by Penny Jordan
‘Louise is still in bed,’ Marian announced, breaking in upon these unhappy thoughts. ‘But, Kieron, haven’t you bought Briony anything?’
Briony longed for the question to have remained unasked, but then of course, as far as Marian was concerned, their marriage was perfectly normal, and she would expected Kieron to have bought his wife something.
‘Yes, I have,’ Kieron astounded her by drawling, his eyes amused as they rested fleetingly on her startled face. ‘But to spare her blushes I thought it might be better if I gave it to her when we’re alone. In fact,’ he added, getting up from the table, ‘I was going to ask if you would keep an eye on Nicky for us while I did.’
Marian laughed, and told him he was making Briony blush.
‘I know,’ was his wicked response. ‘I like it.’
There was no way Briony was going to get out of going with him, and with a rather forced smile she thanked Marian for looking after Nicky and got up to follow Kieron.
When he opened the french windows to their sitting room, she hesitated, and he watched her through narrowed eyes.
‘Scared?’ he taunted softly. ‘My gift isn’t anything physical, although you’re on the right lines. I’m hoping it will help that long-buried woman in you to surface. Here you are.’
He threw her a large oblong parcel wrapped in soft green tissue paper and tied with matching ribbons.
Confused, Briony caught it, fingering the paper doubtfully.
‘Open it,’ Kieron demanded softly. ‘Marian isn’t going to rest until she finds out what it is. You really are the most exasperating female,’ he added, when she made no move to open the parcel. ‘Any other woman would be consumed with curiosity.’
Realising that she wasn’t going to be allowed to escape until it was open, Briony hesitated over the wrappings. The name on the box when the paper was removed drew her brows together in a slight frown, but this was nothing to the expression on her face when the lid was removed and the contents of the box presented themselves to her startled eyes. Her fingers trembled over a dainty bra in peach satin trimmed with écru lace; matching panties so brief as to be almost indecent, a tiny, cobwebby suspender belt, and sheer silk stockings. There was also a nightdress in gossamer-fine silk and a matching negligee, but these she barely took in, her face going white and then a dull, dark red, as she stared at the silk and satin underwear.
‘How dare you buy me anything like this?’ she demanded at last in a voice which shook with rage. ‘How dare you!’
‘I wanted to remind you that you were female,’ Kieron drawled. He was standing watching her, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his manner outwardly relaxed, but she sensed within him a waiting, assessing quality which added churning sickness to her other emotions. ‘Or perhaps it was just to remind myself,’ he said coldly, his eyes suddenly darkening as she flung the box down on the bed. ‘There’s precious little other evidence.’
Quite why she should be so infuriated with the gift, Briony did not know. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that since Nicky’s birth there had never been money to spare for such luxurious items; her underwear had all been chain store purchased and bought to last; there hadn’t been the opportunity or the need to think of herself in feminine terms, and the sight of those feminine, frivolous pieces of satin and lace touched the deep aching chord inside her which had once thought only of dressing to please Kieron and which had slowly and silently died when he left.
‘Get out of here,’ she breathed quietly. ‘There’s no woman to be disinterred, Kieron, you destroyed her completely.’ She had her back to him and when she turned round the room was empty. Like a sleepwalker she crossed to the bed, touching the satin absently, folding the minute garments and putting them back in the box. It was a gift more suitable for the Louises of this world than for her. She opened a drawer and pushed the box as far into it as it would go, and then, holding herself erect, she went back to the patio.
‘Are you all right, Briony?’ Marian asked in concern. ‘You look pale.’
‘I’m fine. Where’s Nicky?’ She looked round for the little boy.
‘Oh, Louise wanted to go into Nice, so Kieron has taken her, and Nicky went with them.’ She frowned a little. ‘I’m sorry about Louise descending on us like this. Her mother is an old friend of mine, but Louise has never been one of my favourite people.’
‘She does seem a bit of a man-eater,’ Briony commented dryly, guessing what was worrying her hostess. ‘Am I right in thinking that she and Kieron had a bit of a thing together at one time?’
Marian’s smile was relieved.
‘How sensible you are, my dear! I thought you might be worried about Louise’s rather obvious tactics. I’m sure Kieron never felt more than a casual interest in her. It was the summer after he was so ill, and I’m afraid I rather encouraged her at the time. I was desperate for something to lift him out of himself. Those were dreadful times. I’m afraid I was rather bitter about you in those days, Briony. In fact you are far different from how I imagined you would be.’
‘You were bitter about me?’ Briony queried with a frown. ‘I’m afraid I don’t understand.’
Marian looked a little flustered.
‘Oh, my dear, I don’t want to re-open old wounds, but when Kieron came back from Africa and was so ill, I was sure you would have second thoughts. You see, he’d already told me about your first letter, but I persuaded him to write again. I was so sure you would relent. He told me what had happened, but when his second letter was returned without a word—well, I’m afraid I came very near to hating you.’ She broke off to stare at Briony’s white face. ‘Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Kieron warned me not to.…’
‘I’m very glad you did,’ Briony said in a shaky voice, ‘because you see, I’ve never written to Kieron in my life. Not when he walked out on me, leaving me to face the Press, and not even when I knew I was expecting Nicky, and everyone seemed to have turned against me. I vowed I never would. He’d made it plain that he wanted nothing more to do with me.…’
‘Nothing more to do with you? Briony, you’re quite wrong,’ Marian interrupted in shocked anger. ‘Why, when he came back from Africa, all through his illness all he thought of and spoke about was you. I never thought he would pull through, you know, and writing to you was my last hope. I thought that once he’d seen you, heard your voice, he would try to get better. It was almost as though he had a death wish, but his body defeated him, recovering against his will.’
‘Please…’ Briony demanded in a tremulous voice, ‘what are you talking about? Kieron left me after searching my flat for the evidence he needed for the Myers story, and I never saw him again. I woke up that morning…’ she broke off, blushing slightly, and then added bravely, ‘—expecting to find myself in his arms, instead of which I was completely alone. By the end of that day Kieron’s story was all over the papers and I was being interviewed by the police concerning my part in the Myers affair.’
Marian sighed. ‘Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry. I understand why you should feel so bitter.’
‘I waited for him to get in touch with me,’ Briony continued as though she had not spoken. ‘All through the court case I went on hoping, right up until Nicky’s birth, but there was nothing…nothing at all.’
‘Oh, my poor child!’ Marian said with compassion. ‘How could he contact you? Before the story broke he was contacted by the paper and ordered to take over from their war correspondent in Angola, who’d been shot and seriously wounded. He begged them for time—time to explain to you why he hadn’t been able to tell you about the Myers story, but they were adamant. Only a few planes were being allowed in and out of Angola and he had to be on the one leaving that morning.’
‘But surely he could have done something before he left? A note.…’
Marian’s eyes were puzzled. ‘But he did. He told me so himself, although very grudgingly. Kieron isn’t a man to confide his private hopes and fears freely to ot
hers, however close. He wrote to you begging you to trust him and have faith, saying he would explain as soon as he returned.’
‘I never got the letter,’ Briony said slowly, trying to remember the exact sequence of events on that dreadful morning. Had there been any letters that morning? There were some, for Susan, and she had left them in the kitchen. They had gone when she returned and one of her neighbours had told her with relish of how the police had arrived while Susan was in the flat and how the other girl had left with them. Susan! The blood left her face. What if Kieron’s letter had been delivered during the morning and Susan had opened it? Bitter and resentful, might she not have destroyed or withheld it as a means of getting back at the girl who had in all innocence been the means of her brother’s downfall?
‘You’ve thought of something?’ Marian declared shrewdly.
‘My flatmate, the girl whose brother was convicted—she returned to the flat that day.’
‘And she could have misappropriated the note and replied to it? But of course! Kieron did say he left instructions for it to be delivered by hand.’
‘But that doesn’t explain why he made no attempt to contact me afterwards,’ Briony persisted. ‘Surely.…’
‘Briony, he couldn’t,’ Marian said gently. ‘When he was in Angola he was taken prisoner and he was in gaol for six months. Eventually he managed to escape and make his way to the border where he was found in a delirious state. It was six weeks before he was well enough to leave hospital. He was as thin as a skeleton and had contacted a very debilitating fever. At one stage he even seemed to have lost his memory, and it wasn’t until he came to me to recuperate that I learned what had happened between the two of you. Oh, he didn’t tell me,’ she added when Briony looked surprised. ‘I told you, he had the most dreadful fever, and he was delirious. It didn’t take the intelligence of a genius to work out that the ‘Beth’ he called for so continuously was very, very important to him. When he had recovered enough I taxed him with it, and the whole story came out. He was very bitter about the whole thing. He’d wanted the paper to delay the story and give him time to tell you himself, but they were afraid that if they didn’t print it straightaway, someone else would. For a long time I honestly thought he was going to die. He made no effort to recover, and then at last, in desperation, I coaxed him into giving me your name and address, and I wrote to you begging you to get in touch with us. When the letter was returned unopened it seemed to change something in him. He became much harder, and then Louise came to stay with me, and she made him laugh, and I knew he was going to live.’
A jumble of emotions held Briony still.
‘I moved,’ she said in a low voice. ‘I had to change my name because of the publicity, and I let the flat go. I bought a house, for Nicky.…’ Tears welled and splashed down on to the table, and then suddenly she was crying as she hadn’t cried in years, and Marian was comforting her as though she were Nicky’s age.
‘I think this calls for a cup of tea,’ she said firmly, when at last the flow had stopped.
Briony responded with a weak smile. ‘The universal panacea!’ She wondered if Marian thought it strange that Kieron had said nothing of all this to her himself, and then realised from the shrewd look Marian was giving her that the older woman hadn’t been entirely taken in by their deception.
‘You do love him, don’t you?’ she asked softly.
Briony managed a watery smile. ‘What would you say if I said “no"?’
‘Call you a liar,’ Marian retorted frankly. Then she smiled. ‘Because it’s your birthday, Héloise is preparing a very special meal for tonight. It’s always easy to give advice, Briony, and always hard to take it. Despite the magnificent efforts you’ve both made to hide it, I can tell that things aren’t entirely as they should be between you and Kieron. He’s a man with considerable pride and I suspect finds it difficult to lay his head on the block a second time. Find a way of showing him how you feel, and I’m sure you’ll find he will meet you half way. You already have the deepest bond that human beings can have—Nicky,’ she explained gently, when Briony looked puzzled. ‘You bore Kieron’s child even when you thought he’d deserted you, and you love him. Let that be your stepping stone across the river that divides you.’
Marian’s revelations kept Briony’s thoughts busy for the rest of the day. When Kieron and Louise returned from Nice she watched Kieron teaching Nicky to swim in the pool, Louise’s pouting face showing how much the other girl resented Kieron’s attentions to his child.
‘Let’s go out for dinner tonight,’ she suggested, with a kittenish yawn as she stretched out full length in a minute white bikini, placing herself strategically where Kieron couldn’t help but notice the smooth golden curves.
‘It’s Briony’s birthday, and Héloise is making something special to mark the occasion,’ Marian said pleasantly but firmly. ‘But if you want to go out, Louise, don’t let us stop you.’
For a moment resentment flashed in the other girl’s eyes, but then she shrugged disdainfully.
‘So, it is your name day,’ she said speculatively to Briony. ‘Did Kieron buy you a gift?’
The suspicion she had been harbouring that Louise had been responsible for the purchase of the underwear died instantly, to be replaced by a small imp of mischief.
‘Mmm…I think I’ll wear it tonight,’ she murmured idly.
Louise looked puzzled, and Kieron showed no sign of having overheard. But Marian’s revelations had given Briony the courage to do things she would not have contemplated before, and if revealing the woman she had once been was the way to re-awaken the love which had once blazed between them, then she was more than prepared to do so.
‘Look, Mummy, I’m swimming!’ Nicky shrieked, splashing enthusiastically at the water, while Kieron supported him.
‘Lovely, darling,’ Briony smiled appreciatively, mentally reviewing her wardrobe. She couldn’t wear the black dress again, and yet she had nothing else suitable for a celebratory dinner.
‘I wonder if I could borrow François and go into Nice?’ she asked Marian apologetically. ‘Birthdays haven’t come very high on my list of priorities recently, and I haven’t anything to wear.’
Marian burst out laughing. ‘Quite a change from the girl who announced she didn’t need anything yesterday!’ she teased. ‘Of course you may, my dear. Would you mind if I came with you?’
This time Briony studied the boutiques closely. She knew what she wanted, and Marian glanced at her in surprise as she examined and discarded several dresses.
‘What exactly are we looking for?’ she enquired curiously.
Briony smiled wryly ‘Something I can wear over satin and lace underwear.’
For a moment Marian’s eyes widened in perplexed surprised and then she laughed. ‘Oh, I see—the mysterious birthday present. Look, I know somewhere that specialises in silk separates. Let’s try there.’
Half an hour later they returned to the car, both feeling very satisfied with themselves. The boutique had proved to have exactly what Briony wanted—a softly shaped silk skirt in palest peach teamed with a matching blouse in silk, but embroidered like broderie anglaise, sleeveless and cut low over her breasts, edged with a tiny provocative frill and fastening down the front with tiny pearl buttons. She had also bought a pair of ridiculously spindly-heeled sandals to match, which for all their outrageous price were little more than a high heel and several slim strands of plaited leather across the toes.
‘Just right for sheer stockings,’ Briony commented impishly to Marian as she paid for them, and after a startled glance the older woman had replied thoughtfully, ‘I’m beginning to see what Kieron means when he talks about the woman you’ve buried away, although now she seems to be re-emerging with a vengeance!’
* * *
Briony purposefully waited until Kieron was ready himself before changing for dinner, and she was aided in this unknowingly by Marian, who suddenly remembered that such a celebration demanded something spe
cial to drink and asked Kieron to go out and get it.
‘Champagne, of course,’ Briony heard her saying as Kieron followed her out of their sitting room, ‘and I understand Héloise is giving us duck with orange for the main course.’
When he had gone, Briony had a leisurely bath, soaking herself in her favourite bath oil, her hair tied up in a knot to keep it dry.
When she emerged from the perfumed water she dried herself and sprayed her body liberally with a perfumed emollient. What had Kieron called her the other night—‘a sacrifice to Bacchus?’ Her hands trembled on the satin underwear. Never, ever in her life had she set out to deliberately entice a man as she was doing tonight, and for that reason alone she simply dared not think of failure. Her colour was high as she caught sight of herself in the sheer stockings and cobwebby lace. She was just reaching for her blouse when the door suddenly opened and Kieron strode in, stopping dead as he saw her. For a second his eyes widened in entirely male appreciation and then he was smiling, no emotion discernible in his expression but satisfied comprehension as he drawled mockingly.
‘So I was right after all.’ His fingers ran lightly along one silk-clad thigh and Briony’s flesh trembled in response. ‘What wrought the change, I wonder?’ Before Briony could tell him, he had turned away, leaving her breathless and faintly disappointed. ‘I’ll go in and have a look at Nicky while you finish dressing. Unless of course you want any assistance?’ One dark eyebrow rose sardonically, and Briony longed more than she had longed for anything in her life for the sangfroid to say casually, ‘Yes, please.…’ But she still lacked the courage for such responses, and although her eyes appealed for help, Kieron was already walking towards Nicky’s room, leaving her no alternative but to pull on the peach silk blouse and fasten it with fingers which had suddenly become terribly clumsy.