‘Then, I may go now?’
Yes, the order was there - she might go, and Mr Johnson would accompany her, to see that she met with no difficulty or obstacle.
As they walked thither, he told her that someone - a turnkey, or someone - would have to be present at the interview. that such was always the rule in the case of condemned prisoners; but that if this third person was ‘obliging,’ he would keep out of earshot. Mr Johnson quietly took care to see that the turnkey who accompanied Ellinor was ‘obliging.’
The man took her across high-walled courts, along stone corridors, and through many locked doors, before they came to the condemned cells.
‘I’ve had three at a time in here,’ said he, unlocking the final door, ‘after judge Morton had been here. We always called him the “Hanging judge.” But it’s five years since he died, and now there’s never more than one in at a time; though once it was a woman for poisoning her husband. Mary Jones was her name.’
The stone passage out of which the cells opened was light, and bare, and scrupulously clean. Over each door was a small barred window, and an outer window of the same description was placed high up in the cell, which the turnkey now opened.
Old Abraham Dixon was sitting on the side of his bed, doing nothing. His head was bent, his frame sunk, and he did not seem to care to turn round and see who it was that entered.
Ellinor tried to keep down her sobs while the man went up to him, and laying his hand on his shoulder, and lightly shaking him, he said:
‘Here’s a friend come to see you, Dixon.’ Then, turning to Ellinor, he added, ‘There’s some as takes it in this kind o’ stunned way, while others are as restless as a wild beast in a cage, after they’re sentenced.’ And then he withdrew into the passage, leaving the door open, so that he could see all that passed if he chose to look, but ostentatiously keeping his eyes averted, and whistling to himself, so that he could not hear what they said to each other.
Dixon looked up at Ellinor, but then let his eyes fall on the ground again; the increasing trembling of his shrunk frame was the only sign he gave that he had recognized her.
She sat down by him, and took his large horny hand in hers. She wanted to overcome her inclination to sob hysterically before she spoke. She stroked the bony shrivelled fingers, on which her hot scalding tears kept dropping.
‘Dunnot do that,’ said he, at length, in a hollow voice. ‘Dunnot take on about it; it’s best as it is, missy.’
‘No, Dixon, it’s not best. It shall not be. You know it shall not - cannot be.’
‘I’m rather tired of living. It’s been a great strain and labour for me. I think I’d as lief be with God as with men. And you see, I were fond on him ever sin’ he were a little lad, and told me what hard times he had at school, he did, just as if I were his brother! I loved him next to Molly Greaves. Dear! and I shall see her again, I reckon, come next Saturday week! They’ll think well on me, up there, I’ll be bound; though I cannot say as I’ve done all as I should do here below.’
‘But Dixon,’ said Ellinor, ‘you know who did this - this --’
‘Guilty o’ murder,’ said he. ‘That’s what they called it. Murder. And that it never were, choose who did it.’
‘My poor, poor father did it. I am going up to London this afternoon; I am going to see the judge, and tell him all.’
‘Don’t you demean yourself to that fellow, missy. It’s him as left you in the lurch as soon as sorrow and shame came nigh you.
He looked up at her now, for the first time; but she went on as if she had not noticed those wistful, weary eyes.
‘Yes! I shall go to him. I know who it is; and I am resolved. After all, he may be better than a stranger, for real help; and I shall never remember any - anything else, when I think of you, good faithful friend.’
‘He looks but a wizened old fellow in his grey wig. I should hardly ha’ known him. I gave him a look, as much as to say, “I could tell tales o’ you, my lord judge, if I chose.” I don’t know if he heeded me, though. I suppose it were for a sign of old acquaintance that he said he’d recommend me to mercy. But I’d sooner have death nor mercy, by long odds. Yon man out there says mercy means Botany Bay. It ‘ud be like killing me by inches, that would. It would. I’d liefer go straight to Heaven, than live on, among the black folk.’
He began to shake again: this idea of transportation, from its very mysteriousness, was more terrifying to him than death. He kept on saying plaintively, ‘Missy, you’ll never let ‘em send me to Botany Bay; I couldn’t stand chat.’
‘No, no!’ said she. ‘You shall come out of this prison, and go home with me to East Chester.’ I promise you, you shall. I promise you. I don’t yet quite know how, but trust in my promise. Don’t fret about Botany Bay. If you go there, I go too. I am so sure you will not go. And you know if you have done anything against the law in concealing that fatal night’s work, I did too, and if you are to be punished, I will be punished too. But I feel sure it will be right; I mean, as right as anything can be, with the recollection of that time present to us, as it must always be.’ She almost spoke these last words to herself. They sat on, hand in hand, for a few minutes more in silence.
‘I thought you’d come to me. I knowed you were far away in foreign parts. But I used to pray to God. “Dear Lord God!” I used to say, “let me see her again.” I told the chaplain as I’d begin to pray for repentance, at after I’d done praying that I might see you once again: for it just seemed to take all my strength to say those words as I’ve named. And I thought as how God knew what was in my heart better than I could tell Him. How I was main and sorry for all as I’d ever done wrong; I allays were, at after it was done; but I thought as no one could know how bitter-keen I wanted to see you.’
Again they sank into silence. Ellinor felt as if she would fain be away and active in procuring his release; but she also perceived how precious her presence was to him; and she did not like to leave him a moment before the time allowed her. His voice had changed to a weak piping old man’s quaver, and between the times of his talking he seemed to relapse into a dreamy state; but through it all he held her hand tight, as though afraid that she would leave him.
So the hour elapsed, with no more spoken words than those above. From time to time Ellinor’s tears dropped down upon her lap; she could not restrain them, though she scarce knew why she cried just then.
At length the turnkey said that the time allowed for the interview was ended. Ellinor spoke no word; but rose, and bent down and kissed the old man’s forehead, saying,
‘I shall come back tomorrow. God keep and comfort you.’
So, almost without an articulate word from him in reply (he rose up, and stood on his shaking legs, as she bade him farewell, putting his hand to his head with the old habitual mark of respect), she went her way, swiftly out of the prison, swiftly back with Mr Johnson to his house, scarcely patient or strong enough in her hurry to explain to him fully all that she meant to do. She only asked him a few absolutely requisite questions; and informed him of her intention to go straight to London to see judge Corbet.
Just before the railway carriage in which she was seated started on the journey, she bent forward and put out her hand once more to Mr Johnson. ‘Tomorrow I will thank you for all,’ she said. ‘I cannot now.’
It was about the same time that she had reached Hellingford on the previous night, that she arrived at the Great Western station on this evening - past eight o’clock. On the way she had remembered and arranged many things: one important question she had omitted to ask Mr Johnson; but that was easily remedied. She had not inquired where she could find judge Corbet; if she had, Mr Johnson could probably have given her his professional address. As it was, she asked for a Post-Office Directory at the hotel, and looked out for his private dwelling - 128, Hyde Park Gardens.
She rang for a waiter.
‘Can I send a messenger to Hyde Park Gardens,’ she said, hurrying on to her business, tired and worn-out as
she was. ‘It is only to ask if judge Corbet is at home this evening. If he is, I must go and see him.’
The waiter was a little surprised, and would gladly have had her name to authorize the inquiry; but she could not bear to send it; it would be bad enough that first meeting, without the feeling that he, too, had had time to recall all the past days. Better to go in upon him unprepared, and plunge into the subject.
The waiter returned with the answer while she yet was pacing up and down the room restlessly, nerving herself for the interview.
‘The messenger has been to Hyde Park Gardens, ma’am. The Judge and Lady Corbet are gone out to dinner.’
Lady Corbet! Of course Ellinor knew that he was married. Had she not been present at the wedding in East Chester Cathedral; but, somehow, these recent events had so carried her back to old times, that the intimate association of the names, ‘the judge and Lady Corbet,’ seemed to awaken her out of some dream.
‘Oh, very well,’ she said, just as if these thoughts were not passing rapidly through her mind. ‘Let me be called at seven tomorrow morning, and let me have a cab at the door to Hyde Park Gardens at eight.’
And so she went to bed; but scarcely to sleep. All night long she had the scenes of those old times, the happy, happy days of her youth, the one terrible night that cut all happiness short, present before her. She could almost have fancied that she heard the long-silent sounds of her father’s step, her father’s way of breathing, the rustle of his newspaper as he hastily turned it over, coming through the lapse of years; the silence of the night. She knew that she had the little writing-case of her girlhood with her, in her box. The treasures of the dead that it contained, the morsel of dainty sewing, the little sister’s golden curl, the half-finished letter to Mr Corbet, were all there. She took them out, and looked at each separately; looked at them long - long and wistfully. ‘Will it be of any use to me?’ she questioned of herself, as she was about to put her father’s letter back into its receptacle. She read the last words over again, once more: ‘From my death-bed I adjure you to stand her friend; I will beg pardon on my knees for anything.’
‘I will take it,’ thought she. ‘I need not bring it out; most likely there will be no need for it, after what I shall have to say. All is so altered, so changed between us, as utterly as if it never had been, that I think I shall have no shame in showing it him for my own part of it. While, if he sees poor papa’s, dear, dear papa’s suffering humility, it may make him think more gently of one who loved him once, though they parted in wrath with each other, I’m afraid.’
So she took the letter with her when she drove to Hyde Park Gardens.
Every nerve in her body was in such a high state of tension that she could have screamed out at the cabman’s boisterous knock at the door. She got out hastily, before anyone was ready or willing to answer such an untimely summons.’ paid the man double what he ought to have had; and stood there, sick, trembling, and humble.
CHAPTER XVI AND LAST
‘Is judge Corbet at home? Can I see him?’ she asked of the footman, who at length answered the door.
He looked at her curiously, and a little familiarly, before he replied,
‘Why, yes! He’s pretty sure to be at home at this time of day; but whether he’ll see you is quite another thing.’
‘Would you be so good as to ask him? It is on very particular business.’
‘Can you give me a card? your name, perhaps, will do, if you have not a card. I say, Simmons’ (to a lady’s-maid crossing the hall), ‘is the judge up yet?’
‘Oh, yes! he’s in his dressing-room this half-hour. My lady is coming down directly. It is just breakfast time.’
‘Can’t you put it off, and come again, a little later?’ said he, turning once more to Ellinor - white Ellinor! trembling Ellinor!
‘No! please let me come in. I will wait. I am sure judge Corbet will see me, if you will tell him I am here. Miss Wilkins. He will know the name.’
‘Well, then; will you wait here till I have got breakfast in?’ said the man, letting her into the hall, and pointing to the bench there. He took her, from her dress, to be a lady’s-maid or governess, or at most a tradesman’s daughter; and besides, he was behindhand with all his preparations. She came in and sat down.
‘You will tell him I am here,’ she said, faintly.
‘Oh, yes, never fear: I’ll send up word, though I don’t believe he’ll come to you before breakfast.’
He told a page, who ran upstairs, and, knocking at the judge’s door, said that a Miss Jenkins wanted to speak to him.
‘Who?’ asked the judge from the inside.
‘Miss Jenkins. She said you would know the name, sir.’
‘Not I. Tell her to wait.’
So Ellinor waited. Presently down the stairs, with slow deliberate dignity, came the handsome Lady Corbet, in her rustling silks and ample petticoats, carrying her fine boy, and followed by her majestic nurse. She was ill-pleased that anyone should come and take up her husband’s time when he was at home, and supposed to be enjoying domestic leisure; and her imperious, inconsiderate nature did not prompt her to any civility towards the gentle creature sitting down weary and heart-sick in her house. On the contrary, she looked her over as she slowly descended, till Ellinor shrank abashed from the steady gaze of the large black eyes. Then she, her baby and nurse, disappeared into the large dining-room, into which all the preparations for breakfast had been carried.
The next person to come down would be the judge. Ellinor instinctively put down her veil. She heard his quick decided step; she had known it well of old.
He gave one of his sharp, shrewd glances at the person sitting in the hall and waiting to speak to him, and his practised eye recognized the lady at once, in spite of her travel-worn dress.
‘Will you just come into this room,’ said he, opening the door of his study, to the front of the house: the dining-room was to the back; they communicated by folding-doors.
The astute lawyer placed himself with his back to the window; it was the natural position of the master of the apartment; but it also gave him the advantage of seeing his companion’s face in full light. Ellinor lifted her veil; it had only been a dislike to a recognition in the hall, which had made her put it down.
Judge Corbet’s countenance changed more than hers; she had been prepared for the interview; he was not. But he usually had the full command of the expression on his face.
‘Ellinor! Miss Wilkins! is it you?’ And he went forwards, holding out his hand with cordial greeting, under which the embarrassment, if he felt any, was carefully concealed. She could not speak all at once in the way she wished.
‘That stupid Henry told me Jenkins! I beg your pardon. How could they put you down to sit in the hall? You must come in and have some breakfast with us; Lady Corbet will be delighted, I’m sure.’ His sense of the awkwardness of the meeting with the woman who was once to have been his wife, and of the probable introduction which was to follow to the woman who was his actual wife, grew upon him, and made him speak a little hurriedly. Ellinor’s next words were a wonderful relief; and her soft, gentle way of speaking was like the touch of a cooling balsam.
‘Thank you, you must excuse me. I am come strictly on business, otherwise I should never have thought of calling on you at such an hour. It is about poor Dixon.’
‘Ah! I thought as much!’ said the judge, handing her a chair, and sitting down himself. He tried to compose his mind to business, but, in spite of his strength of character, and his present efforts, the remembrance of old times would come back at the sound of her voice. He wondered if he was as much changed in appearance as she struck him as being in that first look of recognition; after that first glance he rather avoided meeting her eyes.
‘I knew how much you would feel it. Someone at Hellingford told me you were abroad, in Rome, I think. But you must not distress yourself unnecessarily; the sentence is sure to be commuted to transportation, or something equivalent. I was talking
to the Home Secretary about it only last night. Lapse of time and subsequent good character quite preclude any idea of capital punishment.’ All the time that he said this he had other thoughts at the back of his mind - some curiosity, a little regret, a touch of remorse, a wonder how the meeting (which, of course, would have to be some time) between Lady Corbet and Ellinor would go off, but he spoke clearly enough on the subject in hand, and no outward mark of distraction from it appeared.
Ellinor answered:
‘I came to tell you, what I suppose may be told to any judge, in confidence and full reliance on his secrecy, that Abraham Dixon was not the murderer.’ She stopped short, and choked a little.
The judge looked sharply at her.
‘Then you know who was?’ said he.
‘Yes,’ she replied, with a low, steady voice, looking him full in the face, with sad, solemn eyes.
The truth flashed into his mind. He shaded his face, and did not speak for a minute or two. Then he said, not looking up, a little hoarsely, ‘This, then, was the shame you told me of long ago?’
‘Yes,’ said she.
Both sat quite still; quite silent for some time. Through the silence a sharp, clear voice was heard speaking through the folding-doors.
‘Take the kedgeree down, and tell the cook to keep it hot for the judge. It is so tiresome people coming on business here, as if the judge had not his proper hours for being at chambers.’
He got up hastily, and went into the dining-room; but he had audibly some difficulty in curbing his wife’s irritation.
When he came back, Ellinor said:
‘I am afraid I ought not to have come here, now.’
‘Oh! it’s all nonsense!’ said he, in a tone of annoyance. ‘You’ve done quite right.’ He seated himself where he had been before; and again half-covered his face with his hand.
‘And Dixon knew of this. I believe I must put the fact plainly to you - your father was the guilty person? He murdered Dunster?’
Delphi Complete Works of Elizabeth Gaskell Page 378