right direction.”
“Oh honey, maybe he is just waiting for the right time. Hear him out okay?”
“I need time to think. I’ll call you later.” After hanging up, I laid on the bed, letting hundreds of emotions swirl through me. I know I’m being irrational, but I’m hurt that he didn’t tell me. I cannot let this ruin my last day here. I just can’t.
I pull myself together and head downstairs. Harlee is sitting on Dalton’s lap, laughing hysterically at the cartoon they are watching. I cleared my throat to announce my presence.
“Babe, we didn’t hear you come down. How’d you sleep?”
“Good. Thanks.” Giving him a half smile, I walk over to Harlee and kiss the top of her head and then head into the kitchen for some much needed coffee. As I took my first sip, Dalton walks in, “Are you okay, Em? You look… upset?”
Upset? Hell yes I’m upset. I’m also hurt, confused, and I don’t even know what else. “Oh, um, I’m just sad that we have to leave tomorrow. That’s all.” Turning toward the counter, I pour more sugar in my coffee. I need to clear my head before I yell, or cry.
Dalton wraps his arms around my waist, pressing his chest firmly against my back, “Is that the only reason, babe? It seems like something else is wrong.”
This! This right here is why I am so confused. The flirting and terms of endearment telling me he does have feelings for me, along with the fact that he actually told me so, but him not telling me about the deployment is making me second guess everything. I squeeze his hand and slip out of his hold, “Yeah, I’m good. I just hate that we have to leave. So, what’s the plan for today?”
“Harlee has a list of things she wants to do. She woke me up this morning by running into the bedroom and jumping on top of me. She was so excited to get a jumpstart on our fun day, but I told her that we needed to let you sleep a little longer.”
“She really likes you. Thanks for watching her so I could sleep a bit longer. So, what’s the first activity on the schedule?”
“You don’t need to thank me. I love spending time with her.” Smiling, he cupped my cheeks and pressed his lips to my forehead. “Harlee wants to go fishing. I was pretty excited when she told me that this morning. The girl knows how to plan a date, just like her momma.”
Harlee is such a country girl, but she still loves anything pink and wearing dresses. My daddy took her fishing a lot before the accident, so I’m not surprised that she wants to go. I need to make time to ride Blue one more time. I miss being able to hop on his back anytime I want. Austin refuses to let me take the horses to Georgia with us. Just another way he can control me I guess.
I finish my coffee and grab a small bite to eat before we gather the fishing poles and head to the pond. I haven’t fished since I was little. My dad is an avid sportsman, so Alex and I went fishing and hunted a lot with him when we were kids. I miss those days. I really just miss my family and hometown in general. Ugg. I’m a mess today. Alright, it’s time to put my happy face on and try to enjoy my last day.
Something is wrong with Ember, I can tell, but she won’t tell me what it is. I believed her when she said she was sad to leave, but I know there is something else bothering her. I hate that I will have to add to her sadness when I tell her about the deployment. I haven’t figured out when I’m going to tell her, but it has to be soon.
“Peaches, watch me.” Harlee took her little, pink fishing pole and cast it out into the pond like a champ. We had to use plastic bait because she didn’t want us to hurt the worms.
I asked her why it was okay to catch a fish but not hurt the worms and she gave me a huge lecture on how the worm would die and that the fish are okay because we put them back in the water. For a three year-old, she is extremely smart.
As Harlee and I cast our poles into the water, I look over at Ember as she sits in a sun chair, deep in thought. I want to make her tell me what’s wrong, but I can’t do that. I can only encourage her to open up to me.
“Peaches, I got one! Look, look!”
I cannot help but laugh as this sweet little girl uses all her strength to pull this fish in. Just as the pole is about to fly out of her hands, I grab the end and help her reel it in.
“Wow, Moose, that’s a big one! Hold him up so I can take a picture.”
Harlee was beaming with excitement.
I remember being just as thrilled when I was little and went fishing with my dad. Hell, I still get excited when I catch one.
“Hurry, it’s all gooey and stuff. Take the peekcha, quick!”
It’s hard to take a photo of a toddler, but add a fish that she doesn’t like holding to the mix, and the difficulty reaches an all-time high. “Just hold still for two seconds, Moose. Smile!”
After getting a clear shot, we placed “apple pie” back into the pond. She said he needed to be named. I have no idea what her obsession with nicknames that relate to food is, but I love it.
“We have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow, Moose. Are you ready for a road trip?”
“I wanna stay. You and momma hafta stay too, Peaches.”
Harlee’s eyes started to water and my heart broke. I felt horrible for mentioning leaving. I stupidly thought she would be excited for a road trip. Bending down to her level, I wiped a tear that had fallen down her cheek, “Moose, how about we don’t think about leaving. Let’s just have fun today.”
Harlee nodded and picked up her pole. After casting it, she turned to me, “Peaches?”
“Yeah, Moose?”
“Will we still be friends when we get back?”
She looked so sad when she asked and I had to ward off the tears that were threatening. My manliness has left and in its place are all these emotions I have never felt before. Emotions that stem from how I feel about Ember and Harlee.
Lowering my voice so Ember didn’t hear, I said, “Oh, Moose. Of course we will. I’ll be gone for a while, but we will always be friends. I promise. Come here.”
She ran into my arms and hugged me. I caught Ember out of the corner of my eye as silent tears rolled down her face. The fact that both my girls are hurting right now, is too much. I have this primal need to make sure they are both happy and I will make damn sure that I do.
Harlee picked up her pole again and looked back at Ember, “Momma! Come fish wit us.” Smiling, Ember walked toward us and grabbed a pole. “Watch me, momma. This is how you get it in the water.”
We laughed as Harlee showed Ember how to properly cast her line into the pond. I could sense Ember was still sad, but she did a great job of covering it up around Harlee. I need to fix this. I need to know what is wrong.
We spent a good two hours at the pond. Harlee caught more fish than Ember and I combined. She was so excited to tell her PawPaw how many she caught. After leaving the pond, we saddled up the horses for one last trail ride. Harlee cried when she had to say goodbye to her pony, and Ember was equally as emotional when she said goodbye to Blue. I know how badly she wants to have the horses in Georgia. I don’t understand why Austin has to make such a big deal about something so trivial.
We headed to the house to meet everyone for lunch. We plan to visit with Ember’s dad tonight, so this will be our last meal with her mom, Alex, and Sidney before we leave early tomorrow morning. Alex and I kept the kids busy in the living room while the women prepared lunch. I offered to help, but apparently keeping Harlee and Tate entertained is more than enough help. Harlee laid on the floor watching cartoons and Tate was happy in his bouncy seat. I was deep in thought when Alex snapped his fingers to get my attention.
Lifting both hands, he signed, “Thanks for coming with my sister.”
“I’m glad I could come and offer her support. Austin couldn’t get out of work.”
Alex eyed me suspiciously for a minute before lifting his hands again, “I bet he could have gotten out of work. He never comes here and he hates when any of us go to their house.”
I wasn’t sure what everyone’s feelings toward Austin were. I seem to sense some anger in regards to him, especially at this moment. I was so worried about how they would feel about me, but they all seemed to accept Ember and my friendship and no one has questioned it.
Not wanting to add fuel to the fire, I replied, “He’s busy with work. We are gearing up to deploy in a couple of weeks. I haven’t told Ember yet. I don’t know how to. It’s been rough for her with your dad and everything, I just haven’t been able to do it.”
“Tell her before someone else does, Dalton. My sister is strong, but she will crumble if she finds out you are holding back. Why didn’t Austin tell her?”
Oh hell. I was hoping he wouldn’t ask me that, “He said it would be easier if I told her.”
Alex rolled his eyes and looked around the room to make sure no one had walked in, “He’s a coward. That’s why he wants you to do it.”
He’s more than a coward, but I’m not sure how much Alex knows, if anything, so I need to tread carefully. Before I could sign my reply, he lifted his hands first, “You have feelings for my sister, don’t you?”
Damn. How did he know? We’ve only acted like friends around everyone. I mean, we are just friends. Of course I have feelings for her, but she’s married and I respect that, for now. “I do. I know it’s wrong because she’s married but…”
Before I could finish, Alex put his left hand out flat, palm side up, and karate chopped it with his right hand, signing for me to “stop” talking. I was expecting the third degree lecture from a protective big brother, but when his eyes softened and his body relaxed, I felt relived, but mostly confused I guess. “I know my sister. I’m intuitive to her feelings. She can fool everyone with her fake smile, but she has never been able to fool me. When she is with you, her smile is real. She is happy for the first time in a long time. I see it, I feel it, so don’t fuck it up.”
Before I could answer, Sidney came in to tell us that lunch was ready. Alex patted me on the back as we made our way into the kitchen.
When we finished eating, Ember’s mom turned to Harlee and said, “Oh my little Harlee girl. Mamie is going to miss you so much. I’m so glad you came to visit us.”
“I’m gonna miss you too. I wish momma and Peaches would stop workin so we could stay.”
Ember scooted Harlee closer to her and kissed the top of her head, “If Peaches and I didn’t have to work, we would love to stay, but we will all do fun things together when we get back though, okay?”
Harlee put her chin to her chest as she shuffled a few uneaten green beans around her plate with a fork. Ember gently took the fork and set it down on the table, “Hey, what’s wrong? Mommy doesn’t like when you’re sad.”
“You said we can all do fun things, but Peaches said he’s gonna be gone for a while.”
Oh. Fuck! Ember shot daggers at me. Her reaction is confusing. I thought she would be confused by Harlee’s statement, but oh no, she is pissed off.
Standing up, Ember said, “Excuse me. I just need a minute. Or several.” She walked out of the kitchen and straight out the front door. When I finally stopped looking in the direction that Ember had gone, I turned to see everyone staring at me.
Sidney raised an eyebrow at me, “What did you do?”
Alex snapped to get our attention. Looking at me he signed, “I think she knows, man. You better fix this. Now.”
Nodding, I head outside after Ember. How does she know? How the fuck does she know? As I walked down the porch, I see Ember down the driveway, heading toward the barn. I make my way inside and see her petting Blue in his stall. Tears are streaming like a summer rain down her face and her sobs are so loud, my heart breaks with every noise she makes.
“Baby?” She won’t even look at me. Fuuuuck! “Ember? Please talk to me.”
Ember buried her face into Blue’s neck, “Why, Dalton? Why d-didn’t you t-tell me? I thought I meant s-something to y-you.” Her words were stuttered from her crying. I don’t know how she found out.
“You had a shitty week, Em. I found out when your dad woke up and you were so happy. I couldn’t ruin that. Please, look at me.”
Her face was still nestled against Blue, “I s-should have heard it f-from you. There w-were other times you c-could have told me, but i-instead I have to hear it f-from my best f-friend.”
Harper. I forget her and Trent are a couple now. I walk closer and grab her hand, but she pulls away. I grab her hand again and she struggled against me, “D-don’t touch m-me, Dalton. D-don’t…”
Her sobs were out of control now and she struggled a few seconds more before her shoulders sank in defeat. I pulled her against my chest and backed out of the stall, closing the door behind me.
My arms were wrapped tightly around her as I lowered her to the floor and pulled her onto my lap. She cried against my chest as I stroked her hair. I don’t know if she is upset we are leaving or because I didn’t tell her. I never expected this type of reaction.
“Baby, talk to me. Tell me how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. Are you jus
t upset because I didn’t tell you right away?”
She sniffled a few times as her cries slowly dissipated, “We are just starting…” She sucked in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. I kissed the top of her head and pulled her tighter against my chest. “We are just starting to get to know each other, Dalton. I know it’s not your fault that you have to leave. I’ve been through this and helped hundreds of women through this so many times, but I feel like I am losing something I just found after spending my whole life trying to find it.”
“You’re not losing me, Em. I will call you and email, we can skype and write letters. Hey, look at me.” She sat up enough to look me in the eyes. I cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead, letting my lips linger for a few moments. I think we both needed that bit of intimacy.
“I know we haven’t known each other long and that we just started down this path, but I feel like I’ve always known you. I feel like I was missing this huge part of myself and when I’m with you and Harlee, I finally feel complete.”
I pulled her against me as she snuggled her head against my chest, just like before. I understand where she is coming from. This whole thing is new to us. Having feelings for anyone is new to me entirely and feeling wanted and loved is something Ember hasn’t felt in a very long time. I’ve never believed in soulmates or that instant love crap that people talk about, but neither of us can deny the chemistry we have. I just have this carnal need to be with her.
“Just because I’m deploying, doesn’t mean you’re losing me. I will hate being away from you, every single second away will be miserable, but we will make this work. I promise, Ember.”
Ember Skies Page 11