Twenty-Nine
Stella
Lucy’s showing is today.
I’ve never been to one before and wasn’t sure what to expect when I got dressed this morning. I want to make a good impression on Hudson’s family in case they ever find out about us.
We’re at the funeral home, and I’m standing next to Hudson while receiving every odd look known to man. Nosy stares. Dirty Looks. Friendly smiles.
I introduce myself as Dallas’s friend, and a few parents have scolded their children for asking for my autograph. I don’t mind it. The only times I have is when they do it to sell it online and make a profit.
Dallas and Maven have sat next to Lucy’s casket all day, and my heart breaks for them. You can see the love he had for his wife everywhere on him.
“Heads up,” Hudson says. “My ex just arrived.”
He tilts his head toward a blonde walking in with a cute guy.
“The cheating ex?” I ask.
It’s a stupid question since he’s only had one ex, but her showing up takes me by surprise.
“Yep,” he clips out.
“And the best friend?”
“That would be him.”
I wish jealousy wasn’t creeping through me like a bad drug as I study her. She’s pretty, in shape, and I’m sure doesn’t have an unhealthy relationship with carbs like I do. Cameron has the All-American girl look complete with the blonde hair, large bust, and tan, toned legs.
I should walk over and thank her, maybe slip her a hundred, for letting Hudson go. If she didn’t cheat on him, he wouldn’t be with me. She would be the one receiving the attention I’m growing addicted to. I force myself to move my focus from her to the dickhead friend. Dude is attractive with blond hair, decent size muscles, and a cute smile, but he’s no Hudson.
“FYI, you’re so much hotter than him,” I whisper, looping my arm through Hudson’s. “Talk about a downgrade.”
He peeks down at our connection. “Appreciate it, Hollywood.”
We’ve never touched like this in public. He waited until everyone was asleep before getting in bed with me last night.
I wait to see if he pulls away and smile when he doesn’t. Hudson has no problem showing ownership with me. It’s me that’s scared … me stopping it because of my Eli situation.
“You don’t think she’s going to come over here, do you?” I ask.
“Doubt it. The last time her and Grady came around me, my hand ended up around his neck.”
“Yeah, let’s hope they stick to their side,” I mutter.
I’m washing my hands when I hear the bathroom door slam shut after Hudson’s ex walks in.
“Stella, right?” she asks.
She smiles and waves. It’s not a genuine smile, more along the lines of one that says she wants to kill me and hide me in these cornfields kind of smile.
It won’t make a good impression on Hudson’s family and the good people of Blue Beech if I have a girl fight in the bathroom at a funeral.
I grab a paper towel and dry my hands. “It is.”
“Everyone keeps saying how nice it was for you to come all this way for Dallas. I mean you were only his employer. Are you this nice to everyone who works for you?” She blows out a breath. “Must be exhausting.”
Really? This is the route she’s going?
“Dallas was my bodyguard for years and I got to know him and his family, so yes, I care about the people who work for me.”
She straightens up her stance, and her glossy lips slip into a hard line. “How do you and Hudson know each other?”
Chick is trying to trap me.
Like me, she’s wearing a dress and heels, so if she does try to fight me, I might have a chance. I’ve managed to master living in heels. I can squat in these bad boys, run from men with cameras, and I’ve even boxed in them a few times for a commercial. I’ll be able to hold my own on this one.
Hopefully.
“Hudson is working for me now,” I answer, giving her a satisfied smile. “He took Dallas’s job.”
Yep, he’s with me every night.
“How kind of him.” She lets out a bitter laugh and moves away from the door. “You want to know something hilarious? Hudson used to give Dallas so much shit for working for you and constantly told him to quit. I recall him calling you a spoiled diva once, but he’s a good brother, so I’m sure he’ll do the job until he comes home. You do know he will always come home, right?”
Her words make me lightheaded, and I’m thankful she’s no longer blocking the door.
Who starts shit at a funeral?
I shrug. “I guess he changed his mind. He seems to be pretty good at it. Maybe it’s his calling.”
She scowls. “Doubt it.”
I give her a forced smile, turn around, and leave the room.
“Can I show you around town?” Hudson asks when we walk out of the funeral home. His hand goes to my back as he guides me down the sidewalk. “We can grab a cupcake from Magnolia’s Bakery or a sandwich at the diner?”
I look around. “Are you sure that’s a good idea given all the curious eyes?”
“They’ll think I’m being a gentleman and keeping you company.”
“What about Dallas?”
“Him and Maven are meeting with the pastor. Dallas unsure of the best approach to explain everything to Maven. She knows her mom is gone, but he wants to make sure she knows Lucy is in heaven.”
“Poor thing. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through right now.”
“Maven is strong like her mother.”
There’s a pause of silence.
It’s broken when he claps his hands. “So … how about that cupcake?”
I smile. “Only if you help me work off the calories later.”
“You fucking know it.”
People stop us to hug Hudson and welcome him home when we walk down a sidewalk lined with beautiful flowers. They express their sympathy for his loss and then introduce themselves to me. They’re all friendly. Blue Beech is nothing like LA.
Hudson points out all the landmarks and the spots where him and his friends caused the most trouble. He tells me about his bright idea to toilet paper the gazebo for their senior prank that resulted in him being busted. His punishment was giving manicures at the local nursing home. We end our touring by stopping at a shop with a bright yellow door.
A bell rings when we walk in, and the small space is crowded with tables. It smells like heaven and calories. You walk in and know you’ll be leaving the place ten pounds heavier.
“Holy shit,” I say as we make our way toward the glass counter filled with cupcakes galore. “I want one of everything.”
Hudson laughs. “I can make that happen.”
A middle-age woman wearing a bright pink floral apron with streaks of icing on it grins from behind the counter. “I knew you couldn’t come home and resist one of my red velvet cupcakes. Now honey, I know you’ve been hearing condolences all day, so I’m going to let my sweets do the talking for me.” She turns around and grabs a large box of cupcakes. “I planned on dropping these off at your brother’s after I close but might as well give them to you while you’re here. Give these to Dallas and that angel of his. I don’t mind if you snag a few for yourself.”
Hudson takes the box from her with a smile. “Will do, Maggie. Appreciate it. You know how much Maven loves your shop.”
Maggie looks over at me. “And what can I get you, sweetie?”
There are so many options.
I wasn’t hungry ten minutes ago, but my stomach suddenly growls.
“What do you suggest?”
She points to Hudson. “The Barnes men seem to have a weakness for my red velvet, but I have a new strawberry cupcake that’s been quite the hit lately.”
“Strawberry it is then.”
Hudson pays for our cupcakes, and we sit at a table next to the window.
“Why is everyone so nice around here?” I whisper.
He
chuckles, looking proud. “It’s Blue Beech. We have each other’s backs, know what kind of cupcakes our friends like when they’re having a bad day, and are always up for giving a helping hand.”
“It’s so different than what I’m used to.”
“You grew up in LA, right?”
I nod. “My mom knew she wanted me to be famous before I left her womb, and where else but California can that be accomplished?”
“California is all you know. Blue Beech is all I know. You become familiar and comfortable with your surroundings.”
“I wish I grew up in place like this.”
He winks. “We accept newcomers of all ages if you ever want to make a life change. It’s a good place to raise a family.”
His response is my cue to dig into my cupcake. Maggie was right. The strawberry is to die for.
“It’s where you want to raise your family, isn’t it?” I ask, licking frosting from my thumb.
“Wouldn’t want to anywhere else. You want to raise yours in LA?”
“I never really thought about having kids.”
“You don’t want to be a mother?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure I’d know how to be one.” I lower my voice. “I’m scared I’ll be a terrible one.”
He looks shocked at my admission. “Why would you think that?”
“I never had a good example.”
“So? Trust me, when that day comes, you’ll have that maternal instinct. I know it. You will be one incredible mom, Stella.”
“Let’s hope so.”
I realized my mother wanted me only as an opportunity years ago. I saw the way Knox’s mom used him for money. The same thing happened to countless friends of mine in the business. Our parents don’t care. Some, like my mom, saw us as meal tickets, and others threw money at their kids as an excuse to get out of parenting.
He reaches over and brushes his thumb over my lip, wiping away frosting. “Goddamn, I wish I could’ve used my tongue to clean that off instead.”
Thirty
Hudson
Dallas leans back in his chair and rests his arms behind his neck. “When were you going to tell me you’re sleeping with Stella?”
We’re back at his place, and our family left an hour ago. Maven is spending the night with my parents. Stella is in the shower. And we’re in the kitchen reminiscing about the good times we had with Lucy over beers.
I take a long drink before answering, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t bullshit me. I’m a grieving man. I deserve the truth. You took her around town—”
“That means I’m fucking her?” I interrupt.
“No, but the way you look at each other does. For fuck’s sake, you brought her home with you, she has you doing yoga, and who knows what else. You’re fucking her.”
I rub my temples. “You have too much shit going on right now to worry about my sex life. Hell, I’m more worried about you being okay than my sex life. My concern right now is you, how you’re doing, and what I can do to help you through this. We can talk about who I’m sticking my dick into at another time.”
Preferably never.
Kissing, or fucking, and telling isn’t my thing. I lost my virginity before all my friends. Hell, before Dallas, but no one knew because I don’t have a big-ass mouth. I would listen to the guys in the locker room bragging about getting to third base when I was hitting home runs. I’ve never felt the need to brag and never wanted to disrespect Cameron.
“Appreciate it, brother, but I feel like all I’ve done today is talk about my feelings and thank people for their condolences. I don’t want fucking condolences. I don’t want pity. I don’t want fucking cupcakes. I just want my wife back.” He looks up at the ceiling, shaking his head, and tries to hide the tears I know are impending. “She was perfect. The best wife a man could ask for. An amazing mother, beautiful, caring. Why? Why Hudson? Why did God have to take her away from me? Why? I needed her! I loved her!”
I rub my eyes to stop my tears. I wish I was better with words, but I’ll give it a shot. “I know you loved Lucy, and she loved you. You had a love stronger than anything I’ve ever seen. She had love before she passed. Her heart was full because you gave her a great life. She was happy and knew you’d be a great dad to Maven.” My heart slams against my chest. “I’m glad we’re talking about this. Everyone has been afraid of you holding it in.”
He scoffs. “Who are you now? Counselor Hudson?”
“You can’t always be the strong one.” I pull myself up from my chair and grab us another round of beers before handing him one. “More to take the edge of.”
He draws in a deep breath and uses the back of his hand to wipe his eyes. “Thanks, man.” He takes a drink and sighs. “You and Stella, huh?”
I rub my hands down my pants. “You pissed about it?”
“No, more along the lines of surprised.”
I raise a brow. “Surprised she would mess around with someone like me?”
“Fuck no. I’m surprised you opened up your mind to see her for who she really is.” He tips his beer toward me. “I told you it was a good idea to go there. You owe me.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do a load of your laundry or some shit.”
“You still quitting when they find someone else to take the job?”
I run a hand through my hair. Stella and I haven’t had this conversation yet, but I know I don’t want to stay in California. “That’s my plan.”
“What are you doing then?” His voice turns harsh. “You’re just going to leave her? Why are you leading her on if you’re not staying?”
“We’re fucking, Dallas. Having fun. Not getting married. She’s not going to give up her life. I’m not giving up mine.”
His eyes harden. “You’ve had that talk then? You’ve explained that under no circumstances are you staying there?”
“Kind of.”
I’ve told her I’d never leave Blue Beech, isn’t that enough?
“Fucking liar.”
I go down to the basement in search of Stella when Dallas goes to bed.
I find her standing in front of the bathroom vanity looking in the mirror with her back to me. She’s running her hands through her wet hair. I sneak up behind her, circle my arms around her hips, and slowly dust kisses along her neck. She tilts her head to the side, and I take that as an invitation for more.
I’m wrong.
My hands fall to my sides when she pulls away and leaves the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, following her into the bedroom.
She starts looking through her suitcase. “Nothing.” She picks up a shirt then drops it.
“Don’t bullshit me, Stella. If I did something to piss you off, tell me, so I can fix it.”
I don’t do the whole beating around the bush shit, and I think Stella had a habit of doing that in her last relationship. I want us to be upfront, open, and personal.
I grab her hand and turn her around so she’s facing me, and her attention goes to the floor.
“This isn’t the right place to have this conversation, Hudson.”
I get that. She wants to be respectful and not argue in Dallas’s home. I respect her for respecting him.
I tug on her hand and start walking toward the stairs. “Come on, then.”
“What?”
“We’re going for a drive.”
“Now?”
I nod. “My truck is here. I’ll even buy you an ice cream cone if we make it to the shop in time.”
A tiny smile breaks through her lips. “Jesus, you and your sweets. If I stay here any longer, my ass will get even bigger.”
“I like that.”
I kill the engine to my truck when we make it to our destination—Blue Beech Edge River. It’s my favorite spot in town to come and think. It’s also the choice spot for horny teenagers who have nowhere else to go to get laid.
I flip on the overhead light and look at her. “Tell me what I did.”<
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She sighs, waving her hand through the air, and a light blush passes over her cheeks. This isn’t a conversation she’s ready to have. “You know what? It’s not even that important. Let’s get that ice cream, and we’ll talk about it another time.”
She’s shutting down on me.
“It is fucking important if you’re upset about it. Tell me if I did something wrong, so I won’t do it again.”
“I overheard your conversation with Dallas,” she whispers.
I pause and go through what we talked about in the kitchen, but I’m drawing a blank on what could’ve offended her. “And you’re pissed at me why?”
Her gaze drops down to her lap before she starts to answer, but I interrupt her.
“We’re not talking about shit until you look at me. Don’t hide. Tell me how to fix this. If I did something stupid, don’t let me get away with it.”
She glances up at me, and my stomach twists when I see the sadness in her eyes.
“You told him we’re pretty much fuck buddies and you’re bailing as soon as your time is up.” She shakes her head, and her voice breaks. “What are we doing, Hudson? Am I only a good time to you? Some rebound to mend your broken heart?”
Fuck.
This is all my fault.
I slap the steering wheel. “No, Stella. You aren’t a rebound or a fling that doesn’t mean anything to me. Am I confused? Hell yes. You know I don’t like to share, and if you say the word, I’ll make you mine right now. If you say you’re mine, we’ll figure out a plan to make it work with us. Until then, I’m sorry, but I can’t plan a future with a woman who won’t even claim me. That’s why I fought this in the beginning because I was scared of this happening.”
“So am I!” she screams. “I never expected to fall for you like this. I’m scared your feelings aren’t as strong as mine and terrified of dropping my career and risking everything only for you to walk away from me. You recently got out of a long-term relationship that lasted over a decade. How can I be certain I’m not a rebound … a fuck buddy …”
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