Alexander had packed up and moved in with his parents upon learning what I had done. I couldn’t say I was surprised and I knew it would be a long time before he’d forgive me, if ever. I could feel the hate and grief seething from him as he’d walked past me after the meeting.
Duncan and Holly sat at the kitchen table along with Gavin and myself, all of us in silence after Ryan had been sent to school. “You’re going to have to be careful,” Duncan said.
“Why? You’re the one who told me I needed a show of strength, didn’t you? I offered to let anyone who wanted to challenge me come forward last night and no one did.”
“No,” he said. “At least not openly. You scared them into silence.”
I knew he was right. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Well, you could have fought more honorably for starters.”
His words stung. I knew he was right but my decisions had all been made and there was no going back. “Listen,” I said, “Maybe it’s about time that you and Holly were back in your own place. We’ve troubled you long enough and now that I have no orphans to feed or progeny to look after it will just be Gavin and I. We should be able to look after our own children.”
“Should be, yes,” Holly said. “But can you? That remains to be seen. You’re not accounting for the fact that you are going to get sick very soon, Rachel. And what about the orphans that are still in Chapel Island? Will you do the same to them?”
“I think she has to,” Gavin said.
“No, she doesn’t have to,” Duncan said. “She could spare them. Show them she’s got a shred of decency left.”
I stood and pounded my fist on the table. “Don’t you dare judge me!” I screamed. “The first time I met you there was a fucking cyclist tied up in the cellar of your house on Kelly’s Mountain. How long did you feed off him before he died? A week? A month? At least I took some mercy on the people I’ve killed. I didn’t torture them in the process. Decency? Don’t make me laugh. You of all people have no right to lecture me on decency.”
Before Duncan could respond I made my way up the stairs and slammed the door to my bedroom shut behind me. I regretted what I’d said but at the same time had no intention of taking it back. Yes, Duncan had been alone and hurting at the time and he’d changed by leaps and bounds since then, but still, his judgement of me was wounding.
A slight cramp hit my stomach and I lay down on the bed, staring out the window for what seemed like a long time, lost in my own thoughts. A while later I heard the click of the bedroom door opening. “Can you stand some company?” Gavin asked.
I kept my face to the window. “I guess,” I said.
Gavin pulled up a chair and blocked my view, forcing me to look at him. “You’re a little pale,” he said.
“Just a little stomach cramp, nothing that won’t pass,” I said. “It sounds quiet in here. Did I scare everyone off.”
“I wouldn’t say you scared them off. Duncan and Holly took the girls for a ride in the car. They’ll be back soon. Do you really want them to leave?”
I sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Holly was pretty upset about it. She knows you might need her. She doesn’t want to go.”
“I know I might need her, but I certainly don’t deserve her. Maybe I don’t deserve anyone’s help, but it is what it is.”
“Well, you know you’ve always got mine,” he smiled.
“You aren’t mad? What about the knowledge the niads could have given us?”
“What’s done is done, and there’s no way to know if they even had any to begin with. It was probably a long shot. Our best bet is to start banking the blood we’re going to need about two to three months before Ryan will need it. Jade’s blood is our best, and probably only, option.”
“I know,” I said, sitting up and taking him by the hand. “Now that this mess is almost over I think we just need to focus on that and keeping the clan together and unified.”
“Duncan is right though you know. You’re ruling with fear here now. Even those who have supported you might be having second thoughts.”
“I know. I just couldn’t see any other way around it though Gavin. I’ll use whatever I have to so that we stay cohesive.”
He looked doubtful, but whatever doubts he had he let them stay silent for which I was grateful. “What are you going to do now?” he asked.
“I’m going to pay a visit to Ely. Decisions need to be made about the orphans there.”
“What do you think would be best?”
“I think they need to die.”
Chapter ten
Gavin and I entered the grounds of the Chapel Island sanctuary using the honorary pendants we’d been given upon Ely agreeing to take on as many orphans as he could when Soldiers Cove had become overwhelmed. Unlike the Soldiers Cove sanctuary this one was less gothic and more rustic. Nature played a big part in the design and instead of darkened, gothic hallways and meeting rooms, windows provided an enormous amount of natural light.
The centerpiece of the entrance was a large tree that had grown up through the floor. The sanctuary had been constructed around it. It was a magnificent redwood, something that wasn’t native to Nova Scotia at all and supposedly impossible to grow in our climate but there it was. The massive tree had to be at least a few hundred years old. It looked out of place and part of the structure all at once.
We stepped inside and a guard immediately stopped us. “I’ve been instructed not to let you in,” he said. “Sorry.”
I couldn’t say I was surprised. He held out his hand. “I’m going to have to take those as well,” he said, motioning to our pendants.
Gavin and I exchanged a look, then unclasped them and handed them over. “Ely has been sent for. You can wait in there,” he said pointing to a small room off the main entrance that housed a library of sorts. Every sanctuary had one. “But please, don’t try to leave that room or go anywhere else.”
“I understand,” I said, nodding. Gavin and I each took a seat on the plush couch, sinking down into the cushions to wait.
“It looks like our time here as honored guests may be coming to a close.”
“I can’t say I’m surprised,” I said.
Ely must have been off doing something important or further away than usual because we waited there for what seemed like an eternity. As I sat a deep and gnawing depression settled into my body and suddenly I felt as though I were carrying the weight of a thousand chains. The ghost of Jacob Marley would not have had as many as I felt around my neck at that moment. I knew right away what it was. It was, of course, the beginning of the blood bond sickness. Slowly the breaking of the bond with Leiv was starting to show itself. Suddenly I was overcome with uncontrollable thoughts of suicide. All I wanted to do was to find a stake and drive it though my heart. I found myself looking around the room for any piece of wood that would do it. A chair rung, a table leg, a piece of splintered wood from the door. There were a million options and I wanted more than anything to actually take one of them. To be out of my misery once and for all. Although I had not felt this feeling in a while, it was a familiar one to me nonetheless.
Before I had been turned I had spent ample amounts of time in psychiatric hospitals. Sometimes for ‘psychosis’ and other times for simply wanting to end my miserable and meaningless life. The burden of existing was far too much for me to carry at times and so I periodically found myself wanting to slit my wrists or overdose on medication. The feelings were strong then and they were strong now. It was unsettling to say the least.
“How are you doing?” Gavin said, noticing how quiet I’d gone.
I closed my eyes and steadied myself, putting on my best air of wellness, one mentally ill people get to practice all too often. “I’ll be fine,” I said. “I just want to get this over with.”
After a few more moments the door clicked open and Ely was standing there. His usual demeanor of pleasantness was gone and had been replaced by a harsh, offensive tone. “Rachel
,” he said. “I’m sorry it’s had to come to this, but I’m afraid I can’t let you anywhere near my sanctuary after today. I have to protect the ones Angus left behind.”
I stood, my mouth suddenly tasting like ashes. A side effect of the blood bond sickness. “With all due respect, Ely, they are my progeny and I feel I should be allowed to decide what happens to them.”
“Wrong. They were Angus’ progeny. You are their surrogate. I won’t allow you to harm them. They’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Except try to kill her from time to time,” Gavin chimed in.
I put my hand up to signal that he shouldn’t speak. “Ely,” I said, “I know I’ll never be able to thank you enough for all you’ve done for me and for them, but I really feel this is best.”
“Best for them? Or best for you?”
“Both. Now, I’d like to see them please. It won’t be painful, I promise.”
“They aren’t here,” he said.
“Where are they? I have a right to know where they are.”
“You left them in my care and I take that very seriously. They don’t need to be harmed. They will already suffer enough having to now go without your blood.”
“Ely you need to give them to me so I can right this.”
He softened a little. “Look, I know you really feel you would be doing the right thing, but I don’t and my council doesn’t either, so we will have to agree to disagree and I’ll have to ask you to leave my sanctuary.”
We followed him out the front door and walked until we stood at the edge of his sanctuary’s land and then he escorted us to the other side, quickly disappearing back to the grounds once we were through.
“Do you think they’re really not in there?” Gavin asked me, tilting his head back in the direction of what deceivingly looked like empty space.
“I don’t know where they are,” I said, “but they’re close by. I can feel them. I don’t think he’d keep them at the sanctuary.”
“Why not? That’s where they’d be most well protected. We can’t get in now.”
“I know, but I think it would just be too obvious. We have to start searching. Maybe Duncan will have an idea on how to track them.”
We began walking back toward our home and for a time Gavin was silent, deep in thought. “Rachel, maybe we should just let it go. If he’s smart he’ll take them away from here completely. I think we should just focus on getting you over Leiv and then have you catch up on spending time with the children. Maybe we can finally be a family, just the four of us. It’s been so long since we’ve had any type of normalcy.”
I turned to him, taking his face in my hands. “I know,” I said. “And I promise we will have some, and soon. But for now we need to do this. I don’t feel safe with them running around out there. I know Ely thinks he can control them, but something tells me he can’t. It’s been long enough. Those that needed my blood should have been better by now. I hold out very little hope that they’ll get over Angus.”
“What makes you say that?”
I shrugged. “I’ve felt that way for a while. I just didn’t want to say anything in case I was wrong. I should have done away with them months ago but I felt the same kind of loyalty to them that Ely feels toward them now. I sense the danger in them though, and you’ve seen it yourself. At some point he’ll have to let them go and when he does they’ll come looking for me.”
Gavin shuddered. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Neither do I.”
Chapter eleven
We had come home to find Duncan in the toolshed sharpening everyone’s skates. Tiny sparks flew from the machine as he worked, focusing on the metal to get it just perfect.
“So that’s where we stand,” I said to him after explaining what had happened with Ely.
He continued to sharpen and shape the skates as he took in what I had related. “I see,” he said finally. “So…Ely plans to hide them. Well, other than having a serious talk with him I’m not sure what you want me to do.”
I was floored. “I want you to help me track them. They’re a problem that need to be taken care of.”
Duncan stared at me for a moment, and then at Gavin, then back to me. “And by taken care of you mean you want to kill them.”
“You say that like it’s something I look forward to.”
“And do you?”
“No, of course not. It’s a necessary evil, Duncan. Surely you can see that.”
Duncan finished the last skate and gently lay it down next to the others, lining them up against the wall and removing the safety glasses he’d been wearing, which seemed downright silly since it would have taken a lot more than a stray spark from the sharpening machine to hurt his one thousand year old eyes. “Look, if you really want to track them your best bet are the hunters.”
I was surprised to hear him suggest it. “I was hoping to be a little more discreet than that.”
“Why? Ely wants to hide them, and he already knows you’ll be looking.”
“True, but he’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want me looking on his land. The hunters don’t understand those kind of boundaries. If the search took them there they’d just go and I suspect they wouldn’t be quiet about it either.”
“Look, Rachel, there’s very little chance they’ll come back to hurt you, especially once they hear what you did to the others, not to mention your own progeny. I suspect they know already and if both they and Ely are smart they’re already someplace far away from here.”
I shook my head trying to make sense of his attitude. “So, are you saying you’re refusing to help me?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. You have two children and a clan who need you here. I think you should focus on that.”
“You sound like Gavin.”
“If that’s what Gavin has suggested then I’d have to say I wholeheartedly agree.”
My stomach churned once again and I felt a dark sadness begin to drift over me from out of nowhere. The sickness.
Duncan must have seen the sudden change because he said, “And you need to care for yourself. Leiv’s death is going to take its toll on you and it doesn’t help that you’ve been depleted for so long. Why don’t you and Gavin go and spend a few days at the blood den. Relax, replenish. Try to get hold of yourself and if you still feel the same in a few weeks we can talk about it again then.”
“In a few weeks?” I screamed. “Duncan, you can’t be serious.”
Spots formed in front of my eyes and I grabbed the table in front of me to steady myself against the sudden swirling dizziness. “What’s the matter?” Gavin said, putting his arms out to hold me up.
“It’s the sickness,” Duncan said. “And no matter how much she wants to deny it or push it aside she’s not going to be able to. From this point on it’s going to come first.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here, and I’ll decide where the priorities lay. I’m fine.”
No sooner had the words left my mouth than I fell forward, Gavin catching me in his arms.
“Let’s get her into bed where Holly can start treating her. She can’t make it go away but there are a few things she can do to ease the symptoms.”
I wanted to say no. I wanted to scream at them to leave me alone and order them to help me start tracking the orphans not just soon, but right that very minute. I couldn’t, however, because all at once I was as weak as a newborn kitten. Gavin took me in his arms and carried me up the stairs and into the bedroom where he lay me down on top of the blankets.
Holly came in and sat on the bed beside me. “What are your symptoms?” she asked.
I was too frustrated to talk and so I simply lay there, rolled over on my side and began to cry. “Let me have some time with her,” I heard her say. A moment later the door clicked shut and Holly and I were alone. Whether it was her medical intuition or hundreds of years of experience I couldn’t say, but she asked. “Something else is bot
hering you, isn’t it?”
I nodded, unable to verbalize my thoughts.
“The orphans,” she said.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Duncan and Gavin don’t want me to search for them.”
“Search?”
“Ely has hidden them. He refuses to hand them over.”
“I see. And you feel it would be best if they were to be executed?”
I nodded again, doubling over with a sharp pain in my abdomen. Holly placed her hand on my forehead. “You’re warm. You have to will yourself to sleep no matter what.”
With all my strength I forced myself to sit up, clutching my stomach and now my chest at the same time which was beginning to burn.
“Oh Holly, what am I going to do?”
“Well, right now you’re going to sleep, and when you wake up, we’re going to focus on the future.”
“Will you help me? Gavin and Duncan are convinced that they’ll be too scared to come anywhere near me since I executed the others, but what if they’re not? What if they come for us before we can find them?”
She sighed and shook her head. “Blood addicted vampires are a nuisance for sure but I think you’ve scared them sufficiently to the point where they’ll probably leave you alone. I’ve seen it before. They’re skittish.”
The burning in my chest was now making its way up my throat and was so intense that I was sure in a few moments I was going to be breathing fire. “They’ll come looking. Why can’t you see that?”
“Rachel, we’ll act if we have to, but honestly, I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”
I hissed through my teeth with both emotional frustration and physical pain, a wall of it hitting me harder than I’d ever imagined. I cried out and Gavin burst through the door, unable to stay away any longer.
“Holly,” he said, his voice dripping with desperation. “Please, do something.”
“Rachel I want you to sleep ok? Will yourself, right now before it gets any worse.”
The Vampires of Soldiers Cove: Sacrificial Children Page 10