by Jody Holford
“Adam said his family didn’t have much growing up. Said their fathers shared a lot of traits.”
Stella frowned, knowing Adam’s own childhood had been extremely hard thanks to being abandoned by his mother and left with his abusive, alcoholic father. She hated the thought that Zach had gone through anything similar.
“I don’t think he was treated all that well. Plus, his friend died right before he left town and when he talks about it, there’s just something…dark in his gaze.”
Megan nodded again. “Adam mentioned that, too. He didn’t know much more than his friend died because of guys being guys at a party. Some weird, freak accident.”
“So sad,” Stella said. She wanted to change the topic. If Zach wanted her to know more, he’d tell her. She wouldn’t think about how much she wanted him to share his secrets. With her. Can’t take what you aren’t willing to give. Needing to change the topic, she smiled at Megan.
“So. Less than twelve weeks. Any rules or restrictions for the bachelorette party?”
Just like that, the conversation brightened and didn’t make Stella’s heart feel so heavy. Or needy.
Chapter Nineteen
As she drove back into town, she contemplated stopping for groceries. But instead of being the responsible adult she knew she should be, she swung her car into the back parking lot of Declan’s bar. Dec offered an all-day breakfast special. She’d get some delicious scrambled eggs with a great view. Why couldn’t she feel about Zach the way she did about Declan? Like he was a friend. A hot friend, but not one she wanted to cross a line with. How come the guy that ended up inspiring all sorts of wicked fantasies had to be the one in her house and her clinic?
Her Converse slapped against the concrete and she marveled at how nice it felt not to have so much weight on her shoulders. There was paperwork to do, and she needed to clean out the barn; she had a couple loads of laundry and really did need food. But she could take this extra half hour and show her face, remind people that Stella Lane did, indeed, exist outside of her clinic walls.
Declan was behind the bar when she stepped inside. He was a known player with a heart of gold, a love of all things super hero, and a strong business sense. Might be the perfect candidate for getting this restlessness out of your system. A hell of a better choice than someone you’d have to see day in and day out. That’s how the term “friends with benefits” came into existence. There must be something to the theory.
“Hey there, Stell,” Declan greeted, looking up from cutting limes.
“Hey, yourself. How’s it going?” She boosted herself onto one of the stools at the far end of the bar. Bruce Springsteen played over the speakers, telling the dozen or so patrons about Thunder Road.
“I’m good. How’s saving the animal kingdom going?” He slipped the limes into a small bowl and cleaned the cutting board.
“It’s…really good actually. Zach is making things a lot easier. Plus, I have a practicum student who is doing really well. I’ll be sorry to see him go. How about ordering me your all-day breakfast special?”
Declan wiped his hands and came over, setting a napkin in front of her. “You got it. How do you want your eggs and what kind of toast?”
Her mouth watered. “Scrambled and whole wheat.”
“Want a drink?”
“Orange juice.”
“Sounds good. I like Zach, for what it’s worth. And not just because I got to take his money at my poker game.” Declan punched in her order and poured her an orange juice.
Stella bit down on her lip to hide her grin. “I heard about that. The other night was fun. We don’t do that often enough.”
“It was fun. We know some good people.”
Declan came back over, folded his arms over his chest, and though they were pleasant to look at, with all the ink trailing up and over in a series of patterns and designs, Stella’s stomach didn’t stir or dance.
“Speaking of two of those good people, Taylor and I were wondering if maybe we should throw a joint shower for Adam and Meg.”
Declan’s brows slammed together. “Unless we’re talking the slippery wet kind of shower, I’m pretty sure Adam would not want a piece of that.”
“Oh, come on.”
“No way,” Declan said, grinning. “Bachelor party. That’s what dudes want.”
She laughed at his indignation. “Adam isn’t exactly your typical dude.”
Dec nodded. “True. He’d probably like it less than most guys.”
Stella gave up and took a sip of her orange juice.
Leaning on the bar, Declan grinned again. “All this wedding shit make you dreamy eyed?”
Stella leaned in as well. “About as much as it makes you that way.”
His bark of laughter was the reaction she’d hoped for. “No thank you. I like my life the way it is.”
Stella started to say “me too,” but realized that feeling that way was fairly recent. She did like things the way they were now.
“Having a guy around the house full time isn’t giving you any ideas?”
Giving him a saucy grin, she just stared and he laughed again.
“Well, I’m glad he’s making life easier on you. He seems like a good guy. You deserve that. Maybe he’ll be the one to change your mind.”
When she looked up at him, his grin was far too wide. “Says the lifelong player.”
His smile didn’t fade. “You play while it’s fun. You stop when it isn’t. If I met someone who made me feel like Meg makes Adam feel or someone who took the weight off my shoulders as visibly as Zach’s removed it from yours, maybe I’d reconsider eternal bachelorhood.”
She didn’t want to talk about how Zach made her life better. Worse, she didn’t want to rely on it, even though she knew she already was. “You went to school with him, right?”
“I did. Didn’t know him, really. He was always on the edge of the social groupings. There, but not really part of anything.”
Uncertainty made her pause, but she needed to know. “How did his friend die?”
Declan looked around to make sure his staff didn’t need anything. There were less than a dozen people in the bar currently. He leaned on the counter, his usually happy eyes very somber.
“Growski and a bunch of other kids had a big party at the end of the school year. Do you remember that unused barn at the back of the Bakerfield property? No one in that family had stepped on the land in years?”
Stella thought about it and recalled the barely standing structure. Her father used to take her along when he did home visits and they’d pass it on the route through town.
“I’ve never actually been on the property, but I remember the building. It was torched years ago, wasn’t it?”
Something flashed in Declan’s features that warned Stella of what was to come. Her body tensed, ready to receive a blow.
“It was. That year. Growski and some others had conned a bunch of the quote unquote social outcasts into believing they were invited—that it was a graduation truce. I’m not sure what happened when they got there, but I know it wasn’t pretty. Something similar to college hazing, and in the end, Travis Mackleby died. No charges were pressed because it was ruled an accident and there’d been a lot of drinking. But it was pretty traumatic. I remember counselors coming in, talking to a lot of the kids.”
Learning that made Stella’s stomach feel as if she’d swallowed a lemon, rind and all. A fierce…what? Loyalty? Protectiveness? A sadness that she, or someone, couldn’t have saved Zach and Travis’s family from that pain.
A cook tapped the bell, and Declan went to get Stella’s breakfast. Before he came back, someone slid onto the stool beside her. She already knew it was Zach by the time she turned her head. It was like his scent had imprinted on her senses. Dammit. She didn’t want to look at him while she was feeling so much for him.
“Why so glum, Doc? We should be celebrating,” Zach said, his smile making her heart bounce again. Her heart was such an idiot.
Declan placed her food in front of her with a napkin rolled around utensils. “Hey Zach. How’s it going?”
“Not bad. When’s the next poker game?” he asked.
Declan grinned. “Not next Saturday, but the one after.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Glad I didn’t scare you away.”
Zach nodded. “I was just lulling you into a false sense of security,” he said, making Declan laugh while he stole a piece of bacon from Stella’s plate.
“Seriously? That’s mine,” she said.
Zach grinned and put half of it in his mouth, leaving half sticking out as he leaned his face forward, taunting her. Declan arched his brows and winked.
“You’re a dork,” Stella groused. She itched to snatch the half piece back. With your fingers! She picked up her fork and scooped up a bite of eggs.
“How about I order you one?” Declan said to Zach.
“Sounds good. Extra bacon. And I’ll take a Coke, please, when you have a minute.”
“I happen to have a few of them right now. It’ll be slow for another hour yet.” Declan wandered off to do as he’d said, leaving Stella almost thigh to thigh with Zach.
“Look at us spending our time off together.” Zach nudged her with his shoulder.
“Stop it. We both ended up at the same place. It’s a little different.” She liked bantering with him, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Declan’s words. The urge to hug him was irrational, but that didn’t make it go away.
“Yeah, but I’m going to talk you into a game of pool and when I beat you, you’re going to concede that the website and the photographer were both great ideas.”
Stella laughed around a bite full of eggs. “What makes you think you can beat me? Or that you have to do so in order for me to agree?”
Declan put a Coke in front of Zach and walked away to help a customer.
“You can be a stubborn woman, Doc.”
She started to argue, then quirked her lips and offered him another piece of bacon. Funny how, with the right tone, he could make the word “Doc” sound like a caress.
He widened his eyes in a teasingly mocking way. “What? Sharing without making me beg?”
Instant images of making him beg flashed in her brain, sending way-too-pleasant tingles across her skin.
“Remember that when I kick your ass at pool.”
His deep laugh turned Declan’s head and he looked over, a question in his gaze right before he gave her a smile that made most women melt. Why couldn’t that make her shiver?
Because life is never that simple.
Chapter Twenty
Zach couldn’t remember the last time a woman challenged him, turned him on, and completely delighted him all at the same time. Probably never. He’d spent his teen years too wrapped up in real-world problems to get close to girls. He stayed under the radar, and he’d never met any girls there.
Once he was in the army, a couple of buddies had found out he was a virgin and promptly helped him address the issue. It didn’t take him long to feel more at ease with women and he found he liked the way they talked; the way they thought. So even when he wasn’t looking to score, he enjoyed just spending time with women. He didn’t get much opportunity though. There’d been a brief relationship while he was in Mexico and a handful of flings since then.
Stella Lane was unlike any woman he’d ever met. Such a combination of stubborn pride and soft kindness. Not to mention drop-to-his-knees fucking gorgeous. She was the kind of woman a man didn’t get over. Or at least, he wouldn’t.
“You going to keep staring at me, or are we going to play some pool?” Stella rubbed the end of the stick with the blue chalk, her eyes dancing in a way he hadn’t seen before. Should have known she’d be competitive.
“I like staring at you. It’s a good view,” he said, racking up the balls.
“An off-limits view,” she reminded, coming around to break.
“Remind me why that is again.”
She’d started to lean over the table but stopped. “Why what is again?”
He didn’t know why he was stirring up a conversation like this when he agreed whole-heartedly with her views. But other parts of his body strongly disagreed.
“I kind of get the whole we-work-together thing, so we shouldn’t, but I get the impression you keep yourself off-limits in general. Haven’t seen any suitors showing up at our door. Who broke your heart, Doc?”
A flash of pain widened her eyes and was gone before he could be sure he saw it. But it was as if his heart recognized it. He knew she’d been hurt. But seeing it in her face made him want to smack heads together.
“Tell you what; since I have a few questions of my own, why don’t we say every time one of us makes a shot, the other has to answer a question. Honestly.”
He stepped into her space and brushed a lock of hair off her cheek. “I’m always honest.”
Stepping back, she smiled and set herself up to break. She looked over her shoulder at him, caught him checking out her ass, and smirked. “Do we have a deal?”
He was a good shot, so he nodded. He wanted to know more about her, whatever it took.
She sent the white ball blazing across the felt and the rest of the balls scattered. A striped one went into the corner pocket.
“First shot doesn’t count,” he said.
Stella glared at him and walked around the table. “Don’t cheat. I’m stripes, and you owe me an answer.”
“Fine. But you know what they say about payback.”
Stella paused, looking at the table before deciding where to shoot. “That’s the second time you’ve said that with no follow-through. I’m not scared. Where was your first time?”
He smirked. Cute. But, in his opinion, she’d wasted a question. “Texas. I was nineteen.”
Stretching, she set the cue so she could hit a bank shot, but missed. Unfazed, she walked over to him.
“Why didn’t you come back to Brockton sooner?”
Zach’s throat went dry. Because he’d associated “making it” with a dollar amount. Once he’d been able to sink his money into a tangible future in the place he loved, he’d set his plans in motion. “You didn’t sink your last shot. My turn.”
He went to the end of the table and lined up a shot, then sank it. He wanted real answers. “Why’d your last relationship end?”
Even as he moved to line up his next shot, he saw her face go pale. His stomach cramped—he wanted her to open up, but he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable.
Stella’s fingers tightened around her cue. “He asked me to marry him. I said yes. When I tried to make plans to move forward, he kept stalling. Then I asked him about coming back here to live, and he told me he’d never wanted to marry me in the first place. I was convenient and a really good vet.”
As if ice water had been dumped down his jeans, Zach froze. “What the actual fuck? Are you serious? Who was he?” Zach didn’t resort to violence unless he had to, but he’d be fine with kicking that guy’s ass all over town and back.
“That’s a lot of questions, Mr. One Shot.” Color splashed over her perfect cheeks again, but he could see she was still shaken. He was a little shocked she’d given him so much.
He sank a second shot. “What’s your favorite color?”
Stella’s eyes widened, then narrowed. Zach laughed and lined up his next shot, hoping she didn’t say pink.
“Yellow.”
He could live with that. Lining up the white ball, he angled the cue and pulled his arm back, enjoyed the sound of one ball cracking off another and the sight of the red ball sinking.
“Crap,” Stella muttered.
Zach moved around the table and reached out, tilting her chin up. “I know you said we can’t go back there, but do you think about it? The kiss?”
Maybe he could live with not kissing her again if he knew he wasn’t the only one affected. With his fingers resting just under her chin, he felt the increase in her pulse. It
made his blood rush. He dropped his hand.
“Yes. But I was serious about us not going there, Zach. Ask me where I met him.”
He didn’t think he wanted the answer. Mostly, because he could predict it. “He was your boss?”
She nodded. “My mentor actually. It’d be like me taking advantage of Dexter. In hindsight, it never should have happened. I feel like he should have known that, the way I do as an adult and a professional.”
“I’m not Dexter, and you’re not the ass clown who didn’t know how lucky he was to have you. This is different.”
He hadn’t intended to try and convince her that they’d be good together. They both had a lot to lose if things went sideways. But he’d never been great at denying the truth, and the truth was that Stella Lane was under his skin in a way no other woman had ever been.
“I’m getting so I kind of like having you at the clinic with me. Let’s not do anything to wreck that.”
He held her gaze and swallowed down the want consuming him. “We can be friends though. Give me that, at least,” he said.
Stella smiled and the strain he’d seen earlier vanished. “Surprisingly, you already have it. Now take your damn shot.”
Zach hoped his grin hid the disappointment he felt over not having the right to pull her against his body and wrap his arms around her. He’d never wanted to fucking cuddle a woman as much as he did this one. Maybe because it was so out of character for her to lean on someone that when he got to be that someone, nothing else mattered. “Blue ball…hmm, how appropriate is that? Corner pocket.” He shot and missed.
Stella’s smile ate up her whole face. “Can’t win ’em all.”
Lining up a shot, she got it in with little effort. “What if I hadn’t caved and let you join the clinic?”
“I tried not to give it a lot of thought because I’ve always felt like if you have a goal you should bulldoze your way toward it, and thinking of ways it might not work out just fucks you up. But. I had a backup plan of opening a clinic closer to Bristol. Close enough to still live here, but they don’t have anyone local.” He was glad it hadn’t come to that. “It’s your shot.”