With obvious reluctance, he broke the kiss. Holding her tightly still, he rested his cheek against her head, struggling to catch his breath. “That didn't feel like indifference to me,” he growled hoarsely next to her ear.
The comment was enough to penetrate the haze of passion he'd aroused in her and Amaryllis pushed away from him, locking her knees to keep from melting into an ignominious puddle on the floor. She was too stunned to find anger, however, could do nothing more than stare at him speechlessly, listening to her heart thundering in her ears.
Several moments passed before she realized the sound was more than her pounding heartbeat. It was the tramp of booted feet.
Unnerved, she moved away from Cain and peered around the column that blocked her view of the entrance to the rec room. A half dozen cyborgs had filed into the rec room and halted near the entrance.
One stepped forward. “By order of the commander, Reuel VH570, the ship is now open to you. So long as you do not abuse the privilege by straying into unauthorized zones, including the flight deck and launch bay, you may come and go as you please. Hereafter, you will take your meals in the mess with the crew. You will continue to quarter in the barracks."
When they departed once more, they left the door of the rec room standing wide.
Everyone in the room exchanged questioning glances with the people around them. Abruptly, the silence that had fallen over the room at the entrance of the cyborgs was broken by dozens of people speaking all at once.
Amaryllis exchanged a look with Cain. She saw that he was leaning against the column, his arms crossed over his chest, his lips curled in a rueful smile. “Looks like I might be spending the remainder of the trip in the brig after all."
Amaryllis frowned, still trying to grasp the implications of the announcement that had just been made. Cain's comment didn't even penetrate her mind until she followed the direction of his gaze.
Reese and Dante were advancing purposefully toward them. Four of the cyborgs that had entered the rec room to make the announcement rushed inside once more and intercepted them. Dante and Reese sized them up, exchanged a look and slugged the two men directly in front of them so hard they flew backward several feet, taking out three game tables and a half dozen chairs.
An alarm sounded. Four more cyborgs charged into the room. Around the room, every hunter tensed, as if restraining themselves from entering the fray with an effort. It wasn't their fight—as yet—but it was clear that the weeks of incarceration had them chafing for action. Amaryllis surged forward without any clear idea of exactly what she intended to do. Cain forestalled her by grasping her around the waist. She turned to glare at him.
"I don't think you need to get into the middle of that."
"You complete ass! You'll all end up in the brig."
He shrugged. “It was for a good cause."
Amaryllis looked at him blankly. “What cause?"
"Mine."
Irritation surged through her. “I hope it was worth it!” she said tightly.
A mixture of desire and amusement gleamed in his eyes. His lips curled up at one corner. “It was. It definitely was,” he murmured huskily, lifting a hand and tracing his thumb lightly along her lower lip.
Amaryllis’ belly clenched reflexively. Resolutely, she ignored the warmth his look and his touch engendered. Uttering a frustrated sound of impatience, she wrestled with the grip he had on her.
He released her, eyeing her warily, but after glaring at him indecisively for several moments, she merely turned and plowed her way through the crowd of onlookers.
They'd begun to shout encouragement—though for whom she hadn't a clue—as if the fight were for their entertainment.
They were like ... juveniles, she thought with some dudgeon, pausing to watch as Reese and Dante battled the cyborgs trying to bring order with only one goal in mind—Cain. Cain watched their progress with interest, his arms crossed over his chest, one shoulder against the column where she'd been standing with him.
It dawned on her abruptly that, in a very real sense, she supposed they were juveniles.
They'd been conceived in a lab, attained awareness of the world at maturity. They might be bastardized human beings, but they were still human beings—super human—but still with many of the same weaknesses. They'd been programmed, but deprived of the natural learning processes of humans. The dam created by programming and drugs had burst and they were experiencing emotions they had no idea of how to deal with because they had no experiences to draw from, and the cyborgs were even more deprived than the hunters who'd at least been given a past, programmed childhood experiences. Nor had they been given social skills simply because they'd never been intended to be anything other than killing machines.
It was no doubt only because of their programming as soldiers that they'd managed any sort of order at all.
Despite the disgust she felt at their display of barbarism, empathy welled inside of her, as well, and for the first time she felt a true kinship with them rather than the sense of alienation she'd felt since her capture and the realization that she was the only natural born human being in a sea of bio-engineered beings. She'd experienced much of the same anger, frustration and—in truth—fear. She'd wanted to belong, to fit in, and didn't feel as if she did. She'd wanted love, passion, romance and had no idea of how to go after those things she wanted to experience so badly for herself or deal with those basic human needs.
She still didn't know how to deal with it.
Giving the growing melee in the center of the rec room a wide berth, she left the room and, after a little thought, headed for the barracks.
The barracks was deserted. She was relieved and at the same time unnerved by the absolute quiet in the huge room usually rustling with movement and whispers.
She wasn't altogether certain of why she'd returned to the barracks. All she'd had on her mind was putting as much distance between herself and the battle in the rec room as possible. She could've gone anywhere on the ship, but the barracks had come to represent a refuge as much as a prison. It wasn't much of a refuge anymore, not when everyone had the run of the ship.
The timing stank. Just when she'd started to think being imprisoned wasn't so bad if it meant she could avoid a confrontation with Reese and Dante, the commander decides to be generous and give them the run of the ship!
Just when Cain had decided to behave outrageously and kiss her right in front of both Reese and Dante!
It might almost have been funny except for the fact that there'd been no time for tempers to cool and by now Reese, Dante, and Cain were most likely cooling their heels in the brig.
It was good enough for them!
How dare they fight over her anyway, as if it would make any difference at all.If she decided to stayshe would be the one to decide whom she wanted to be with.
Who was she kidding? There wasn't going to be an ‘if’ to it. Cain was probably right about the rest of the hunters. If they tried to go back now, they'd be on The Company's hit list. She might find herself on it, for that matter, because of what she knew, but if she could avoid that pitfall, then she certainly didn't have to face the fear and hate that they would once it was known that they were cyborgs, as well. The hitch was that she doubted she would be allowed to return and she certainly wasn't going to make it back on her own. She wasn't a cyborg. She couldn't just download the information off of their data bases like the others could and she was no pilot.
If they didn't find out what she was, she might well be more accepted by the cyborgs than she had been by her own people, but that was another big ‘if'. Reese knew. Dante knew. Even if they kept that information to themselves, how long before others figured it out? And, if and when they did, what then?
She massaged her aching temples.
Maybe the safest thing she could do was just to give in to the inevitable? Reese had said he wanted her for his mate. He would protect her secret.
Cyborg or not, she certainly couldn't claim to be
repulsed by him.
She realized then that one of the things that was really bothering her was her reaction to all three men. Maybe she wasn't fit to contract with anyone? Her father had contracted twice before he'd contracted with her mother, her mother once before, but in her memory neither of them had even once considered terminating contract or breaching it by taking a lover outside their contract.
She'd been as interested in the opposite sex as any other healthy female, but, naturally enough, she'd only been able to wish from afar until she was full grown. By that time, she'd decided to join the militia, however, and she hadn't had much opportunity to experiment with her sexuality. Both of the times she'd tried sex it had been a complete disappointment, even though she'd considered both of them attractive at the time.
How could she have guessed that she would be insatiable?
She didn't know whether to put it down to some defect in her morals or chemical makeup, or if she'd always had the potential and it had just been stifled by the meds the company gave them.
She would've liked to think that, maybe, she'd reacted to Reese and Cain the way she had because she'd had a huge crush on both men, but then what excuse could she give herself for Dante?
Even if she wanted to contract, was she fit for it? Or would she find herself serving time for breach?
She frowned, trying to remember whether she'd ever had a reaction with anyone else even close to what she'd experienced with Reese, Dante, and Cain. She couldn't, but then three was bad enough, and she couldn't be certain that she wouldn't if the opportunity arose.
One thing was for certain, she didn't want to know badly enough to experiment and see. Everyone was off their meds and on the prowl now. She had enough trouble with what she'd already stirred up.
Almost as if on cue, she heard footsteps and looked up to see Violet striding toward her purposefully. Her belly clenched, but she'd known it was coming.
She surged to her feet.
Violet stopped near the foot of her bunk. “I hope you're satisfied! Cain's been taken to the brig for fighting."
Anger surged through Amaryllis. It wasn't as if she'd asked him to provoke Reese and Dante. She'd tried to avoid any sort of contact with him at all. “Not especially, but I guess they are. It's what men do, after all, and they really don't need an excuse when they're itching for a fight."
"If you hadn't led him on there wouldn't have been any reason for a fight."
Amaryllis gasped in outrage. “I didn't lead him on,” she growled. “I didn't come on to him either."
"Right. Like you didn't with Reese or Dante?"
Amaryllis glared at her. “Don't start that holier than thou shit with me! I know damned well you've taken at least as many lovers as I have, probably more."
"I never incited any of my lovers to violence by trying to make them jealous."
She hadn't either, not intentionally anyway. “Because you couldn't?” she asked sweetly.
It was all the goading Violet needed. She launched herself at Amaryllis with a howl of rage. Expecting it, Amaryllis merely leapt out of her way. Unable to change directions or stop once she'd become airborne, Violet slammed into the bulkhead. The collision stunned her. Before she could recover and launch another attack, Amaryllis landed on her back, grasped both of her arms and twisted them behind her. “I know this is hard for you, Violet, but try not to be a complete moron. If you want Cain, this damned sure isn't the way to get him. What do you think you're going to do? Kill me and toss him over your shoulder like he's a prize? There are three males to every single female on this damned ship. And they're all pretty. Pick another one."
"Cain is mine!” Violet said through gritted teeth.
"That's his decision, not yours ... and he obviously disagrees."
"He wanted me before he noticed you, and I want him!"
Amaryllis seriously doubted it. If he had, there would've been no reason to notice her. “And I want to go home! But we can't always have what we want, can we?"
Violet growled and tried to buck her off. Amaryllis tightened her knees around the other woman's middle, pushing up on her arms until Violet subsided, then shook her head in disgust. “This is really so completely crazy! I thought I was backwards when it came to relationships, but even I know someone either likes you or they don't. There's nothing you can do about it. It wouldn't matter if there wasn't another female within 10,000 light-years. He might settle for what he could get, but do you really want someone to settle for you only because they can't have what they want?"
"Meaning you?” Violet ground out.
Amaryllis rolled her eyes, but she realized she was wasting her time trying to reason with Violet. The problem was, she didn't know what to do with her if she couldn't. She couldn't just continue to sit on her and if she let her up she was more than likely to attack again. “Fine!” she said through gritted teeth. “If you think it's going to make you feel any better to get your ass kicked and then get thrown into the brig, suit yourself. But I'm sure as hell not going to let you kick my ass just because you're a fucking idiot!"
As she'd expected, the moment she climbed off of Violet, the woman scrambled to her feet and launched herself toward Amaryllis again. This time, instead of side-stepping, Amaryllis dropped back, catching herself with her hands, and kicked upward.
Violet was too close. Instead of catching her with both feet, Amaryllis caught the woman with one foot and one knee, launching her sideways rather than over her head as she'd intended. Before she could get to her feet, Violet recovered herself. Leaping forward, she caught Amaryllis around the waist. Her momentum carried both of them backward. They flipped over the foot of one of the bunks, hit the mattress and bounced off onto the floor.
Amaryllis landed on top. Even as she scrambled to regain her footing, however, she felt hard fingers digging into her hair. Fire flooded her scalp as she was dragged upward by her hair. She swung blindly at the new threat. Her arm was caught and twisted behind her back so hard she thought for several moments the joints would separate.
"Cease!"
The roared command jerked her out of the haze of battle. Gritting her teeth, Amaryllis subsided, dividing a glare between the two cyborgs that held her.
If she'd had any doubts about the barracks being watched, the guards surrounding both her and Violet dispelled them.
Without a word, the cyborgs marched her and Violet from the barracks and into the corridor.
The brig was in the bowels of the ship. Amayllis had thought the barracks was up until that point.
Not surprisingly, it was full. Embarrassment filled her as she was marched down the main corridor and finally shoved into a small cell. Violet was pushed into a cell opposite hers.
They glared at each other for several moments before Amaryllis finally turned and surveyed her accommodations.
It wasn't a hell of a lot worse than the barracks.
Shrugging, she plopped down on the narrow bunk and braced her back against the wall that separated her from the next cell.
"Are you injured?"
Amaryllis rolled her eyes. It was Reese's voice.
Just her shit house luck to be bunked right next to him. Apparently the gang was all here.
"I'm fine,” she said through gritted teeth.
"What happened?"
She wasn't about to admit to anything so shameful as having been dragged into fighting over a man. “I had a difference of opinion with Violet—that dainty little flower sitting in the cell across from me."
He was silent for several moments and she had the uncomfortable feeling that he knew exactly why Violet had attacked her. “We need to talk."
Instantly visions of the last ‘discussion’ she'd had with Reese filled her mind. She covered her face with her hands, feeling a rush of both embarrassment and desire, but a hysterical urge to giggle swelled in her chest, as well. She'd spent years suffering agonies of envy of all the girls who'd had boyfriends, certain she never would, and now she had three bull headed
, absolutely single minded cyborgs chasing after her like she was some sort of sex goddess or something. “I think it's going to be a little difficult to carry on a ‘discussion’ under present circumstances."
To her surprise, he immediately grasped the innuendo. From the tone of his voice, he wasn't particularly happy that she'd brought it up. “I meant talk,” he said tightly.
"I don't particularly want to talk—to you or anyone else."
The silence lasted longer that time. “You've chosen Cain?"
The question and the inflexion of his voice spurred a riot of emotions, making her heart tighten painfully in her chest and she realized a number of very unpalatable facts all at once.
As appalled as she was to find herself lusting over Reese, Dante, and Cain all at the same time, she had far more to worry about than lust. She wasn't over her crush on Reese, not by a long shot, and she felt just as distressed over the idea of choosing Reese over Cain, or either one of them over Dante. She didn't want to do it. She didn't think she could. No matter which she chose, she would have a lot of regrets to live with, more than she wanted to face.
And she would have to. No matter whether there were hundreds, or thousands of cyborgs awaiting them on the cyborg planet, it would still be a small community and that meant she'd be running into one or the other of them all the time.
"I chose my life already when I decided to become a soldier. I'm not cut out for anything else. I don't want anything else,” she lied. The truth was, she did. She wanted a life like her parents had had. She wanted to be ‘normal'. It was all she'd ever really wanted and the one thing she could never have.
Maybe fate had dropped her right where she belonged, a misfit in the midst of other misfits, and yet even among them she didn't quite fit. The hunters differed from the cyborgs but they still shared the bond of being the same as each other. Despite their own varying physical attributes, the cyborgs shared the bond of having been created the same.
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