“Tell me about my grandmother.”
Here it was, the one thing he didn’t want to talk about. How was he to tell this anxious mother he really didn’t know his own mother? “You’ll like her. She can be warm and witty. She never much cared for cooking or keeping house. My father indulged her and let her work in the cornmeal plant. She did a wonderful job but for some reason she was not up for change. She wanted to keep everything the way it was. It was almost as though she found herself caught up in a time warp. You see, things changed after your mother died, and then my other sister died. It was very hard on her. I’m sure she will dote on Pete. She’s frail now, and she lives in the French Quarter—in our old house—with her sisters. They watch soap operas and play cards. You and Pete will be like a breath of fresh air for all of them. There’s nothing for you to worry about on that score. The doctor’s coming,” Paul said, squeezing his niece’s hands.
“The boy’s fine. You can see him now if you like. He’s not quite awake, but he did ask about Ollie. I assumed he was a pet, so I said he was sleeping. You might want to reassure him on that score. Pete will hear, in time—a month, possibly a little longer—just like any other little boy.”
“Thank you so much,” Nancy said tearfully as she clung to Paul’s arm.
“If you follow me, I’ll take you to Pete’s room.”
Paul stared through the glass at the little boy lying in the hospital bed, a nurse at his side. “I’ll leave you two alone, Nancy. It’s time to walk Ollie. I thought I would take a Polaroid shot of the dog and bring it back later. I have some meetings scheduled for this afternoon, but I’ll stop on the way home from work. This evening I’ll bring Josie by. I know she wants to see Pete.”
Nancy stared at her son, only half-hearing her uncle’s words. She nodded. It was all there in her face: the love she felt for her son, the worry, the anxiety, and the relief as well. And it was just an operation. What would she look like if the operation hadn’t been successful or if something had gone awry and the boy had died on the operating table? She’d probably look the way his mother had looked the day June died. How well he remembered that awful blank, uncomprehending look and then the heart-wrenching scream that he still heard sometimes in his dreams.
“I need to say something besides thank you. Thank you just isn’t enough.”
“For me it is,” Paul said lightly. “Do you want me to bring you anything? Food, magazines, anything at all?”
“No, thank you. I’ll be fine. I can get some coffee later. Thank you for asking, though. I want to be the first person he sees when he wakes up.”
“Of course. I’ll see you around seven.”
In the car on the way home, Paul dialed Josie’s number. He wasn’t surprised when she picked it up on the first ring. “He’s okay, and he’s going to hear just like every other kid. I can’t tell you how relieved I am. Nancy was a wreck, but she’s okay now. I’m on my way home to walk Ollie and then I have to get to the office. How about if I pick you up around six-thirty and we come on over here. It would be a big help if you walked Ollie. You did? What would I do without you, Josie? I love you so much my ears ache with the feeling.” He listened to the delightful laugh on the other end of the line. “See you later.”
When Josie woke on Sunday morning she thought it was just another Sunday until she remembered how important this particular day was to Paul. She literally flew out of bed, raced downstairs with the dogs, and let them out. She left the screen door open so they could let themselves in as she made coffee and then raced back upstairs to the shower. Paul was to pick her up at ten-thirty with Nancy, Pete, and Ollie. As she shampooed her hair, every scenario under the sun flashed in front of her. Would it work? Wouldn’t it work? Would everyone make peace? Would things be all right? Would Marie Lobelia like the little boy or would he remind her too much of Paul? Would she welcome the young woman who looked so much like her own daughter or would she be aloof and withdrawn? Would Paul come away whole or would he have more burdens to carry away? She wished she knew and then again, she didn’t want to know.
Josie was on her third cup of coffee when she heard Paul blow the horn in front of the house. They’d agreed to meet out front because of Zip and his reaction to the speckled dog. Kitty was watching them in the office; she’d agreed to stay with them until Josie returned home.
“Tell Miss Josie where you’re going, Pete,” Paul said, the moment Josie buckled up.
“Him’s taking us to great-grandmère’s house.”
Josie laughed.
“He’s so excited. So am I,” Nancy bubbled. “Ollie is just shaking because he doesn’t know what’s going on.”
“It’s new to him. Wait till he sees that courtyard with the big tree. He can play out there all day with Pete. He’s going to love it,” Josie said.
“I called early this morning, but I guess everyone was at church. I didn’t leave a message. It’s okay. I have a key to the gate.” Josie shivered at Paul’s cool tone. She crossed her fingers, hoping everything would work out. She wondered what she would be feeling and how she would react if she were in Nancy’s place. Plain and simple, she would be a basket case. How could anyone not love the adorable, dark- eyed little boy and his loving mother?
Ten minutes later, Paul parked his car at the curb. “Here we are, Pete. This is great-grandmère’s house. Are you ready? Want to ride on my shoulders? I thought so. Climb on, sport. Josie, here’s the key. Ring the bell and open the gate at the same time. I’m not playing any games here today.”
Josie sucked in her breath but did as instructed. She shivered when she heard Paul shout, “Mère, it’s Paul! I brought someone to see you.” He stood still in the middle of the courtyard and waited. They all waited. Two minutes went by, then three, then four. He was about to shout a second time when the door to the kitchen opened.
Marie’s voice was cool and aloof-sounding when she said, “It’s customary to call ahead when bringing unexpected guests.”
“Those are the old ways. Those ways don’t apply anymore. I’d like to introduce you to your granddaughter Nancy and her son Pete. This four-legged creature is named Ollie. They all go together. That means they’re a family. We can go out and come in again if you like.”
Marie backed up a step and then another as she stared first at her son and then at her granddaughter and finally down to the little dark-haired boy. The dog barked a greeting, and she finally smiled. Her arms were trembling and shaking but she reached out, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Josie blinked when she saw that the outstretched arms were for Paul, not Nancy and the little boy. She watched Paul’s shoulders stiffen and then relax, a broad smile spreading across his face.
“You did this for me? One moment, chère,” she said to Nancy. “This must come first. It has festered way too long. You have forgiven me?”
“I forgave you a long time ago, Mère. I just didn’t know it until a few weeks ago.”
Marie stared deeply into her son’s eyes. Whatever she saw there reassured her. “We will speak of this at length later, my son. For now I want to feast my eyes on this beautiful young woman and her son.”
Woof.
“And you, too.” Marie smiled as she wrapped her arms around the shaking shoulders of her granddaughter.
Paul hoisted Pete to his shoulders. “This is your great-grandmother, Pete. Say hello.”
“Hello, Great-Grandmère,” the little boy said shyly.
“Come, come, we must go inside and talk. The aunts will want to meet you. They have much to talk about. I thought this day would never come. There are no words to tell you how happy I am this day. Chère, tell me, did you have something to do with all of this?” she asked Josie.
“Mère, Josie is my fiancée. I didn’t know she knew you, and she didn’t know I was your son. We’re getting married the end of July.”
“How wonderful! Such happiness I am having this day. I won’t be able to sleep for weeks. I want to say something, but I don’t k
now the words. My heart is so full. Come, come, let us go inside.”
“I’ll stay out here in the garden with Pete and Ollie. We’ll be in in a little while,” Paul said.
“You must tell the little one of your antics out here when you were his age. Your toys are in the shed behind the fountain. Bring them out for the boy.”
“My toys! What toys?” Paul asked.
“Your wagon, your bicycle, your roller skates, your archery set. All your things.”
“You saved them!” Paul said dumbfounded.
“But of course. Mothers do things like that. I have a lock of your hair in my locket. From your first hair trimming. You wailed like a banshee. Later we will compare it to little Pete’s hair. I think it is the same color and texture. He looks like a Brouillette.”
Josie burst out laughing at the stunned look on Paul’s face.
“Paul. I’m going to go home now. This day is for you and your family. I want you to enjoy every single minute of it. I don’t quite belong here yet. Please say you understand.”
Paul smiled. “I understand, and you’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Her’s nice,” Pete said. “Are you going to kiss her?”
Paul dropped to his haunches. “Do you think I should?” he asked solemnly.
“Mommie said you give kisses when you love some one. My mommie kisses me all the time. She loves me.”
“That’s because you’re easy to love, Pete. I think I’ll do what you suggested.” In an exaggerated dip and swirl, Paul kissed Josie until her teeth rattled.
“Howzat?” he asked Pete. The little boy nodded happily.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Josie said, waving good-bye. “Paul . . .”
“Yes.”
“Be open. Listen. You won’t be sorry. Will you trust me on this?”
“Of course. I’ll call you tonight.”
“Only if you have time. I’m not going anywhere, and besides, I’m the type that will wait forever.”
“That’s good to know.”
“You don’t want to put it to the test, though.” Josie laughed.
“You’re right. I don’t.”
It was so quiet in the old house, which smelled of rich spices. Paul felt unnerved. It was time to talk to his mother, time to air all the hurts, time to make amends. How was he to do that in this quiet house? Should he whisper? Should he shout and carry on like a wild man? Or, should he just listen to his heart? In the end, the matter was taken out of his hands when his mother reached for his hand and drew him into the kitchen. She poured dark coffee laced with chicory just the way he liked it. He knew it would be rich, strong, and fragrant. For sure he wouldn’t sleep for a week.
Marie leaned across the table. ‘’I think we both have things we want to say. Perhaps this is the time, and perhaps it isn’t. This estrangement all these years is my fault. Totally mine. I take full blame, full responsibility. An apology isn’t good enough. Every day of my life I regretted my neglect of you. I couldn’t help myself; therefore, I couldn’t help you. It is that simple. When I finally got my wits together and joined the world, it was too late. You didn’t want any part of me. It was hard for me to accept, but I did understand. For a while I tried to make your life miserable in retribution. It was the only way I could have contact with you. I don’t care about the cornmeal plant. I never did, not really. It was something to keep me busy and something to fuss at you about. I just went through the motions. I was always a businesswoman, and I know about profit and loss. I was punishing you and myself for something I had no control over, or at least that’s how I explained it to myself.
“I pray you and Josie never go through what I went through. There are no words to describe what it’s like to lose a child. And then to lose a second child. It was so unthinkable, so tragic, I literally lost my mind. And I lost you in the bargain.
“What you did today was give me back my life. I can never thank you enough. Seeing Nancy and Pete took me back to those long-ago years. She looks exactly like June. She’s warm and loving, and the little one is just like you were. God has blessed us both, Paul. They will be staying here with us. Pete is in your old room. Nancy is in her mother’s room. Tomorrow we will all wake up and have breakfast together. Before you can ask, the dog is sleeping on Pete’s bed. Such love, such devotion. One last thing. I never stopped loving you, son. That love was in my heart. I just ignored it, believing someday when I was ready, I could open it up like a book and go on and you would come running to me with open arms. That goes to show what a stupid old lady I was. Now that I’m even older, I’m more stupid because I am still hoping you can forgive me and love me as I love you.”
Paul’s throat closed tight. He fought for words, just the right words. Listen, Josie had said.
“It’s all in the past. I forgave you a long time ago, mère. We can go forward now. Nancy and Pete will be part of our lives. One day, soon, I hope, Josie and I will have children. You aren’t angry then that André is taking over the business?”
“Not in the least. He’s the ideal man for the job. I’m happy you decided to follow your heart and do what you’ve always wanted to do. You have my blessing. Also, there is no need for you to purchase the plant. That is what you planned on doing, isn’t it? That is so like you, Paul. Trust me, it isn’t necessary. I provided well for all the employees years ago when I sensed this was coming. They will rest in the sun now, as I plan on doing. I want to show you something.”
Paul watched as his mother reached under the starched collar of her high-necked dress to remove a heavy gold locket. She snapped it open. “See, this is your picture, and this is a lock of your hair. I have worn this from the day you were born. Now,” she said, reaching into her pocket to withdraw a tissue. She spread it open on the table. “It is the little one’s hair. I took a snippet when he fell asleep. I defy you to tell the difference. He is you all over again. Maybe, with your help, God’s help, I can do it right this time.”
Paul blinked. He really needed to get his eyes checked. Of late, they burned a lot. “We can do it, mère.”
“We are a family again?”
“Yes, we are a family again. God, I feel good,” Paul said thumping the table.
Marie thumped the table herself. “Not as good as I feel, son.”
“Come, mère, I’ll walk you to your room.”
“I used to walk you to your room. Imagine that.”
Paul smiled. “Yes, imagine that.”
Josie sat at her little dressing table, staring at her reflection. Her sister watched her from the bed. “Today’s the day, Kitty! Do you think Mom knows we’re getting married?”
“I hope so.” Kitty’s voice was so wistful-sounding, Josie rushed over to her and put her arms around her shoulders.
“Maybe we should cry now and get it out of our systems. Our mascara will run later on.”
“It’s not right, Josie. There’s supposed to be a mother of the bride. In our case, mother of the brides. Plural. We don’t have anyone on our side. Our side of the church is going to be totally empty. The first three pews are always reserved for family. Our friends will be there, but it’s not the same. It isn’t fair.”
“I know, Kitty, but there’s nothing we can do about it. Mom would tell us to pull up our socks and go on. I wrote her a letter last night. I stuffed it in with all the others.”
“I did, too. It’s in my sock drawer. Mom always said I had the messiest drawers. She said they were worse than yours. We’re going to be happy, aren’t we, Josie?”
“Yes, we are. We’ll visit often, and we’ll call every day. I’ll be your kids’ godmother and you’ll be my kids’ godmother. Harry and Paul get along wonderfully even though they only met recently. We’re a family. We’re smaller than Paul’s or Harry’s, but we’re still a family. I bought you a wedding present. It’s kind of special—you know, a sister-to-sister kind of present. It’s for Harry, too, but mostly for you. Do you want me to get it? It’s in the spare room.”
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Kitty dabbed at her eyes and nodded. Josie was back within minutes, holding a small basket. A tiny, silky head peered over the top. She held the basket out to her sister. “Her name is Soho. She’s a Goldenray Yorkie. I bought her from Cher Hildebrand in Dayton, Ohio. I picked her up at the airport last night while you were out with Harry’s parents. Tell me I didn’t make a mistake. Please, Kitty, tell me you love that little dog. I thought you wouldn’t miss me so much if you had a dog to remind you of me.”
“God, Josie, what’s not to love? Would you look at this face. She’s beautiful. She’s gorgeous. I love her already. Harry is going to flip when he sees her. He just loves dogs. Thank you, Josie. I feel better now. I really do.”
“Good, that’s all that matters. You never did tell me what Harry gave you as a wedding present. Show me!”
“Swear you won’t laugh.”
“I swear,” Josie said. “Where is it?”
“In my room on the bed. Listen, his heart was in the right place, so remember that.”
“It’s a . . .”
“Chef’s coat with five stars and a high top hat.”
“It’s wonderful. Jewelry is such a drag,” Josie said.
“What did Paul give you?”
“He said he left it on the back porch, so I guess it isn’t jewelry either. I forgot to open it. Wait, I’ll go get it. It’s a big box, too. I have a feeling it’s going to be as romantic as your coat and hat.”
Listen To Your Heart Page 16