I sighed, my dad’s disappointment transferring to me. I might as well come clean. “I went to see Jamie today.”
His back went ramrod straight, jaw clenching. He sat on the stool across from me, and I could already hear the reprimand forming in his mind.
“Save the lecture,” I said. “We agreed not to see each other anymore. You happy?”
He dropped his napkin in his lap. “Nothing about this situation makes me happy. I love you. And Jamie is like a son. It does not make me happy to discipline either of you.”
And now it was clear I’d robbed Jamie of something more than his place on the team. I’d potentially robbed him of a mentor, one he needed.
“He was pretty upset. What did you say to him?”
“The truth,” my dad said, his voice flat and emotionless. “I was disappointed. He’d let his team down. That a man wouldn’t take advantage of a starstruck sixteen-year-old girl.”
“Is that what you think I am? Starstruck?” Contrary to my behavior over the last few days, I didn’t feel like a little girl. Especially when I was around Jamie “And you should know, he resisted at first. If anyone took advantage of anyone, it was me taking advantage of him.”
“He still should have known better,” he said, unconvinced.
“I told him I loved him.” Pile it on Shaw. Pile on the humiliating confessions.
“Do you think that was a good idea?”
“Probably not.” I twirled my fork in my plate of noodles. “But it’s the truth.”
“I’m sorry, Erin. That doesn’t change anything.”
“I know.” I looked up from my plate and met my dad’s gaze head on. “Just don’t shut him out for long. Not because of me. Team or no team, he needs you.”
* * *
Over the next week, I threw myself into volleyball. Games and practice were about the only times my thoughts weren’t consumed with Jamie, wondering where he was and what he was doing. Every day I forced myself to refrain from texting him. I’d already told him I loved him after agreeing we should back off for a few weeks. I didn’t want to add to my humiliation by suffering through unanswered text messages, again.
I was on my way to Ally’s for a Gossip Girl marathon, and I happened to have taken the scenic route, the route that took me by Jamie’s house. My dad had left the house a few hours ago on his way to oversee a training exercise, the biggest and most demanding one the guys had faced since Jamie’s suspension. They’d been waiting for the right time—high seas, steady winds, all around challenging conditions.
Before I realized my intention to do so, I pulled into his driveway. I sat there with the engine running, pondering whether I should go knock on the door, when it opened, and Mrs. Jacobs walked out.
She pulled up short when she saw me. A line of disapproval marred her otherwise striking face. She looked just like Jamie. Or rather, Jamie looked just like her. Same pale green eyes, same midnight hair, only her features were much softer, classically feminine, the very embodiment of “natural beauty.” And here she was, walking toward my Tahoe, looking comfortable in a pair of ragged cut-off denim shorts and a V-neck shirt that she somehow made look super stylish. I had no choice but to roll down the window, though I was pretty sure she hated me.
“Hi, Mrs. Jacobs.”
“Hello, Erin.” Her tone was passive and cool. She slipped her sunglasses over her eyes, the thick tail of her braid hanging over one shoulder. “You doing all right?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I responded woodenly, peering through the windshield for any sign of Noah or Jamie.
“How’s your dad?”
Awkward small talk was just so awkward.
“He’s good,” I nodded and tried to smile, but it was stilted. She was oddly intimidating in a way she had never been before. She’d been nothing but nice to me since Noah and I had been friends, warm even. But her demeanor was reserved today and I was sure it had everything to do with Jamie and the apparent trouble I’d caused him.
“Noah’s not here,” she said, but she knew I wasn’t here to see Noah. “Jamie was on the beach last I saw him.”
Not quite an invitation to stay and chat, but she wasn’t demanding I leave either. I killed the engine, sighing heavily. I really did want to see Jamie and now that she’d confirmed he was just on the other side of the house, it would be impossible to leave.
I crawled out of my Tahoe, watching her as she ventured into the garage. I should say something, I just wasn’t sure what.
“Mrs. Jacobs?” I called, my keys dangling from my fingers. She stalled in the process of reaching for the handlebars of her bike. “I’m sorry about what happened with Jamie. I didn’t intend… well, I didn’t mean for him to get in trouble with my dad.”
“Jamie’s an adult,” she said, wheeling her bike into the driveway. “I expect he’ll have to live with the consequences of poor decisions.”
Ouch. So that’s how she viewed me—a poor decision. Guess I couldn’t blame her.
“Tell your dad hi for me.” She smiled sweetly through the subtle threat. My dad and Mrs. Jacobs were friends and had been long before Noah and I were thoughts in their minds. If I thought I’d be able to get away with coming over here to check on Jamie without my dad finding out, she’d made it clear I was screwed on that account. Might as well make the best of it and go find him.
The wind blasted me the second I stepped around the corner of the house, following the path that led to the beach. Waves rolled over in a constant roar, but still it wasn’t loud enough to mute the drumming of my heart when I spotted Jamie.
I kicked off my shoes and traipsed toward him. I refrained from running, which was what I wanted to do because a week was too long to be away from him.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, angling his head up and piercing me with the intensity of his eyes, as troubled as the frothy Gulf’s water.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged and dropped my chin, digging in the sand with my toe. “I just wanted to see you.”
“Where are you supposed to be?” His eyes roved over my face, sending a chill down my spine and at the same time a fire seemed to burn in my belly, as though he were touching me everywhere his eyes settled. A week had done nothing to dull my feelings.
“Ally’s. I’m spending the night. Thought I’d stop by and see how you were first.”
“I’m fine.” His full lips pressed into a tight line as a shadow descended over his expression. My heart fell and I feared I’d made a mistake in coming.
“Okay.” I retreated a step. “I guess I’ll go.”
I made it a half dozen steps before his voice coasted over me. “Erin, stay.”
My heart jumped and I pivoted, the eagerness in his expression soothing my unsettled feelings. His legs were bent, arms on his knees, the wind playing with the ends of his hair around his ears. He’d let it grow out a little and it softened the chiseled lines of his jaw and cheekbones. I clenched my fists to keep from reaching up and running a finger through it.
“They’re doing a Cannonball Run,” he said, using the name the guys had made up for the exercise, his voice heavy with dejection.
“I’m sorry. I know you wish you were with them,” I offered, feeling the ghost of remaining guilt for my part in why he was here instead of on the helicopter with the other guys, preparing to jump hundreds of feet into the churning Gulf and swim ten times that distance to shore.
“Honestly, this was the only part of the training I’m happy to miss.”
“I would think this one would be right up your alley,” I said.
My dad had told me a little bit about the general parameters of the exercise. I could understand Donovan or Lassiter being nervous. Swimming wasn’t their strong suit and with the water as rough as it was, keeping themselves afloat would be hard enough without the gear they were required to haul back to shore once they dropped from the helicopter. Easy as eating brownies for Jamie.
“Not entirely,” he said, hinting at self-depreciation.
“You wouldn’t be scared would you?” I bumped his shoulder with mine, my smile teasing. I couldn’t imagine Jamie was scared of anything.
“Actually, yeah,” he said and sheepishly ducked his chin.
“I don’t believe that.” My gaze wandered to the Gulf and the angry churn of the waves, the whitecaps bright in the dark expanse of water.
“There’s just something about being in the air, the vulnerability of it.”
“You’re afraid of flying?”
“To put it mildly. The fist time your dad took me up, I was so nervous I puked twice crossing the tarmac to board the helicopter.”
“You didn’t.” I bit my lip to keep from smiling.
“I did, and it gets worse. Once we were airborne, I got so light headed I could barely hang on. I was just looking down on all that water. I’d never seen it from the air before. I was pouring sweat, trying not be sick again.” He snorted in disgust.
“What happened?”
“I fainted. Fell right out the cargo door.”
I covered my mouth, stifling a laugh. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny.”
“I’m sure it was funny. I deserved it too. Took me down a few pegs. I wasn’t so cocky after that.”
I laughed out loud and so did he, and it felt so right and good to be with him. I let my head fall to the side, catching on his shoulder. I felt the press of his lips on the top of my hair and just as I closed my eyes, my phone started buzzing in my pocket.
I sat up and groaned when I saw it was my dad. I showed it to Jamie and for a second, I thought about not answering. Then my brow creased as I stared at my dad’s name on the screen. Why would he be calling me now? He’d told me he’d be off the grid until the guys were through with the exercise, and I knew that wouldn’t be for hours.
“Answer it,” Jamie said, his tone serious as if he shared my concern.
“Dad?” The way Jamie tensed up had me worried. He sensed it too. Something wasn’t right.
“You with Jamie?” my dad asked, forgoing any kind of greeting, had I needed any indication something had indeed gone wrong.
“Yes, sir,” I said, not questioning how he knew.
“Give him the phone.”
Jamie was already reaching for it, launching to his feet in the process. I scrambled up after him, alarmed by the stoic expression congealing on his face as he listened to whatever what my dad was saying.
“What is it?” I touched his arm, the muscle underneath my fingers firm as granite and charged with urgency.
“I have to go,” he said, shoving my phone in my hand before sprinting for the water and vanishing into the churn of waves without explanation.
“Dad? What’s going on?” I asked but got nothing but silence. He’d either ended the call or it had dropped. I pushed redial and was immediately directed to voicemail.
“Shit,” I muttered, staring at the screen.
Danger was inherent in their training. Accidents occurred all too often. I searched the horizon as clouds billowed in the graying sky, my chest tight and my mind streaming with a myriad of possibilities. Wind whipped my hair. I didn’t want to think about the chopper going down due to technical difficulties. I didn’t want to think the rough waters had been too much for one of the guys. They were well trained, not susceptible to the panic such conditions could induce.
They would be all right. If something had happened, Jamie would save them.
It’s what he did.
* * *
I called Ally and told her I was sick. Wasn’t far from the truth. I was sick with worry and the repeated scenarios rushing through my mind as I stared at my phone, willing it to ring. I paced the foyer, waiting for my dad to come bursting through the door and tell me what the hell was going on. I paced around the pool, thinking maybe Jamie would show up and put my mind at ease. What was taking so long? Jamie had fielded my dad’s call almost four hours ago. I should have heard something by now.
Out of desperation, I started to call my mom, when I heard my dad’s car pulling up in the driveway. I was out the door in a hot minute.
“What happened?” I asked, searching his face frantically. His short, spiky hair stuck up all over his head as though he’d run his hands through it a thousand times. His normally bright eyes were dull with fatigue, the kind that comes from worrying.
“Accident,” he said. “Chopper went down in the Gulf.
“Is anyone hurt?” I fell in stride with him as he walked back inside, his gait slow and measured.
“Donovan suffered a head injury,” he said, running his hand over his face. I immediately went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer, popped the top and handed it to him.
“Thanks,” he said and plopped on a stool at the kitchen island. I was still too distraught to sit.
“Is he okay?” That my dad was home after one of his men had been injured meant one of two things: either Donovan was all right, or he was dead.
“He’s fine,” he said, with a note of reservation in his tone. He took a sip of his beer and looked at me with tired eyes.
“And Jamie?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
“Tonight might have ended in disaster if it weren’t for him,” he said, almost begrudgingly. “Donovan would’ve suffered a lot more than a bump on the head.”
“But he’s all right?” I was glad Donovan was alive and well, but my dad hadn’t answered my question.
“Yes, Erin, he’s perfectly fine. I left him at the hospital sitting with Donovan. His parents are flying in from Texas. The guys were going to stay with him until they get there.”
“And no one else was hurt?”
“A few minor abrasions and bruises, nothing serious.”
“Well, that’s good,” I said, feeling a deep sense of relief. For the first time in over four hours, I took a fulfilling breath. “And it’s good Jamie’s with Donovan. It means they aren’t angry anymore.”
“Jamie more than likely saved Donovan’s life. His GPS malfunctioned. It would have been hours or more before we found him, had we found him at all. He didn’t have hours.”
“So what does that mean?” I asked, my hope that maybe tonight’s events would change my dad’s mind about Jamie’s standing with the team.
“It means, I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. I’m exhausted. But first,” he leveled that steely gaze on me, “I want you to tell me what you were doing with Jamie.”
“Talking.” Were we really going to have this conversation right now after what had happened? Seemed pretty insignificant now. Apparently, my dad didn’t see it that way. “We were friends dad. I miss him. And before you go blaming him again, I blindsided him. He didn’t know I was going over, so if you want to rake someone over the coals, that person would be me.”
He let out a labored breath and took another sip of beer. “You’re giving that boy a hell of a time.”
“No, you are.” This whole situation was stupid. I wasn’t a child anymore. Jamie certainly wasn’t, and I was tired and emotionally overworked enough to say so. Then I stomped out of the kitchen before the tears that threatened fell, and headed for the stairs. Why was my dad continuing to be so obstinate when it was obvious Jamie had proven himself?
When I’d closed myself in my room, I checked my phone, surprised to see I had a message from Jamie.
Jamie: you get in trouble?
Me: no
Jamie: I was worried.
Me: you’re the big hero now
Jamie: I guess. Donovan says to tell you he’s sorry.
Me: he can tell me himself when I come see him tomorrow
I waited for an hour for another text from Jamie, but it never came. Eventually I fell asleep clutching my phone in my hand.
Chapter Fourteen
Two weeks later, I was in my room getting ready for the Sub-Regional Tournament. Taking first place in the Area Tournament meant we’d have the home court advantage. Ally had supplied the team with matching hair ribbons—they were black
with white volleyballs—and I was tying mine in place when my phone buzzed on the bathroom counter.
Jamie: dock 2 minutes
I ran to my bedroom window, dropping my ribbon in the process. The dock was empty. I tossed my phone on the bed and hauled ass down the stairs and through the back yard, my feet hitting the dock about the time Jamie propelled himself out of the water like a water god, something otherworldly. The wood shook when he landed, surprisingly graceful for someone with his body mass. Water streamed down his chest and stomach. He shook his head, droplets of water, flying from his hair.
“Hi.” His ghost of a smile brightened his eyes, and all I wanted to do was run and launch myself at him.
“Hi.” I took a step toward him but he made no move to come any closer, his eyes scanning over my shoulder, presumably looking for my dad. “He’s not here.”
“Yeah, I made sure he wasn’t before I texted.”
“What are you doing here?”
I’d run into him the day after the training accident when I’d gone to the hospital to see Donovan. Jamie had stayed through the night, and when I’d expressed my concern about him being exposed to all those hospital germs, he’d assured me he’d used plenty of sanitizer. He might be afraid of flying but he wasn’t afraid of germs. I hadn’t seen him since.
He’d texted me exactly once on the morning my picture had made it on the front of the sports pages in the newspaper—a heart, and a smiley, and a pair of lips.
“I wanted to wish you good luck in your game. I know how big a deal this is for you.”
“Thanks. I’m pretty nervous.” Though him being here tamed some of the pre-game butterflies.
“You’ll do great,” he said, fixing me with those eyes, the lashes still spiked with moisture. “I wish I could come.”
“Me too.” My shiver had nothing to do with the soft breeze blowing and everything to do with the way he devoured me with his gaze. His nostrils flared on a long inhale.
“You changed your body wash.”
“I’m surprised you can smell me from way over there.”
Summer's Last Breath (The Emerald Series) Page 10