“Yay!” she clapped her hands in that childlike way of hers. “And you found a dress for the party?”
“I did,” I nodded. “I didn’t show you, did I?”
“I’d love to see,” she said, raising a brow. “If you’re okay with not spoiling the surprise?”
I laughed. “Well, I need a second opinion—or it might not be a good surprise.”
She pulled a face. “You know it will be. You always look good.”
“Thanks.”
I went through to the bedroom and put it on. The whisper-soft silk slipped down over my head, and I remembered getting undressed here the previous night. The images ran through my head vividly and I bit my lip, holding back a smile. I wasn’t even going to think about what Jess would say about my crazy nights here. She’d probably be shocked.
I had to admit I looked good.
With shoulder-length, jet-black hair, her shoulders wide and lightly muscled, the dress showing a shot of cleavage and toned arms, hanging in wafting skirts down to my feet, I had to see that I looked good. I recalled the previous night and the strange expression I had seen in Tyler’s eyes.
“Well, maybe they weren’t just there for the thrill.”
I smiled to myself. I wasn’t going to let myself dwell on Tyler and the way he looked at me. I went out to show Jess.
“Wow,” she breathed. “You look so good. Where did you get that?”
“That new boutique—Amelia’s.” I turned in the empty space beside the coffee table, feeling shy and pleased by her reaction.
“Oh, wow. I want to go there now also,” she said with a chuckle. “You know—I still haven’t decided yet. I’ve got some things in mind. Maybe you could come around and check them out?”
I bit my lip. My week was full. I could, at a push, do Tuesday. “Um—Tuesday evening?”
“Great!” she grinned. “See you for a dinner party.”
“Great.” She leaned back, content, then jumped up.
“Oh heck! Is that six thirty already?”
I frowned. “It is.”
“Damn!” she said. “I promised the retreat guys I’d be there by seven! Oh, hell…” she grabbed her handbag and vaulted through to the front room.
“Where?” I asked, already heading back to the bedroom to change. “Can I drive you there?”
“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s not too far…I’d just better rush. I’ll see you Tuesday, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. Great.”
She gave me a big mint-and-lemon scented embrace—I never had figured out what her perfume was—and then raced to the door.
I was behind her when she opened it, which was why I saw the two figures in the hallway.
Jess blinked at the paired NFL football players who were facing my door like they were striding up the gridiron. I groaned inwardly. “Sorry, guys! Just on my way down.”
I let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t think they had anything to do with me.
“Bye,” I called to her, studiously ignoring the two of them where they stood with wolfish grins on their faces.
“Bye!” she shouted back. “See you soon!”
“Great,” I added with just the faintest irony as I turned toward my new visitors. “You,” I said. My voice was flat with rage.
Jake grinned. Tyler stared. I recalled that I was in my party dress, all light and floaty. I looked down at it and up at him. He was gazing at me like a traveler staring at a mirage in the desert. I blushed. It could, in that moment, have just been us in my hallway.
I cleared my throat, trying to decide what to say.
“I am going to regret I ever brought you here,” I said sternly. I was looking at Jake, not Tyler—years of dealing with people administratively suggested to me that he was the troublemaker. Even though all my ire was directed at him, it was Tyler who looked crushed. I didn’t look at him.
“Ms. Richmond,” Jake began hastily, “I can explain. I, um…we…”
“Explanations are what you give before you arrive,” I said in a formal tone. I tried to act as if I was in front of the boardroom. Not standing in my own hallway dressed in a new silk party frock, facing two muscle-bound trespassers.
Jake nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“And you can stop that right now,” I said, frowning. “I am not letting either of you in here.”
“You’re not?” Jake teased.
I almost slapped him. I would have, I think, had not Tyler stepped forward.
“Um, I’m sorry,” he said. “I know this is sudden. I know we shouldn’t have just arrived like this but, um, we wanted to invite you to the game next weekend?”
I stared at him. My jaw fell in surprise. “You are serious, aren’t you?” I said.
He nodded. “We were thinking that, um, we would like to have you there to show that we appreciate your interest?” He looked desperately at Jake. I wondered how much of this was planned and how much of this was Jake’s idea of causing trouble. I looked at both of them.
“Okay,” I said. “Let me get this straight. You barged in here—and I still don’t know how you got past the doorman but that’s not the point—and almost scared the hell out of my guest, without warning. You did all that, to invite me to a game? No, thank you.”
Jake looked at Tyler. I could almost intercept the confused tones. What did we do? I dunno. Seemed like a good idea, didn’t it?
I sighed. “Look, guys,” I said, blushing hotly as Tyler stared at me again, eyes lingering on the neckline. “I enjoyed our time together. But this is ridiculous. I am giving you ten seconds to leave, or I will call security. And that won’t do you any good. Got that?”
Jake looked at the ground. “Um…okay,” he said. “Tyler? Are we going?”
Tyler looked at Jake and looked at me and the look was so crushed, so miserable, that it took what remained of my heart and twisted it painfully. I frowned. I was not going to let that look reach into me like that. I was not going to put my heart on a plate for people to hurt. Not again—not after Levine.
I glared at him and saw that look wither, be replaced with shock and then anger. Good. Just what I wanted. I felt an anger rise in me to match it. “Okay,” I said. “Here we go. I’m counting. Ten, nine, eight…seven….”
By the time the countdown had reached five, they had left.
I heard the lift start going down and I didn’t move from the hallway until I had heard the distant echo through the window of the front door, closing. They had gone.
I sighed. I felt completely drained. I hoped that was the last of them.
I dragged myself over to the couch and sat down. Why was I so tired? I felt completely and utterly worn-out. I looked down at the dress I was wearing. I sighed. Bent down to remove one of the pair of heels. No point in putting my toes in agony anymore.
“Ryanne, get a grip,” I said to myself crossly. “They were here, they’re gone. Nothing bad happened.”
That was what it was on the surface—a success. So why did I feel so wrecked?
I’m probably just hungry. It’s time to go make dinner.
I stood and went through to my bedroom, changing out of the floaty silk party dress. I folded it up. I kept on thinking of Tyler and his reaction. He had looked at me like I was beautiful. I didn’t want to remember that. The last time anyone had looked at me with such sincere appreciation, such wonder, I had been eighteen and going to the prom. I put the dress aside.
In the kitchen, I found myself distracted too. I kept on recalling the boys—especially Tyler—and how amazing it had felt with them in my bed. I had enjoyed it immensely, I wasn’t going to lie. When it came to a fun evening, they had easily given me the most fun evening I’d had. But it wasn’t just that. I was fond of them.
Jake, with his sweet, handsome face. Tyler with those big brown eyes that looked at me as if I was a treasure. I cleared my throat painfully.
“Stop it, Ryanne. They’re not for you to worry about anymore. You just threw them out. They’re not your problem.”
I finished cooking—something simple in the wok that had been my present from Jess for my own birthday last year. I took it through to the table to eat it.
My phone was where I’d left it during lunch—out on the table. I quickly checked it. I was surprised to see a message I had missed. It wasn’t from a number I knew. I was about to ignore it when something in my heart made me pause and open it.
Ryanne, I’m sorry. Tyler.
I felt my heart ache. Strangely, the twisted knot that had been sadness suddenly untied inside of me.
“You silly man,” I said under my breath. Because, in its own special way, it was silly. Sweet, adorable and silly. He didn’t have to apologize. It should have been over. They did something for me, I did something for them. They overstepped the mark, I kicked them out. Finished.
Except for the way Tyler looked at me. And the care that he seemed to feel for me, somewhere deep in his heart.
“Oh, for pity’s sake,” I sighed. I could barely believe this had happened. I had brought two football players up to my apartment for a bit of fun, and now one of them had feelings for me.
“Silly,” I said harshly. “Just silly.”
But it wasn’t. As I slid my phone back into my handbag, I realized that it was far from silly, and it was far from one-sided. I was pleased to have heard from him. Pleased he was sorry. And also pleased that I had his number.
“Oh, for pity’s sake, Ryanne,” I said to myself. “What are you thinking? Are you thinking?”
I sighed. There wasn’t any debate here. I didn’t ever have to answer him. I could just simply pretend the whole incident had never happened and just get on with my life.
But something in me wouldn’t let me forget his face. I ate my supper and tried to blot out the image, but it wasn’t going anywhere. In fact, the more I tried to forget about him, the more Tyler kept on intruding on my thoughts.
After washing up, I walked past the table again. The phone was there—I must have taken it out and left it, undecided. I sighed.
I know you didn’t mean it. Ryanne.
I sent it.
I would probably regret that, I thought. But I might regret it worse if I didn’t send a reply. Life was too short for regrets, and it was, after all, the things we don’t do, that we regret. Mistakes can be fixed, for the most part. But words you never said couldn’t be fixed.
Sometimes it was worth making mistakes.
CHAPTER 10: TYLER
“Jake?” I said, staring at him. “What the hell did you do that for?”
We were standing on the corner of the street where he had conveniently parked the car. I scowled at him as we got in.
He just looked at me with those big brown eyes. I felt frustration well up in me. If he wanted to make things right between us, he had really gone about it in a weird way. Lying to me was not a good place to start.
I felt terrible about what we’d done to Ryanne. We had almost embarrassed her. We’d made her feel threatened too—couldn’t he see that? Two big muscled guys turning up uninvited? And we’d made her mad at us.
“Jake?” I said. I got in and sat down beside him, turned to face him. “What did you do?”
He shrugged. “Wait,” he said. “I think I sorted it out.”
I felt fury well up inside me. “You mean, you sorted out the fact that now she hates both of us equally?”
He laughed. “Well, it sorts out the rivalry issue, doesn’t it?”
“Jake, this is serious,” I said, trying not to lose my temper and to be reasonable. “I really think that was a crazy thing to do. If you want me to trust you, why the hell be like that?”
He sighed. “Tyler? Just wait and see?” he looked away from his study of what was in the street and back at me again.
“Wait and see what?” I said, still fuming. “You told me you’d warned her. You didn’t warn her. You told me a lie. And now you want me to trust you?”
He went stiff. He had turned away from me and was looking out of the window again.
“I did lie to you,” he said tightly. “And I’m sorry for that. But…well…can you see it as part of a plan? And can you just wait?” He did turn back to me then, his brown eyes with that appealing look that would make anyone’s heart soften toward him.
“You know I’m bad at that,” I said with a soft chuckle. “Waiting, I mean.”
“Well, yeah,” he said, leaning back and turning the key in the ignition, sending us backward off the sidewalk into the traffic. “I remember that one time when we said we were going to give Coach a surprise for his birthday…”
I laughed, remembering the incident simply too well. “And the cash collection from each of us was taking too long?” I nodded.
“Yeah! I thought you and Dax were going to come to blows about that.” Jake grinned.
“Well, the guy kept forgetting to bring his contribution. And we couldn’t book the damn thing without it,” I swore. “I think I did hit him,” I added.
“You did. And then Coach walked in just as we were all fighting to keep you apart.”
I pulled a face. “I know. I spoiled the surprise.” It was at once a funny and embarrassing memory. And one quite typical of me and my tendency to try and get everything done too fast.
“But we did get the gift on time,” he nodded.
We both laughed.
“Okay. I get the point. I should learn to wait more.”
“Well, maybe,” Jake grinned. “As it happened it isn’t the best example—because you did get the collection done on time.”
“Yeah, but I spoiled the surprise.”
“True,” Jake nodded and again I saw that funny twist of his lip again.
I sighed. Jake had his way. I should just wait.
We reached my home.
“Okay,” I said, sighing. “Thanks for the lift. I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” We had a meeting with the coach to train and discuss strategy. We would all be there at nine.”
“Great.” He nodded. “Thanks for not being mad at me. Appreciated.”
“I couldn’t be mad at you,” I said sincerely. He smiled.
“Thanks.”
I walked up the steps to my apartment.
As I sat down on the bed, my phone rang. I pulled it out.
I stared.
I know you didn’t mean it. Ryanne.
My heart did something funny—it felt like a torch had been lit there, blazing and shining and spreading its light through every part of me. I laughed. I grinned. My face hurt from smiling.
Had this been the thing I was meant to wait for?
I shook my head. I had no idea.
I didn’t even hesitate, but sent off a reply at once.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
I didn’t expect anything back from her. I went and found dinner and planned a quick jog round the local park while it cooked. But when I got back to my room, there was a new message.
I might attend the game, but I don’t know much about football. Need a tutorial.
I stared. A tutorial. Lessons. Was she asking me if I would teach her about football?
I frowned, wondering what would be the best way to reply to this. I wanted to tell her that I would be happy—honored—to teach her about football anytime she was free. Could I say that, though? Would she think it was too inappropriate? Too interested? Too fast?
I shook my head. I wasn’t a college boy anymore, and I didn’t have to care what my friends might think—how nonmacho or not my attachment might be. I was a mature guy and this was my life, and my heart. I shot off a reply.
I would really like to teach you. Anytime you’re free.
I waited for a reply. When two minutes—long minutes—stretched by and no one replied to the message, I decided maybe I’d done the wrong thing. I sighed and slipped the phone into my pocket and put together something for dinner. Then I headed out for my jog.
When I got back, there was a reply. I stared at it.
Tomorrow?
Hell, yes.
When I’d sent it, I sat down at the table, looking round my small, trim apartment with a sense of complete disbelief and complete wonder. Had that really happened? How had that happened?
I decided it wasn’t worth it to question. I was just going to be happy. And there was so much happiness inside me that it would have been impossible, at that moment, to be anything else.
Ryanne wasn’t mad at me. She was absolutely not mad at me, in fact. And I would be going to see her. Alone. Tomorrow.
I was so excited I thought I might pass out.
It was hard to go to sleep that night. Every time I closed my eyes I thought of her. Strangely, arousing though it had been—crazy, more like—it wasn’t just images of her gorgeous, nude body that came back into my head over and over.
It was images of her face too. Her beautiful face with those big eyes and that long black hair. The way her lips parted just a fraction when she was about to ask a question. The way she looked up from under her lashes, wearing that stunning white dress.
I had to be honest with myself. I wasn’t just desperate for her body—stunning and awesome though the experience with her had been so far—it was more than that.
I knew enough of relationships, had experienced enough up to now, to know there was a lot more that was serious about this. I was falling in love.
***
I sat on my bed, looking at the wall. My hair was in my one hand, fingers looped through the black strands. I glanced idly at where my phone lay on my dressing table, as it often did; the mirror obscured with the shining reflections of the desk lamp.
“Why the heck do I do things sometimes?” I sighed. What I had done was wild and crazy. It was also the only choice I would have made in this situation. I had done precisely what I wanted to do. I wanted Tyler.
I slid under the covers and lay back on my pillow. It was almost eleven and I usually liked to be asleep by now. I closed my eyes, feeling the silk smoothness of my nightgown shift around me as I moved to get comfortable. I couldn’t stop thinking about the previous night.
I felt myself get wet as I recalled how Jake had touched me. Yes, he was fairly good at it—something that had been a pleasant surprise, not something I had expected of a football player—but it wasn’t just that memory that came back to me. It was the way Tyler had touched me. The way he seemed to care about hurting me or not, his touch that little bit hesitant in the beginning, until he was sure I liked it.
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