RILEY
Riley woke with a jolt, panic pumping a massive dose of adrenaline around his body, sending his heart rate skyrocketing. Pain throbbed in his stomach and a frantic beeping sounded somewhere to his left.
“Zoe, Zoe,” he cried.
“Riley, take it easy,” said a deep voice.
It was a voice Riley recognised but he was too agitated to put a face to it. Something pressed down on his shoulders, encouraging him to lie back down but he had to get up, he had to find her.
“Zoe,” he yelled, the word trailing off as the strength drained right out of him. The beeping to his left started to slow.
“Riley, it’s Johnno.”
Finally Riley realised it was one of his best mates and fellow SAS operative, John Manning. He forced his eyes open and found himself looking into his best mate’s stubbly face, the fluorescent lights reflecting off his bald head. Johnno looked tired and worn down.
“Zoe?” said Riley hopefully, his throat so dry it hurt to talk.
“Don’t you remember mate?” he replied in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. “She died yesterday. You were with her.”
Riley groaned as the memory slammed into him. Sitting by her hospital bedside, cradling her hand, begging her to wake up, beautiful body swollen and distorted from her horrific injuries, her stomach - which had once held their baby daughter waiting to be born - had been empty, Maisie in the hospital mortuary. He recalled the blip of the heart monitor failing, the nurses wheeling him out, forced to sit helplessly in a corridor praying they revived her, then collapsing when he’d been told she’d finally lost her three day fight to live.
The world blurred as Riley flung himself from side to side, a roar filling his head as he released the pain that was swelling inside his body, threatening to split him wide open. He grabbed Johnno’s shirt front with one hand and pulled him towards him. “Kill me Johnno. Jesus, I can’t take this. Kill me. Now.”
Genuine distress filled his friend’s eyes as he wrenched Riley’s hand from his shirt and gripped it tightly in both his own. “I’m not going to do that because you are going to get better then you’re going after the bastards who did this. Jasper’s gone underground, the police are already looking for him but they won’t find him. You will and you’ll rip his heart out, just like he’s done to you. Got it?”
Riley clung onto his friend for dear life and attempted to focus on the prospect of revenge, but all he could see was Zoe screaming for him as she was gang-raped, her face coated with blood, her precious swollen stomach badly bruised.
He bellowed out the name of his dead fiancée and the name of the child he’d lost, murdered before she’d even had a chance to live.
He heard shouting all around him but he didn’t care. The entire human race could fuck off. There was a sharp sting in his right arm, his body relaxed and he sank into nothing.
When Riley next woke he felt calmer which, he surmised, was a result of the drug he’d been given. There were people in the room with him but he wasn’t interested in them. All he wanted was to be with Zoe and Maisie, his family, his girls. He cursed the hospital and its staff for saving his life when he would have been much happier dead, then he would be with them now.
“Corporal Cutter, can you hear me?”
He didn’t recognise the voice but his automatic response was to open his eyes, years of army training forcing him to respond to his professional title.
The face looming over him was large with a prominent forehead, from which sprouted thick brown hair flecked with grey. Intelligent dark eyes blinked down at him.
“Riley, I’m DCI Taylor. Your friends have told me everything but I still need to take your statement when you’re feeling up to it. I want you to know we’re doing everything in our power to locate the men who did this.”
Riley didn’t want them to find the Lucifer’s Shadow MC, he wanted to find them himself, especially the President, Jasper White and Stoner, his VP, who had been responsible for the majority of what had been done to Zoe and Maisie. Some of the MC hadn’t been comfortable with it, they’d hung back, white-faced and afraid, but they’d stood by and done nothing to stop it, which, in his book, made them equally guilty. But Jasper and Stoner had been the ones to take turns raping Zoe, who’d beaten her and threatened to cut the baby out of her. They were the ringleaders and he’d kill them personally, after torturing them first. The prospect briefly blocked out the memory of Zoe begging him to help her when he’d been helpless to intervene, chained to a radiator, forced to watch his worst nightmare being played out.
“We found one of the club members dead, his neck was broken,” said Taylor.
His voice brought Riley back to the present, he’d forgotten he was even there.
“It was self defence no doubt,” continued Taylor. “Don’t worry about that.”
Riley wasn’t about to.
“Have you finished now? He needs his rest,” snapped a shrewish voice.
He sighed inwardly. The voice belonged to his mum, who was the last person he needed. She’d never liked Zoe, she’d always despised her zest for living, which, admittedly, had bordered on wild sometimes. He recalled the first time they’d made love, up against a tree in warm torrential rain at the side of a road, her soft blond hair pressed against his cheek, her arms locked around his neck. It had been the freest, most spontaneous night of his life. When his eyes filled with tears he pressed his left hand to his face, feeling the tug of the drip jammed under the skin. He couldn’t believe all that life and passion had been snuffed out like that, crushed underfoot by a bunch of lowlifes.
The stench of Chanel perfume almost choked him. Veronica - his mother - had doused herself in it again. She was dressed immaculately as always, not a single sleek strand of chocolate-brown hair out of place, eye make-up and foundation perfect, nothing to indicate she’d been mourning her daughter-in-law and granddaughter and it made him furious.
“How are you feeling son?” she asked in her cold, unmaternal way.
Riley stared up at her, not bothering to reply. How could he put into words what he was feeling?
“I know it’s hard to lose the person you love but you do get over it eventually, you’ll meet someone else,” said Veronica.
“What are you doing Mum? Zoe’s only just died and you’re talking about other women.”
This was a voice he was pleased to hear. Lexie, his younger sister. She would be grieving for Zoe and Maisie, she’d loved her sister-in-law and she’d been so excited about becoming an aunt. He felt her small warm hand on his own, saw her gently push her mother aside and he was glad to see her badly dyed peroxide blond hair and pretty elfin face, which was swollen and puffy from crying. “I’m sorry Riley,” she said, fresh tears rolling down her face. “It’s just horrible.”
Riley clung onto her hand, his vision blurring as his own hot, salty tears spilled down his face, stinging the cuts. He loved his little sister but he wished his older brother Ian was here. His quiet, thoughtful presence would have calmed him, he wouldn’t have been spouting useless platitudes and he would have helped him gather his thoughts. Unfortunately what no one had realised was that Ian’s calm demeanour had concealed a severe depression and he’d hung himself three years ago. Their dad was dead too and his little brother, Neil, was just plain weird. He sat hunched in the corner like a bizarre, goblin-type creature.
“How long have I been out?” said Riley.
“Two days,” replied Lexie in a tremulous voice. “You woke up a couple of times but you were screaming and shouting so they had to sedate you again.”
Despite his calm Riley could feel the tide of pain and anguish wanting to wash over him, but for the moment the drugs were holding it back, allowing him to think clearly. “Where’s Johnno?”
“Outside with Tom and Eddie.”
“I need to talk to them.”
“Now?”
He nodded, trying to ignore the pain in his stomach. He’d been stabbed several times before h
is friends had burst in just in time to save him. The MC members had scattered and they’d hesitated going after them to tend to Zoe and himself. She’d still been alive then, blood dribbling from her mouth, her beautiful face covered in cigarette burns and bruises, her swollen lips whispering his name. Johnno had freed him from the chains and helped him to her side, Riley leaving a trail of blood behind him. Tom had respectfully pulled Zoe’s maternity dress back down to cover her modesty. Riley had lain beside her and taken her hand, resting his other hand on her belly, praying to feel some movement there, but the only movement was from Zoe’s accelerated breathing and right then he’d known Maisie was gone.
He and Zoe had gazed at each other as they’d waited for the ambulance and police to arrive, Johnno and the others frantically working to stem the blood flowing from their wounds. Riley had watched helplessly as all the colour drained from Zoe’s face. Her hand had gone limp in his and her eyes turned vacant but Johnno managed to resuscitate her and she’d hung on for another three days. As least he’d been with her when she’d died. That was one comfort, the only one.
“I don’t think it’s wise you see anyone, you need to rest,” said Veronica.
Ignoring her, Riley kept his gaze on his sister. “I have to see them, It’s important.”
“Whatever it is can wait. The doctor said you need to sleep so that is what you’re going to do,” pressed Veronica.
“Lexie, please,” he said.
She nodded and walked to the door.
“Hello, can anyone hear me?” said Veronica, outraged.
Lexie opened the door. “He wants to see you,” she called.
Johnno entered followed by Tom and Eddie, who were slightly smaller and skinnier. SAS soldiers were built for speed and endurance.
“Come on Mum,” said Lexie, taking Veronica’s arm and leading her to the door. “Let them talk in peace.”
“He should be resting not talking to those three,” she insisted.
Neil assisted his sister in steering her out of the room. “They saved his life, they’re entitled,” he said.
Veronica’s protests were still audible even when she was out in the corridor and the door to his room had been closed but at least she was out of the way. Riley had never been so grateful to his siblings before.
“Have you found Jasper?” he asked.
It was Johnno who replied. “Not Jasper and Stoner, no, but we have found The Queen.”
Riley’s gaze darkened. “Venom.”
Johnno nodded. “Looks like Jasper’s done one and left her behind.”
“She wasn’t there when it happened.”
“Nothing happens without her say-so. She has more power than Jasper.”
“He might be frightened of what she’ll do to him,” said Eddie. “She’s a fucking psycho.”
“My point is,” said Johnno, “even if she didn’t know what Jasper was planning we can use her to get back at him.”
“What are you saying?” said Riley.
“Do to her what Jasper did to Zoe,” said Johnno, shaking with rage.
Riley knew he’d loved Zoe too, maybe a little too much and he was burning for revenge as much as he was. “What?” he said, stunned.
“I don’t mean do everything Jasper did. We’re not fucking rapists. But we can kill his woman like he killed yours. It might draw him out.”
Shocked, Riley looked from Tom to Eddie, who seemed to be in perfect accord with this plan. “You’re talking about murdering someone.”
“She’s not a person, she’s a drug dealer and professional assassin, as well as a fucking lunatic. She’s rounded up the men who were nothing to do with what happened to Zoe and she’s running the club alone, making tons of money for Jasper to come back to. If we take her out then we sever Jasper’s cash and power base.”
When Riley lapsed into thoughtful silence Johnno added, “just say the word and we’ll do it for you and Zoe and Maisie.”
After a minute’s consideration Riley shook his head. “No. I’ll do it.”
“You can’t, look at the state of you,” he said, gesturing to Riley’s bandaged stomach.
“I’ll get out of here eventually. In the meantime let her think there’ll be no come back. She’ll start to relax, get careless. I want to talk to her, I have to look into her eyes when I ask her if she knew what Jasper was going to do. Did you speak to Dane Black?”
“Yeah. He’s fucking livid and he’s looking for Jasper himself. He gave us a couple of addresses to check out but Jasper wasn’t there. He reckons he’s gone abroad until the police stop looking for him while The Queen runs things here. He actually said he didn’t think Venom knew what was going to happen. If she had she wouldn’t have allowed it. I don’t know how much he means that because I think he’s got a thing for her. Dane’s got his own men looking. If he finds Jasper he’ll let us know.”
“Dane’s alright. If he’d still been part of the MC he would have stopped this,” said Riley. “But you leave Venom to me.”
“If that’s what you want mate. I’m sorry to have to say this but we’ve been recalled.”
“When?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
“Oh,” said Riley, trying not to show how much this upset him. The army was more of a family to him than his own family were. He wasn’t sure he would cope when they were gone. These three men were the only ones preventing him from breaking down completely.
“I’m sorry mate, if we could stay we would,” said Tom.
“I know, it’s okay. I’ve got my family here.”
“Yeah,” said Johhno, gently clapping him on the shoulder. “Jasper will have to come back some time and when he does we’ll fucking have the bastard.”
Riley’s recovery was long and slow, leaving him with a stomach full of scars. It took him weeks to get out of hospital, apart from the one day he was allowed out for Zoe and Maisie’s funeral, who were buried together in the same coffin. That was an horrific affair, Riley on crutches to take the strain off his shredded stomach, watching as the two people he loved most in the world were lowered into the ground.
Veronica arranged for the wake to be held at her house and Riley had sat alone, completely bewildered as people came up to offer him their condolences. He didn’t even know some of them. Zoe’s parents had flashed him accusing looks. If he hadn’t stood up to Lucifer’s Shadow when they began to torment the neighbourhood then their daughter and granddaughter would still be alive. He had the horrible feeling they were right. They didn’t even speak to him or ask how he was and only spent half an hour at the wake before leaving. When he got up to talk to them they’d hurried out the door, leaving him to struggle after them, wobbling on the crutches. By the time he’d reached the front door their car was halfway down the street.
After the funeral his family took him back to hospital feeling even worse. Yes he’d said goodbye to Zoe and Maisie but there was no closure like he’d been told to expect, no sense that a chapter of his life had closed and he was embarking on a new one. He’d never get over their loss, couldn’t envisage the future without them. All he could see before him was a blank emptiness. There was no future, no fresh start. There was only…nothing.
Except for revenge. Fuck justice. He wanted blood and death.
Riley walked into the house he’d shared with Zoe for the first time in six weeks. He hovered on the threshold of the front door, feeling like he wasn’t welcome. Without her the house was dead. Lexie and Veronica had offered to come in with him but he’d said he needed to do this alone.
He stepped inside and shut the door, half-expecting Zoe to greet him in a rush of excitement, fling her arms around his neck and kiss him. His job had terrified her but she’d never complained and had appreciated every second they’d had together. Even if he only nipped out to the corner shop she would always greet him as though he’d been away for months. He’d never quite got over the shock of that incredible woman loving him, he’d always expected it to go wrong, never qui
te feeling he deserved her. Maybe he hadn’t. His actions had effectively killed her, but what should he have done? Lucifer’s Shadow had been making everyone’s lives a misery and no one else was lifting a finger to stop it. The police certainly hadn’t, he’d suspected Jasper, or more likely Venom, had been paying some of them to turn a blind eye. Riley had acted because he didn’t want his daughter growing up in a rough neighbourhood and his wife afraid to go out. He’d done it for them and it had killed them.
Riley snatched up an ugly vase Zoe’s parents had given them as a moving-in present and flung it against a wall. He hadn’t killed them, that fucking MC had and he was going to make them pay for it.
He wandered into the bedroom he’d shared with Zoe, the bed perfectly made, not a single crease in the sheets. She’d been a neat freak, everything immaculate and in its place. Their bedroom had always smelt of her perfume but now the scent was gone. Her brush lay on her dressing table, blond strands caught in the bristles. Tears filled his eyes and he hastily closed the door.
Next he headed into the second bedroom, the one they’d designated for Maisie. Zoe had done a lot of the decorating herself because he’d been stuck in Afghanistan. The walls were a gentle baby pink, the border unicorns. Everything was in place - changing table, wardrobe, chest of drawers, all white and matching. There was a big empty space in the centre of the room for the cot, which he’d gone out to collect the day Zoe had been kidnapped. The cot had been in the boot of his car, he wondered if it was still there. Neil and his friends had offered to take all this stuff away so he wouldn’t have to look at it but he wanted to. If it was gone then he’d lose that final link to them and to the life he’d thought he was going to have. He’d intended on resigning from the army, he’d wanted to be here with his girls. It was one reason why they’d bought a private house and not lived in the barracks. Now he was so glad he hadn’t resigned because the army was all he was left with.
Dividing Line Origins (Short story anthology - Dividing Line Series) Page 11