“Because I have lavender eyes.” She grinned. “Pink-eyed Lythonian women have sons. Are you disappointed?”
“Are you kidding? I’ll have two angels all to myself. I’ll be the happiest man on the planet.”
Epilogue
One month later
Griffin gripped his sidearm in both hands, studying the scene around him.
The compound. He stood in the compound, in the dining room where he’d almost lost Prudence. His heart picked up a beat. People crowded around the dining table, laughing and eating.
A loud pop echoed in his ears and he swung around, weapon raised and ready to find a waiter holding a foaming bottle of champagne.
Griffin let out a shaky breath. He hadn’t fired this time. He was getting better at this. The virtual reality simulator was meant to expose him to his triggers, loud noises, crowds, and stress to give him a chance to practice his self-control. To re-learn how to be a human being after being a soldier for so long.
The scene shifted. Now he stood in the town square. Blue Helmets mingled in with the citizens of Diamond Fjord. The noise from the hawkers, the crowd, and live animals was almost defending. Bodies pressed up against him as they brushed passed. He felt himself starting to unravel. He took a deep breath, hustling himself to the sidelines where he could press his back against the wall. Better. That was better. He did the breathing exercises Doc Lambert taught him, knowing he was watching.
His heart slowed.
The scene changed.
This was war. The air held the tinny quality of blood and too many photon blasts. Everything looked scorched, and soldiers battled around him. Rockets blasted past overhead. Explosions rocked the ground. Men shouted and screamed.
He knew it was a simulation. He knew it, but his body didn’t seem to care.
He lifted his weapon ready to fight.
The scene went blank.
“That’s enough for now, we’re almost out of time.”
Griffin pulled off the virtual reality headgear and stripped off the jumpsuit. He handed both, along with the Lockheed Martin replica, to Doc Lambert.
Christ, he was shaking. Sweaty. He inhaled a deep breath and stared at Doc Lambert.
He was nothing like Griffin had expected. He’d pictured some polished, refined male he’d have nothing in common with, someone who’d never understand. Instead, Lambert wore his status as an ex-soldier for everyone to see in the form of a prosthetic arm and leg. Burns covered most of the left side of his neck and face. Griffin had never dared to utter the words, “You don’t understand.” None of them did.
Doc Lambert folded his arms over his chest. “You’re doing better.”
“I didn’t shoot.” It was an accomplishment. First time in that damn simulator he’d taken out half the town.
The corner of the doc’s lips curved. “But you still need the security of that weapon in your hand.”
Griffin inhaled a deep breath. Yeah, he was doing better, but he wasn’t where he needed to be yet.
“You’re doing your affirmations every day?”
“Yeah.” As if Prudence, Merrick, and Lucan would let him get away with not doing them. Every time he started getting moody, the least bit argumentative, one of them would bring attention to Prudence’s belly. To his daughter. He would be better by the time his little girl arrived.
“Let me hear them.”
Griffin fidgeted. While he understood the theory behind affirmations, he felt like a complete idiot saying them. “I have control over myself, the sole thing in my control.”
“What else?”
“I can’t change the past or predict the future. I live in the now.” That one was important. He couldn’t change what he’d done, and if he allowed himself to think about it, he started slipping. If he stayed with the now, he could live with himself.
Lambert nodded. “One more.”
Griffin’s jaw clenched. His throat grew tight. He knew what the doc was after.
Doc Lambert nodded. “Take your time and breathe. I can wait.”
He could. But Prudence couldn’t. He was already late which meant she’d be getting worried. He inhaled a shaky breath. “I love myself.”
Doc Lambert lifted a brow.
Christ Almighty, he hated that expression. He cleared his throat and swiped at his eyes. “I love all of myself.”
Doc Lambert leaned his hip on his desk. “You even managed to hold my gaze that time. Maybe you’re starting to believe what you say.”
Griffin nodded. Maybe. It was getting easier to live in the now. Prudence, Lucan, and Merrick kept him busy. They’d not only accepted him as is, but they embraced him.
“So.” The Doc stared at him, bobbing his head up and down. “Will I be seeing you Tuesday?”
Griffin restrained the urge to roll his eyes. Today marked one month. He’d made no commitment to further therapy beyond that. But Tuesday was group session. Tuesdays reminded him he wasn’t alone in this. Merrick went. Grady went. Half the damn town showed up for group session. Big Jake even joined in once a month when he brought his brood to town.
And hell, Prudence made it worth his time, always praising and fawning. Besides, he made a promise to her last night. He sighed. “Four o’clock, right?”
Doc Lambert smiled. That was high praise from the doc. “And Thursday?”
“Yeah.” He pointed to the virtual reality device. “Haven’t quite mastered that yet.” He wanted to be able to walk through the town square with Prudence without having an attack. He wanted to be able to take her out to eat or go see a show. He couldn’t do that unless he mastered that damn thing. Until his screwed up head figured out the difference between a real threat, and the unexpected noises that went with living.
Doc Lambert’s eyes twinkled, but he kept his expression blank. “Two o’clock, again?”
Griffin nodded and stood. “You coming?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. Go on, I’ll be right behind you.”
Griffin strode out of Dr. Lambert’s office and into the bright morning sunlight, adjusting his tie. The whole town was quiet. The shops were closed up tight and the shades were drawn on most of the residential windows above the storefronts.
Lucan and Merrick waited alone on the deserted street. Lucan opened his arms wide. “What are you doing? We’re late.”
Griffin shrugged. “Had to set my next appointment.” He strode past his brother and his husband and headed up the street.
Merrick matched his stride. “So, you’re gonna keep going?”
He almost growled. They were always nagging and checking up on him. If it didn’t feel so damned good to have people give a shit, he might have to do something about it. “Yeah.” He kept his eyes forward, trying to ignore their grins.
Lucan elbowed him. “Does Pru know?”
“Of course she does.” At the end of the street, he turned left—military left—and headed for the church. Tendrils of apprehension wound tight in his gut. He still couldn’t believe his good fortune.
Today, he was going to make Prudence his.
“I still think you cheated,” Merrick said. “You weren’t supposed to make any decisions until after one month.”
“I didn’t. I asked her to wait.”
“Yet here we are, walking up to a church.” Merrick shook his head. “A wedding takes planning, Griff.”
“I haven’t asked yet.”
Merrick snorted.
“In his defense, Prudence and I took care of the planning. She didn’t want to give him too much time to sweat over the whole thing.” Lucan glanced at Griffin and laughed. “Look at you. You can’t tell me you’re worried she’ll say no?”
No, he wasn’t worried about that. Not anymore. Prudence was a sweet, loving woman who told him in a thousand ways every day how much she cared. He was worried this wouldn’t be everything she deserved. He was worried he wouldn’t be able to make today as memorable as he wanted it to be for her.
They reached the doors of the church
and Lucan clapped his hand on Griffin’s shoulder. “For God’s sake, breathe, man.”
Merrick chuckled. “Don’t mind him. He might act calm now, but you should’ve seen him the day we got married. He looked greener than you do.”
“I wanted it to be perfect,” Lucan said at the same time Griffin said, “I want it to be perfect.”
“Perfect is overrated.” Merrick shook his head. “You be yourself and you’ll be fine.”
His brother and brother-in-law opened the doors wide and for a split second, he thought he might pass out. His attention skipped over the citizens of Diamond Fjord crowded into the pews and zeroed in at the end of the long aisle on Prudence. Christ, he was gonna have all those people at his back.
Lucan leaned in and whispered, “We’re right behind you, Griffin.”
Prudence caught sight of him and grinned. He could do this.
“Isn’t this a little backward,” Merrick whispered. “The bride should walk up the—”
Lucan wacked him on the chest. “Shush.”
Griffin shrugged. “I’m late.” He strode down the aisle, Lucan and Merrick hot on his heels and for a second, his mind flashed back to the first time he walked down an aisle through a crowd toward her. A lot had changed since then. They were both different people now.
She smoothed her hands down the pale lavender gown she wore, the color lighting up those gorgeous lavender eyes of hers.
He didn’t stop when he reached the bottom of the steps leading to the altar like the others did. “I’ve got a question I need to ask you, Angel.” His voice didn’t carry far, but Prudence heard him, and that’s all that mattered.
She was wringing the flowers right off her bouquet. “I thought maybe you changed your mind.”
Griffin shook his head as reached the top of the stage. The noise from the onlookers quieted as those in the audience tried to hear. “I’m, uh, not a rich man, but see, I’ve got this plan.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re plans scare me, Warrior.”
He grinned. “I’m opening a survival training studio next week.”
She winked. “Something tells me people will be coming from miles around to train with you.”
“I might already be scheduled out through next year. And I have a little side gig helping Merrick out.” He shrugged. “But I don’t have a big, beautiful house.”
“Hm. I bet you’ve got a nice little add-on attached to your brother’s place. Sounds like the perfect home to raise a daughter, surrounded by family and love.”
He chuckled. “Smart-ass.”
“I’m trying to help things along, I’m running out of bouquet.” She lifted the sad little posey for his inspection. “Griffin Jude Payne, did you have a question or not?”
He drew her into his arms, his heart near to bursting from all the happiness swelling in his chest. “All I can guarantee you is that I’ll love you to my dying breath the way no one else ever could. So, knowing all that, Prudence Angelica Parnell, will you marry me?”
“Why yes, Griffin Jude Payne, I will.”
Acknowledgments
While writing a book tends to be a solidary experience, a multitude of people are needed to see the project in print. I’d like to thank my critique partners, Marissa John and Aedyn Brooks. My family and friends editors Jean & Yelena. My copy editor, Dorrie O’Brien. And the amazing ladies at Killion Group, Inc. for my cover art and formatting.
About the Author
Cara Crescent currently lives in the Pacific Northwest with her children and three overly dramatic ferrets. When not writing, you can usually find her curled up with a book, engrossed in a movie or playing video games with her best friend.
Please visit her on the web at www.caracrescent.com
Copyright © 2015 Cara Crescent
Published by Cara Crescent Books, LLC.
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