He gave me an outraged glare and hit the wall in front of him with his clenched fist.
“We’ll wait until they are here and have all gotten out of their cars, then we’ll fire.” Goytom said.
“What if they won’t stop?” Haregu replied.
“Then we’ll shoot anyway.” Was Goytom’s immediate reply. “We’ll kill them. All of them.”
I didn’t like this. Too many emotions here. Goytom seemed almost frantic. He was hell-bent on revenge. And Haregu and the other man, too, looked like they were looking forward to what was coming.
I took Josh’s hand and squeezed it tight. He let me and whispered, “I am sorry.”
I smiled at him, maybe it was a bit on the tight side, and said, “Love you, too.”
He had trouble breathing, but I felt myself calm down. At least we were together. Whatever would come now, we would face it together.
It didn’t bear thinking about Alice, Yuki, all the others, though.
And then they were here. Two pickups. With two people in the drivers cabin and a number of other people on the back of the pickups. The cars stopped. Right beside the pile of bodies. Two men jumped down from each pickup. They were clad in dark brown clothes. The men who got out from the driver’s cabins wore black. The four men in brown uniforms were brandishing guns and started shouting at the other people who began to climb down and we saw that they were ten in total. Five men, three women and two children. They looked utterly scared, the women and children were crying and clinging on to each-other. The men in brown uniforms herded them toward the pile of bodies. They motioned for them to stand in a line and positioned themselves between their victims and us. The two men in black stood a bit apart, but also toward our little shelter.
Could it really be that they hadn’t seen us? Could we be that lucky?
“There are six men to shoot, one for every one of us.” Josh whispered through clenched teeth. He told each of us, which one to kill and we took careful aim.
“Now.” Josh commanded.
And I pulled the trigger. My man had been one of the men in black. He sunk to the ground without uttering a sound. The other five men fell, too. One of them pulled the trigger of his gun while falling, but nobody got hurt.
“Are you alright, Lia?” Josh frantically asked, while gently taking the gun from my hands.
I must have been in a bit of a shock, because I couldn’t utter a word. No matter how I tried.
Josh pulled me tight and whispered into my hair. “So brave! Lia, you were so brave! I am so proud of you!” He was shaking; and laughing from relief.
I clung to him and pressed my face into his chest. I had killed somebody. A human being. I, Lia, had pulled the trigger and killed someone. My mind seemed to be stuck on that one thought. I was trembling.
“Lia, you all right? Say something!” Josh stood back from me and anxiously scrutinizing my face.
“I killed somebody.” was all that I managed to whisper.
“Oh.” Josh pulled me tight again. “Yes. We all did.” He pressed a kiss into my hair, took my hand and made me follow him. “Come, we have to see what’s going on.”
I followed him in silence, telling myself to stop being a sissy, all the while trembling from the aftermath of what had just happened.
Degu, Haregu, Goytom and the other man had meanwhile gotten out of our shelter and were approaching the people over by the kill-site. These people, too, were in shock and couldn’t believe what had happened. Only when Goytom strode over to the bodies of the six men and carefully checked that they were really all dead, did reality sink in with them. That they were alive and that they were going to live. Some of the women sunk to the ground and began to pray. The men waited for Haregu and Degu to reach them and then they began to talk rapidly.
Josh and I stood a bit apart. He still held me my hand and I was grateful for it because I still had trouble breathing evenly.
“Love you so much, you crazy girl! Cool as a cucumber when you must, and afterwards all of a twitter. Love you!” He whispered. He must have been in shock, too.
“I want to get going. Return to the others. Let’s leave this place as soon as possible.” I whispered.
“I know. Me too. But we have to wait what these people have to say.” Josh cautioned me.
It seemed to take endlessly. Finally, Degu came over to us and explained.
“Haregu was right; there is a Nemesis base in that extinct volcano over there.” He gestured toward the mountains in the West. “They only just took over that place. From these people here. They had been hiding there. But, having no guns, they were quickly out-manoeuvred by the Nemesis and many were killed. These here are the only survivors. They say, that back there, in the camp by the volcano are another ten Nemesis. A leader and nine subordinates. Haregu, Goytom and the men want to go and wipe them out. Now. I don’t want to go with them. We saved these people here. Let’s bring them back to our group. They can join us. Haregu, Goytom and the men will take the pickups. They’ll wear the clothes of the dead Nemesis, as a disguise.”
He clearly didn’t like this turn of events, but couldn’t do anything against it.
Josh shook his head, but refrained from commenting. He got into the car and drove it back to the kill-site. When he got out, Goytom was already leading a woman and the two children to our car. They got in the back, Haregu telling them something in Amharic and mentioning our names. We greeted the woman and the children in English and I handed them a bottle of water. They drank eagerly, but were too shy and too shocked to do much more than stare at us. The other two women got into Degu’s car and we immediately drove away.
“Do you think we will see them again? Goytom is utterly bent on revenge. He looks like Abdella did.” I said, not really expecting any answer.
Josh just shot me a quick glance and kept driving as fast as he dared. In silence we drove back up into Mega and then up the hill where we’d left the others. It was dark by now and we had to put on the headlights. It wasn’t far and we soon reached the place. We found Rob and Paul standing guard next to the other cars.
They were very amazed to see the passengers we brought. Josh explained what had happened, all the while holding my hand and holding me close. I didn’t feel like saying anything.
Paul showed us the way to the shelter where everyone had gone. When we arrived with the strangers, there was a big commotion. Degu talked to his people in Amharic and Josh explained to Winter, Yuki, Mahlet, Nin and Alice what had happened. They all looked at us appalled but also amazed and Nin even commented. “You killed them all! Well done!”
It made me sick. Sick with myself, sick with what I had done, and I turned away and hurried over to where they had laid out our sleeping gear. I curled into a ball and wrapped my arms over my head. Childish maybe, but since I couldn’t walk away and be by myself for a while, this seemed the next best thing to do. But even when I closed my eyes the picture of the man I had shot kept appearing. How he’d stood there, how I had taken aim, pulled the trigger and how he had sunk to the ground, like a lifeless doll.
I had a killed a human being.
Oh, of course, there were dozens of reasons why it had been a necessity. But still, I had killed a human being. And, wasn’t that the worst part of it? It hadn’t been all that difficult. No, really not that difficult at all. Take aim, pull the trigger, done. I could do it again. To defend my loved ones I would. If I had to.
Still, I felt like a monster. And, that Josh had seen me killing someone, I was sure, must have killed whatever love he could feel for me. After all, only a monster could have done that with so much deliberate calm.
I was shaking all over now and sobbing into the makeshift pillow. I became aware that I wasn’t alone. Josh was by my side, patting my back, murmuring soothing words, being there.
But that made it only worse. What I had done and who I was.
I tried to wriggle away, but he wouldn’t let me. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” He kept murmuring, all the
while patting my back reassuringly.
“She’s shell-shocked, from all that I can tell.” I heard Winter’s cool assessment in the background.
If only they would leave me alone. All of them.
But Josh would have none of this. All of a sudden, I felt myself being lifted up. I protested, but Josh told me gently but firmly to shut up. He carried me outside and told the others to leave us be. Alice looked scared, but Yuki had wrapped her arms protectively around her and nodded to me that everything was all right. As if! To see my darling sister scared made it all the worse. I was sure that she would hate me now. She had heard that I had killed a human being. She would shrink from me. And rightly so.
Once outside the cave, Josh set me down and roughly asked whether I felt I could walk. I simply nodded. I felt so ashamed. He took my hand and pulled me along with him. Away from everybody, under a tree he stopped and sat down, pulling me down with him.
He wrapped his arms around me, holding me like in a cradle, gently rocking back and forth.
“Cry yourself out, Lia. It’s okay, you’ll feel better afterwards.”
“How c-can you say so? I have k-killed a human being! I c-coolly pulled the trigger back there … as if it w-were nothing … I have k-killed somebody … you must be d-disgusted …” I sobbed into his shirt.
He held me even tighter to himself. “So have I. Killed a human being, I mean. We had to, there was no choice. And you know what? I am glad that I could do it. I have had my doubts whether I would be able to pull the trigger. As you said, it was easy, too easy.” He pressed a fervent kiss into my hair. “Far too easy.”
I couldn’t stop the tears; they kept flowing and flowing. Josh held me in his arms and gently rocked us back and forth. It was soothing and comforting. Eventually I stopped sobbing and got a hiccup. Sniffing and hiccupping, I muttered. “Do you think that we will get accustomed to this, to k-killing?”
“No, most certainly not.” Was Josh’s firm answer. “Do you feel a little bit better now?”
“Not r-really, but the shock is w-wearing off.” I sniffed. “At least the initial s-shock, that is. You know, if I close my eyes, I keep s-seeing how the man I killed sunk to the ground, lifeless, like a d-doll. This moment, this s-split of a second when life ceased to exist, when a s-sentient being ceased to be. That’s w-what’s haunting me most. I know the r-rationale. I know we had n-no choice. Still.”
“I know, I know,” Josh murmured. “And I love you ever so much more for it. That you care that much, that you set yourself such high standards. I want you to be safe. I am itching to get away from here. I don’t like the setting here. There are far too many people here whose motives we neither know nor can guess. It was all right to travel with Degu and Goytom. I never expected it to be a smooth journey all the way. But what we encountered today, makes me feel ever so uneasy. I am all for making a rush toward Moyale tomorrow. Whether Haregu and his group will be back or not. I want to get you out of here.”
It was nice to be taken care of like that. I twisted around a bit in Josh’s arms so that I could press a kiss in the hollow of his throat. He sighed and held me tight.
“Just t-trying to tell you, that I love you. And that I v-value your concern for me above anything.” I murmured, still sniffing from all the crying I had done.
Josh pressed an ardent kiss on my hair and whispered. “Ditto! If only you could see how much you mean to me.”
“Sorry to interrupt you,” that was Paul, striding over to us. “But I would like to discuss something with you. How we should proceed.”
Rob had come, too, and voiced his concern of the current situation. “I don’t like this. Not at all. We ought to get going. Tomorrow morning. Immediately.”
“I know that a bit south of Moyale there is an airfield. If we can get out early and make it there in time, we could easily get us another plane and fly the last stretch down to Nairobi, or wherever we want to land.” Paul added. “I don’t like it here, it’s got entirely the wrong feel. It’s difficult to explain, but with Idris’s group I never had that feeling of uneasiness that I have here.”
“That the Nemesis are so close, even if it was just a small group of them. It doesn’t smell right. I keep wondering, whether somebody betrayed these people here.” Rob said.
“Maybe they kept their mobile phones. We should ask them to destroy them, immediately.” Josh wondered pensively.
You think they could be that stupid?” Paul interpolated.
Rob was already up and walking. “Why not. It’s better to ask than to have more Nemesis swarm the place.
We watched him disappear between the trees; Josh and Paul kept making plans for the next day, while I suddenly felt very tired and drowsy. I must have closed my eyes and dozed off, because when Rob reappeared, with Winter, Nin, Mahlet, Yuki and Alice in tow, it took me by surprise.
Rob was fuming. “You wouldn’t believe it! It’s incredible! You were right, Josh! There are three people in there, who still have their mobile phones and even put them on, trying to communicate with lost family members. One of them admitted that he tried to reach his brother this afternoon; the brother lives over to the West, near where Haregu and his people went. It’s utterly incredible. I left it to Degu to make them see reason and to destroy their mobile devices. But I don’t want to stay a minute longer in this place. I am sure we are on the radar of the Nemesis already.”
Alice looked utterly scared and hurried over to me. I wrapped her into my arms and held her tight. “Don’t worry, Alice, we’ll be all right.” I kept murmuring.
“Do you think that it is feasible for us to set out right now?” Winter asked of nobody in particular.
“I am sure it is safer to set out now than to wait and see what happens. We have the night-vision goggles; we can drive through the night without putting on the lights of the cars.” Paul replied.
Everyone started to talk at once, discussing the pros and cons of leaving tonight. Yuki came to sit next to me and asked me imploringly. “Do you think, too, that we should be going tonight? I admit that I don’t like the idea. To travel by night, through a country we don’t know. I don’t like this, not at all!”
“But just imagine. If we set out now, we may be in Nairobi tomorrow evening. And at Blue-Hill-Farm the day after tomorrow. Maybe it is a rash decision, but I own, I like the idea of reaching home, Uncle Phil, Mum and everyone so soon. Don’t you?”
“Of course, I understand that perfectly well. Yet, it seems an unnecessary risk to leave in the middle of the night.”
Suddenly Mahlet chipped into our discussion. “I think we ought to ask Degu and discuss it with him. He is reasonable and he knows this area.”
“Sound idea.” Josh complemented her. He set Alice and me down, got up and told the others that he was going to get Degu. He hadn’t yet reached the trees, where the path to the caves passed under, when Degu emerged from under their leaves, together with an elderly man. They came over to us and Degu at once wanted to know, what we had discussed and decided. Paul told him and concluded by asking Degu’s opinion.
Degu answered a bit reluctantly, but nonetheless very frankly. “I agree with you. I was utterly appalled to learn that some of my relatives and friends were stupid enough to keep their mobiles, let alone to try to operate them. We have now destroyed all of them. At least, that’s what I hope. Maybe some are still being withheld and hidden somewhere. I am very sorry that your security was jeopardized by my people. I can understand very well that you want to get on with your journey as quickly as possible. I talked with old Daniel here, he has recently been down toward Marsabit. He is a bit of a loner and likes to travel the country. He says that he never encountered anyone all the way to Marsabit, neither friend nor foe. He suggests that you leave and he will show you the way. I would like to come with you until Moyale. If that’s okay with you. To see the place and to see you safely take off.”
Wow, these were good news indeed.
We eagerly agreed and thanked Degu an
d Daniel for their generous offer. Rob insisted to know what would happen with the people here, while Degu was gone and his cousin Haregu not yet back.
“There’s another shelter not far away, not as comfortable as this one, but it will do. My people are relocating there this night. They will leave signs for Haregu and his men that only they will understand. We will be okay, don’t you worry. Let us get going now. Shall we?”
We hurriedly got up and trooped back to the caves to retrieve our gear. It didn’t take us more than twenty minutes until we were ready to set out. We decided to drive in two cars. Degu and Daniel went into the first car with Rob, Winter, Paul and Mahlet, while the rest of us climbed into the second car. Suddenly, a young man from Degu’s group came forth to our car. When Josh pulled down the window, he explained that he would accompany us and would later drive the car back here. Josh nodded his approval and the young man hopped into the car.
Without much ceremony but just a few waves to the remaining people, we drove away. Not that anyone cared, for they were busy relocating to that other shelter and didn’t have much time for us anyway.
I was glad to leave this place.
Without putting on the lights, we carefully drove back along the way we had come and reached the town of Mega within another twenty minutes. It was pitch-black and we, the passengers, couldn’t see a thing. Josh and the young man had night-vision goggles on and could obviously see enough to allow them to drive at quite a speed.
“It’s about a hundred-and-twenty kilometres to Moyale, isn’t it?” Yuki asked anxiously.
“Yes, and from all I could see on the maps, we won’t come through any difficult terrain. It’s more or less flat all the way there.” Josh answered.
“I am tired, Lia!” Alice complained, yawning several times in a row and rubbing her eyes sleepily. She sat on my lap and I tried to make her as comfortable as was possible. Then Nin suggested that she should lay down all the length of the bench and spread out over all of us. But it wasn’t a feasible suggestion in view of Yuki’s pregnancy. In the end, Alice remained where she was. She snuggled up to me, stuck a thumb into her mouth and held both Piglet and Malinda clos to herself with the other arm. After about five minutes, she was asleep. The rest of us sat in silence, all of us concentrating hard on the road, even if we in the back of the car couldn’t really see anything.
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