by Stacy Eaton
When no feelings or words reached my soul, I lifted my hand, lowered my head, and turned away.
~ Brock ~
The steam from my coffee cup reached my nose, and I inhaled the strong rich aroma. I took a sip, but it tasted bitter on my tongue. I held my cup out and poured it over my balcony to the ground far below.
I looked up, not to the sky but to the ceiling above me, the one where Corey’s balcony blocked the sight of the sky directly above my head.
Of all the stupid things to say. I sighed and was about to go back inside when a figure running along the sand caught my eye: Coralenna.
I leaned my elbows on the railing, watching her as she dashed along the hard-packed sand next to the shore. Her arms were pumping hard, her legs strong and fast. She looked like she was trying to run from something. Was she running from me?
The urge to phase down and run beside her grew strong, but I resisted it. I needed to give her space. She would not want to see me right now. I knew that.
I turned back to my quarters, dropped off my coffee mug on the black granite countertop, and phased to David’s quarters.
He was standing at the stove, stirring eggs. “Morning, Brock,” he said without turning around.
I grunted and pulled out a stool.
“So how did that work out for you? Bringing Coralenna here, I mean.” His left eyebrow quirked up.
“What do you think?” I picked up a paper napkin and began folding it into triangles.
David laughed and dumped his eggs onto a plate. I heard the toaster pop and watched him reach for his toast.
Once he was seated, he blew on his eggs and took a big bite. “I imagine she was rather embarrassed and surprised.”
I snorted, “You could say that.” I tossed the napkin to the counter and leaned back.
“So did it hurt or help? Did you guys connect?” He slurped some coffee from a mug that was about half full.
“I don’t think it helped. Look, I need a favor.” I tapped the fingers of my left hand on the counter.
He stopped chewing and raised both eyebrows. “Yeah?”
I avoided his face and turned my attention to my hand, I stopped my fingers from tapping. “I need you to hang with her for a while, help her train.”
“That’s your job.” He started chewing again and scooped up another bite.
“Come on, David. She doesn’t want to see me right now. I just need—” I shook my head.
“What? You just need what?”
I watched him take a chunk out of his toast and chew.
“I just need help. It seems like when I get around her, I just say the wrong things.”
“The big old Brock needs help!” he laughed around the food in his mouth. “That’s one for the books.” He wiped his mouth with the napkin I had tossed down.
I climbed off the stool and walked to his kitchen window. I watched someone cutting some fresh flowers out in the garden.
I ignored his comment. “So will you?”
The scrape of his fork on his plate made the hair on my neck stand up for a second.
“Yeah, I’ll help, but not for you. I’ll do it for her.”
I nodded, not sure if he saw it or not. “Thanks,” I muttered before I phased down to the world below to busy myself with my charges.
~ Corey ~
The sand felt good under my toes. The sun warmed me from the outside, and the energy I burned warmed me from the inside.
While the sleep had been restful, I still woke up feeling agitated. I never imagined that when I died I would feel anything but peace, but I felt more stressed these days than during my life.
I felt his presence as he landed beside me, quickly dropping into my pace. I glanced at him and nodded. My breathing was too heavy and quick for me to speak.
David’s smile was fresh. The memory of the sounds I’d heard on his balcony the evening before flushed my face, and I pushed just a little bit harder.
We ran side by side, not saying anything for a good fifteen minutes. Finally, he slowed a bit, “Can we slow down? I’m getting a cramp. I just ate.”
We slowed to a walk. The sound of the water rushing up on the shore matched our heavy breathing for a few moments. His hand cradled the side of his waist.
“So what are you running from today?”
I snapped my head to the side, narrowing my gaze at him.
“Why do you think I am running from something?”
His smile grew, “You forget I have followed your training for several years. You only run when you are trying to get away from something.”
“Yeah, well you’re wrong. I woke up with a lot of energy. I just wanted to work some of it out.” I wiped a few drops of sweat from the side of my face. “Why are you here?”
“What? You don’t like the company?” He acted hurt, placing his hand over his heart.
I chuckled quietly, “No, I don’t mind your company. I’m just wondering if Brock sent you to check on me.” I glanced his way and saw him direct his attention out over the water.
“He had other things to do. He asked if I would help you train for a while.”
I muttered under my breath, “Yeah, I bet.”
“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.” He contemplated me for a moment, “He thought you might want a break from him.”
I stood beside him and shrugged, “Yeah, sure. Sure I need a break from him.” Why did those words taste sour in my mouth?
“So what has he been working on with you?” We turned to start the long walk back to our building.
“I was learning to follow him. Hide and seek Montgomery called it.”
“How’d you do with that?”
I laughed, “Pretty good. Once I figured out how to find his energy pattern, I found it easy to do.”
The laughter that came from him was so full of joy, “I’m not surprised. Everything is easy for you.”
The image of tears on Mitch’s face came to mind, “Not everything.”
David stood beside me and reached out to touch my arm, “Coralenna, I know it’s hard. It’s hard to leave the living world behind, but it will get easier.”
“When?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it is just harder for you because you remembered it all so quickly and you were able to go back and see the people you cared about when the pain was fresh.” His hand rubbed up my arm, the warm feelings of friendship and caring traveling into my heart and mind.
“Most of us don’t remember for a long time, by then we have been in training for a while, and we have come to terms with our death. When we are finally able to leave the Realm, our loved ones have learned how to deal with our loss and have moved on.”
I don’t want him to move on, I almost cried out.
“You need to let Mitch go, Corey. He has a life, a family. He needs to move on with that.”
I scrunched my eyelids tightly closed to fight back the tears that threatened, “I know.”
“You’ll see him again, and I bet when you do, he will be putting his life back together and thinking positive thoughts about the memories you shared.” He cupped my cheek, and I leaned into his hand.
“Thanks, David,” I smiled tearfully up at him and he pulled me into a hug.
After a minute, he leaned back, holding onto the top of my arms, “So, you want to see if you can follow me?”
“Try to lose me!”
He flicked my nose with his finger, “Okay, here it goes.” He phased away quickly. Taking the feel of his energy inside my body, I searched for it. I found it easily and followed, landing in my bedroom.
David was walking into my bathroom.
“Um, David,” I called out to him as I heard him turn the shower on, “what are you doing?”
David grinned as he walked back into the room, “Shower first, and then we will play. You need one after your run.” He waved his hand under his nose and scrunched up his face.
“Are you trying to say I stink?” I lifted my arm and sniffed, “W
hoa, okay, shower then play.”
“I’ll meet you on your balcony when you are done. I’m gonna go grab one myself,” he turned as he was walking out of my room, “unless you want to conserve water?” He hiked up his eyebrow mischievously.
I laughed, “Yeah, like that would go over well with someone.”
David matched my laughter, “Yeah you’re right. Brock would probably have a fit. See you in a little while.” Before he reached the door, he was gone.
I walked into the bathroom and stopped in front of the sink thinking about what he had just said. Why would he bring up Brock’s name?
“Like I care what Brock thinks,” I called out to the mirror as I pulled my T-shirt over my head. I don’t care, do I?
~ Mitchell ~
With dread, I knocked on the door frame of my chief’s office.
He lifted his head from the papers he was holding, his gray eyes meeting mine over his reading glasses. “Come in, Officer O’Reilly, I’ve been expecting you.”
I entered, trying not to appear nervous. Normally, it was rare to get summoned to the chief’s office. Unfortunately, this was the second time in a month for me.
“Close the door and have a seat,” he called out as he shuffled his papers and put them aside.
I closed the door and walked to the beat-up old leather chair in front of his large mahogany desk.
“You wanted to see me, sir,” I said as I sat down, my ankles crossed, my back straight and stiff.
His face was tight, his lips pursed as he assessed my face and body. I tried to hold a blank expression on my face, the one we use on the street so people couldn’t read our thoughts.
His hands held his reading glasses, and he tossed them to the desk. I watched them bounce once and slide over the desk blotter.
“I didn’t expect to have to call you back into my office after our last conversation.”
A pregnant pause ensued between us. “I didn’t expect to be called back, sir.”
He leaned on his desk, resting his elbows on the wood. “Then can you tell me why I just received another complaint on you?”
I tried to keep the embarrassment from warming the skin on my face. I knew what he was talking about, how could I not?
I considered my hands folded in my lap for a second as if they might have the right answer, “I’m sorry sir. I just got a little frustrated.”
“Frustrated? You call slamming a kid up against the wall and calling him a raging asshole, then telling him he should have kept his dick in his pants if he didn’t want the responsibility of raising a kid being a little frustrated?” He shook his head and picked up a pen. He leaned back in his chair again and clicked the lid of his pen on and off for a moment. I listened to the tic-tic of the cap, watching his fingers move back and forth slightly.
“What’s going on with you, Mitchell?” he asked sternly but quietly.
I glanced up from his pen to his face, looked away and shrugged.
I felt his sigh from across the room, “Is this about Officer Hamilton?”
My stare shot back to his. “No,” I answered tersely.
He regarded me with a tight expression. “Somehow I don’t believe you. You’ve been with us for over three years with not a mark on your record, but now your performance has gone down, and we’ve had two complaints on you this month. Your sergeant is worried about you. Hell, I’m worried about you.”
“I’m sorry sir. I’ll do better,” I replied, hoping that would be the end of it. My feet shifted apart, ready to stand and leave if he said I could.
“How are you dealing with her death?”
My throat tightened when I tried to respond, my swallow more pronounced. He glanced at my throat, not missing a beat. “I’m dealing.”
“I don’t think you are.” He crossed his left leg over his right at the ankle and leaned back further in his chair. “See, I’ve heard the rumors. I know that you were involved with her.”
“I wasn’t sleeping with her, Chief,” I blurted out, angry at the turn in the conversation.
“I didn’t say you were, Mitch. Whether you were having a physical or emotional relationship has nothing to do with it. You cared about her. You watched her die. I know that it has affected you.”
I visually explored his office, unable to meet his stare or deny my feelings.
“Do I need to send you for counseling?”
I shook my head, “No, sir.”
The room grew quiet. “It’s been five months since the incident. You need to move forward. You still have a long career in front of you, and if you keep going the way you are going, then you are going to lose that. Do you understand?”
We focused on each other, “Yes, sir.” My anger was bubbling under the surface, barely leashed. He had called it an incident—an incident!—like it was just another routine stupid call. I locked my jaw down, grinding my teeth.
“Just so I make myself clear, I’m going to allow you to deal with this a little longer on your own. If I get another complaint against you, or your sergeant tells me your performance is not coming back up to par, I will,” he paused for effect, “put you on suspension and require you to attend counseling.”
He leaned forward for emphasis, “Do you understand me, Officer O’Reilly?”
I relaxed my jaw and cleared my throat so I could speak, “Perfectly, sir.”
“Fine. Now get out of my office and don’t come back here like this again.”
I pushed up on the armrests of the chair, only too happy to be leaving his office, “Yes, sir. Thank you.”
As I reached the door, the chief cleared his throat, “And, Mitch.”
I was almost free. I blinked twice before I turned to face him.
“You need to let her go. You have a family, here and at home, that needs you.”
My voice would not have worked if I had tried, so I merely nodded to him and opened the door, stepping quickly out of his office and walking to the locker room.
Inside, I rested my head on the cold gray metal. Five months—if I can’t get past this in five months, can I get past it in five years?
My fist met with the steel door of my locker, the sound echoing through the room to my ears alone.
Corey, damn it, Corey, I miss you so much.
~ Brock ~
I felt the weight of his fist as it met the hard metal. I stood with my arms tightly crossed over my chest leaning back on the opposite side of the locker room.
I wasn’t supposed to be here, but I couldn’t stay away from him. He wasn’t dealing with this very well, and I dreaded thinking about Corey coming back to find him like this.
It would be only a matter of time before his voice would call out to her and she would once again hear it. None of us knew when, but I knew that her time was coming.
The Maker would send her to help him. Mitch was falling hard in the wrong direction, and I knew that the Maker did not want to lose this man to the other side. I didn’t either.
I was so tempted to reach out to him and comfort him, but I knew if I did, the punishment that I had already been dealt would become more severe. I had promised to stay out of it, to allow Coralenna do what she must do, even if it destroyed her in the process.
I winced as Mitch slammed his locker shut and walked towards the door, just as it opened from the other side. I stood straighter, tensing.
“Hey, Mitch, how did it go with the chief?” Joe asked as he walked into the room, unsnapping his gear belt.
“Just freaking lovely,” Mitch grunted at Joe’s back.
Joe laughed and turned towards me, the evil sneer on his face as our eyes met angered me enough that I wanted to fall the distance to the living arena and punch him in the face.
“You wanna go grab a beer?” Mitch asked as he washed his hands.
“Sure. You look like you can use it.”
Mitch’s laugh was almost painful, “Yeah, I can.” He dropped his paper towel into the trash.
“Anything to help a friend,” J
oe said as he dropped his duty belt into his locker. “Give me ten to shower and change, and I’ll meet you at Harry’s.”
Mitch was opening the door when he threw out his response over his shoulder, “Fine.”
“You going to stand there and watch me change or follow him around for your girlfriend?” Joe said as the door closed behind Mitch. “Hmm, ironic that you both love her. I wonder which one she will choose.”
“You know nothing about it.”
He pulled off his shirt. “I might know more about it than you think. Obviously, I must be doing my job and making you nervous if you would risk watching over him.”
“Whatever, Joe.” I phased before he could respond with another snide comment. He was right, I was concerned.
I landed in the common room of our building just moments before Montgomery joined me.
“You’ve been hiding,” he said with amusement as he sank to the couch and leaned back, crossing his legs out in front of him.
“No, I haven’t.” I sat on the arm of the opposing couch, crossing my arms.
He laced his hands behind his head, “And you were just with him.”
I stared down at his relaxed but intense position. “I was just checking on him.” I swung my foot slowly back and forth.
“And how is he doing?” he asked, genuinely interested.
“Not good. Joe is moving in on him, and Mitch hasn’t let go of her at all. It’s making him easy game.”
“Is it really that bad?” concern etched his voice.
I nodded, “Yeah, it’s that bad.” I stood up and dropped full onto the couch, slouching back. “I don’t know, maybe I made a mistake by taking Coralenna so soon. Maybe I should have allowed it to take its course.”
“What do you mean, ‘Taking me too soon’?” Coralenna appeared in the room just as I spoke the words.
Montgomery and I exchanged quick glances. “Nothing, we weren’t talking about you.”
“Yes, you were, Brock, I heard my name. What did you mean by taking me too soon? When I first got here a few people made reference to that.”
She stood defiantly in front of me, arms crossed. I wasn’t surprised she didn’t forget the remarks someone had made when she’d entered the Realm.
“Wasn’t it you that told me lying was a sin?” Anger vibrated in her tone.