"Their creativity—or perhaps I should say their lack of imagination. I handled new ‘recruits', remember. I saw all the backgrounds on everyone.” He glanced down at her thoughtfully for several moments and Amaryllis felt a prickle of uneasiness. She looked away, and discovered to her surprise that they'd almost reached the landing field.
"Almost without exception, everyone had had a tragic life that left them alone in the world. At first, I didn't think that much about it. The policy was that the company had no interest in anyone with ‘baggage', ostensibly because of the dangers in the work and the travel. Single men and women with no family wouldn't have their minds elsewhere when they were supposed to be concentrating on their job. Then you came along."
A coldness washed over Amaryllis. She should have known that Cain would have figured it out if Reese had.
Chapter Twenty
"I'd thought I would take the path just here,” Amaryllis said, changing directions abruptly and leaving the road.
It occurred to her forcefully that the three males who'd shown the most interest in her just happened to be three who knew, or at least had guessed, that she was not a cyborg. She couldn't help but wonder if they would've been drawn to her anyway, or if their interest had been spurred by that knowledge.
It was a dampening thought.
She'd wondered how it was that she'd suddenly become so desirable. She should have known it had to be something like that.
"How far along are you?"
Amaryllis stopped as abruptly as if she'd hit a tree. “What?"
"My wife was pregnant when she died,” he said pensively. “Of course, she wasn't my wife. I wonder if the memory was entirely computer generated or if she actually exists somewhere?"
It took an effort to continue walking. Amaryllis discovered her knees suddenly felt rubbery. Was it that noticeable? She wondered.She had noticed, but it was her body after all. Her waist had thickened until there was only a faint curve between midriff and hip. Her belly had begun to take on a roundness that hadn't been there before, but she hadn't thought the changes were that noticeable—so far.
"Does he know?"
Amaryllis reddened, but she didn't look at him. She kept her attention focused on her feet, watching the uneven ground for anything that might trip her up as she stalked rapidly along the path. “Who?"
"The father,” he said tartly.
She glared at him. “Maybe, when I figure out who it is, I'll tell him,” she snapped.
He caught her arm, dragging her to a stop. She balled her hand into a fist, resisting the urge to clock him with an effort.
"Go ahead if you think it'll make you feel any better."
There was sympathy in his eyes. It was almost her undoing. She looked away, blinking against the sting in her eyes, but she put up only the barest resistance when he pulled her into his embrace. Wrapping one arm around her, he stroked her head and back soothingly. It felt so good, just to be held and comforted that Amaryllis had to struggle even harder to keep from bursting into tears. “Tell me what's wrong, baby. Would you like for me to kill those nasty old cyborgs for you? Because I'd be delighted to if it'll make you feel better."
"Don't joke, not now,” Amaryllis said in a voice muffled against his chest.
"Who's joking?"
She pulled away and looked up at him. One glimpse of the glitter in his eyes was enough to assure her he definitely wasn't just saying it to distract her. “No!” she said, horrified and struggling abruptly to push him away.
His arms tightened. “Shhh. I didn't say it to distress you."
She relaxed fractionally, allowing him to draw her close once more.
He was silent for several moments, stroking her as he had before. “Would it distress you if I only beat themnearly to death?” he asked pensively.
The question almost startled a chuckle out of her. “Yes,” she said sternly.
He sighed. “I was afraid of that.” After a while, he pulled away from her and caught her chin, tipping it up so that he could look at her face. “If you aren't harboring ill will toward the cyborg twins, then why have you sent them packing?"
Amaryllis’ heart clenched.Had she run them off? Forever? She berated herself the moment the thoughts popped into her mind. She'd meant to, after all. It was a good thing if she had, and for the best, for everyone. It was patently obvious that neither of them would settle for what she felt comfortable giving—they wanted total commitment.
It would have been nice taking either or both as lovers. They stirred her senses to heights she'd never before even imagined she could scale and the affection they seemed to feel for her would have been a great comfort in the trials she faced.
God only knew why they were so determined to make her their mate. They should have been appalled at her genetics. If he'd studied her background as he claimed, Reese certainly knew, and Dante ought to. He'd done the med scan on her, after all. Surely, if they were acting on basic instincts alone as Cain said, they couldsense she wasn't a good choice for mating and, if they couldn't, then they certainly had the grasp of logic needed to calculate such a risk.
She had no intention of discussing the reasons behind her behavior with Cain, however. Let him think whatever he liked. It probably wouldn't be nearly as bad as the truth. His question made her curious, though. Reese had said that Cain was staying in the barracks, and he'd certainly known which rooms were hers.
"Is that why you didn't come before? You were waiting to see if I meant to accept Dante or Reese?"
He smiled wryly. “Actually, I grew weary of waiting for you to come to me. Since it didn't appear that you were going to, I decided I'd have to make the first move."
Amaryllis’ jaw went slack with surprise. Chuckling, he lowered his head and kissed her solidly on the mouth. As brief as the kiss was, it penetrated her surprise and stirred warmth to life.
She lifted her lids with an effort when he withdrew, giving him a reproachful look.
"More?"
She gave him a look and pulled away.
"I'm devastated."
"You sound devastated."
He chuckled. “I couldn't help but notice you didn't answer a single question."
"You are so observant."
"Ouch. Then maybe you'll tell me why we're wandering around in the woods?"
Amaryllis had spotted a small stream just a little ahead of them and wondered, if she followed it, if it would eventually lead her to the natives. They were bound to live near a source of water, weren't they? She threw him a look. “I'm ... just exploring."
"Ah. I noticed you explored the landing field yesterday."
Amaryllis had been on the point of moving closer to the stream for a better look. She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him. “You saw me?"
He shrugged. “Contrary to what you seem to think, you're in no condition to fight your way out of an attack. I just thought I'd keep an eye on you. Dante beat me to it so I left you in his capable hands."
Amaryllis frowned. “I thought it was the cyborgs you were worried about."
"Not the cyborg twins—not that way. They're both besotted with you and wouldn't harm you. Are we looking for anything in particular? Because if you're thinking they might have concealed the ship here, I can't agree. The vegetation is far too thick."
The blush that had mounted her cheeks at his comment about Reese and Dante deepened. “I'm not looking for a ship,” she said crossly, plunking her hands on her hips and looking around the area.
"What then?"
She sighed irritably. “Signs of civilization."
"It's in the other direction."
"You're so funny! I meantother civilization. Natives."
"The cyborgs cleared them out."
Amaryllis looked at him in surprise. “There are other intelligent beings here?"
"Now why are you so surprised when you just said you were looking for them?"
Amaryllis gritted her teeth. “Christ and all the saints! You are the
most irritating man! Will you be serious?"
His eyes glittered with speculation. “As you please. Why are you looking for them?” he asked coolly.
Amaryllis looked away. “Just curious,” she lied.
"They are barbarians, dangerous savages. And, since I'm not allowed to wear a weapon as of yet, I'm thankful to say quite a distance from Gallen."
Disappointment flooded her, but she wasn't ready to give up yet. “You called the cyborgs barbarians, too, and they're civilized."
"Why are you looking for them, Amanda?"
Amaryllis glanced at him sharply. “I'm not Amanda anymore,” she said tightly.
"Because the company gave you the designation Amaryllis, so you would fit in with all the rest of their ‘flowers'? But you were born Amanda Maria Rios, weren't you?"
"Christ and all the saints! Doeseveryone know? Because if I've been quaking in my boots all this time when it's common frigging knowledge, I wish to hell someone had told me!"
His eyes widened. “The cyborg twins know?"
"Iwish you'd quit calling them that! Yes! They know. Reese got into my file. He knew before we even started this mission. Dante discovered it after the crash. He was the medic that treated me."
Cain's eyes narrowed. “That's how Dante induced you to hide in his quarters?"
"He did it to protect me!"
"Did he? It looks to me as if he took advantage. I may have to kill him after all."
Amaryllis gaped at him in stunned surprise. Her teasing, often annoying, companion had vanished and in his place was the killing machine Cain had been designed to be. A shiver of dread scratched its way down her spine. “Don't! Please! I'll never forgive you!"
His eyes narrowed. “You're so certain I need your forgiveness?"
"He didn't do anything I didn't want him to,” she said a little desperately. “I was scared to death. I needed ... comforting."
His gaze moved pointedly to her belly. “It looks like he did a little more than comfort you,” he retorted dryly.
When she said nothing more, merely looked at him reproachfully, he drew in an exasperated breath and expelled it slowly, raking his fingers through his hair as he struggled to regain control of his temper. “I don't understand you, Mandy. Are all females as completely contradictory as you? Or only the purely human variety? What are we doing out here? Why are you looking for the native inhabitants of this world?"
A knot formed in her throat, making it difficult to swallow. Relief was part of it, that she seemed to have averted a battle between Dante and Cain. Part of it was despair at seeing her last hope vanishing like a puff of smoke, but most of it was weariness from the fear and frustration that had been riding her for months now and was getting progressively worse instead of better. Her chin wobbled. “I'm scared. I just don't know what to do."
He caught her upper arms, giving her a slight shake, as if he could jog it from her. “Tell me, baby! It isn't just that you're afraid they'll find out about you, is it? I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."
The words trembled on her lips, but she found she couldn't utter them. He wouldn't understand and he couldn't help her even if he did. He didn't have access to the med center, or knowledge of how to use any of the equipment. He would probably be more horrified and disgusted than helpful if he knew she wanted to abort the pregnancy to protect the child from having a life of pure hell. Even knowing what she did from her own experiences, she was as horrified at the necessity of what she had to do as she was determined to spare it from as much pain as possible. “I just ... want to go home,” she said lamely.
He didn't believe her. She could tell from his expression that he knew her desperation to go home wasn't just a yearning for faces and things familiar. After a moment, he pulled her close and hugged her tightly to him. “You know that's one thing I can't give you. I wouldn't even if I could. Whatever you think about this place, you're accepted here, as one of us, and no one would harm you even if they knew. Out there, your life wouldn't be worth one credit. The Company will have a price on our heads by now—yours included. It would mean almost certain death even to try it, and to avoid death even for a time would mean being hunted and constantly on the run.
"I love you. Don't ask me to take you to your death, Mandy."
Chapter Twenty One
Amaryllis stiffened and pulled away to look up at Cain in stunned surprise.
He smiled wryly. “Isn't it enough that you've got three men who are crazy about you?"
It was too much, actually. On top of everything else, to be torn between her feelings for all three men was more than she could handle. She burst into tears and cried all over his chest.
It dismayed him. He stiffened, but he held her until she'd cried herself out. Finally, she pushed away from him, scrubbed the tears from her face with her hands and made her way to the tiny stream she'd spotted earlier. When she'd splashed cool water over her face until she felt better, she sat back on her heels and looked around a little desperately for something to dry with.
Cain had knelt beside her. He shrugged. “I'd give you my loin cloth, but I'm not at all certain seeing my dangling genitals is something you'd care for at the moment."
The comment drew a shaky chuckle from her. “I'm sure your genitals are as beautiful as the rest of you, but I'll use my skirt."
The sheer veil-like skirt was pretty much as useless as a towel as it was as a skirt, but she managed to wipe most of the moisture from her face. When she glanced shyly at Cain again, she saw that his color was slightly heightened, but he looked pleased with himself. “Men are not beautiful,” he said, mock stern. “It offends the manhood."
A smile trembled on her lips. “You don't look offended."
"It's hard to be displeased by a compliment. Would you like to see if they're as beautiful as the rest of me?"
She bit her lip. “I might not be able to contain myself."
"All the better,” he retorted, chuckling. He reached for her hand. “Come. I'll take you back to your quarters to rest. You must be weary after releasing such a tidal wave."
Amaryllis allowed him to pull her to her feet. “I'm sorry I cried all over you,” she said self-consciously.
He tucked a finger beneath her chin and urged her to look up at him. “I didn't melt and it seems you needed the outlet. Feeling better?"
To her surprise, Amaryllis realized she did. Her head ached and her eyes were blurry, but she was tired, not tense as she had been. She nodded.
He leaned down and brushed a light kiss across her lips. “Good,” he murmured against her lips.
It was dark by the time they reached the barracks once more. Amaryllis was still debating whether to invite Cain in and try to prepare a meal for the two of them when she discovered that Reese was waiting for them in the corridor.
She stopped abruptly and glanced up at Cain. “I don't want trouble."
His smile didn't reach his eyes. “I won't give you any."
"Promise me you won't start a fight!"
Cain glanced from her to Reese and back again. “Readily."
Reese didn't wait for them to reach him. He strode down the corridor to meet them. Uttering a low, animal growl when he was still some two yards away, he launched himself at Cain.
Amaryllis let out a squeak of surprise as the two men slammed into each other with a sound almost like a thunderclap. Reese's weight and momentum slammed Cain into the wall, shattering the thin layer of mortar that had been lathed on the wall as a finish. A fine, yellowish dust clouded the air.
With a growl, Cain slammed his head into Reese's, then thrust himself away from the wall and drove Reese across the corridor into the opposite wall.
"Reese! Cain! Stop it!” she yelled over the din the two of them were making as they used each other for a wrecking ball, first one and then the other slamming into the walls around them, cracking mortar and throwing more dust into the air.
Up and down the corridor, Amaryllis heard doors opening.
> "They'll throw you both in jail for public disorderliness!” she cried when Reese tired of slamming Cain into the wall and wrapped his hands about the other man's throat. Catching hold of one of Reese's arms, she tried to pull him loose from Cain. He ignored her, tightening his grip on Cain's neck.
Someone grabbed her around the waist from behind, snatched her loose from Reese, and set her aside. The world spun dizzily. Amaryllis reached out blindly for the wall to support herself, gasping and coughing and blinking the dust from her eyes.
Dante, she saw, was trying to thrust himself between the two men to break them apart and she realized that it was he who'd pulled her from harm's way.
The dizziness didn't subside. It intensified until blackness surrounded her. Her body felt so heavy she couldn't seem to move. Her last thought was that she needed to sit down before she fell. She didn't even feel the floor when she hit it.
* * * *
"If you've hurt her, you son-of-a-bitch, I'm going to kill you."
Amaryllis frowned, trying to identify the voice.
"Silence! No one hit her. She fainted. She is coming around now."
It took more of an effort to open her eyes than she would've thought possible. Her eyelids felt as if they'd been glued shut. Darkness greeted her when she finally managed to open her eyes a crack, but it began to clear almost at once and she saw Dante was leaning over her. Reese and Cain, both coated with dust and as white as ghosts, stood on either side of him, peering down at her as Dante was.
Her head felt like it was going to explode. “What happened?"
"You hit your head on the floor when you fell."
"I fell?” she asked blankly, lifting her hand with a great effort and trying to feel for the lump on her head.
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
Amaryllis stared at the huge hand that was shoved in front of her face. “Two,” she said slowly.
"What day is it?"
"How the hell would I know that? I haven't seen a clock or a calendar since we landed,” she snapped irritably.
Dante's lips flattened. “I should take you to the med center to make certain you don't have a concussion."
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