The look on Luke’s face was priceless as he straightened like a soldier standing in front of his superior officer. “Yes, sir,” he replied solemnly.
I hid a smile behind my hand. Dad winked and then put out his cigar before turning to go into the house. I sauntered to where the guys were debating who’d been a better lead singer, Mick Jagger or Freddie Mercury. Jared was spinning his drumsticks around his fingers expertly, flipping them from one hand to the other with practiced flare. Luke held a guitar pick between his teeth, shifting it around as he talked.
“Dude, no way, Jagger’s the man!” Jared argued. “The look, the voice, the moves … come on!”
Luke shrugged. “Jagger’s cool, but Freddie’s a true artist. He had the moves.”
“Seriously? Moves Like Jagger? I mean, Jagger was so iconic they wrote a song just about his dance moves. You can’t beat that.”
“You boys gonna have a fight?” I joked as I joined them near the rail. “Drumsticks versus guitar, in a battle to the death?”
Jared swung out with one of his drumsticks, tapping me light on the hand. “Shut up, squirt. So, how’s my future wife, Chloe?”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Jared had a huge crush on Chloe, who wouldn’t give him the time of day. The last time they’d been around each other he’d harped on her so much she’d emptied a glass of lemonade over his head. “There’s a match made in Hell if ever there was one,” I said, shaking my head.
Jared grinned. “She wants me, she’s just playing hard to get. Tell her I’m waiting when she’s ready.”
Luke laughed at that and struck a chord on his guitar, still chewing on the guitar pick. I shot Jared a glance that said ‘get lost’, and he quickly took the hint. He forced a yawn and stood, stretching.
“Wow, I’m beat. I think I’ll head up to bed. Later, Luke. Squirt.”
I made a face at his back as he retreated, still spinning one of his drumsticks. “Your brother’s cool,” Luke said, slipping the guitar pick into his pocket and setting the instrument on one of Mom’s rocking chairs. He sat on the porch swing and I lowered myself beside him.
“I knew you guys would hit it off. My dad likes you, too.”
Luke snorted. “The guy threatened to shoot me, Jenn.”
“Oh, that means he really likes you. If he didn’t he would have threatened to beat you within an inch of your life first, then shoot you.”
“It might just be worth it for one of these,” he said huskily, leaning toward me and placing a hand at the back of my neck. His fingers were light but firm as he pulled me in for a kiss. I leaned into him, dizzy from the slow rock of the swing and Luke’s lips on mine. It was sweet and light, with just the barest hint of tongue sweeping against my lower lip. “Oh yeah,” he whispered when he pulled away. “So worth it.”
He leaned back against the swing and took me with him. My head rested on his shoulder and my hand on his chest as we rocked. Silence fell between us, but it was comfortable. The sound of bugs chirping mingled with the sound of my mom’s music coming through one of the open kitchen windows. Through the white lace curtains, I could see Mom, kneading dough, and Dad standing beside her talking in hush tones. She giggled and swatted at him with her rolling pin. We watched as he snatched the rolling pin from her and pull her into his arms as Billy Joel sang Just the Way You Are. My dad may have been a nerd back in the day, but the man sure could dance. He twirled her around the kitchen, singing off key as she giggled like a schoolgirl.
“Your parents are awesome,” Luke said. “I wish my parents were more like them.”
“Your parents don’t act like this?” The idea was shocking for me. I’d never experienced anything different.
Luke shrugged. “Dad’s always drunk and Mom’s always yelling. They fight, then they make up, and they fight some more. They always say they love each other, but you wouldn’t know it by the way they treat each other. I used to watch sitcoms and see those happy couples with their perfect kids and wish my family could be like that. I know all the girls want a love like Romeo and Juliet, but me … I always wanted a love like Homer and Marge.”
I laughed and pushed him, causing the swing to sway wildly. “Homer and Marge? Seriously?”
He laughed, too. “Oh definitely. They’re not perfect, but they love each other. Marge accepts Homer’s faults, and even though he has a lot of them, you just know he’s crazy about Marge. They don’t do too bad, you know. Nice home, three kids, loads of fun. That’s what I want.”
“You want to be fat, drunk, and obnoxious, and marry a toothpick with blue hair?” I asked with a smirk.
Luke stood. “Maybe we can leave off the beer belly, though I think you’d look incredible with blue hair.”
Silence fell between us again as my eyes widened. “You think of me as your Marge?”
Luke leaned against the rail again, running a hand through his hair. “Does that freak you out?”
I stood, facing him. I grabbed his hands and pulled him toward me. “Yes, but in a good way. Not a run for the hills screaming kind of way. More like that second right before you jump out of an airplane, or before you perform in front of an audience for the first time. It’s not a bad feeling. It’s sort of like—”
“Jenn.”
“Yes?”
“Shut up.” Luke pulled me against him, putting one arm around my waist and taking my hand in his.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Apparently it’s a night for dancing,” he said, swaying with me to the music. “Besides, you were about to say something to me. Something very important. You have to wait until exactly the right moment. Make it count.”
A lump rose up in my throat, hard and fast, and emotion washed over me as Luke waltzed me across the porch. Billy Joel crooned, and over his shoulder through the window, I could see my parents still locked together, my mom resting on my dad’s chest. I smiled and did the same with Luke, listening to his heartbeat. He was right, this moment was huge. I had thought the night we kissed had changed things forever between us, but I wasn’t counting on this; the moment when it would hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn’t deny it anymore.
When I ended things with Dain, I had thought my pain was over his betrayal. I had thought losing him would hurt me more than anything, but as time went on my pain quickly revealed itself as embarrassment for having been tricked. Once it was gone, I realized I didn’t give two shits about Dain. Like Mom had said, infatuation faded and I realized that we’d had no foundation.
As I looked up at Luke and my eyes locked with his, I finally understood why it had been that way. It was because real love wasn’t that first punch in the gut when you think you just have to have somebody. It was companionship and laughter. It was bringing someone chicken soup when they were sick and comforting them when they were hurt. It was whipped cream fights and singing to the radio. It was holding hands and dancing under the stars. It had been in front of me all this time and I hadn’t even seen it. Maybe, because I’d made it complicated, when at the end of the day it was all so simple.
I gripped his shoulders and stared up at him, seeing him as I never had before. My chest swelled with pride at the thought that he was mine.
“Luke.”
He stared down at me, pausing mid-dance. His hand came up to my face, his thumb tracing my chin and the line of my jaw. “Yes?”
“I love you,” I blurted the words before I could lose my nerve. Once they were out, I smiled, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Funny how the truth can do that to you. It felt so good I had to say it again. “I love you.”
Luke’s smile could have lit a hundred Christmas trees as he crushed me against him, his lips finding mine. “I love you, too,” he murmured against them. His hands were suddenly everywhere, in my hair, on my shoulders, running down my back. “God, it feels good to finally say it to your face. I love you, Jenn.”
I sighed against his lips, clinging to his shirt as I lost myself in the
moment, in him. He propelled me around the side of the house and out of view of the window, pressing me against the wood. Beneath his shirt he was hot, his warmth radiating from him and sinking into me, as deep as my bones. My cheeks flushed and a tingling rushed through my blood, beneath my skin in a gentle hum. My legs grew weak, but Luke held me, pressing me up against the side of the house. His hands skimmed down to my hips and he lifted me, bringing my legs around his waist.
He devoured my lips hungrily, the taste of him lingering on my tongue when he reluctantly pulled back. “Jenn,” he said. “If you don’t stop kissing me like that I can’t promise I won’t do something worthy of getting shot by your dad.”
My breath was heavy, a match for his as I stared at him from beneath eyelids gone heavy with desire. I was intoxicated by him. I wanted him. Placing my feet back on the porch, I reached toward Mom’s rocker and grabbed the blanket she’d left there. “Come with me,” I said.
We dashed out across the yard together, putting the house behind us as we quickly ran for the woods. Mom’s mason jar lights twinkled in the distance, guiding us. Luke laughed as I tugged at his hand, the blanket trailing out behind us. He slowed our progress a few times, grabbing my back against his front, leaning down to kiss my temple or the side of my neck. Shivers ran though me at his touch, and I reveled in it, not caring at that moment that someone could look through the window at any moment and see us. Finally, the long stretch of field gave way into the thick tangle of trees leading into the woods and we were swallowed up by them, no longer in view of the house. The lights from the jars faded behind us and soon we were swallowed up by darkness.
“Oh, God, you’re going to take advantage of me and bury my body in the woods, aren’t you?” Luke joked.
I elbowed him in the ribs and I searched for the spot I was looking for. “I will if you don’t shut up.”
“Hey,” he admonished, grabbing me from behind and wrapping his arms around me. “You can’t talk to me like that for at least twenty-four hours. That’s the rule after you tell someone you love them.”
“It’s not a rule!”
“I’m making it one.”
“Here we are,” I said as we came into a clearing. In the center was an old cabin my grandfather had built. “Come on.” I pulled Luke inside, quickly finding the kerosene lamp near the door. Thankfully, it was full, and a box of matches rested beside it. I lit it, illuminating the little one room structure.
“Cool,” Luke said, glancing around the room as he closed the door behind us. It was cold, but my dad had installed a heater a few years ago. I turned it on, holding my hands out to warm them as the chill slowly faded from the room.
“Back before a lot of people moved to this area, my grandfather used to hunt out here. He’d camp out for days and hang out here, skinning his kills and butchering the meat. When my parents inherited the house my dad had it furnished. He used to come out here to study when he was working toward his doctorate. And every now and then someone comes out here to be alone, read, or just hang out. No one will bother us.”
In the room were a few couches resting on the wooden floor with a thick rug between them. A few bookshelves filled with dusty books lined the walls and some of my father’s sports memorabilia and awards were there as well. A desk in the corner held another lamp, and a large La-Z Boy recliner rested near another table, which held a stack of books and an ashtray.
I went over to the rug and turned to face Luke. “Come here,” I said, motioning for him to join me. He obeyed, watching me hopefully as I reached for him. My hands shook as I found the hem of his shirt, curling my fingers around it. One of Luke’s hands came over mine and he steadied it. I raised my eyes to his and found understanding there.
“Are you sure?”
I slipped one hand beneath his shirt and found his abs, my hands skimming the tight muscles. “More sure than I’ve ever been about anything. I love you, Luke. I want this night with you.”
Luke nodded and lowered his hands, letting me continue where I’d left off. I pulled his shirt off over his head, baring his torso to the lamplight. He was beautiful—stretches of lean muscle beneath sun-tanned skin. His waist tapered down into narrow hips, from which his jeans hung, held by his belt. My fingers lingered at the belt buckle for a moment and I took a deep breath to still them. The trembling rocked me from head to toe, filling me with anticipation for what would happen next. I opened the belt and slid it from the loop before releasing the button and going for the zipper.
Luke caught my hands and brought them up to his lips, gently kissing the knuckles of each one. His hands slid up my arms and to my shoulders, pushing my sweater off and letting it flutter to the floor. He pulled me close and lowered his lips to my neck, kissing his way up toward my face as he reached for my shirt. It joined his on the floor and he reached for the clasp of my bra, freeing it and letting it drop as well. I’d always been self-conscious about my body where guys were concerned, but I felt nothing like that with Luke. The way he was looking at me as he relieved me of the rest of my clothes made me feel beautiful and perfect. This was the feeling I’d been waiting for, I realized. It was all the better because I knew that Luke loved me.
He was gentle as he lowered me the rug before coming on top of me. His body was heavy, but comforting on mine, his skin smooth and unbelievably soft. He propped himself up on his elbows, his fingers tangling in my hair as he leaned down to kiss me. My body came to life under his, aching for more of his touch, more of his kiss. Even though I’d been touched before, been kissed many times, everything Luke did felt new and exciting. I felt as if I was doing everything for the first time with him.
And then, when it came time to do the one thing I’d never experienced, there were no mishaps. Not unless you count the fact that we kind of bumped heads while going in for a kiss, but I don’t count that. Because after it happened, Luke laughed and kissed my forehead where his had collided with it. Then that kiss had skimmed the bridge of my nose and captured my lips before traveling lower. By the time he worked his way back up to my lips, we were both in a frenzy. That moment Luke had talked about made itself very clear to me. My chest expanded in my chest and it became very hard to breathe as I clung to him, waiting for him to find the condom in his wallet.
“Hurry, Luke,” I urged him. Luke had been right; I felt like I was going to die if he didn’t finish what we’d started. When it happened, there was definitely pain, but Luke eased it away with his gentleness and his care. I held on to him, letting him show me what it felt like when the initial spark between two people grew into something more. The intensity of it built and swelled, until exploding in a final surge of passion that stole my breath away; and still, after that intensity was gone, we were left with what we’d had in the beginning. Comfort, and closeness. As Luke lay beside me, his forehead slick with sweat and his breath coming in short gasps, I rested in his arms and waited for my heart to slow. Our legs tangled beneath the blanket as Luke reached up and grabbed it from the couch, covering our bodies. Our fingers intertwined as I lay against him, staring at the ceiling. Luke brought my hand up to his lips, kissing each finger slowly before taking the pinky into his mouth, caressing it with his tongue. The he kissed my forehead and gave me a little squeeze. “So,” he said, playing absently with my hair, “what now?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe we should move in together or something,” I replied with a laugh.
“Already done.”
“Oh, yeah. Well, we could—”
Luke cut me off with another kiss. “There you go again. How about this? Just love me, Jenn.”
I turned to face him and smiled. “Already done.”
Epilogue
Day 60
I rolled over as my cell phone’s alarm clock blared loudly on the nightstand beside me. I reached for it and missed, then sat up and glared at it through stands of hair fallen into my face. I shut it off and groaned, burying my face in my pillow.
“Time to get up, Luke,”
I mumbled. I turned my back to him and rubbed at my eyes as drowsiness clung to the edge of my consciousness. “And I don’t want to hear any complaining. If you hadn’t kept me up so late, we wouldn’t be so tired now.”
I smiled, remembering last night and Luke’s hands and mouth on my body. I turned toward him and found the bed empty. I frowned, touching the side where he’d just been sleeping next to me. After returning from my parents’ house, Luke started sleeping in my room. It was a tight squeeze on the narrow bed, but Luke said he enjoyed having an excuse to hold me close. I frowned, glancing around the room.
“Luke?”
I stood and stretched, noticing the door was ajar. Frowning, I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail. The house was unusually quiet for this time of the morning, but I figured Chloe and Christian were still sleeping, Kinsley had probably gone to the library early to do some studying, and Luke … where the hell was Luke? As I ducked into the bathroom to brush my teeth, I fought back disappointment that I hadn’t woken up beside him on today of all days. I inspected myself in the mirror, and decided I certainly looked the same. Yet, nothing was the same. I was a different person, exactly who I’d wanted to be at twenty-one.
After splashing cold water on my face, I left the bathroom and padded downstairs, moving toward the kitchen with coffee on my mind. The moment my feet made contact with the tiles, music sounded in the living room. The beginning refrain of My Girl by The Temptations filled the house and I turned to find everyone waiting for me.
Laughter exploded from my chest as Luke strode forward, hairbrush held in hand like a microphone. Kinsley, Chloe, and Christian stood behind him wearing matching baby blue blazers over their pajamas as they performed synchronized dance moves to the song, complete with snaps, claps and spins.
“I’ve got sunshi-iiiine,” Luke sang as he circled me, crooning into his hairbrush, “on a cloudy daaaaaay. When it’s coooool outsi-iiiiide, I’ve got the month of Maa-aaay! I guess yooooou say, what can make me feel this way?”
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