“Erin, none of us think that about you. If I made you feel like that by what I said, I’m sorry. That was my ego talking and my drunk ass broken heart.”
“I’m so—"
“Don’t say you’re sorry. Say you forgive me.”
“Oh, all right.” I wiped my face. “I guess I can forgive you.”
“Thank you. They guys were going to make me leave if you hadn’t. If it makes you feel any better, I puked my guts out for hours the next day.”
“It makes me feel a little better, but please no more talk of puke,” I said, holding my stomach.
He pulled his hands out of his pockets. “Now how about a game of Ping-Pong before the game starts? I feel like getting my ass kicked some more.”
“Yeah, right.” He pulled me from the bed and I followed him out of my room. I’d never beat Donovan at anything.
“You okay?” I asked as we trekked down the stairs. He was moving a little stiffly, taking each step as if he were walking over hot coals.
“Yeah, I’m good.” He hissed when he reached the bottom.
I was pretty sure he let me beat him in Ping-Pong, and by the end of the game things felt like they used to between us. We even played a double’s match, Donovan and I partnering up against Tate and Lassiter. Won that one too.
I wasn’t much into football, so when the game started, I took my bowl of chili outside. It was too cool to get in the pool, but the sun was warm and it felt good to stretch out in the lounge chair. Once I’d settled in, the back door slid open and I looked up to see Jamie making his way around the pool, a bowl of steaming gumbo in his hand.
“How is it?” I asked, closely watching his face as he took a bite.
“It’s good,” he said. “You didn’t need to go to the trouble just for me, but I’m glad you did. Thank you.”
“You better thank me,” I said and proceeded to relate my bathroom adventures to him without going into too much detail.
“God, I’m sorry,” he said, trying not to laugh. “That’s got to be miserable. You should feel better in a couple of weeks.”
I leaned my head back on the chair, sighing. “It’s just crazy something the size of a grape can cause so much havoc.”
We’d both downloaded an app for our phones that tracked our baby’s day-to-day development. Today we’d discovered the baby was the size of a grape.
“I think it’s going to be nothing compared to when I actually feel it move. That will probably totally freak me out.”
“Well, I hope I’m around when you feel her move,” he said.
“Her?” I cut my eyes up at him. “Have you been talking to Maggie?”
“Nope, just a hunch.” He settled on the lounge chair next to mine. “I see you and Donovan kissed and made up.”
“We talked,” I said. “It’s all good.”
“Yeah, he gave this big apology speech before training yesterday. I still kind of wanted to pound his face in, but then he insisted we punish him, so it was kind of the same thing.”
“Punish him how?”
“Double reps of everything we did, wearing a weighted vest. And afterward, Tate made him do a ten mile run.”
I winced. Donovan hated to run. It was his biggest goat.
“But he did it without a word of complaint. And with a hangover. I was even feeling sorry for him, watching him drudge through those last two miles. I’m surprised he can walk today.”
I smiled. That explained the exorbitant wincing he’d been doing every time he moved, and it went a long way in explaining the restored camaraderie between the guys. It wasn’t the first time one of them had stepped out of line. They didn’t tend to hold grudges, not when they could simply put the offender through hours of torture instead.
Something must have happened in the game, because the guys burst out yelling from inside the house. One of the windows was open, letting in the fall air. They sounded like they were having fun.
“You don’t have to hang with me,” I said to Jamie. “I don’t want to interfere with your guy time.”
“Maybe I want to hang with you.” Jamie settled back on his chair, stretching his legs and perching his bowl on his chest.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to.” I stirred my chili, picking at a bean with my spoon. “I’m pregnant. I’m not disabled and I don’t have a disease. I just don’t want people to look at me differently, feel sorry for me.”
“Do you think I look at you differently? You think I’m out here because I feel sorry for you?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “No. I didn’t really mean you as much as other people. Friends at school. Ross,” I said with a nod to the house. “Why? Do you look at me differently?”
“Yes,” he said, catching and holding my gaze. “When I look at you now I see a different girl. An incredibly brave girl who I love more than I did yesterday.”
My spoon dropped into my bowl and I blinked, my breath catching somewhere in my chest.
“Shit Erin. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“It’s okay.” I fanned my face with my hands. “It’s not that hard right now. I cry about everything.”
“Hey." He leaned over and wiped my cheek with his finger. His mouth coasted over my ear. “Maybe I’m hanging out here with you because I’m trying to get in your pants.”
I laughed and pushed him away. “No way. We’re waiting until we’re married this time.”
He sat back and took a bite of his gumbo, his expression serious. “If you could go back, would you wait?”
I thought about that for a few minutes. To say yes would be admitting I’d made a mistake. To say yes would mean I regretted getting pregnant. I didn’t think either of those things were true.
“No,” I said. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Good.” He leaned over and kissed me on the mouth. “Me neither.”
Chapter Twenty
Jamie and I were married a month later on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I had wanted to give my dad plenty of time to fully accept the situation. I wanted our wedding day to be a happy occasion, not one marred by feelings of guilt or disappointment.
We couldn't have picked a more perfect day. The sun was bright in a clear blue sky, warming the air to a balmy seventy degrees with a slight breeze.
Technically, I was already Erin Shaw Jacobs. We’d made our union official at the courthouse the previous day, but in my mind, and Jamie’s too, this was the ceremony that would truly make me his and he mine.
“You are absolutely beautiful,” my mom said as she met my gaze in the mirror of Mrs. Jacobs’s bathroom. “I want so much for you to happy.”
She would never have voiced it out loud, but I was certain she’d been holding out hope I’d change my mind and set a different course for my life, one not as permanent as the commitment I was making to Jamie.
“I will be, Mom.” I ran my hands down the front of the dress she’d helped me pick out. White with long sheer sleeves, the dress hugged my body from my collarbone to my hips, flaring slightly right above my knees. My hair had been fixed in a loosely tied side ponytail and it hung over one shoulder, the dark strands curled at the ends. “I guess I’m ready.”
We walked out of Mrs. Jacobs's bathroom and I couldn’t help stealing a peek out her bedroom window at the beach where I knew Jamie was waiting for me. He was stunningly handsome standing next to Noah and Jeb, my dad right there with them, looking more relaxed than I'd seen him in weeks.
“Jamie looks nervous,” my mom observed from over my shoulder with a teasing lilt in her voice.
“I think he looks beautiful.” The sun shone on his dark head and the twinkle it cast on the water at his back made this day feel like a fairytale.
With an ache building in my chest, I took that final walk to the beach with the roll of the surf setting the cadence of my steps, knowing my life was about to change forever, knowing in so many ways it already had.
The ceremony was romantic in its simplicity.
My dad was waiting to give me away, and he pressed his lips to my cheek before he placed my hand in Jamie’s.
I looked into Jamie's face and the tenderness of his gaze, the surety in the firm grip of his hands, eased the pressure in my chest. Nothing had ever felt more right.
Jamie's pulse beat in his neck under smooth, tanned skin, contrasting with his white linen shirt. The pearl he wore glimmered at the base of his throat, as though winking at me. The skirt of my dress winged lazily in the breeze against the legs of his blue pants as though I were a cloud and he were the sky and I’d float with him forever. Neither of us wore shoes, and my toes curled nervously in the sand.
No one presided over the ceremony unless you counted that mysterious place the Deep. Jamie and I stood before her, close enough an errant wave washed over our feet. No formal vows were spoken, only a proclamation of our love and commitment to each other. Rings weren’t exchanged. It was as simple as me saying the words, “I love you. I’ll be with you always.”
My voice only shook a little and Jamie’s smile in response made me heart swell. And then it was his turn.
“I love you, Erin,” he began, and the timbre of his voice and the earnestness in his expression captured me in a spell that I was all too happy to be caught in. A tear swelled in his eye and slid down his cheek in a green rivulet of moisture. Only it wasn’t a tear. It was pure magic. He cupped my hand and that magic spilled into it—a perfectly round, perfectly warm pearl, a perfect match to his pale green eyes. I sucked in a breath at the marvel of the treasure I held. He gently closed my fingers around it.
“I offer this as a symbol of my bond,” his voice coasted over me, weaving the spell tighter and everything else, everyone else, disappeared, leaving only the sound of Jamie's voice. “My heart is yours. My soul is yours, as is my body. What strength I possess I give in protection of yours. I’d be honored if, as my wife, you would accept this token of my bond.”
He looked right into me, at every little piece of my soul, and any unvoiced doubts I might have had about us, our future, allayed under his ardent stare.
“I will,” I said, my eyes misting and my heart beating in a rhythm of happiness.
He kissed me, and I felt the promise in his lips and the grip of his hands. A new surge of wind blew over us and another wave anointed our feet.
Jamie slowly lifted his head, his smile tender, and brushed my cheek with his thumb. “She offers her blessing.”
“Does she?” I asked, clinging to the hope in his touch.
“Yes. Everything is going to be all right. We’re married now.” He scooped me up and hugged me, and our laughter carried over the beach as our families swarmed us.
What followed was a scene of happy confusion as hugs were shared and those closest to us offered their support. For those few minutes, it didn’t matter that we were still teenagers. That we’d gotten married because we were going to have a baby. I wanted this life with Jamie.
Any tears were happy. Any doubts were put on hold.
"Your mom doesn't like me." I heard the smile in Jamie's voice as he hugged me from behind, and the tickle of his laugh over my ear sent a delicious shiver over my body.
I'd witnessed the awkward hug my mom had given him, her arms stiff across his broad back.
"I think she's still reserving judgment." I lifted on my toes and kissed his jaw. "But it doesn't matter. I like you."
"That's good to know," he said and tilted his head and took my lips in a kiss.
I gazed into his face and lifted my hand, letting my finger trace the pale smear of his tear over his cheek.
"And this." I opened my hand and stared at the pearl in my palm. It shimmered in the sun, pulsing with vibrant energy. "Jamie, this is beautiful. I wasn't expecting this."
“When you’re ready to let go of that,” Maggie whispered, indicating the pearl in my hand with a nod of her chin, “bring it to me and I’ll make you something fabulous.”
“I will,” I said, though I doubted I could part with it long enough.
She smiled, her eyes sparkling as though her happiness and joy couldn’t be contained. Surely I must look the same. “I’m still waiting for you to say the word so I can give you my wedding gift.”
My hand covered my stomach and it was obvious she was dying to tell us the sex of our baby.
I angled my face toward Jamie’s, a silent question in my eyes. He winked and said, “It’s up to you. I already know anyway.”
“You think you know,” I said, laughter bubbling out of my chest. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know but, at the same time, I was ready to put a name to the life growing inside me. I closed my eyes and blurted, “Okay tell us.”
“It’s a girl,” she sang, and another round of hugs and congratulations ensued and I thought it didn’t matter what the outside world thought. I was surrounded by people who loved me and were happy for me and Jamie.
Jeb had brought a camera and the shutter clicked every few minutes as he circled, acting as photographer.
I slung my arm around Ally's shoulder. I'd thought long and hard about who I'd wanted beside me today and Ally was the only friend I'd elected to include.
"I can't believe you're married," she said as we pressed our cheeks together waiting for Jeb to snap a picture.
"Come on, Ally, smile," he said, puckering his lips from behind the lens.
I pinched her ribs and we broke out into giggles while the shutter snapped a few times. Jeb took a few more pictures and then I called a halt when my face started to hurt so much from smiling.
We all seemed to move as one toward the house for the party Mrs. Jacobs had planned. She'd worked tirelessly, preparing heaping amounts of food and desserts, but I was certain I could exist solely on love.
Jamie followed close behind me and grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop, allowing everyone else a chance to move up the beach without us. I may have been Erin Jacobs since yesterday, but we hadn't spent the night together, and I sighed contentedly when he fitted me against him, and my arms circled his waist.
“I love this dress,” he whispered in my ear, his fingers skimming my collarbone and up the side of my neck. My skin burned everywhere his finger touched. “I love you in this dress. I can’t wait to get you out of this dress.”
“I could say the same about you.” My hand snaked under his shirt to stroke the ridges of his abdomen, his body growing taut under my caress.
He nuzzled my ear. “Do we have to stay for the party?”
“Our moms did go through a lot of trouble,” I said dreamily, wondering if my feet would ever touch the ground again. "And the guys are coming over."
A full blown honeymoon wasn't possible, but Jamie had something planned for us for the rest of the weekend. "A surprise," was all he’d said, refusing to tell me more.
"I saw the guys yesterday and I want you all to myself." He rested his forehead against mine. “Do you think an hour is long enough to stay?”
“Yes.” My hands found the curve of his firm ass, the groan he emitted satisfying.
“An hour then. Not a minute longer. And then you’re all mine.”
“No,” I said, raising on my tiptoes to nip at his bottom lip. “You’re all mine.”
* * *
I was sitting on the back patio enjoying the fading sunlight. My dad had finally turned off the grill he'd manned for the last hour and was back in the house, hanging with the adults.
Noah and Donovan had been sitting at the patio table deep in conversation, their hushed tones decidedly energetic as a trail of people, human and breather alike, followed a path from the beach to the house and back.
Now that the party was in full swing, I understood the reason for the copious amounts of food Mrs. Jacobs had prepared. I'd expected the guys to come over, and I had known my dad invited
Coach Hall and her husband, and even Ally's parents had made an appearance. What I hadn't expected was the number of Jamie's tribe members that stopped by in a steady stream. Some of them came in the front door and were dressed in street clothes, but just as many emerged from the surf—mostly the guys—despite the cool temperatures. I'd met a few of them the times Jamie and I had eaten at Pirates, so some of the faces were familiar.
Jamie was in the living room and I had a clear view of him through the glass doors. Tate and Lassiter were taking up most of the cushion space on the couch, and Jamie was propped on the armrest with a bowl of crawfish étouffée in his hands. We’d more or less gone our separate ways once our friends started arriving, though I continued to be aware of his every movement, and more than once I'd felt a distinct tingle in my spine only to turn and find Jamie watching me. The hour he'd wanted to stay had quickly turned into two, and it had been obvious we couldn't totally bail on the party, though it was becoming equally obvious we were ready to do just that. My anticipation of the coming night was growing with each distracted breath I took, and I had to squash my disappointment when I heard the doorbell ring, signaling the arrival of another guest. I'd hoped they'd all start leaving soon.
Tate and Lassiter's conversation halted when Quinn, the girl I'd met at Pirates, walked into the living room looking especially lovely. She stopped and spoke to Jamie, and he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before introducing her to a rapt Tate and Lassiter. She smiled slyly when she saw me through the windows and whispered something in Jamie's ear. He dipped his head and a flush rose in his cheeks. I didn't miss the way Tate and Lassiter watched her appreciatively as she made her way out onto the patio.
"Hey, Noah." She waved flippantly then turned her attention to me and said, "You may not remember, but I'm Quinn."
"I remember.” I thought I'd remember any girl Jamie confessed to kissing even if they'd only been ten years old at the time, especially one as pretty as Quinn. She smelled like Jamie, only sweeter, and she possessed an understated beauty that grew more intense the longer you looked at her. Tate still had his eyes on her and I'd noticed Donovan had sat up straighter in his chair when she'd come outside.
Summer's Last Breath (The Emerald Series) Page 16