by Scott Rhine
Max shook his head. “We can’t let her roam in a place like this. If they confuse her for a meal mammal, the whole mission is sunk. Worse, if she falls in the water, we’ll never see her again. She can’t swim.”
“Maybe Jeeves is with Roz.” Reuben tried her comm, but her status was marked In Meeting.
Sunning himself in an adjacent room, Kesh grunted, “Roz went to visit the Magi dome.”
“Why would they let her in? Delegations aren’t supposed to mingle before the opening day,” Reuben said.
Kesh shrugged. “She said something about duty to the mate she had left.”
Max opened his mouth to defend himself, but Reuben stopped him by saying, “We know you love Roz. Search the Goat dome for the singing fuzz ball, and I’ll go get your lady back. Roz can find Jeeves better than anyone. If you leave the dome without me, you might not get back inside.” He dragged a brush through his hair and splashed his face with cold water. I get us here with over a day to spare, and suddenly everything turns to crap.
Reuben activated the media drone in case he needed the force field. Daisy’s comm was blocked with the status Eating. Work stopped and people stared as Reuben dashed by. He had to check to make sure his pants were on. He stopped briefly at the central café to snag a couple croissants off a dirty plate that the patron was passing to the waiter. “Oo. Waste not, want not.” He shook hands with a stodgy salt-and-pepper Goat in a gray, pinstriped suit whose ID said Wasserling and something about the legislative assembly. “Reuben Black Ram. I’m here to shake things up. Big changes in the next few days. I’m looking for a blonde in blue mechanics coveralls … Well, aren’t we all? Did you see one come through recently?” His lack of sleep sounded like inebriation, so he stuffed his face with one of the pastries. It turned out to be filled with chocolate and spinach. He moaned with pleasure. “I’ve missed home cooking.”
Menelaus was already climbing on the cafeteria counter in order to peer through the ducts. Goats were scattering in dismay. Reuben called out, his mouth still full, “It’s okay. I asked him to find something. Not the blonde. Something else. It’s a surprise for tomorrow. Menelaus, try the Bat alphabet song while you work.” Jeeves might echo the melody back and reveal her hiding place.
His associate nodded and sang loudly and off-key.
“Buffoonery!” said Senator Wasserling.
Reuben had actually done some homework on the attendees. “You’re the chairman of the delegation. First in your class in political science at university. I’m impressed by your record.”
“Well, I try to vote responsibly.”
“I meant the school record for chugging a tankard of beer and running the naked kilometer. Were those on the same night?”
Wasserling sputtered for a moment before whispering, “Yes.”
“An honest man. That’s very rare. Makes me glad I am going to owe you a favor.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re going to let me do the keynote address for the colonization meeting tomorrow morning.”
“Outrageous.”
Reuben reclined in the seat next to the senator. “Guaranteed never boring. I guess my formal request as Black Ram isn’t good enough. How about this? Blythe Gentle, the ewe I intended to bear my first child, was assassinated by Blue Claws on my way here to talk about a charity. With the help of some good friends, I intend to hit them where they’ll notice, in the bank accounts.”
“What sort of charity?”
“One I gave over two million credits to in the name of Mnamnabo.” Reuben stood and patted the senator on the shoulder. “The pointy-eared gentleman singing into the kitchen wall over there will tell you everything you need to know. I have a couple wayward women to find.” He grinned rakishly at how that sounded.
Goats chatted with each other and pointed as Reuben left the compound. He found Daisy camped outdoors on a park bench outside the Magi dome entrance. She was sipping coffee from a disposable cup. He passed her the second croissant. “Chocolate for your thoughts?”
“Yes.” Daisy took an eager bite and moaned the same way he had. “I understand now why my sister let you do unspeakable things to her.”
“Have you seen Roz?”
She pointed to the Magi door with her coffee. “I caught her sneaking out and followed.”
“You neglected to unblock your comm.”
“Sorry. Wasn’t time. After the Magi let Roz in, things went nuts. Their auras lit up like Christmas. Of course, I can’t sense anything now that they’re in lockdown.” The doors to the psi-proof dome were three meters tall and curved to fit the archway. “Since then, the Magi have launched two shuttles.”
Reuben sat beside Ivy’s identical sister and reveled in the easy conversation. “I didn’t hear any shuttles.”
“Magi saucers don’t make a sound loud enough to wake you. Noise is wasted energy in their book.”
“How did Roz get in so early?”
“She told the door guard something about solving a puzzle, and they dragged her inside. Every Magi on the island is in there talking to her.”
“Have you seen our favorite mascot?” he asked, scanning the nearby trees for extra lumps.
“Roz put her in the pantry with the extra blankets so she’d sleep until afternoon playtime.”
“Ever the attentive mother.” He called Max and filled him in with monosyllabic answers. Next, he contacted Menelaus. Once he hung up, he announced, “You’re looking at the opening speaker for the Colonization Committee.”
“You work fast.”
“When I want something.”
Daisy cracked a genuine smile, and his heart skipped. “Are you ever not flirting?”
“I don’t with Max’s wives. Of course, they’re old enough to be my mother and grandmother. I hear you are, too.”
She slugged him in the arm. “Be serious. Is this attraction going to be a problem for you?”
I’ll still fantasize about Ivy every time I see you, the same way I remember the smooth burn when I see a bottle of scotch. I have to face both addictions and say no every day. “Fiona is my consort now. I don’t screw around.”
“She really can’t allow herself to get pregnant as long as she’s your pilot. Plus, she’s stuck on the dark side of the moon for the next month. You’re bound to have a horde of offers once the ewes find out you’re not sleeping with anyone in your entourage.”
Reuben leaned into her, pretending to cuddle. “Let’s keep that our little secret, shall we?” He would edit this part out of the recording later.
“Stay there for a while. You’re warm.”
Over the span of the morning, several diplomats wandered by to congratulate Reuben on his new status. A small herd of female Goat pages crowded around him at lunch, collecting autographs and slipping him link addresses. Every one of them posed for a photo with him.
“You’re a rock star,” said Daisy.
“Maybe, but the first jerk who offers me a snort of drugs is going to get slapped into custody as a Banker spy. I’m not dying the same way Xerxes did or even noble suicide against the Phibs like my father. The Goat people deserve better.”
He heard a faint echo of his words from the nearby hillock. “What was that?”
When Reuben wandered over to the kid in a janitor uniform reclining against the tree, he noticed a portable-entertainment device … showing a screen shot of a kid reclining against a tree. “Are you by any chance working for MI-23?”
“No, sir. Sorry to bother you, sir.”
“Not at all. I’ve pushed a broom or two in my day. No shame.” Reuben glad-handed the lad and forced a smile. Local meant local broadcast to all the Goats. That’s one way to protect against assassination and spies.
Reuben staked out the Magi door while Daisy went for pizza in the Human pavilion. He could have mentioned what he wanted for a meal on camera, and a delivery person would have mysteriously appeared. However, he didn’t feel like explaining to Daisy how their intimate moments had become
daytime melodrama. He cranked music from his favorite video-game series to pass the time.
Hours after Roz entered the Magi domain, the doors parted. Magi poured out, heading for their shuttles. Even the guards departed. Curious, Reuben knocked on the door frame. “Hello? Can I speak to Shiraz Ellison? Roz?”
A minute later, she appeared, dressed in a Magi robe. Her heavy necklace was gone. “You’re supposed to be resting.”
“Yeah, well, Max was worried about you. Come back to our room.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“The technicians went to examine Solemnity, and the others flew back to the Magi home world to spread the good news. Since I’m stuck here for the month anyway, they made me a delegate.”
Reuben blinked. “Just up and left?”
“It’s important. They sent multiple messengers on separate routes. A few people stayed to offer their apologies.”
“What could be important enough to skip the whole Convocation?”
Roz glanced down at the media drone. “As much as I care for you, I can’t discuss religious matters with non-Magi.”
How was the subbasement drive a religious matter? “And they couldn’t just send a coded ansible message?”
“It might not arrive. Speaking of finances, our debts are paid. Moreover, everything we spent on the ship’s repair loans, freeing Echo, or even the fuel will be reimbursed.”
Reuben slapped his forehead with his palm. “I can’t spend that much! What are you doing with your fortune?”
“I forfeited my share in exchange for Magi citizenship. The council endorsed my marriage and appointment to the academy.”
“Congratulations on the promotion. Should I send Max over?”
“Go.” Roz shut the huge door in his face.
A transparent Echo appeared beside him and pointed to a contingent of Saurians closing in on the door to the Goat dome across the compound. “Tell everyone to be safe and stay indoors.”
A moment later, his drone picked up suspicious radio traffic, and Reuben ducked behind a blue, swan fountain. He sent the drone to circle the Goat dome and observed over his wrist unit. Over the comm, he told Daisy to remain in the Human enclave until the speech tomorrow. Then he allowed the out-of-body Echo to lead him through the crowds to a side door. She vanished in the shadow of the dome.
His drone hovered high over the door, but no one looked up. The feed showed a single Saurian watching this entrance. Reuben removed his jacket and hat, piling them atop a puppet theater that was just setting up to entertain people eating lunch in the plaza. He leaned over and whispered to the proprietor, “How would you like to give a command performance for the Black Ram and his partners?”
“Yes, sir.”
Unnoticed by his enemies and broadcasting the whole time, Reuben helped the artist carry the miniature stage inside. The Goats in the hall cheered his arrival.
He looked forward to a long nap and then writing his speech.
Chapter 33 – Speech Writing
Jeeves sat in Max’s lap during the puppet show, enthralled. She looked like some sort of exotic lapdog lying on a large, furry afghan. After the entertainers left, Reuben turned off the drone, and Jeeves wanted to play with her bouncy ball. Next, it was dinner time, which required him to chop up an entire pineapple-like fruit while Max found some grubs. Reuben could barely finish his own meal because his eyelids kept getting heavier. “Being a parent is hard frilling work.”
“Yeah,” Max said, staring toward the Human compound.
“Don’t make me slap you. Roz cried for a long time after you parted ways. That witch, Trout, did this to suck you back into her world.”
“She’s not so bad.”
Reuben pulled the hair at the sides of his head. “Did your memory erase itself when her tits came out?”
Max held up a finger. “Show her some respect. She’s the mother of my child.”
“Really? Did you take a paternity test using cells you sampled yourself? She could’ve altered your service records.”
“I just confirmed the DNA personally.” Max scrolled through information on his wrist computer.
“Great. Now you’ll never escape her clutches.”
“Hey! I need to call Lisa and talk about visitation. She won’t agree if you’re insulting her the whole time.”
“I have a headache. I’m climbing up to the bell tower to rest.” Reuben picked a large beanbag pillow and a blanket.
Max handed him a coil of silk rope. “Take this in case you get cornered.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re a good friend, but some things a man has to work out for himself.” Max clapped him on the back.
By way of good-bye, Jeeves patted Reuben on the behind and said, “Sexy.”
Wonder where she picked that one up?
In the belfry, he was just drifting off when Echo appeared again. “Crap,” he said. “Who’s attacking this time?”
“No one. I wanted to thank you for helping me complete my life’s mission.”
“Your life isn’t over yet.”
“We aren’t likely to meet again, and you have been faithful to our triad.”
“Could you stand by me for moral support while I make my speech?”
Echo shook her head. “I am old. Even this conversation strains me. I cannot penetrate the tower or domes.”
“I guess we should both take a nap then.” He set up redundant proximity alarms in the stairwell and put the ball in watch mode.
Echo vanished like her name.
****
The intruder alarm woke Reuben over eight hours later, after nightfall. That’s when he realized he had no gun or neural staff. He lowered his head, ready to head butt the attacker off the parapet. Then Max walked up, deliberately making sound. “Hey. You said you wanted to work on your speech. Interest is so high, they’ve scheduled you in the main auditorium. Make sure it’s long because I’ll need every minute of distraction I can get to sneak this little bundle inside.” He placed the carpet bag beside the beanbag.
“Right. No pressure. Where’s your silence generator?”
Max said, “While I was scouting the tower, Turtle security detained me briefly. As a courtesy, they warned me in no uncertain terms that their toys mustn’t be used to commit crimes that might cause a diplomatic incident or embarrass them.”
“You’ll find a way in, bro. You always do,” Reuben replied. “You just need the right perspective.”
“I decided to follow your lead and sleep up here where it’s quiet. The Goat dome is a five-ring circus. Ewes have been dropping by non-stop to pay their respects.”
Groaning, Reuben trudged all the way back to his suite on the ground floor, with the drone trailing behind. Turtle tech devices never seemed to require charging. His bedroom door opened a crack before a chain caught. He saw Kesh fidgeting uncomfortably in a beanbag. “Max sent me back to fulfill my unpleasant obligation.”
Someone else slid off the chain. Fiona opened the door to reveal a lot of fur in very little purple fabric. “That’s the first time anyone’s ever referred to me that way. Let’s see if I can change your mind.” She pulled him close and planted a kiss on his lips. “MI-23 worries that the tension of our spending a month apart might distract you from your duties. The Magi sent me back before the midnight deadline with explicit instructions to prevent you from brooding too much and getting depressed. How do you suppose I can keep you from thinking and ease your tension?”
The drone dropped out the air into his gloved hand.
Kesh squeezed past into the hall. “I think I’ll move into the Saurian dome tonight. My tail can’t take this furniture anymore.”
Reuben didn’t spend any time writing his speech that night. He thought about it briefly during his morning shower … until Fifi invaded there, too.
****
As Reuben dressed for the big presentation, Fifi tied his tie for him. “Thank you,” she said.
&n
bsp; “What for?”
“You keep your word. I was fertile last night. I’m pretty sure one of the times stuck. We’ll be able to see the gender of the child by the time the Convocation ends.” She kissed him on the cheek.
“I thought you wanted to stay with me.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, putting a flower in his buttonhole. “You’re too important. We need an heir in case something happens to you on your adventures.”
So now I have no speech and no friends. He adjusted his ball to record without transmitting in case he wanted some part of the day kept secret. At the very least he could edit the speech down to coherent sound bites.
Fifi clung to his arm and waved to the Goat crowds as they strolled to the front door of the dome. Fifteen minutes remained until he would be introduced.
He wandered out into the open air of the courtyard between buildings and breathed in the air of his people. With all their flaws, they supported him. If only he knew what to do about the Bankers. On a whim, he bent to kiss Fiona. Fifteen minutes was enough time to solve anything. Without asking her, he established the mental connection and tugged.
Before she could do more than gasp, he snagged the next thread and the next. He pulled himself to the deck of the mighty ship by climbing the chains. Standing above the sea of chaos, he sought the answer. How do I stop the Bankers?
Blythe stood on the deck with him. “Unask the question. How do you stop your own circulatory system? We are all one.”
Reuben viewed the evidence from a hundred thousand viewpoints. Xerxes had attempted to apply the Magi engine formulae to social engineering. The equation was faulty because the Tellers were merely puppets of the Bankers from Nivaar. Furthermore, the backup mechanisms from the criminal underworld wouldn’t be ready to take the load for another two hundred years. If they put a stake through Nivaar’s monstrous, writhing heart, several planets would die without trade the first year, Niisham included.
He drew in the strength of giants, refusing to acknowledge defeat. “They pillage and despoil our people like a cancer. How do we stop this obscenity?”