by Stacy Eaton
“My new baseball glove. I’m going over to Robbie’s to play, and I can’t find it.”
“It’s in your closet; I saw it there the other day.” I stepped past him in the direction of his room.
“I already looked there, it’s not there,” he whined behind me.
Stepping over a pile of toy trucks on the floor, I pulled open his white louvered doors and checked on the middle shelf, smiling to myself. I pulled out his glove and handed it to him.
“It’s not, huh?”
His face lit with joy that warmed my cold heart, and I reached over and mussed his short brown hair.
“Thanks, Dad! I didn’t even see it!” He turned and sprinted for the stairs, yelling that he’d found his glove.
I chuckled as I followed him and made my way down the stairs. The smell of hot coffee permeated the air, and I moved towards it. Beth stepped out the back door and yelled at Chase to be polite and have fun.
I glanced at her back and made a beeline for the cabinet with the mugs. With the mug full of hot coffee, I walked out to the porch and sat down.
I wasn’t sure what I should be doing with myself. Normally this was my day off, but those mundane things that I normally would do just didn’t seem important, and I soon found myself recreating the events from the day before while my coffee grew cold beside me.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice Beth step out onto the porch until she stepped in front of me and sat beside me on the white wicker love seat.
“How are you doing today?” she spoke tentatively, probably wondering if I would snap at her again.
I fought the urge to stand up and move away, and ground my teeth instead for a moment.
“I’m here. What did Joe tell you about yesterday?” I watched a car drive down the street, a woman with a minivan full of kids.
She leaned back further into the couch. “He said you were chasing a car from a robbery, and the car you were chasing struck another officer.” Her voice was soft, caring, and I again got the urge to move away from her, not wanting her to care.
I picked up my cold coffee and took a sip. This wasn’t the first time I had drunk cold coffee.
“Mitch, that accident wasn’t your fault. Joe said the officer was running to get kids out of the street. You weren’t the one to hit her.” She turned on the couch and pulled one leg to the flowered cushion so she was facing me.
“I could have called the chase off. I could have never seen the car. She could have lived.” My voice trailed off as I finished.
“Were you friends with her?”
I could tell her the truth, but what good would that do now to tell her? No, we weren’t friends, she was my soul mate, the love of my life, and I was going to leave you for her. I answered instead with a simple, “Yes.”
“I’m so sorry, Mitchell. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.” She slid closer and wrapped her arm around my back. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, hoping to put some distance between us, but that only allowed her to wrap her arm further around me.
“Joe told me she was a wonderful person. He said that everyone loved her.”
I stood up, “You’re not making me feel any better reminding me of how amazing she was, Beth.” I walked to the white painted railing that wrapped around our small front porch, gripping the wood tightly in my hands.
She stood up and approached me from behind, “I’m sorry. That wasn’t what I meant to do. I just wanted you to know that you are not the only person hurting, many people cared about her.”
Silence filled the air until a bird squawked in the distance and a car drove down the road.
“Joe said they have already announced the funeral arrangements, and they wanted you to be one of the pall bearers.”
A shiver ran down my spine as I thought of carrying her to her final resting place. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“If she was your friend, then you need to do that. She would want you to do this last thing for her.” She rested her hand on my arm, and I turned on her.
“How the hell do you know what she would want? Maybe she didn’t want to die! Maybe she wouldn’t want me anywhere near her grave because I killed her! You think about that?” I shouted at her, knowing I was being unfair but unable to stop myself as my pain spewed out of my mouth.
I thought she might turn and walk away. I had hurt her, I could tell, instead, she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close.
“I am sure she would have wanted to live, but she didn’t, Mitch. God had other plans for her, and if you were her friend, then you need to honor her by carrying her casket. Be there for her until the end, Mitch. She deserves that.”
As she spoke, the tension in my shoulders dwindled, and I felt her grasp on me tighten. I wrapped my arms around her, needing the compassion she was giving me, squeezing my eyes shut to fight back the tears that threatened.
“I didn’t know her, but from what Joe says, you cared for her a great deal. You need to give her the love and honor she deserves, for her and for yourself.”
The tears came fast with her words, and she held me tightly as the sobs wracked my body and I held onto her with all I had, wishing the whole time she was Corey.
“I’m so sorry. Oh my God, Corey, I’m so sorry,” I cried into my wife’s shoulder as she held me, and my heart finally split in two.
~ Corey ~
David and I walked a bit further, and he filled me in on a few things about what my position included.
He explained that while we could help guide people into good decisions, we could not take their choices away. We were allowed to inject positive thoughts into the minds of our charges, but we could not change decisions they made.
We were assigned to select people, and those were the ones we helped to guide. We were not to implant thoughts or guide those who were not our charges, as we would not know their full story. Only their own Garda would know the path they should walk.
“How do we do all that? I mean we can’t communicate with them from here, can we?” I kicked at a pile of sand in front of me as we stopped, facing out to the water. The sun was perched low on the horizon, reflecting back over the soft waves.
“When you are assigned your charges, you only get a few to start off with, then you are connected to them, and you can feel them when you need to. You will only need to look inside yourself to know what they are doing.”
I turned my head to him, squinting in the bright light from the water.
“How many charges do you have?”
He studied the water, “Somewhere between three thousand and three thousand two hundred, I lost count.”
“Seriously?” I blurted out. “How do you keep track of that many people and their lives?”
He laughed beside me, “It gets easier the longer we are here. We can feel when people need us. You will feel the frustration or pain they are in when they need guidance. Some people need a lot of your time, some don’t.” He shrugged.
I shook my head, finding it hard to believe one could watch over so many people and guide them to make good decisions.
“But do you do everything from here? When I died, Brock and Montgomery were there with me.”
“When someone needs us or is in pain, we can feel it, and we go to them.”
He turned to start walking back the way we had come. I stepped up to walk beside him. “But where do you go and how do you get there?”
“You phase. There is a level just above the living arena where we walk. You will see others like us there, and we watch over and guide from there. We are close enough to reach them, but far enough away that most of them cannot tell we are there.”
“Some people know who we are?” I checked out his profile and noticed his right ear used to be pierced, twice.
“There are those who can see further than most. They know we are there. Of course the Os Malos can see you.”
“The who?”
“The Os Malos, the evil ones.
We work for God, right?” he turned to me.
“And they work for the devil. Got it,” I nodded as we continued to walk.
“See how quickly you are picking up on this? You are going to be a natural!” he chuckled beside me as I slowed.
A tingling sensation rushed through me and took my breath away. I stopped and felt as if I were about to pass out. My mind buzzed and voices came to me, but not David’s. These voices were far away and pulling at me. I stared down at the sand as I felt my body shifting.
“Coralenna, look at me!” I faintly heard David yell. “Coralenna, you have to focus on me, you are not ready for this.” His voice was taking on a vibrant urgency, but the sound was slowly fading.
I felt his energy race up my arm, but before it reached my heart, I blinked and found myself standing on the grass in a well-groomed neighborhood.
Two-story homes sat back from the roadway, and I heard voices coming from the house in front of me, a soft blue colonial with a white porch. On the porch, a man stood staring out in my direction. A woman, just a bit shorter than he, stood beside him. My breath caught in my throat as I realized this was the same man who had been on his knees when I had died.
I stood frozen in place as the woman spoke to him.
“Joe said they have already announced the funeral arrangements and they wanted you to be one of the pall bearers.”
A stab of pain pierced my heart as he spoke. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“If she was your friend, then you need to do that. She would want you to do this last thing for her.” The hand that she rested on his arm made me want to move forward. She was only trying to comfort him, yet I felt that I should be doing the comforting, not her.
“How the hell do you know what she would want? Maybe she didn’t want to die! Maybe she wouldn’t want me anywhere near her grave because I killed her! You think about that?”
The assault of his words gave me pause. I stood only ten feet from the front porch now. My view glued to his features, my mind reached for something, anything that would help me understand who this man was. I knew without a doubt that I should know him.
The woman pulled him into her arms, her love was obvious, and the stab I had felt earlier in my heart radiated through my chest. Why should I feel jealous?
“I am sure she would have wanted to live, but she didn’t, Mitch. God had other plans for her, and if you were her friend, then you need to honor her by carrying her casket. Be there for her until the end, Mitch, she deserves that.”
Mitch, Mitch…the name vibrated through my mind, a memory of a stream, the sound of a motorcycle, the taste of coffee all flowed over my senses. I took another step forward as he wrapped his arms around her.
His eyes were clamped tightly shut, his body tense.
“I didn’t know her, but from what Joe says, you cared for her a great deal. You need to give her the love and honor she deserves, for her and for yourself.”
Love…Mitch…love…a kiss, the feel of a hand on my face, the taste of his lips—all the memories of the moments we’d shared breached the wall that held them back and washed over me. Mitchell…I was in love with this man.
I watched him as my emotions rushed forward. The sobs tore at my psyche, and tears blurred my vision. I stepped forward, wanting to go to him and tell him I was right here.
Before I could take my next step, Brock materialized in front of me like a solid wall, and I jumped back.
“How the hell did you get here?” His inquisitive expression bore into my face.
“I don’t know! I don’t even know where here is!”
“Come on, we need to get you back, you aren’t ready to be down here yet.”
He stepped around me, and I turned to see David watching me closely.
Over my shoulder I saw that Mitch was calming down while Beth rubbed his back softly. I clenched my jaw.
“Those are not emotions you are allowed to feel,” Brock snapped at me, and I spun towards him.
“What feelings? Right now the only thing I feel is totally confused!”
David stepped up to me, “Coralenna, I’m not sure how you did that, but we need to get you back.”
All three of us snapped our heads to the side when another voice spoke to us. “Training session?”
Brock stepped in front of me and David pushed me slightly behind him. Um, excuse me, guys, is there something I should know? I almost asked but could tell by the way they held themselves that something was happening and this wasn’t a good time to question them.
“What do you want?” Brock spit out at the other man, one I recognized from the scene. He had been talking to Mitch. His face floated in front of me for a second, and realization hit me: Joe. This was Joe and he was my friend, except David had just explained to me that normal people couldn’t see us.
I stepped around David and stared at Joe, “You’re Os Malos?” I sputtered out.
Joe’s gaze flipped to me and he smiled, “Hello there, Corey. Sorry they got to you before I did. We would have loved to have you with us. It’s not too late to change your mind, you know.”
David pulled me back to his side while Brock sneered at Joe, “You keep away from her, Joe.”
Joe examined our little group then directed his attention up to the porch where Mitch and Beth stood holding each other, oblivious to the drama taking place on their front lawn.
“Oh, I will, for now,” he smiled and started to turn away. “Nice to see you again, Corey. Hope to see you at your funeral,” he laughed, turned, and vanished.
“Where did he just go?” I was baffled at the instant appearance and disappearances.
“Doesn’t matter. David, let’s get her out of here.” Brock stepped forward, and David took my arm, gently pulling me forward. I turned at the last moment and saw Mitch and Beth pull apart.
We ended up on the balcony of my quarters, and within two seconds, Montgomery joined us.
“Why did you take her down there?” Montgomery stared at David.
David straightened his back, “What? I didn’t take her anywhere. We were talking on the beach and she just phased.”
Montgomery regarded him for a moment then turned to me. “How did you do that?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea!” I spat out, exasperated. “You are supposed to be explaining that to me! All I know is that I was standing there talking to David when I started hearing voices and I thought I was going to pass out. Next thing I know, I’m standing on the grass watching people talk.”
I didn’t mention to them that I knew who the people were. Obviously, my ability to phase was not normal, so would it be safe to say that my memory coming back wouldn’t be either?
Even as I explained myself, I felt pieces of my life filling up my mind. Memories of my years were clicking into place fast, too fast, and I felt dizzy. I swayed, and Brock started to reach for me but pulled away. David’s hand landed on me and he moved me to a chair.
I sat down heavily, staring at my knees.
“You aren’t hearing voices again are you?” Montgomery knelt down beside me.
“No, just felt dizzy for a moment. I’m fine now.” I forced a smile on my lips as I glanced at him and snuck a peek at Brock who had a tight expression on his face. Could he feel what was going on with me? I looked quickly away, guilty.
Montgomery patted my knee before he stood up, “Well, I guess we know who her charge is, don’t we?” He watched Brock closely, and I saw Brock shake his head and turn towards the railing.
“I’ve been assigned someone already? I thought I had to train first.” I leaned back in my seat, bending my head back to take in the men standing above me. The sky was dark now, how much time had passed since I had phased?
“Normally, you do have to train, but—” David stopped and turned to Montgomery. Brock turned around and glanced at them and then down at me.
No one spoke, so I finished the sentence, “But I’m special.” I nodded, not understanding anything. “G
ot it.” Yeah, not really, I thought to myself and examined my hands in my lap.
Montgomery blew out some air and shook his head, “I don’t understand it either, Coralenna, but for some reason, you are special.”
I laughed, “Gee, thanks!”
“That’s not what I meant, young lady, not what I meant at all. Generally, new guards have to train and it takes them awhile before they are ready to leave the Realm. Teaching someone to phase is hard, but you managed to do it on your own.”
“I didn’t manage to do anything on my own. I just got sucked out of here to there. I had no clue that I was doing it.”
“Well, that will just make it easier for you to learn to control it later. Let’s try something. Think about going somewhere, here, not in the living arena, and see if you can get there.”
“How do I do that?” I stood up and encompassed them all in a glance.
David stepped up to me and smiled, “Just think about someplace you have been here in the Realm, and then try to place yourself there.”
I turned slightly, uncomfortable with everyone watching me and tried to figure out where I wanted to go. I smiled to myself when I picked a place and then focused on it carefully. Picturing the room and the fixtures, my body tingled and my mind darkened just slightly before I felt a wave crash over me. I blinked twice and found myself in the locker room.
I giggled as I took in my new surroundings, but the laugh faded as the three men followed right behind me, appearing in the reflection of the full-length mirror.
David grinned from ear to ear, while Montgomery smiled softly and shook his head. Only Brock didn’t appear happy about my ability to phase, and I watched his lips tighten.
“Very good, Coralenna, very good,” Montgomery put his hand on my shoulder, and I felt the warmth of this friendship travel through me.
I glanced up at Brock, wondering what his touch would feel like. He stared me down. I wanted to step away, and I decided I didn’t really want to know what would pass between us.
“You know, it’s nice that you all followed me and all, but I kind of picked this place for a reason.” I raised an eyebrow at David.