She leaned back, rubbing her hand over her stomach, over the pale, flawless skin. Tears filled her eyes. Though she didn’t feel any different than she did earlier that evening, she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she was pregnant.
Would a baby make a difference to him?
Yes.
He was far too honorable to walk away from a child. But would knowing he stayed for the child be enough?
No.
For the rest of her life, she would wonder why he stayed and, he might grow to resent her and the baby. She needed him to stay because he wanted to. She needed him to put the past to rest and choose to live.
Goddess be blessed, she was going to be a mother. A single mother.
She wrapped her arm over her belly. This changed everything. It was one thing to set herself up for the pain of him leaving, of maybe never holding him again or being able to look into his sea-green eyes. But she would be damned if her daughter would be raised without her father. Somehow, she needed to get him to see past all the guilt he carried and give him reasons to want to live.
From what Granny Nash said of Diamond Fjord, the settlement was beautiful, the community nice—maybe if he saw what he’d be missing, he could be swayed. Or maybe there was someone there who would know what to say, what to do for him.
Granny Nash was right—she’d never convince Griffin to stay with tears and nagging. She needed to smile. Flirt. Make Griffin see how much Asteria needed him.
How much she needed him.
Then she’d tell him how much his baby needed him.
Chapter 26
Diamond Fjord was breathtaking.
When they exited the forest and got their first look at Asteria’s inaugural settlement, Prudence said, “We’re home.”
Home? Their journey together was almost at an end. This might become her home, but he had to move on.
Their impending separation was killing him. But Prudence didn’t seem to mind. All day long she’d been smiling and flirting. He’d been thinking to stick around and make sure she got settled okay, but now . . . leaving her was hard enough. Seeing how much his leaving didn’t seem to bother her—that was downright painful.
He turned away from her bright smile and surveyed Diamond Fjord.
The city—settlement was much too primitive a word—nestled up to towering hills on two sides and an inlet of the Red Sea on the third. Thigh-high bluegrass covered the hills, swaying in the breeze, and the sun glinted off the red-tinged waters beyond where small fishing craft floated. Two- and three-story buildings clustered together at the water’s edge, sided in the opaque, gem-like bark that grew on Asteria’s trees and caused the buildings to sparkle in the late afternoon sun as if covered in diamonds. In the valley between where they stood and the town, small farms dotted the countryside—a patchwork of fields and fenced areas for livestock. From a distance, at least, Diamond Fjord appeared to be flourishing.
“Don’t be hasty, Angel. You know as well as I that the prettiest things can hide the darkest of secrets.”
Prudence sighed. “I’m not letting you ruin this for me. Diamond Fjord’s beautiful and the people here wanted no part of the Parnells or their dream. It’s why they were exiled. I have every right to assume we’ll be happy here.”
Ah, Christ, she kept saying “we.” Did she think he might stay? Was that why she acted so happy? The thought made the tightness in his chest ease, but was replaced with a knot in his gut at the idea of having to tell her he had to go. “I need you to exercise a little caution, is all. No need getting snippy.”
She leaned close and nipped the scruff on his chin. “You’ll know if I decide to get snippy, Warrior.” She took hold of his hand and pulled him forward. “Come on, if we hurry, we’ll get there before nightfall.” Turning, she walked backward and shot him a suggestive look. “I’m wanting a real bath and a bed tonight.” Her lavender eyes flashed with mischief. “Maybe I’ll even share.”
Christ, she was so damn beautiful it hurt to look at her. “Careful there, you’re gonna end up tumbling down the hill.”
With a laugh, she faced forward again. “That painting we saw last night, you’re brother painted it, didn’t he?”
Griffin picked up his pace so he could see her face. “Yeah, that was one of his.”
“He’s talented.”
“Yeah, he always was.” Unlike him, Lucan had always had a knack for making the world a little more beautiful just by being him.
She turned sideways to study him while they walked. “Is something bothering you, Griff? I thought you’d be happy know to know for sure he’s nearby.”
He forced a smile. “I guess I can’t get too excited until I lay eyes on him, you know? Maybe he’s moved on. Maybe something’s happened since then.”
“And maybe he’s right where Granny Nash said, in a little art studio on the waterfront.”
*****
Three hours later, Griffin needed all his energy just to sort out everything inside him. Sadness and fear about leaving Prudence, apprehension and guilt about taking so long finding Lucan, and a healthy dose of suspicion about the citizens of Diamond Fjord—all of it was making him jumpy as hell.
The city itself was indeed beautiful. Everybody bustled about, busy at one thing or another. Main Street was crowded. Shops lined the sidewalks, and hawker stalls lined the streets. A sort of peaceful chaos played out, with vendors and shoppers playing their parts. The whole place seemed crowded and noisy, but then, after being alone with Prudence for a week, anyplace with people felt that way. The scents of various cooked foods, flowers, and live animals hung in the air, adding to his sensory overload. Part of him wanted to find a quiet place to pull himself together, but a more urgent part needed to see his brother and reassure himself he was safe.
A hover car carrying two Blue Helmets edged through the crowd. The way the men scanned the citizens of Diamond Fjord, Griffin had no doubt they were searching for someone. The vehical had enough jump seats in the back for fourteen more men, and while all empty at the moment, he was sure if they saw something they didn’t like, more hover cars would arrive fully loaded. He gave Prudence’s hand a squeeze. “Keep your eyes down, Angel.”
As the hover car passed, he turned his back, pretending interest in a hawker stall full of live birds. He didn’t breathe easy until the craft disappeared from sight farther down the street.
A loud crack sounded behind them and Griffin spun around, weapon drawn. For a heartbeat or two he was back on Earth, herding a group of people toward a spaceport. Most of the men had already been shipped off by then, leaving women and children and they fought dirty as hell when they needed to.
“You okay, handsome?”
He blinked, trying to focus.
Prudence put her palm on his chest, crowding into him. “All the color dropped from your face.”
His attention shifted back to the perceived threat. A kid stared at him with wide eyes, an unused firecracker in his hand and another making sparks on the ground. Griffin returned his weapon to the small of his back with a shaky hand and wiped the sweat from his brow. He nodded, unable to meet her eyes.
Christ, he drew his weapon on a kid.
She smiled. “Why don’t we find someplace to sit so we can take everything in?”
He lifted his gaze to hers. He found no laughter or admonishment in her expression. Not even a flicker of fear. “I’m sorry.”
“There a reason you’re showing your weapon, mister?”
Griffin looked to his left, then his gaze crept up to the biggest man he’d ever seen. “Startled. That’s all.”
The man must be six-foot-seven or eight and pushing three-hundred pounds of pure muscle. He had his dark hair pulled back in a pony-tail. “Then maybe you shouldn’t be carrying.” He took Griffin’s measure through bright blue eyes that seemed to be lit from the inside.
Was he the lawman Big Jake mentioned—Merrick? Everything he wore was black from his boots, to his pants to the knee-length duster. “T
here a concealed carry law here?”
“New, huh?” He rocked back on his heels and his eyes narrowed. “You look familiar.”
Griffin glanced at Prudence, who kept her face downcast. “My friend and I are looking for one of my relations. We’re not here to start trouble.”
“Got separated during the Expulsion?”
He nodded. “I’m looking for an art studio called Visions from Home.”
The big man’s eyes widened. “No shit?”
“No shit.”
A smile tugged at his mouth and for a minute, he reminded Griffin of a little boy with a big secret. “Follow me.”
Griffin took Prudence’s hand in his and headed down the street. Even with the crowd swelling and receding around them, there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d lose sight of him, he stood a full head taller than anyone else.
Prudence glanced up. “You think we can trust him?”
“Don’t know. Keep your eyes open, Angel, and let me know if you see anything odd.”
They turned off Main Street onto the docks and were led into a store with an old-fashioned swinging sign out front that read: Visions of Home – Welcome
Griffin stepped inside the cramped shop which was full to bursting with paintings, sketches, and statues. They all held Lucan’s unique, precision touch. He’d made it. He’d found his brother.
“Hey, babe?”
Griffin’s attention zeroed in on the big man who’d brought them here. Babe?
He disappeared behind a piece of cloth pulled over a doorway.
Griffin followed.
Prudence tugged on his hand, trying to stop him. “Griff? Maybe we should give them some privacy and wait out here.”
Privacy? What the fuck did they need privacy for? He waved Prudence away and pulled back the curtain.
Lucan sat in front of a large canvas, paint bush in hand. It was him. He was alive. Whole. And if the smile he turned on the big guy was any clue, he was happy. The way he was positioned, he hadn’t noticed Griffin yet, which was fine, it gave him a moment to study Lucan. He looked older now, his shoulders a little broader. His blond hair was tousled and he wore jeans and a white tee that were both smattered with paint. Christ, he was a sight for sore eyes. All he wanted to do was wrap him in a big bear hug.
“Hey, babe. Someone’s here to see you.” The big guy put his hand on Lucan’s shoulder and bent over to kiss him.
For a heartbeat or two, Griffin couldn’t move, torn between walking out and beating the living shit out of the fucking giant touching his brother.
“Griffin, it’s all right.” Prudence put her arms around his waist.
Chapter 27
The two men in a lip-lock froze. Lucan spun around in his seat. “Griffin?”
A range of emotions ran across Lucan’s face—surprise, guilt, anger. His brother had never been good at hiding what was on his mind and he sure as hell didn’t look happy to see him. He didn’t look happy to see him, at all. Holy hell, why the hell did he come here? To disrupt his brother’s life? And now that he was here, looking at Lucan, he didn’t know what the fuck to say. Words wouldn’t make up for his not being there.
So he left.
Christ Almighty, what had he just seen? That was his brother. His brother. When the hell had this happened? With long, ground-eating strides he left the shop and headed down to the end of the dock away from the people, the noise, the . . . everything.
He couldn’t take any more.
He didn’t care who Lucan wanted to be with. He didn’t. But goddamn it, he hadn’t known and his ignorance of his own brother shamed him. He’d been tight with Lucan growing up, but after leaving for the Marines . . . After he’d been to war, it became more difficult to find common ground. Doing the things he’d done made it harder to look his brother in the eye, much less talk to him about anything important. This was just one more thing to add to his growing list of fuck-ups.
Christ, his hands shook and his heart pounded as hard as if he’d traded fire with the enemy.
“Griffin?”
“What?” His reply came out much louder than he intended. He dragged his hand down his face and turned around to face Lucan. “What?”
Lucan gave him a lopsided smile. “Good to see you, big brother.”
“Yeah.” Griffin ran his hand over his head and turned around to watch the waves roll past.
“You were best man at George and Jacob’s wedding. What’s got you so freaked out?”
That was Lucan, always going for the clean, logical answer. “I don’t know.”
“Look, I’m sorry I never told you—”
“Did Mom and Dad know?” He glanced at him over his shoulder.
“They raised us; of course they knew.”
The oddest bird—something that looked like a cross between a parrot and a pelican dove down into the water to fish, skimming its oversized beak through the red-tinged water. Damn, he missed familiar things. Everything was different here, even his brother. “Then why didn’t I?” Griffin turned around and folded his arms over his chest.
“By the time I was old enough to know, you were gone.” Lucan shrugged. “I never dated—didn’t meet anyone I liked until I met Merrick—not that you and I talked much anymore anyway.”
Now that he’d mentioned it, Griffin couldn’t remember ever seen Lucan with a special someone, never heard him talk about anyone he was courting. The thing killing him, though, was he had never thought to ask. He’d been too concerned with his own shit. Griffin looked over Lucan’s shoulder to where Prudence chatted with the big man who’d brought them here. “Merrick? That’s his name?” The son of a bitch was huge and Lucan was shorter than Griffin. He couldn’t quite see the two of them together. Lucan was fair-haired, well-built but almost petite compared to the rest of the men in the Payne family. And Merrick—he looked like he belonged in some seedy bar protecting someone with a name like Vinnie Two-toes.
“Yeah.” Lucan shoved his hands in his pockets. “So, I, uh . . . I saw the holograms of you.”
“Christ.” Griffin turned away, unable to meet his brother’s eyes. All the guilt he held onto for not being there when Lucan needed him bubbled up to lodge right in his goddamned throat. What the hell must he have thought about seeing him kill in cold blood? Griffin hated apologizing and he seemed to be saying sorry a lot lately. “I’m sorry as hell you got sent here, Lucan. The whole thing was my fault. And I hope . . . I hope I didn’t worry you, you know, when you saw what you saw.”
“Worry me?” Lucan’s voice edged up in volume. “I thought you were dead. I thought you died in the bombings. Next thing I know, I’m watching my brother assassinate the U.N. Prime minister. Then I’m watching your trial wondering what the fuck the Blue Helmets might be doing to you, because I sure as hell never knew you to hold your peace. Next I hear Genesis V is dead in space—no survivors, so for the second time I mourned losing you. Now you’re standing here in front of me, won’t even look at me, giving me some lame-ass lip service.”
For a second, Griffin thought he was walking away. Lucan paced down the boardwalk half a dozen feet, shouted, “Fuck,” and came back. “Seriously, this is how it’s going to be, now? This whole awkward ‘let’s-pretend-nothing-happened-and-move-on’ bullshit?”
“No.” Griffin pulled his brother into a hug and for a heartbeat, he thought Lucan would push him away. He sure as hell wouldn’t have blamed him. But just as he released Lucan, his brother’s arms wound around him and hugged him back. “It’s all right now.”
Lucan’s voice shook. “Why didn’t you write or call or anything? For two years I got nothing.”
Griffin stepped back, jammed his hands into his pockets and stared at the planks of the boardwalk. “They put the military on total blackout. No media, no communications, no leave.” He sighed, forcing himself to look at his brother. “I wanted to, Lucan. We didn’t know what the fuck was going on. I swear to you, I would’ve come home no matter what it took if I’d known.”
Lucan’s face eased a little. “And why didn’t you talk at the trial?”
Heat blossomed over Griffin’s cheeks. “I couldn’t. I underestimated them. Took ‘em at face value. I thought I’d be safe in prison during the trial, but they fucked me up.”
“How?”
Griffin rolled his eyes. “Come on.”
“I have a right to know. What’d they do, break your jaw?”
A sour burst of laughter broke past his lips. “Nah, man. They cinched my shit shut with barbwire. Stuck a piece through my tongue for good measure.”
“Shit.” Lucan propped his hands on his hips and looked out over the Red Sea.
Griffin looked away. Lucan was an innocent. He was so trusting he didn’t even question how a few barbed wires kept him from talking. That was good, though; he didn’t want to tell him that the Blue Helmets had taken their neighbor. He didn’t want to have to tell him he wasn’t sure what happened to the sweet lady who’d brought them food when he’d gone home to bury their parents.
“You’re done now, right? It’s finished.”
Griffin didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He wanted to reassure Lucan that everything would be fine now, but . . . .
“Jesus, you’re a bastard. Are you at least gonna come meet Merrick before you disappear again? He’s had to go through watching me morn your sorry ass twice now. He should at least get to meet you before the next time.”
His stomach roiled. Lucan had a special way of making him feel like shit. But his kid brother didn’t understand, couldn’t understand. Griffin had always taken care to protect Lucan from his life in the Marines. And you’ll continue to do so. Griffin’s gaze traveled back to where Merrick and Prudence sat. They were both staring back at them. “What is he to you? Boyfriend?”
“Husband.”
Griffin nodded. Husband. Okay, little brother was married. “He good to you?”
Lucan’s face eased into a smile. “Yeah. He is. You don’t have to worry about that.” He glanced over his shoulder. “What about your lady? She’s pretty.”
“Pr—” He paused. It’d be up to Prudence if she wanted to share her identity with Lucan. “Angel and I jumped ship together.”
The Last Marine Page 21