by Kailin Gow
“Well,” said Justin, “Kalina's eighteen. She can make her own decisions on the matter. I won't stand in anyone's way. It's really up to Kalina. Although...” he laughed. “I'm flattered that you think I have such a say over what Kalina does and doesn't do. She's still my little sister, after all.”
“I'd love to!” Kalina couldn't help laughing – even giggling. “I'd love to go to the prom.” It was the first normal thing in her life since Europe, since Octavius, since Mal – the first real, genuine, exciting, normal, teenaged thing. She couldn't have predicted her own gleeful response.
“Well, dude,” said Justin, shifting uncomfortably, “guess you've got your answer then.”
When Stuart had left, Justin sat down next to Kalina, producing a box she had not seen before. “I meant to give you this for your eighteenth birthday,” said Justin, but we missed this opportunity – we were both away...I'm sorry about that. But Mom and Dad – they gave it to me to give to you...until you were eighteen...”
He produced a beautiful garnet pendant with an antique burnish-brown ornate oval frame on a narrow chain – simple yet elegant. “It was around your neck when you were a baby, in the orphanage. Mom and Dad didn't want to tell you you were adopted – they were going to tell you when you turned eighteen – but when they died I thought it was right to tell you then... All that stuff you said about your blood got me thinking. Because – there is something different about you. When you were two years old – you hit your head. Needed stitches. But you...something was weird about your blood type. Dad decided to treat you himself, in the end – because the hospital couldn't get its paperwork together – your blood type kept showing up all over the place...”
“Why didn't you tell me?” Kalina asked.
“We didn't want you to feel different,” said Justin. “Whatever weird thing was going on with you – you seemed healthy enough – and we didn't want to make you feel like a freak or something – especially when you were so young.”
Kalina's mind raced. Could she have handled this – all that terrible truth – at the age of two or three? How about nine or ten? Thirteen? She sighed – even now, Life’s Blood was too much to take in.
“Look, Justin – I'm not mad at you or anything, but I could really use a nap right now. Do you....do you mind?”
She fingered the garnet pendant.
“No, of course,” said Justin. He kissed her forehead. “You know no matter what, you're always my sister, right?”
“Right,” said Kalina. She sighed.
Chapter 8
The next few weeks passed by in a bit of a haze. The vampire security guards had gone from being an intrusion to an accepted part of life – and although their cold eyes and constant watchful presence gave Kalina a bit of a shiver she eventually got used to them, and tried to ignore their stealthy presence in her corridors, in her classrooms, at the bleachers or the Stomping Ground. They seemed to use compulsion on the others – escaping their notice – although Maeve often complained of a bitter cold every time they entered the room – but Kalina could see them. Nevertheless she managed to ignore them and participate in life as fully as she could. She scrambled to finish her homework, her routines for the cheerleading team's next game, and soon it was time for senior prom, late in March.
“I can't believe it,” said Maeve, who was going with an artistic senior called Joe Ellison, “I feel so old!”
And then the night was upon her, and it was time for Kalina to get dressed and get ready herself for the prom.
A knock came at the door. When Kalina opened it, she saw Stuart, looking as she had never seen him before. He was much more handsome, with a sultry smile in his eyes. His tuxedo was elegantly cut, old-fashioned – the sort of dapper and suave suit that would have seemed so out of place in the present day were it not for Stuart's incredible beauty, which rendered anything that might have seemed strange in a high school setting to nothing more than licensed eccentricity.
Kalina for her part had dressed all in black, in a sea of foaming velvet that tapered off above her breast, leaving her neck and shoulders swan-like and uncovered. Above her breasts she wore a shimmering necklace, studded with a single diamond gem. She had received the box in the mail – a necklace with a message. For a rite of passage – and a chance for you to lead a life as beautiful as you are. -O. The necklace had, as if by magic, conspired to go perfectly with the dress.
When Stuart's eyes fell upon her, Kalina could hear the swift intake of breath, sharp and heady.
“Say hi for the camera – Kalina, Stuart!” Justin waved a camcorder in their faces; they laughed awkwardly as they stood next to each other, fidgeting as they tried to force the corsage onto Kalina's wrist.
“Adult or no adult,” Justin whispered to her, “You're still my little sister. And I want to put these in the family scrapbook! Stuart, smile!”
They had agreed to go to the prom as friends – just as friends. But as the two of them stared at each other, taking in the beauty that had washed over them like a purifying wave, Kalina began to feel an old, familiar desire in her breast, a sense of closeness to Stuart that went beyond just friendship.
The night, too, passed as if by magic. They were lost in a sea of silk and velvet dresses – set apart by their beauty from the rest of the high school crowd, the way a precious stone is set apart in the gems of a necklace. Kalina barely noticed the jealous stares coming their way, of girls eyeing Stuart, and boys staring at her from head to toe. She could barely keep her eyes from gazing into his, they seemed made for each other tonight.
Stuart was the perfect escort, trained in the gentlemanly and chivalric arts for centuries. He kissed Kalina's hand and danced with her, bowing before each number (ballroom dancing he found easy; he swayed with some slight discomfort to the jazz and swing numbers, and bowed out entirely for the late-night R&B). He brought her punch and greeted all her friends warmly, at once making it seem that he cared for all of them deeply – because they were Kalina's friends – and yet never allowing them to release Kalina from her position of first priority in his mind. He spoke to Maeve and Joe Ellison, asked the right questions – about life, interests, college plans – and behaved with perfect charm and decorum. There was something to be said, Kalina thought, for this brand of gentlemanliness. Stuart seemed so much older and more mature than all these other boys – so much wiser – certainly he was much more mature than Aaron had been....
Aaron! But Kalina couldn't think about that now. She had forced herself to tear her mind from Jaegar and Aaron. Jaegar's fate was sealed, she knew, but perhaps there was hope for Aaron yet – she prayed for him nightly, but had resigned herself to the fact there was nothing she could do. In the wake of her return to Rutherford and the arrival of Octavius' security detail it has begun to get easier, to forget, to live normally. But every now and then Kalina felt the familiar, sharp pain of losing Aaron for a second time.
They danced a final dance on the floor – to the slow strains of “New York State of Mind,” and Stuart held Kalina close to his chest, stroking her hair softly, murmuring the sounds of the song into her neck as they swayed closely to the rhythm.
“Come outside with me,” Stuart whispered, leading her by the hand to the terrace outside the hotel where the prom was being held. The cool spring breeze drifted over them, carrying the scent of magnolias and jasmine on the porch into their nostrils.
The moonlight struck Kalina, whitening her breast and her shoulders. She stopped, framed against the magnolia plants, bathed in moonlight and the perfume from the flowers. Stuart stopped short, too, struck by her beauty.
“Kalina, I..”
“I know...” There was so much to say between them – so much which had been made so complicated. For a moment, a brief, fantastic, glimmer of a moment, they could pretend – they could forget all that and go back to that brilliant moment when all was new and glorious, when they had first kissed...
“I've waited for so long – to see you look at me again like
this...” Stuart's voice was low and soft. “I could only wish...”
“Stuart.” Kalina's voice was trembling. “I feel so much for you – Stuart – I do...and if I could love you enough – feel whatever it is I'm supposed to feel...to make you human – I would. I swear it, Stuart, I really would. If I could choose – dictate my own feelings, my own heart, I swear it would be you...”
He caught her hand and pressed it to his lips.
Kalina was overcome. Maybe it was because of all the closeness they had shared these last few weeks, maybe it was because of the romantic evening, maybe it was Octavius’ blood in him, maybe it was because deep down in her, she truly loved him. Against herself, without even thinking about it, she reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the side of the mouth, somewhere between his cheek and his lips, and then somehow the chaste kiss slid down in the direction of his mouth.
“Kalina,” Stuart pulled back, surprised. The kiss had been gentle – soft – like the slow breeze of a summer morning or afternoon, but yet Kalina found her heart beginning to beat faster, nevertheless, the sweetness of the kiss heating and boiling until there was desire, too, heaving with each of her breaths.
He kissed her again, harder this time, with a direct, straightforward desire that thrilled her, shook her to the bone.
She loved Octavius – she knew she loved Octavius – and yet in his absence it was so easy, in her loneliness, in her empty heart, to turn to another love, another set of feelings. Octavius had told her they could never be together. Not with Mal around, not when Octavius was the only powerful vampire left of the consortium, and the responsibilities that went with that burden. There was so much emotion rising in her...she needed someone there, someone to kiss, to want and to be wanted by. Octavius had not returned to her since that dream – she knew what he wanted of her – to move on, to make a new life, a beautiful life without him, a life unencumbered by the impossibility of their love. Was it possible, Kalina wondered as she kissed Stuart, to love two people at once – or three or four – to love different things in different people? Before she'd started dating, when she was young and naïve, Kalina had believed that the only love was one that was sure and true and lasted forever. But her experiences with the Greystone Brothers and with Jaegar had complicated all that. For she knew that it was not the case. She had strong, powerful feelings for Jaegar and for Stuart, for Aaron and for Octavius, love and desire and friendship and gratitude and need and want all conflicting with each other, desires ricocheting off the inside of her heart like Ping-Pong balls. Was it because she was bonded by blood to these vampire brothers and their maker, bonded by love and destiny?
And Stuart had done so much for her! If it was only a question of that, only a question of deserving, Stuart would surely win. He had given up so much for her – put up with so much for her – he had given her his blood to ensure her safety, at the risk of driving himself mad with desire. If only it was possible, she thought mournfully, to simply choose whom one loved, to turn all these conflicting feelings and desires onto one person – like a spotlight – and decide that they would all be focused on one person, enough to engender true, real love.
He deserved to be human, Kalina thought. More than any of them.
He deserved so much more than that. She had to give him a chance.
Their kiss was interrupted by a sharp, piercing scream. It echoed through the night – the sound coming closer in the form of a young girl – Jeanette Willow, from history class – her aquamarine dress torn to shreds and her knees stained with blood and dirt.
“It's Ed,” she cried. “Ed!”
Ed Marlowe was Jeanette's long-term boyfriend.
“We were in the woods – you know...just...” Jeanette wailed. “And this thing came at us – animal...person....teeth – sharp teeth, I don't know if he's....”
She began wailing.
“We need to get you out of here,” said Stuart in a low, sharp whisper. “Jeanette, call the hospital. Now!”
In a flash, he had grabbed Kalina and was flying with her through the skies, the woods, the wind whipping at the speed of light against them. Kalina saw the whole of Rutherford below them, until at last her house was getting bigger and bigger beneath them – coming closer and closer – and then her feet touched the ground. Kalina put her hand on the hand rail to steady herself.
“Stuart...”
“Kalina – I'm sorry – the guards...he must have gotten past Octavius' guards.”
“Do you think it's....”
“I don't know...”
“Maeve!” Kalina shouted. “Please – Maeve! She'll be alone – a target – I know she's a target.”
“I can't leave...”
“Go!” Kalina looked up. “I can defend myself – Maeve – please, she really can't....you know where she is – her blood, your blood....”
It was true. Maeve and Stuart shared a blood link, she knew. And Stuart would know how to protect her.
“Are you sure?”
“I'm sure.” Kalina began unlocking the door. “Come on, now! Go!”
Stuart nodded and vanished into the darkness.
Kalina opened the door.
Chapter 9
Kalina looked around. The house was dark, empty. Justin was gone. He must have gone back to the hospital, she reasoned; if there had been vampire attacks tonight, he would need to be on duty to provide blood transfusions, to provide support. She swallowed hard. The house seemed bigger than ever in the dark and in the emptiness. The wind whistled through the corridors; the gauze of the curtains fluttered like a trapped butterfly. The place felt cold; she shivered, feeling the sensation tremble from the nape of her neck to the base of her spine.
“Hello,” she called, in a breathless whisper. Fear choked her, stifling her voice. “Hello, is anyone there?”
She could not bear the silence – an expectant silence that whispered promises of danger, of desire, of death. She felt a presence in the house – a nameless, formless fear – and tried to banish it.
“Hello!”
Justin was gone. Maeve was gone. Stuart was gone. And the house was empty. And yet there was somebody there...
Kalina climbed the steps to her room on tiptoe. Nobody was in the house, she reasoned. Nobody could be in the house! It had been locked...She tried to push the fear out of her mind as she swung open the door to her bedroom.
And then she saw him.
He was sitting on her bed, swinging his feet along the floor. He looked so much like he had looked when she last saw him – the same dashing, careless beauty, the same primal power in his shoulders and neck, the look of a man who had killed and could kill, who knew what he wanted and would take it at his desire. It was Jaegar.
“So, you've picked Stuart, then,” he said, with strained nonchalance, a hint of sadness.
“Jaegar...”
Her voice caught in her throat. He looked around the room and she knew at once what he was thinking; she felt his memories pervade her own, his voice invade her head. He sent images to her through the vines of her mind – images of the last time they were alone together in the room. They had started by kissing -it had been just kissing at first – and then he had been undoing her bathrobe, his lips against her stomach, and they had come so close, achingly ever closer, to consummating their desire. How she loved him then, desired him, and how he loved her…before Octavius.
Kalina froze, the memories flooding her brain. He had stopped, then – they had stopped – so afraid of what would happen if he drank her blood, of the madness that would flood his mind, overcome his restraint – the madness of evil. He had stopped – they had stopped – and now here he was before her, his worst fears realized.
He threw back his head and laughed, an evil, eerie laugh that froze Kalina's blood. He gazed upon her with sure, direct eyes. She knew exactly, without question, without denial what it was he wanted to do to her; she knew he would not hesitate any longer.
I have waited long enough.
The chemistry was electric.
You want me, Kalina.
And she did want him, at once; her body shuddered involuntarily with desire, as he came to her, wrapped his hands around her, drew her down to him. She was sleepwalking, walking as if in a dream, his voice and his body and his hands all echoes from a not unfamiliar past. Their chemistry had been real, once; now, ignited by magic, it was overpowering.
He kissed her; she tasted blood on his lips and still succumbed, allowing him to press her down upon the bed, into the softness of the satin sheets, slide the silk and velvet of her dress down her body revealing her lacy black bra set, kiss her breasts, his eyes dark with desire, his lips curved into a wicked smile of appreciation. He trailed hot smoldering kisses slowly down her body. She felt only desire. Then his shirt was off, and she felt his warm chest hard against her chest as his mouth kissed her passionately. “The wait only increased my desire for you…” Somewhere, in the back of her mind, her natural resistance cried out; her conscious brain ignored it. She was gazing at Jaegar as if through a fog, a haze of pleasure.
She moaned softly as he sank his teeth into her, puncturing the smooth expanses of her neck, sucking down mouthfuls of blood – more than he had taken from the vial, more than Mal had given him, at last consummating the desire that had echoed through him for centuries...Jaegar’s face was in ecstasy, drinking Life’s Blood from the very source!
No – no!
Kalina's eyes shot open; her senses returned to her. She screamed, a deafening scream that turned into a wail, and pushed Jaegar away, gaining just enough time to roll across the floor.
Think, Kalina, think. She grabbed a stake and aimed it, ready to send it straight into Jaegar's heart. She couldn't bear to kill him; she had to kill him; she couldn't bear to die.