The bartender hands me a whiskey neat, and I take a drink before telling her how ridiculous she sounds.
“How happy we were together?” My voice rises. “You weren’t happy, Cameron. You were so damn unhappy that you ran into another man’s arms!”
Tears fall down her cheeks. “Please believe it was a mistake. You have to believe me.”
“A mistake? So what? You used him until I was ready to give you the life you wanted? Who cares about mine … or even Grady’s feelings … just as long as you’re getting what you want?”
“It’s not like that,” she stutters out.
“Yes, it is. You had me, Cameron. You had every single damn piece of me, and you threw it away because you’re selfish. Your selfishness cost me my best friend and my trust in love. I will never forgive you for that. I’m sorry, but I can’t open myself up to you again. I’ve realized you’re nothing I thought you were. You’re not someone I’d ever want to marry.”
“But some spoiled television brat is?” she fires back with a sneer. “You know that’s not the life you want, and you sure as hell know she’s not going to move to Blue Beech and settle down here. Are you going to leave your entire family and move into her mansion while she’s making out with other men on TV?” She lets out a childish laugh. “And let’s not forget, she cheated on her boyfriend with you. What makes her better than me?”
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” I grind out.
“It’s all over the internet. You were screwing her behind her little boyfriend’s back.” She crosses her arms. “What’s the difference between her being a cheater and me being one? We did the same thing. Is it different because you weren’t the one who got cheated on?”
My stool goes flying backward when I jump up from it. “She was never with him! It was a publicity stunt for their new movie together. They never touched each other behind closed doors. They never shared a bed! Nothing! She did all of that with me!” I slam my fist down on the bar. “Me!”
Her tears fall faster as she looks up at me in desperation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I thought …”
“Yeah, you spoke before you fucking thought. For someone who’s in love with me, you sure don’t seem to know me if you’d think I’d do something like that.”
“Please,” she begs. “Let’s go talk somewhere private about this.”
I run my hands over my face. “I can’t. Sorry. I wish you the best, Cameron, and I hope you find whatever happiness you’ve been searching for.”
Thirty-Five
Stella
“Oh fuck,” Willow says, staring at her phone like she got a notification we’re about to be murdered. “Fuckity fuck!”
Her and I have spent the week sulking and holding daily ‘we got our asses dumped’ meetings. I won’t let her go back to her apartment because I hate being alone.
We go shopping. We do yoga. We try everything to keep our minds off the men we loved and lost.
Some days it works. Some days it doesn’t.
The nights are what tears me apart. Thoughts and memories of Hudson haunt me, keeping me up until the morning, and tell me I’m an idiot for not trying to get in touch with him. I haven’t even washed my sheets because they smell like him. It’s gross, I’m well aware.
I haven’t called because I’m scared he’ll reject me.
He’s the one who asked me to leave.
The one who broke things off.
Who didn’t want to wait until I could figure out a way to get out of my contract.
But I can’t help but feel most of the blame. I was selfish to pursue him when I knew my situation.
“What are you freaking out about over there?” I ask, shoving another bite of ice cream in my mouth while walking on the treadmill.
It’s three in the morning, and this is what we’re doing.
We’re officially losers.
She steps off the bicycle to hold her phone my way and hits the play button. “You’re going to want to see this.”
A video starts. I trip on my feet, my delicious ice cream falling to the floor, and stare at the screen unblinking when I see Hudson. He’s sitting in what looks like a bar arguing with a woman. A woman who looks like Cameron.
“She was never with him!” he screams. “It was a publicity stunt for their new movie together. They never touched each other behind closed doors. They never shared a bed! Nothing! She did all of that with me!”
The image is blurry, but there’s no doubt it’s him. I’ll never forget his husky voice. My hand flies to my mouth, and I’m sure that rocky road is about to come up. I jump off the treadmill before I fall and try to control my breathing.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
Hudson’s word vomit just ruined my career in thirty seconds.
“I’m just going to throw this out there,” Willow says with a smile. “But I’m pretty sure he’s talking about you.”
“You think?” I snap.
“I’m also pretty sure the world knows who he’s talking about given that it’s all over the internet right now.” She pulls the phone away, so I can’t watch it again. “You’re even a trending hash tag.”
Fuck me.
I pull my phone from my pocket and open Twitter.
“Seriously?” I yell.
It’s #StellaDoesntShareBeds.
“Who comes up with this shit?” I ask.
“It’s the internet. A guy banging a McChicken went viral. Your hash tag is lame compared to other ones.”
“People have way too much time on their hands.”
“Who’s the chick in the video?”
“The ex.” I hate that she was there with him. That video is going to haunt me for the rest of my life, and I’m going to think about her every time I have to hear about it.
Willow scrunches up her nose. “I wish she were uglier.”
“You and me both.”
Why was he hanging out in a bar with her?
I know we broke up, and I know I’m still fake dating Eli, but it still hurts.
“He did something you didn’t have the balls to do for weeks. Make a public statement and stand up for your relationship.”
“He was drunk. If he were sober, it would’ve never happened.”
I slump down on the floor, and she sits down across from me.
“What do I do?” I ask.
My phone starts ringing before I get an answer.
I hold it up to show her the call. “And it gets worse. Tillie is already calling to rip my head off.”
“That troll always seems to know everything as soon as it happens. I think she has a tap on our phones. She’s like the NSA. Fucking psychopath.”
“What do I do?” I repeat.
She perks up and rests her hands in her lap. “First things first. You need to decide if you love the dude or not.”
I go silent. I can’t seem to form the words to answer her question. They’re stuck in my throat as I try to come down from my freak out. My head is pounding so hard it’s making me lightheaded.
Am I pissed at Hudson for doing that?
Or more relieved?
I’m not sure.
Willow snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to my best friend. Are you in love with the dude or only missing his sex organ?”
“Do you think I’d be freaking out this much if I wasn’t?”
She scoots in closer to give me a hug.
“I’m scared, Willow.”
Her face softens when she pulls away. “Scared to love him?”
I nod.
“Sweetie, don’t be afraid to love someone. Love is one of the biggest risks we take because we don’t know if it’s going to thrive or burn to the ground and take us along with it. But the risk is worth the sting. I promise you that.”
I start to fan my face with my hand to fight off the tears. “I know.”
She rubs her hands together. “So …”
“I don’t want to keep waking up without hi
m.”
Thirty-Six
Hudson
I walk into my parents’ house with a blasting headache and a hangover from hell. My bright idea of washing my feelings for Stella away with whiskey didn’t work out in my favor.
That old pal made me a fucking idiot for the entire world to see. I never wanted to be in the spotlight, never wanted people to know my business, and now I have my phone and email flooded with people offering me money for the inside scoop on Stella’s life.
Fucking scavengers.
Dallas sent me the link to the video this morning, and I had to refrain from throwing my phone across the room. My temples throb. I want to put the blame on Stella for this mess. It would’ve never happened if we didn’t start fucking around, but I know the truth. It’s unfair for me to blame her for my dumbass getting drunk and opening my big mouth.
“Good morning, idiot,” Lauren says when I walk into the kitchen. She narrows her eyes at me in disapproval and slides her plate of half-eaten eggs to the middle of the table. “I saw your obliterated ass on TMZ. Way to keep our family name classy. We were like the Kennedys of Blue Beech, but your behavior has moved us to the lines of the Kardashians. People want to know all of our business, but the respect is gone.”
“Don’t start your shit,” I grumble, making myself a cup of coffee.
I snuck out of Dallas’s to avoid his interrogation. Plus, Maven started off her morning living it up with her karaoke machine. Kid’s Bop and hangovers don’t go well together. And I need to talk to my mom before the mother gang here bombards her on how terrible her son is.
“Oh, I’m just getting started. If you didn’t want to hear my mouth, maybe you should’ve used your pint-sized brain before getting wasted off your ass and bringing attention to our family like this. I swear on everything, if you give mom a heart attack, I will cut you.”
“Chill out. Mom isn’t going to have a heart attack. You’re overreacting.”
She snorts.
“This shit will blow over when the next scandal of a cheating celebrity breaks out. Trust me, I might be popular here, but I’m irrelevant in Hollywood.”
“Irrelevant? Is that why we’ve had several phone calls from reporters? Mom took the phone off the hook and is in the other room reading the Bible so she doesn’t have another child breaking people’s vows.”
“They aren’t married. Hell, they aren’t even dating.”
“Let’s add liar to your home wrecker title.”
I sit down. “Lauren, I was telling the truth in that video. They were never dating.”
“They really were faking a relationship?”
I nod.
“Why the hell would anyone do that?”
“For their career. Publicity. Hype.”
She scrunches her face up in disgust. “Sounds like a hooker move to me.”
I sigh, remembering the similar conversation I had with Stella about her arrangement.
“You have bad luck in relationships,” she goes on. “You might want to change your type or switch teams.”
“Says the girl who’s also single.”
“Hey! My current relationship status is trying to get out of student loan debt and make enough money to survive.”
I get up to grab some ibuprofen from the cabinet and fill up a glass of water. “Don’t you have a home?”
“Yes, but mom always makes me breakfast.”
“What are you twelve?” I ask, swallowing down the pills.
“Says the guy crashing in his brother’s basement.”
I rub the back of my neck trying to remove some of the tension. Lauren’s ass sure as hell isn’t helping in the hangover healing. She might be worse than Kid’s Bop.
“I have a great idea. How about you eat in silence?” I tell her.
“You’ve already turned into quite the bossy diva for your short time in Hollywood,” she laughs. “You didn’t choose the starlet life. The starlet life choose you.”
“Enough!” I yell, slamming my glass down, my anger getting the best of me. “Just let it go.”
She holds her hands up. “Shit … sorry. I was only trying to make light of the situation.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I collapse in the chair next to her again. “I feel like I’m going nuts, and I don’t know what to do. I wish I would’ve never taken that goddamn job.”
“Are you in love with her?”
“With Stella?”
She nods.
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
I stay silent.
“I swear I won’t give you shit for it.”
I snort.
“I want you to find love, especially after what Cameron did to you. If you think this chick is it for you, then I’m all for you fighting for her. But if it’s not, if it was only about sex, walk away. Our family can’t go through any more stress right now. Only proceed further if your feelings are real.”
I scrub my hand over my face and groan. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Why doesn’t it matter if you’re in love with her?”
“Our lives are complete opposites. All of that being in magazines and people shoving cameras in your face isn’t what I want in my life. I want to stay in Blue Beech. She doesn’t.”
“Have you even asked her if she does, or are you just assuming?”
“It’s over. She made her choice. Now, drop it.”
“Hudson …”
I can’t handle this conversation right now. I’m growing more nauseated with every second.
“Drop it,” I say, my voice stern. “If I don’t hear the name Stella again for the rest of my life, I’ll be a happy man. I worked for her temporarily. We screwed a few times. It was nothing serious. We were both bored and looking for a good time.”
“Keep trying to convince yourself that, but I know you. You don’t do casual sex. You don’t screw a girl you don’t care about. That’s not my brother.”
“Maybe it is now.”
“You look like shit,” Dallas says when I walk in.
The sucky thing about being close with your siblings is that they’re all under the impression they can jump into your business and tell you what to do. It’s annoying as fuck, even though I know they have my best intentions at heart.
I debated with myself on whether to drink away my sorrows for the second night in a row, but after what happened last night, it’ll be awhile before I show my face at the pub again.
“Really?” I ask. “Because I feel fucking fantastic.”
He slides a beer across the coffee table to me when I collapse onto the couch. If I can’t go to the bar, at least I have him here to bartend and get me hammered.
I hold the bottle out in front of me and take a good look at it. “How come whenever the brain and the heart fight, it’s always the liver that suffers?”
“Because it’s the easiest one to take our anger out on,” Dallas answers, kicking his feet up on the table. “Have you talked to Stella?”
I shake my head.
“She didn’t reach out about the video?”
“I wouldn’t know even if she did. I turned my phone off to ignore the endless calls. I’m changing my number tomorrow.”
“Maybe you should call her.”
“She made her choice.”
“Did she? Or did you see a stupid magazine headline and push her away because of it? Didn’t you give her the ultimatum of you or her career?”
“No, it was me or Eli. I’d never force her to give up her career. I only told her I wouldn’t be the other man. Don’t sit there and act like you wouldn’t have done the same thing. Yes, I gave her an ultimatum, which shouldn’t be used in relationships, but this situation was different. I’d never force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. She knew they’d rip me apart for that article. She knows how I felt about cheating.” I look up at him. “Did you know?”
“About her and Spencer?”
I nod.
“I was there.�
�
I tighten my fingers around the beer bottle.
“Not in the room, but they were at a club, both of them wasted. Stella got into an argument with Knox. She ran into Spencer, one thing led to another, and he came to our suite with us at the end of the night. Then, I went to bed.”
“Did he join her in her room?”
“I didn’t follow them, but I’m assuming so.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not my story to tell, and if I recall correctly, you sat in my kitchen saying it wasn’t anything serious between you two. If you weren’t in a relationship, why does it matter? It was in her past, Hudson. She was young, drunk, and desperate for affection. Her ex was off touring the world and flirting with thousands of women every night. There was a different story about him cheating on her every other day, and she could barely get him on the phone sometimes. Don’t hold one mistake over her head. Talk to her. Fix this. You two seemed happy together.”
“I could never make her happy.”
“Shut the fuck up and quit wallowing in your self-pity.”
“I can’t give her what those other men can. I don’t have access to jets. I can’t buy ten thousand square foot homes or extravagant gifts. That’s Stella’s type, and that will never be me. I was a fuck toy while she couldn’t have a real boyfriend.”
I’m whining like a little bitch.
His voice lowers. “Stella isn’t like that. She won’t expect that from you. Do you love her?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what I feel anymore.”
“Don’t bullshit me.”
“Would I be this upset if I was trying to bullshit you?”
“Brother, take my word, wasting time on love because of fear is a mistake. You never know how long you have until it’s gone. Do it for me. Do it for Lucy. Let love into your heart again before you end up losing it.” He wipes tears from his eyes. “All I have to say is I’m encouraging love for everyone around me because I know what it makes you feel. Even in the short time I had with Lucy, it was like a dream come true. My dream life that ended up in a nightmare. I wouldn’t change it for anything though. Time isn’t something that’s promised to anyone—no matter how rich, how young, or how healthy you are. You can lose everything in the blink of an eye. Don’t let it hold you back.”
Just a Fling Page 18