by Candy Caine
I’d thought when Raven got married she’d straighten up and fly right. She’d snagged the most wonderful guy in the entire world, the one man I truly ever wanted. And if he were my man, I’d make it my business to be home every night to keep him happy and satisfied. My little sister had to have a few loose screws to behave the way she did. She treated that man like dirt. If she didn’t watch out, she was going to lose him one day.
We said good-night, and I watched Wayne walk back to his apartment. Again I thought how my little sister had better start taking better care of her husband. He was too prime to lose.
* * *
One night nearly a week later, my phone rang at eleven o’clock. I’d been about to make myself a soothing cup of herbal tea and crawl into bed with a hot romance novel.
“Rochelle, it’s me, Wayne. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No. You sound upset. What’s wrong?”
“Something’s wrong with Ty—”
“I’ll be right there,” I said, hanging up the phone. I threw a raincoat over my nightie, grabbed my keys and rushed out the door. My sister and her family lived only two doors down. I’d found them the apartment after she’d gotten married and needed a place to live.
As I knocked on the door, I could hear Ty crying. Wayne looked pale and worried as he gingerly handed his son to me. “He’s been this way for more than an hour.”
“Where’s my sister?” I asked, already knowing the answer as I carried my nephew into his room to check him out on his dressing table.
“Working,” Wayne said, following close behind me. “Lately, that’s all she does. I think she’s forgotten she has a baby to care for.”
At this hour? It was difficult to work in my raincoat, so I took it off, forgetting that I was just in a nightie. I’d feared at first that Ty’s problem might be his appendix; however, it turned out that Ty was only very gassy and needed a good burping.
“Wayne, relax. It’s not serious. Ty’s gassy.”
“That’s a relief. Is there something you can do to make him more comfortable?”
“I’ve got to get some of the gas out of him. Did you burp him after he had his bottle?”
“Sure. I always do.”
“Well, he’s still got a great deal of air trapped inside that little body of his and that’s what’s making him uncomfortable. Can you please hand me a towel to put on my shoulder?”
Wayne disappeared a moment before coming back with a small towel, which he handed to me.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks.” I placed the towel on my shoulder and held Ty upright against my chest with his head resting on the towel in case he spit up. Gently, I patted his back and was rewarded with a little burp. It wasn’t enough. He didn’t have to start fussing and fretting again for me to realize he was still very gassy.
Poor Wayne looked so worried, and he watched what I was doing closely. I laid Ty on his back on the dressing table again and began to move his pudgy little legs in a gentle bicycling motion, slowly pushing one leg up near his chest and pulling it back while pushing the opposite leg up to his chest. I repeated the motions several times as we listened to the baby’s bodily functions. Alternating between burping and farting, he cracked us both up. Finally Ty seemed comfortable enough to be able to sleep. That was about the same time my sister came breezing through the door as if she hadn’t a care in the world.
Raven was dressed as if she was coming from a dinner date, not work. One look at me and she was on the offense. “Do you always entertain my husband in a nightie when I’m not home?”
Embarrassed, I grabbed my raincoat and struggled into it as quickly as I could. “Ty wasn’t feeling good and Wayne needed help.”
“Sure. So you came running over dressed for bed,” she said in a sarcastic tone as she tapped the toe of one of her red high-heels.
I wanted to grab her and shake her for so many reasons my head spun with them. She looked like she’d just been out on the town and not working…unless she had the kind of job that I didn’t want to put a name to. That would certainly explain the late hours. “Why are you acting this way?” I demanded. “You should have been here for your child, not me.” I left as fast as my feet could carry me, feeling as if I’d done something wrong.
What had happened to the sweet kid she used to be? The two of us had once been so close. I guess things between us began to fall apart around the time my mom was killed in an auto accident. I was eighteen and Raven, fifteen. She began to get into trouble—doing stupid things like smoking in the girls’ room at school and shoplifting. She’d become a handful, and I feared she’d end up in jail or worse if I didn’t get her off the streets.
Finally I convinced her to take a job in a local supermarket as a cashier. It was there she’d eventually met Wayne. He was an assistant manager. They began to date and she ended up pregnant. I figured now that she was married with a child, she’d hang up her party shoes for more sensible ones and take care of her family. I could see, however, that she hadn’t. And what made things worse was that she was hurting a wonderful guy who didn’t deserve it.
I knew it was wrong to have feelings for Wayne, but lately it was getting harder and harder to fight them, especially when he and I were thrown together more and more. Sometimes I found myself wondering how he felt about me. Secretly, I’d hoped he longed for me, as well, even though I knew it would be wrong to nurture any feelings between us.
Her treatment of Wayne wasn’t the only thing Raven did that bothered me. She’d often borrow things, like clothing, and never bring them back. Then when I wanted to wear a particular blouse or skirt on a date, I often couldn’t find it. Most of the time, it turned out to be something that my sister had borrowed and not returned. Take my black knit skirt, for instance. One of the doctors at the medical center where I worked had invited me to a dinner party. I figured that the black skirt was the perfect thing to wear to the party. But when I looked in my closet, it wasn’t there. Thinking back to the last time I’d seen it, I remembered Raven had borrowed it ages ago and hadn’t returned it. I nearly stormed over to her apartment to get it. Since it was Saturday, I expected her to be home.
Wayne answered the door. His handsome face broke into a grin when he saw it was me.
“Hi.”
That smile warmed me inside and out. “Is my sister here?”
“No, she’s out.”
“Damn!”
“What’s wrong?”
“I needed back a skirt she borrowed.”
“For tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Well, why don’t you come in and see if it’s in her closet? Ty’s napping so I can help you look.”
I followed Wayne into the bedroom and opened Raven’s side of the closet. Without warning, shoeboxes came hurling out like guided missiles, narrowly missing my head by inches.
“I guess your sister isn’t a regular Suzie homemaker,” Wayne said, and we laughed together.
“I guess some things never change. Sharing a room with her was always an adventure. I never knew what I’d be walking into. Wait! I think I see my black skirt.”
“Be careful,” he said. “Those other boxes up there don’t look too steady.” And sure enough they, too, came tumbling down, forcing me backward into his arms.
Our eyes met and locked a moment before his mouth gently covered mine. The taste of his sweet lips wasn’t enough for me. I needed more and found myself kissing him back with all the pent-up passion I felt. Then reality stepped in and I pulled away. “We can’t do this,” I said between breaths.
“But you want me. And I need you.”
“This is wrong. You’re my sister’s husband.”
But Wayne either didn’t hear my protests or didn’t care. Instead he moaned my name into my hair as his hands caressed my face and neck, sending currents of desire through me. His lips seared a path down my neck. I could no longer resist as his lips sought mine once more. His hand fondled one of my breasts through the
fabric of my blouse. I could feel my nipple harden as he bent his head and gently nipped it with his teeth. My moans drowned out the small voice in my head pleading with me to stop. Wayne opened my blouse and kissed the rising swells above my bra. I reached behind my back and released the catch so he could suckle my breast. Though I wanted that man more than I could say, I tried to apply the brakes to what seemed to be a runaway train.
As Wayne pulled me closer and I felt his hardness against me, I whispered breathlessly, “What about Raven? What if she—”
He placed a finger across my lips. “She won’t be home till after dinner,” he said, then swept me off my feet and onto the bed.
I knew this was wrong. What we were about to do was unforgivable. Yet I felt compelled, caught by a wave of passion that I had to ride wherever it took me. He slid off my jeans and panties in one fluid motion. I watched transfixed as he stepped out of his jeans. His manhood, thick and large, was ready for me. I don’t know how many times I had fantasized about this moment and now it was actually coming true!
I took his hand and pulled him down to me. His lips captured mine and his tongue made love to my mouth, leaving me breathless as he parted my thighs and gently inserted two fingers. I rubbed against his fingers and moaned once more. I desperately needed to have him inside me. To complete and make me whole, I thought.
As if reading my mind, Wayne nudged the gentle folds of my sex open with his manhood and slid slowly inside, filling me completely. Our bodies began to move in unison. Every pleasurable stroke took me one step closer to heaven. Before long the pace had quickened and we climaxed together in each other’s arms. It had been as wonderful as I’d envisioned it.
Lying in his strong arms afterward, I came to my senses, thinking about the consequences of what we’d done. “We must never let this happen again, Wayne.”
“Why? I’m not sorry it happened. And I doubt you are, either.”
I shook my head. “What we did was wrong. You’re still my sister’s husband.”
“In name only, Rochelle.”
“What do you mean by that, Wayne?” I’d heard the ominous sound of his words.
“We hardly sleep together, lately. I can’t even remember the last time we made love.”
I looked into his sad blue eyes. How could Raven not desire to sleep with this incredibly sexy man, who had just fulfilled my every desire? Was she crazy?
“I think she’s tired of me—bored is a better word.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because she’d rather be out working than home here with me. And lately you’ve been more of a mother to Ty than she has.”
“Have you tried talking to her?”
“Yes, but do you see her? She blows in and out of here as if the apartment had a revolving door. Obviously she couldn’t care less about me or Ty.”
“Sometimes I don’t understand my sister. Perhaps you two should go see a marriage counselor.”
“I doubt she’d go. She obviously thinks everything is fine just the way it is.”
I shook my head in wonderment. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not any longer,” he said, stroking my cheek.
“It doesn’t change the fact that we mustn’t do this again. If Raven found us in bed together…”
“Let her!”
“No. It would hurt her.”
“And what about me? Don’t you think I’m hurt by the way she’s been acting?”
“My sister’s a fool.”
“Besides—” his voice was soft “—I’m in love with you.”
I went very still when I heard that. I’d always wanted to hear those words spoken by him, but not in this situation. It was wrong—so very wrong. My tears began to fall as I murmured, “No, please. Don’t make it worse.” I picked up my things and hastily put them on, then grabbed my skirt from the closet, despite Wayne’s pleas for me to stay a little longer. I knew in my heart that I wanted that man more than I’d ever wanted any man, but I made a solemn promise that I wouldn’t allow what had happened between us to happen again while he was still married to my sister.
For the next week or so I tried to avoid Wayne. I hoped that time might lessen our feelings and desire for each other. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I even went on a blind date, something I ordinarily would never do. Emmy, a maternity nurse I’d known for several years, fixed me up with her brother. Ray was a nice-looking, sweet guy with a great sense of humor. But even though he was fun to be with, he wasn’t Wayne. The problem was that I compared every man I met to Wayne. And it was no different with Ray.
“Rochelle, you’re exactly as my sister described you.” Ray and I were having a quiet dinner in a Chinese restaurant downtown.
“Is that good or bad?”
He chuckled. “Fishing for a compliment, are we?”
“I’ll take them from wherever I can get them.”
“Okay, then. I’m looking at a beautiful black woman with a gorgeous figure. However, I do believe you’ve got something weighing mighty heavily on your mind.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because part of you is a million miles away.”
“I’m so sorry, Ray.”
“Is it another man?”
“You’re beginning to freak me out. Are you clairvoyant?”
“No.” He smiled. “Only observant. I glimpse such sadness in your eyes.”
“To be honest with you, I have feelings for a married man.”
“I know it’s probably none of my business, but I’ve been there and done that. I can assure you there’s no future in it.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
Ray smiled again. “But since when did good advice ever stop anyone from taking a bumpy ride on love’s merry-go-round and learning from firsthand experience?”
“I wish we’d met at a different time in my life.”
“Me, too. I think we could have started something really nice.”
I smiled and touched his hand. He took my hand, raised it to his lips and kissed it. Our eyes locked for a long moment before he called for the check.
Getting into bed later. I thought about Ray. He was a sweet, sensitive man with a good job, definitely the type of man I should be with, not someone married to my own flesh and blood. I imagined Ray was quite the romantic, never forgetting a woman’s birthday or an anniversary. But despite all those fine qualities, he paled next to Wayne. No other man could possibly fill Wayne’s shoes or the part of my heart that he owned. Damn! Why couldn’t I forget Wayne?
I missed Wayne. Even though I purposely stayed away, I still wondered how he was feeling. I truly hoped my sister had opened her eyes and begun to appreciate the treasure she’d married. I closed my own eyes, imagining our lips locked in a passionate kiss as Wayne stroked my body into a frenzy with his long fingers. Then Ray’s words of caution came back to me and I questioned why I chose to torture myself.
The following evening Wayne knocked on my door. Ty was with him.
“Can I speak to you a minute, Rochelle?”
I opened the door. Ty wanted me to hold him. I took him in my arms and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Yes.”
I took out the portable playpen I kept in the closet for those times I babysat my nephew, and put him into it. When the coffee was ready, I set two steaming mugs on the table, one right in front of Wayne. It was difficult to control my overwhelming desire to kiss him. Wayne, however, took charge of the situation. Before I could react, he took me in his arms and kissed me. I tried to protest and push him away, but my resistance was too weak. His tongue pushed its way into my mouth and took possession. His hands caressed the planes of my back, sending jolts of pleasure through me. Despite my desire to keep kissing him, I pulled away.
Releasing me, he asked, “Why have you been avoiding me?”
“To prevent something exactly like this from happening. I meant what I told you th
at Saturday afternoon. We can’t be committing adultery.”
“We belong together.”
“You belong to my sister.”
“I can’t continue to perpetuate the mistake I made.”
I sank into my chair as Wayne took my hand in his. There were tears in his eyes. I felt my own heart respond.
“The truth is that I married your sister simply because I made her pregnant. And after having said that, the ironic thing is, though I love Ty, I now doubt that he’s even my child.”
I couldn’t believe what Wayne was telling me, and I was too speechless to interrupt.
“Raven was a party girl and a great deal of fun to hang around with, but I never loved her. When she introduced me to you, I knew you were the one woman I’d always wanted—the one I’d been destined for. The night I was going to break off with her and ask you to dinner, she told me she was pregnant. I thought I was the only guy she was sleeping with, but I found out differently later from another guy she’d been with.”
Tears began to slip from my eyes. Wayne kissed them away. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, Rochelle. I often tried to imagine how it would be to make love to you. When it finally happened, it was every bit as wonderful as I’d dreamed it would be and more. Staying away from you is almost like taking away the very air I breathe. Especially now that I know you feel the same way about me.”
“Wayne, I’m not my sister. I know right from wrong. As long as you’re married to Raven, I must stay out of your bed.”
“Is this what you want?”
“It’s the way it must be.”
My heart was breaking in two as I watched Wayne take Ty home. Despite my honorable intentions, I heard a tiny voice inside my head calling me a fool. That night I cried myself to sleep.
* * *
A few days later, I bumped into Michelle, a sweet maternity nurse I’d gone to school with. She looked terrific. I guess being a newlywed can do that to you. After we talked for a few moments about this and that, she asked me a strange question.
“Did your sister divorce that cute husband of hers already?”
“No. Why do you ask?”
“Because the other night I saw Raven in Devine’s drinking with a guy who definitely didn’t look like the person you introduced me to in the supermarket. Not unless he’s been pumping iron and shaved his head.”