Dar finally turned around and lifted his eyebrows. Don’t be dramatic Beth. I’m doing what I can with what I have. But you seem to forget that you are not the center of the universe. I know you’re the number one target for the Carvers and Magical Council, but so is Shane and I don’t see him in my face making my life a nightmare. Instead he’s working with me and the pack getting this town back to normal. But you haven’t noticed because it’s all about you. Has it escaped you that if you die, I die? This is why I treat you the way I do. You react without thinking about the consequences. That’s not safe, Beth. And instead of caring about the person you’re bonded to, you start fights with my pack members when you should try to be the bigger person and understand that they’re scared of you. You’re bonded to me remember, so you have to accept I am a part of this pack. And since you are my mate, this is your pack too, but do you care? No. You want to get some air.
I walk away without responding. I don’t teleport because, damn it, his words sunk in so deep my mind feels shredded. My fire that was strong and blazing a second ago has fizzled. I can feel it, but it feels like a million bricks in my stomach. It’s so heavy I can barley walk.
I stumble for a while and end up in front of the house that trapped me. His house. I look around and notice that his house is secluded, backed into the forest a way. The whole pack land is at the base of three mountains. There are only a few on the outskirts. Then there are several dirt roads that lead into the forest.
I kick a few burnt chunks of metal. I try not to remember what happened in here, but the memories are too fresh and I see them and practically feel them vividly. My fire swirls up my stomach, alleviating my despair but not my anxiety. I let the magic flow to my eyes. My stomach boils as I behold the pink strip surrounding the crumbled basement. It didn’t occur to me until now that if I was ever caught again I would need help to get out, and I would be damned if I had to ask Dar again. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Cory.
Me: Need you to make me something just incase I get stuck in another trap.
Cory text back a few second later. Cory: Will do. Shane checks for the pink line(?) before we go anywhere.
Me: I bet. How long will it take?
Cory: Three days maybe. Shane and I are going out of town for two days.
Oh yeah, I forgot. Shane is always taking her to new places on his weekends. I don’t let it get to me to see the vast difference in mine versus Cory’s relationships.
I looked down at the ashes and charred wood. I don’t know what Dar has planned when he rebuilds his house. He hasn’t even started on it, which is why we have been sleeping outside in sleeping bags. I miss being on a bed. At this rate I doubt we will have a house when winter comes in a few months.
I squat down and get a good look at the mess. Not that he would ever ask for my opinion, but, there is a better place for a house a little way over. Plus, it would have a creek in the back yard.
“I would like to see you rebuilt over there,” I point to the space. My stomach wiggles a bit and I watch curiously as the ash starts swirling and then it falls abruptly. Interestingly, the small chunks are now bigger chunks. I fold my arms and stare. Could my magic really put the house back together? I could fix things sure, but ash is millions of little pieces.
Hoping that Dar isn’t listening, I say the words out loud, instead of my head where I know he listens closely, “Reconstruire la-bas.” My stomach drops and I feel my words become reality.
It was like watching someone doing a million small, grey Rubik’s Cubes. Dust was floating off the ground and surrounded each Rubiks Cube that was growing larger and larger. Everything is happening at once. Then I see the dirt begin to move where I want the house to rebuild. I see pipes and concrete, and stone all rolling to their rightful spots.
I look around to make sure no one is watching this. And thankfully everyone is on the other side of the village. I looked back and smile at how amazed I am that this is actually working.
The foundation seems to bubble from the ground up. The wood slides in like a crazy game of Tetris and the frame work solidifies into place. I even see the vines from his plants slither to their new spots. Tomatoes and herbs line the side of his house.
The tree that had fallen from the fire is forming and slowly moving next to the other trees to claim it’s spot. It was amazing because that tree was thick. I kept looking around because I worried that someone was going to see, or that Dar would stop me at any moment.
When it was finished I checked to see if there was a pink line outlining the basement. It wasn’t there. I step up to the new porch and run my hand over the doorway. It is wood and it smells fresh. Inside, I see the kitchen, table, and bar to the right. In the middle is a big, open living room with several big, lazy boy seats. I walk to the almost empty bookshelf. There is one brown leather notebook, and then a picture of a boy with long black hair and copper skin. He had some looks like Dar, but more like his father. It dawned on me that this was his brother. The one who had died when we were in high school.
I put down the picture and wonder what happened. I don’t get a chance to wonder long because the front door creeks open. I look up to see Dar’s awed face as he looks around. His eyes find me and I want to mentally stab myself for being such a daisy. His look of appreciation and awe has my belly twirling like ballerinas.
He laughs softly in his chest, “Ballerinas?” I try not to show how his mood affects me. I am sure this happiness is a fluke. Dar’s eyes sparkle in laughter, "Come on. We are all eating together in the hall and I know you didn’t eat the sandwich." He holds out his hand to me and I hesitate, wondering what has come over him. Then I see something pass behind his eyes and I can feel the change in his mood.
His eyes narrow at me. “But if you’d rather stay, no one would care.”
I let my magic up to my eyes.
Knock it off. He orders.
I let my magic go, pissed he can stop me from even thinking to myself. I stomp to the door. Before I open it I remember something and wrap myself in my white room before Dar can stop me.
I knew he was going to be pissed but at this point, who cares. Not me. He was probably going to order me never to go here again so I needed to make sure this time I formulated a perfect plan.
I am leaving. That is going to happen and he is not going to stop me. I just have to figure out a way to get out without him stopping me. And I was also going to have to stop being tricked by his niceness. I swear it was like bi-polar or possessed or . . . then I remember what the witch said. He still has the poison in him.
Poison? It looked more like something was inside him, not just a liquid poison. Or maybe that’s it, the thing inside him was poisoning him from the inside. What if the poison made him that way? Actually, the better question is, how do I get it out of him?
I sit on the white lazy boy for a while, turning several options over in my head. All options will take too long and I will only have seconds when I leave this white heaven. I can’t ask the healer to help get it out, that thing inside him would stop me. I have to think!
Then I remember Cory’s birthday and how my fire attacked the caffeine potion she made. Maybe I could do the same with the poison. What if I use my fire to kill it? I can do that, and I’m sure it will hurt like hell, but if I was ever going to get away from Dar, I was going to have to talk to the real Dar. The one who smiled at me from time to time. The one I hope I can reason with.
With one last long breath, I leave the white heaven and am grabbed immediately by Dar’s powerful hands.
“You may never go there again,” his words solidified and I feel my magic accept his order. I fight to free my arms but he has pushed me against the door and leans into my face, his eyes searching me. He begins to say something but I quickly say, "Posion, entrent en moi maintenant." I almost fear my words didn’t work because I didn’t feel my stomach drop for another two heart beats.
Dar’s tight hold stays as he opens
his mouth but nothing comes out. He opens again and still nothing. He narrows his eyes and I can see the wolf in him warning me he’s coming.
Then his eyes fade back and all I see is black moving back and forth like dull slimy tar. Dar’s grip has loosened finally. I wiggle out of his arms and watch as he remains fixed forward but his body is tilting back and forth.
Then his black slimy eyes turn my way and in a tone I have never heard before, he asks, "What did you do?" I watch as his beautiful skin fades away and I see thick white scars appear on his skin. They are gnarled, jagged scars crisscrossing as if he had been whipped and sliced to ribbons, and somehow he healed. I stand up and look over every single scar.
They were awful. One scar looked like his head had even been severed. Every joint looks like it has been cut and the man I once knew, the perfect gorgeous man, looked emaciated, frail and sewn together by his scars. His cheeks swallowed and his lips were cracked.
The poison began moving past his eyes once more, but with his skin so translucent I could see the slime moving under his skin.
The black recedes from his eyes and I see the brown eyes I know belong to Dar. He looks stoned as he slowly looks down and observes his arms, "What did you do Beth?" He flips his arms the other way and he swallows in between shallow breaths, “Why can I see these?”
The film takes over his eyes again and it makes my stomach tense, "You shouldn't have done that." His mouth curls up at the side and I can see something coming out of his mouth. It’s greyish black and it is not only coming out of his mouth, but his pours. It floats in the air like vapor slowly wafting in my direction. I tense the closer it gets until it reaches me. I watch disgusted as the cloud surrounds my exposed skin and is sucked down like water would in a desert.
Several sharp pains run up my arms and into my head immediately. But it’s not just a sharp pain, it’s full of all Dar’s old emotional scars. All the bad memories flash in my mind as if I am experiencing them, too. I can see and feel someone sawing into my neck. I can hear the poison telling me that I deserve it. That everyone hates me because I’m mated to a Carver.
My vision is black and all I can see is what the poison is showing me. Then it moves from my eyes and I feel my skin being cut from my body. It’s unbearable and I just scream and scream.
When that memory fades I open my eyes and see Dar’s face start to blur. My eyesight is fading again. I don’t want to see anymore of these memories. I don’t even know why anyone would hurt him like this!
I see his outline fall to his knees and then curl over, pounding the wood floor.
"Beth..." My name sounds weak on his lips. I can see a puddle of blood on the ground but I don’t know if it’s his or mine. The blood is slowly heading my way and I slowly sit on the ground to accept it. I can’t watch the poison come into my skin, so I look away and focus on some odd-shaped black lump shaking violently in the center of the entryway.
The blood has reached my fingertips. AH! It slices into my skin. It feels like glass in my veins again. I try to focus on my fire to help burn his poison. It is not like a potion from Cory. It is hatred, anger, bitterness, and grief. It is enough to make me want to kill everyone and everything.
I take in a breath and let out my fire, letting it wrap around me. The fire is melting the poisonous glass in my veins, but more hate and rage and wrath keeps pouring in by cutting into my skin. I have never felt like this. I have never been this bitter. I have never hated like this. Dar had shaped the poison to his emotions. He fed the poison. Everything in the way he thought was poison. The way he would move, was one more way to hurt someone, to separate himself from others. To stew in his own filthy thoughts. A large glass ripped through my lower back and I screamed.
The fire inside me rages on. It took a while, but the baseball-sized shard of poison finally melted. I can't feel the floor anymore. The heat is intense. I scream again, and I feel something break. My skin. Another rip down my back and I am sure the poison is killing me. My own fire is trying everything to keep me alive. I claw at the air. I can't tell where my skin ends and the fire begins. I can't see anything but white.
My scream morphs. I feel heavy. And then I see my wings. I don’t feel the pain anymore. I take in several clean breaths and search myself for any lingering poison. I slowly move my head because I am kind of cramped being in my dragon form.
Under one of my wings is a black and brown wolf curled up. He has black with brown patches on his feet. He looks at me with his ears flat against his head. I try to reign in my fire but it doesn’t budge.
Can you hear me Dar? I ask mentally.
Yes. His voice was scratchy and deep. Not his normal voice. I bowed down my nose. Come here.
He eyed me, hesitantly.
You are going to give me the rest of the poison and my heart.
The wolf put his head down but backed up from under my wing. When he was by the door he morphed back to a human. He stood naked for a moment before holding out his hand and I hear him tell me telepathically, Take your heart. But leave the poison. The poison is my punishment, not yours.
I nudge his hand with my nose and use the rest of my magic to take the poison. It is in small pieces, but I take it all. It must be just as painful to him as it is for me because his whole body is shaking and his jaw is hard as steel.
He drops his hand from my nose and rubs his eyes. I told you not to take the poison. He looks up and waits for me to say something.
I didn’t know the answer myself. I guess he didn’t mean it because I didn’t feel compelled to leave the poison inside him. I’m not going to think of why right now.
Now I need the last piece of what belongs to me, so I can finally be free of him. I let my memory fall back to when he was young. I picture him in the hospital. He chest and neck are almost all wrapped in gauze. I remember grabbing his hand-
I love you Beth. He says the words as if they are sacred. I feel my fire recede a little. I shake my head and force my fire to listen to me and not my emotions. I’m not going to let my feelings get the best of me. I push on my fire, but it recedes even more until I am naked and human again.
I stand up, unashamed and shake my head, not letting him stop what needs to be done. He is the one who keeps saying I bonded to him without asking. Well I am going to give him what he wants. And I know he doesn’t want my heart, so I am allowed to take it back without the fear of dying.
Dar’s eyes are downcast but I hear him in my head. I was already broken before you met me. I couldn't heal myself from the hatred. I didn't know how. And whatever it was that was inside of me didn’t let me rest for a long time before I was swirling out of control, even back then.
I went looking for a way out that day I attacked the bear. I hoped it would kill me. But I was lying alone in the forest, I was even more angry that I let that thing get the better of me. So I yelled for help, unable to turn into my wolf because I was so weak.
I woke up in the hospital knowing I was going to have to work harder against the thing inside of me, until you came to me in the hospital. I couldn’t see you but my wolf knew you the sensed he smelled you. I prayed every day hoping that you would know what to do. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you Beth. I swear. But I was so broken. And the only thing keeping me together was my pain, and the only thing giving me hope was your beautiful heart.
“No! Don't mess with me Dar! Don't mess with my head!” I have a feeling that I’m crying but the tears, thankfully, are evaporating.
Dar steps to me, and in one quick swipe he wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me to him. Our foreheads touch and his eyes are still closed. "I lied Beth," he said haggardly, "if you take your heart you die, not me."
I know.
My fire is circling both of us, but the intensity is changing. It is fading, slowly. Dar is still holding me close enough to feel his breath brush over me. I can feel the anxiety in him and it’s the first time I can feel anything from him other than
his anger. What surprises me the most is his scent is still so incredibly addicting. I still want him. I guess that is something to be expected when you give your heart to someone.
He leans in the last few inches and kisses my lips. I am hesitant at first. If he was broken when I met him, then who is the real Dar? I put my hand against his chest to push him away, but I never find the strength. I love the way his body feels against mine. A new fire is awakening.
I feel his mouth open and his tongue run across my lips. He is putting his whole heart into this moment. This is my moment to decide. I could finish this. I could. I could leave him with his disoriented brokenness. But if I stay and accept him, I am going to have to accept the person he really is underneath all that poison. The person I don’t know.
His chest vibrates and I can feel an ache coming from him. A pleading in the form of his kisses. His emotion is exposed to me and I feel that the words he said about me are true. He needs me and he is willing to take me however he can get me, even if he looses me now, he will follow me forever. He didn’t say the words, but the flood of emotions coming from him verify it’s true.
It isn’t a hard choice. I open for him. I let my chest fall against him to feel his skin. I need to feel him. His kiss is ragged and desperate. I bite his lip and grab him, letting my nails dig into his neck.
Dar kneels, bringing me with him. I can feel his nails scratching down my thighs, and then a moment later I can feel him cupping my sex. There is nothing separating his skin from mine this time. He runs his mouth down my neck and I can feel tingles all over. He nips my skin and the tingles shoot right to where his hand is.
"Don't hold back this time," I beg, because I need all of him this time.
"Shhh,” he continues to explore my skin with his mouth. When he is just above my breast he bites his lip. “I promise not to hold back," he says with a tone I swear is more wolf than man.
I feel triumphant. He wants me. I arch my back into him wanting him to take what I am offering.
The Carver's Magic Page 24