by Jody Holford
“First, I shared my financials for a reason. I’m serious.”
She glanced up at him through heavy-lidded eyes. Probably tired, but she looked sexy as fuck. “Serious about what? You want a piece of a sinking ship, Zach?”
Damn right he did. “Yup.”
She rolled her eyes. “Tell me your ideas. The ones that don’t involve your money first.”
Every tiny step forward with her felt like crossing a marathon finish line. “You have no online presence.”
Stella’s brows scrunched together. “Me, or the clinic? I’m on Facebook,” she said, almost defensively.
He chuckled. Not exactly what he was talking about, but it wouldn’t hurt. “I know. I sent you a friend request,” Zach said, his lips quirking. “But I meant the clinic. You need a website more than anything, and a Facebook page would help. Just because you’re the only vet in town and people are used to your presence doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do some advertising. Brockton Point is growing, new people are moving in all the time. You need to be part of the community, maybe organize some events to raise money for animal-related causes.”
“That just sounds like more work, not ideas for lessening the load.”
He finished up the final prep for dinner and when they’d sat down, he dove into both the food and what he’d been thinking since he showed up less than a week earlier. “I have an idea for C.C.”
Stella paused, her bite of steak halfway to her mouth. “What does Chocolate Chip have to do with anything?”
She said she didn’t want help, but curiosity shone from her eyes. He could see the soft spot for her horse shimmering in her gaze. They had that in common, too. Good thing he wasn’t making a list of ways he and Stella were compatible. He had a feeling it would get lengthy.
Zach grinned. “I think she’s lonely. That’s my best guess and seeing if I’m right by adding a few more horses to the stable is a hell of a lot less invasive than checking for an ulcer.”
Chewing her bite of steak, her brows drew together. “I don’t exactly have the money to buy a few horses. That’s care, grooming, cost of feeding them. And that’s just to start. Plus, time I don’t have.”
He hadn’t been sure, until this moment, if she was just being stubborn about the land and what she had around her or she truly didn’t know how to utilize it.
“You won’t need it. You rent out the stables. You hire a part timer to clean the stalls and do the grooming. Plus, you have Dexter. Rent out a few stables, C.C. has friends, and you’re making money.”
She sat forward. Her mouth opened and closed and Zach bit down on a bite of potato so he didn’t grin like an idiot. Oh yeah, she needed his help.
“That is a really good idea. I honestly don’t know why I haven’t thought about it.” She picked up another bite of steak and pointed her fork at him. “This is delicious, by the way.”
Zach took a sip of the red she’d poured them. “Thanks. And I’d say you haven’t had time to think about much more than getting through each day.”
He knew those feelings all too well. One foot in front of the other until he got where he wanted to go.
“You’d be right.” She ate in silence for a few minutes and Zach tried not to stare at her, but he couldn’t help it. From the moment he’d met her, she’d been on the go and full of stress. Right now, in the quiet of her kitchen, sharing a meal with her dogs snoring by the back door, she looked almost settled. Nearly relaxed. And there was something inside of him, a longing that he’d buried deep, that ached to be the reason for that shift.
“What else? Since you’ve clearly given this some thought, what other ideas do you have?”
Cutting another piece of his steak, he asked, “What’s it going to take, Doc? How do I get you to realize that taking a chance on me will be worth it?”
She sighed. “I’m not great at taking chances. I tend to end up on the losing end.”
Zach gestured to the pile of papers. “That’s only getting bigger, isn’t it? At this point, what do you have to lose?”
She set her fork down. Stella stared down at the papers for so long he wasn’t sure she’d answer him. Then her gaze lifted and with a sadness that turned his stomach, she said, “At this point? Everything.”
Chapter Nine
What the hell was she doing? The food she’d truly enjoyed swirled around in her stomach. She’d already said too much, opened up enough for him to wedge his way in, and he didn’t even know it. Getting a reprieve today, shopping with girlfriends like a normal freaking person, and sitting down to a real meal with good wine was tearing at all her seams. God, she was tired of fighting through every minute. Since her father’s death—hell, before then—she’d been trying to get through, keep up, and not fall apart. And here was this man, this gorgeous, funny, solid man offering her so much and she couldn’t even figure out why.
She knew better than to trust the desire to lean on him, take what he was offering. She’d let herself lean on Steven, let herself believe he wanted to marry her because she’d paid attention to words, not actions. In truth, he’d only asked her because he wanted her to stay in Boston and help run the clinic he was part of. He’d never intended to marry her, but she’d trusted him. Given him her heart. This isn’t your heart. It’s your business and you are hovering only inches above rock bottom. Stella didn’t know if she could take another blow like she had. If she could reach for another faulty life line and survive the fall.
Zach was easy to talk to, maybe because he didn’t know much about her, or maybe because his outside perspective wasn’t based on what he thought he knew about her. Hell, maybe because she’d had a glass of wine before he arrived. Whatever the case, she was at the point that she really was going to lose everything if she didn’t try something new. His rent would give her a little break, but it hardly covered everything. The bank had turned her down flat and she’d rather borrow from a stranger than grovel to Lydia. So, she dove. Head first and hoped like hell she didn’t land on concrete. He wanted to know? Fine. The only place to go after rock bottom is up.
“I need to come up with a balloon payment for a loan my father took against the house.”
There. Just saying it lightened her shoulders. She hated the anger that simmered below the surface that her father had let things get so bad and not reached out. Just like you’ve been doing.
“Shit. He really left you with a lot.”
She nodded, staring at her fingers on the table so she could avoid Zach’s gaze. Why the hell was she embarrassed? It wasn’t her fault she’d inherited debt. Stella lifted her head, held her chin high, and met his gaze. Standing, she gathered their plates and took them to the sink. Had she truly thought he’d have an answer? There were no answers. Though his idea for Chocolate Chip was a great one. She should have considered it before.
Turning, she pulled in a sharp gasp. He was right there, standing in front of her, looking at her like he cared. Like he wanted to help and whether it was the wine, the company, or just sheer exhaustion, she had to fight the urge to physically lean on him.
“I can help cover the balloon payment.”
Her gaze shot up. “What?”
“Let me in, Stella. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“Why? Why do you want this so badly?” Her heart raced, and she gripped the counter behind her, feeling like it was safer to lean on that rather than him.
His expression changed, and she knew—she could see—that he understood his answer mattered. Zach held her gaze, making it feel like, with just a look, he was drawing her into a hug. He looked at her like he was someone she could rely on—as though he wanted to be there for her. She didn’t want to like the feeling. Other than Megan, she hadn’t leaned on anyone in a long time and even then, she didn’t unload even a tenth of the stress she so often felt. Keeping it to herself, relying on herself, was part of her self-preservation.
“I came in one time after…well, let’s just say I’d been messed up a little by some j
erks I went to school with. Instead of heading home, I came to see if your dad needed any help with chores. I’d followed a stray dog a long while before that, through the woods at the edge of your land. I met your dad and he said I could drop by anytime. Sometimes I came with my best friend, Travis. Lots of times, I just came here when I needed somewhere to be.” Zach paused.
The edges of Stella’s brain shadowed with memory. Hmm. Her dad had a good amount of high school kids who’d drop in and do chores for extra cash. Back when he’d had some, obviously, because he hadn’t left her enough to farm out any of the little jobs needing to be done. She didn’t remember Travis exactly, but she could see that he meant a great deal to Zach. And clearly, so had Stella’s father.
Zach huffed out a breath, moved across the kitchen to the back door, and stared out the window beside it.
“He took one look at me and knew not to ask any questions. Instead, he cleaned me up, put me to work stocking supplies. When I finished that, he got me to change all the cages, giving them fresh water and blankets straight out of the dryer.”
The tight set of his shoulders was new. He always seemed so confident and relaxed. At ease. This side of Zach, the one lost in thought, tugged at something inside of Stella. It made her want to do more than accept comfort; she wanted to give it. She could see her dad giving Zach work to busy himself. That had always been his own way of coping. Plus, he’d never stand for a kid being hurt. Anything or anyone, really. He was the ultimate champion of underdogs.
“Did you…get hurt often?”
Zach glanced her way, then looked down at his hands. “Not really. Most of the time it was just verbal.”
“Was it always the same kids?”
He looked up. “Not really the point here, Doc. The point is, when I needed a place to be, he gave me one.”
She imagined it was never easy for him to seek refuge and knew her father would have made that easier on a young, powerless boy. She also recognized from his tone that he didn’t want to discuss that part of his life. Which is good because you two don’t need each other’s life stories.
Zach took another deep breath, like he needed to steady himself. “We sat on the back steps of the clinic at the end of the day, and he told me strength wasn’t about how hard a man could punch or the words he could throw, but whether or not he got back up once he’d been kicked down.”
Stella’s eyes burned. “How old were you?”
Giving a short, humorless laugh, he replied, “Fourteen. Too young to realize he was right.”
A sad smile tilted her lips. “He did have an annoying habit of being right about a lot of things. I would have been ten. I don’t remember you. At least, I don’t think I do.”
He set that heated, somewhat gloomy gaze on her again and Stella felt like she’d been prodded with electricity. “I’d seen you around. Playing with the dogs or with dolls on the porch.”
Faded memories had her smiling. “I only play with the dogs now.”
It seemed like he leaned in closer, but he hadn’t even moved. The air left her lungs and the room at the same time when his gaze wandered over her body before moving back to her face.
“You’re definitely all grown up. He’d be proud as hell of you.”
Deep down, she knew that. But on the surface, the part of her that was barely treading water, the piece of her sinking under, she felt like a failure. She’d wanted to do this together. We were supposed to do it together, Dad. She’d wasted months of her life trying to convince her fiancé to come home with her so they could start their lives together. Where she’d grown up. Where her dad lived.
“He was a good man.”
Needing the space, she went back to the table and grabbed her wine. The dogs whimpered, and Zach opened the door for them. He gestured to the porch with his chin and she brought his wine outside, too, handing it to him.
The cool breeze of the evening wafted around her and made it easier to breathe. Crickets chirped in the twilight while the dogs gave happy yips and chased each other around. Stella leaned against the door jamb, wondering what kind of changes Zach was thinking. Looking up at the sky, her heart pinched again, thinking about how many changes she’d already endured. Stella had never been one to fight progress or shy away from shaking things up. But so much at once—
“He wouldn’t want you to feel buried like this.” Zach’s voice was soft, like a caress.
Tears threatened, making her feel weak. “Then he shouldn’t have left everything such a goddamn mess.”
Zach moved to stand in front of her and took the wine from her hand. He set both his and hers on the little table she had there.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since I met you,” he said.
Stella’s breath caught, and she looked up at him, the heat in his eyes so intense, she couldn’t force the air out of her lungs. Surprise and disappointment warred with each other when he yanked her against him and wrapped his arms—those large, strong, gorgeously tattooed arms—around her and held tight.
When her breath finally expelled, it felt more like a sob, and though she’d regret it later—most likely—she leaned on him, into him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She nearly lost the battle against tears when his hand came to the back of her head and stroked over her hair in a move so sweet and so gentle it both broke and healed something inside of her.
They stood there, him holding her, and her letting him, for longer than she should have allowed. When he finally pulled back, looking down at her with a tenderness that made her heart swell, she tried to laugh it off.
“Totally not what I expected you to do,” she whispered.
Zach stepped back, but the heat hadn’t left his gaze. “You needed that more than being kissed senseless. Besides, that’s not what I’m after. That’s not why I came here or why I keep coming back. I’m not looking for a lover, Stella, especially not one that I want to enter a business relationship with. I want to work with you. I want to be part of what your father built, part of what you’re trying to keep going. And I could help. It doesn’t make you weak to accept help.”
She sighed, hating that she felt the loss of his body heat—of his body—surrounding her own. Giving herself a minute to gather her thoughts and catch her breath, she was thankful for the little bit of physical space.
“I can’t pay you. Whatever money I get goes back into the clinic. At the moment, I’m barely staying afloat, so you should know, right off, if you truly want in, you’re asking permission to board a sinking ship.”
Zach’s eyes lit fire, making Stella’s belly do the same. “I’m a great swimmer. And I guarantee you that I can help plug the leak. Give me the chance.”
“If I give you some of my patients in exchange for help with the…balloon payment…and you take on all new patients, with me taking a commission, it might work.”
She was thinking off the top of her head now. She’d agreed to open her house to him, but this…giving up a piece of what her father had worked so hard to build, felt harder. If you want any chance of saving his legacy and making this work, you need to do something. Zach is offering you several somethings. She thought of Megan and how she believed things worked out as they were meant to. If Stella let herself believe in signs or fate or karma for just a second, she could admit that Zach’s timing in her life couldn’t be better.
She didn’t need to tell him that some of those clients paid in casseroles, since she planned on him putting a stop to that. He looked like he had way more backbone than she did.
Zach kept staring at her, and even though she felt nerves tickling her spine, she didn’t avert her gaze. Nerves were preferable to attraction. Because he was right—if they worked together, even if she was entertaining the notion for the short term—it wasn’t smart.
“Buy in makes me a partner,” he said, picking up his wine.
Her heart spasmed just from the word. She hated that word. It suggested she rely on someone else…for good. “No. You’d be a…colleague. A sec
ond doctor at my practice. Something like a shareholder. Like…I own the salon and you rent a chair from me,” she replied.
Zach’s brow arched, and his lips quirked up in a sexy smirk. “We’re not hairdressers.”
She thought it was a good analogy. They worked together but she was the boss. “Of course not, but it’s a similar idea.”
See what happens when you let someone in? He wants a bigger piece of…of what, Stella? Of the debt? He’s offering you a hand to pull you out of the goddamn quicksand you’re slipping into. Let him. You get the better end of this deal.
Zach closed the space between them, leaving her just enough room that she could breathe. “I give you enough to make a dent in the balloon payment, we do a trial basis, then you make me partner. I want a say in helping you turn this place around. And I want it on paper that I get a say. During that trial, you let me explore the options I think will improve things financially.”
She started to balk, and he raised a hand. “With your approval.”
Trial basis sounded more doable than partner. Only one of those words shot fear into her heart. Only one of those opened her up to being hurt or left behind.
“If this doesn’t work, any of it, you walk away without issue or reimbursement.”
He stared at her, and for a second she wondered if he could see her heart trying to beat out of her body through several different pulse points.
“No.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What?”
Now he did invade her personal space, and only part of her felt annoyed by it. The other part of her felt…the opposite of annoyed, especially with the memory of how it felt to have his arms around her, his hand in her hair.
“I’m not promising to walk away from you without issue, Doc. I think that’s part of your problem. You assume people will. I won’t. I came home to stay. My word means something and when I say I want in, I want all the way in. Things go sideways, we’ll figure it out, readjust and revaluate, but I won’t just walk away from you. Any man who would is a fucking idiot.”