by WB McKay
The fever of the magic raised to a roaring crescendo and winked out. It was done. Graulfv was healed. "There," I said, releasing his shoulder.
The world tilted. The floor rushed at my face. My eyes blurred. I felt like I was going to wretch.
"Sophie," said Graulfv. The urgency in his voice indicated it wasn't the first time he'd said it.
"You were really messed up," I said, my words embarrassingly slurred. There was something warm at the corner of my mouth. I swiped a hand clumsily at it. It came away clear. Drool. "Did I pass out?"
Graulfv's strong arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me to my feet. He deposited me gently in the chair beside his bed. "For about thirty seconds," he said, his blurry features turned down in concern.
I blinked several times until he came back into focus. "You look better," I said, trying to ignore the fact that I'd passed out and drooled on myself in front of someone who practically worshiped me. "Your color is back."
Graulfv grunted. "I stole the color from you. You're as white as a sheet."
I laughed, sparking another wave of dizziness. "Is it possible to be whiter than glow-in-the-dark?"
"I'll get you some water," said Graulfv, already on his way out the door before I could object. I noted that he moved with the speed and grace of a much younger man.
He returned a moment later, a large glass of water clutched in his meaty hand. He tried to press it to my lips and I snatched it away. "I'm not an invalid," I said with a growl. The water was so cold that it burned going down my throat. "Damn! Did you hike up to a glacier for this?"
Graufv's brow furrowed. "No. It's just water from our normal well." He held out a hand, palm out. "May I?"
I nodded.
His hand pressed to my sweaty forehead, feeling like a block of ice. I shrunk back. "What the hell?"
"Fever. If you were human, I'd say you should be dead. Three times over." He looked sheepish, as if talking about my death were the worst taboo ever. "Being that you're fae, I have no idea if it's harmful. I do believe it's for the best that you rest. You're swaying like you just took a turn on a tire swing with your worst enemy controlling the spin."
I laughed. "You do read a lot." I'd never been on a tire swing, but I'd heard a couple of horror stories. "I have no intention of showing you my breakfast." My stomach lurched. I swallowed hard. "You might want to get me a bucket and face the wall, just in case."
Again, I was struck by the alacrity with which he moved, digging through his piles of books until he found a wooden bucket that held a few food scraps. He placed it beside my chair and I tried to ignore the odor of the banana peel. It wasn't rotten, but the smell was not my friend just then.
I took a few deep breaths in through my mouth and out through my nose. Some of the dizziness and nausea subsided. "You really do look good."
"I feel fantastic." He flexed his arms and then tore off the bandages around his torso without bothering to unwrap them. There wasn't so much as a bruise marring his tan skin. "I don't think I've felt this good since The Morrigan offered me some of my years back."
My teeth clenched. "Don't even get me started on her." Graulfv had done nothing more than worship her in the best way he could. It wasn't his fault that he and his group of clansmen had almost killed my boyfriend and sparked my rage. Well, it kind of was, but I didn't blame him for being twisted by The Morrigan. Not anymore, anyway. Really, I wasn't even sure what he'd done to earn her displeasure. It's not like she cared about me beyond something to amuse her. He hadn't deserved to be locked into old age for eternity. But he probably counted himself lucky since the rest of his companions had either been killed by me, or eaten by The Morrigan. Although, honestly, I'd never wanted to ask how he felt on the subject. I didn't want to hear him explain to me about the honor of being sustenance for The Morrigan.
Graulfv, wisely, said nothing about my comment or the face I'd made to accompany it. He'd grown a lot in the short time I'd known him, but he wasn't about to speak ill of The Morrigan.
"You're all fixed up now. We can go to that ball the day after tomorrow." I tapped my chin in thought. "How soon do you think we should leave? I have no idea how hard it will be to make our way through Derinia to get there."
Graulfv chuckled. "I'm sure we can assume that it won't be easy. From my reading, gatherings like this are intentionally held in difficult locations. The lesser fae are kept out by virtue of them not being powerful enough to survive the trip."
I nodded, my lips set in a tight line. "Yep, that sounds about right for Faerie." I nodded again, more vigorously just to check the state of my head. "Hey, I'm not dizzy any more!" My stomach rumbled loudly. I scowled down at it. "And not only am I no longer nauseated, I'm starving."
"Sophie hungers!" boomed Graulfv, repeating his favorite joke at his own expense. "All is right with the world."
"But I just ate," I argued.
"And then you expended enough magic to lay yourself low," countered Graulfv.
I smiled at his archaic phrasing. "I guess it's time for round two of breakfast."
I always loved to eat, but for some reason my stomach knotted with apprehension. I should have remembered there are always consequences when you don't listen to your gut.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
There was palpable tension in the air when we entered the dining hall. My eyes automatically sought out the throne at the front of the room. As I expected, The Morrigan was sprawled across it, looking over the space with half lidded eyes.
I almost turned around and left. My stomach let out another rumble. A combination of hunger, and the knowledge that I couldn't avoid her forever if I wanted to leave Faerie, put my feet back in motion. Nothing in her demeanor changed, yet I still felt like I was under a microscope as I took a seat at the table I'd vacated only a half hour before.
The food had been replenished, so Graulfv and I heaped our plates full. Refusing to change my behavior because of her, I ate slowly, savoring every bite. Some part of me realized my behavior had changed anyway, but I celebrated the feeling of victory, and eventually, I almost forgot I was being observed.
Mostly, that was thanks to Graulfv. "So, I kicked one in the head and the other in the ass!"
I laughed, not really sure I understood what was funny, but unable to resist his delivery. He'd started telling stories as soon as I sat down. Most were stories from before he came to Faerie, and I liked those best. They were tales of being a carefree warrior among hundreds of the same. If he was to be believed, most of their time was spent drinking and boasting of their sexual prowess.
"You know, I was wondering about that," I said, my eyes scanning the room as if there would be an obvious answer. "I was raised by the banshees." By the spark of understanding in his eye, I didn't think I needed to explain to him that they weren't interested in sexual relationships. "Are you all gay? Celibate?"
Graulfv nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Our way of life can seem strange to outsiders." He looked around the room himself before turning back to me. "There are some of both," he said. "Several of the men take the calling to the service of The Morrigan as a holy calling like Christian priesthood, and thus take a vow of celibacy. And, like any other society, there are those that prefer the company of other men. Many of us have more varied tastes." His smile turned speculative. "I'm one of those, in case you were wondering."
"Is it weird that I asked?" I looked around to see if anyone else was listening. "I'm a fascination to my sisters. I didn't really get used to it; it's still weird. I probably shouldn't have asked you about it. I don't know why people are always so curious about what goes on in another person's bedroom." I took another couple of bites to hide my embarrassment.
"I suspect it's human nature. Even if one isn't looking for another sexual partner, they are always trying to classify others according to their potential as suitable possibilities."
"Not everyone," I clarified. "Banshees," I reminded him.
"That's true," h
e said. "I suppose it's difficult to ever talk about these things in general terms when there are so many humans and fae to take into account for the discussion. Some have explained these issues on a scale, like there is a line and one lands here or there, but I often think it's more complicated than that."
I chuckled. "Sounds like you've read a couple of books on sexuality."
He smiled unabashedly. "Human nature."
"I'm not human," I reminded him.
"And yet, unlike some fae, I see evidence of human nature in you," he countered. "It may be due to living on Earth, or perhaps the condition is ill-named. It was most certainly coined by someone ignorant of Faerie."
"Or maybe they knew," I argued. "Maybe they very much knew what they were saying, and the term came about to point out the differences."
"I believe we were just agreeing that a primary feature of human nature is curiosity," he said. "I doubt anyone could make a convincing argument that this was a difference between the humans and the fae."
"Butting into other people's business is a quality we all share."
"I read about this a lot," he said, looking at me now with that human nature lighting up his eyes. "Stories where humans talk about minding their own business. How does one decide what is their business?"
"I, um." I had to put my fork down. "You just kind of stay in your own lane, you know?"
"I don't know," he said. "What does this mean?"
I looked around the room at all the faces around us, everyone seemingly minding their own business. "You're like a million years old, Smarty. How do you not know what this means?"
"You're never too old to learn, Sophie."
"That was almost admonishing," I pointed out. He looked embarrassed, like he'd just remembered he was supposed to talk to me like I was better than him. "Don't turn red on me now. We talked about sex and you were fine." He didn't react, like he didn't see the connection I was making. I moved on. "Okay, minding your own business means that if something doesn't directly relate to you, you don't get involved."
His eyes widened. "That's ridiculous."
"No, it's not."
"Well, it's a ridiculous way to live life. I doubt anyone follows such a practice."
"Why do you think that?"
"Nothing interesting would ever happen if everyone refrained from involving themselves in someone else's business," he said. "No love, no war, no drama."
"Drama free is the way to be," I told him.
"For who?"
"You know, most older humans on Earth enjoy drama free lives."
"How do you know this to be true?"
"I mean, it's just a fact."
He cleared his throat. "You know I hate to say this, Sophie, but I think you may be misinformed on this issue."
"Look at you calling me ignorant."
"I didn't say—"
"No, no, don't detract from this moment, old man. You're disagreeing with me in a straightforward way, no playing games to get around it." Whenever he'd wanted to guide me before, he'd often worded things so I could almost take the credit for the idea myself. Like he didn't want to draw too much attention to the fact that he was talking. He'd always been so careful when talking to me. "This is a milestone moment for us."
"Is that a good thing?"
"Yes." I gestured between us. "We're bonding."
He went from worried to beaming faster than my eyes could track.
I grinned. "So, do you have a boyf—"
The Morrigan cleared her throat loudly from her perch on the throne. It was so harsh I wondered if it had been magically amplified. Until then, I'd almost managed to forget she was sitting there like a vulture waiting for someone to die.
"I think that means I've been summoned," I said, not bothering to lower my voice. "It's not like I have a name or anything."
Graulfv's demeanor changed instantly. If I hadn't been looking, I would have missed his flicker of amusement before it was hidden by an austere mask. He stood when I did, and followed me to the throne. It looked like I had a sidekick.
"You have more than a day until the ball. We shall take this time to do more training." She looked so far down her nose at me that it looked like her head might snap off if she tipped it any further back. "To the courtyard."
She burst into a swirl of feathers and then dissolved into smoke before disappearing.
"Walking a couple hundred feet is beneath her," I said, shaking my head.
Graulfv let out an involuntary snort.
Outside, once again, a gathering of clansmen stood off to the edge of the clearing. This time it made my stomach clench. Did she really expect me to play this game again?
I marched up to The Morrigan, my thudding footfalls announcing my displeasure. Not that she showed any sign of awareness. She probably noticed, she just didn't care.
"Throw one of those delightful balls of death to me," she said, her eyes alight with fascination.
"We did this already," I said. "What kind of training is it if I do the same thing over and over again?"
"It is called practice," replied The Morrigan, her tone light. "Shall I have one of them retrieve a dictionary for you?"
I took a deep breath. Every time The Morrigan spoke, I considered fighting whatever she said. None of that would get me away from her any sooner. I needed to do what needed doing, and get the heck out of Faerie. However, this particular request was unacceptable. It wasn't something I was going to do, period. The only question was, how did I get out of it without making things worse? My temper had a lot of tempting suggestions.
"I won't kill people for your amusement. If I throw a death light at you, you'll redirect it to one of them. That was not part of the deal. You said I had to practice my magic. I will do that, but not at the cost of others' lives." It wasn't a refusal of a spirit of the deal, so technically I was still safe. Look at me, being diplomatic.
The Morrigan nodded. "That is absolutely true. You did not explicitly agree to kill people as part of your training." And then she muttered, "Though I don't know what you believed training in death magic would amount to." She looked thoughtfully at the group of men clustered less than ten yards away. "You are opposed to being made to kill them. Fortunately, I do not share in those reservations. Perhaps I shall kill them all, and then we'll see how many you can bring back before you collapse."
I expected her to blur into motion as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but she didn't. She just looked at me expectantly. I knew she wasn't waiting for me to respond to her proposal. Her quirked eyebrow was practically mocking me, urging me to figure out my misstep. The conversation we'd just had played back through my mind. "You didn't ask me to kill anyone." I'd made the assumption, based on our last interaction. It was logical, but not much of what The Morrigan did was based in logic. "You only asked me to throw one of my death lights to you. Will you promise not to use it to kill a clansman?"
"No," she replied, a cruel smile spreading across her red lips. "But I can promise you that I will kill them all if you refuse."
Trapped. There was no wiggle room in what she said. If I refused to throw her a death light, she would kill the twenty or so men standing there with worshipful awe plaguing their faces. And if she was doing it as a punishment to me, it wouldn't be quick. They would suffer. If she used my death light on one of them, at least it would be quick, and I might still have a chance to bring them back. I had no real choice.
My head sagged between my shoulders. I should have found another way to save Owen. I couldn't count how many times he'd looked at me, and I knew he was thinking the same thing. He didn't say it, because he didn't want to hurt me, but we both knew. It had been reckless to ask for her help, no matter the situation.
A glowing orb appeared above my right palm. The corner of The Morrigan's mouth drew higher. I knew it was likely to make her mad, but I dialed down the power in my death light to stun. It would only knock someone unconscious. I tossed it at her with a casual flick of my wrist.
; The ball of magic sped across the twenty feet between us, and instead of redirecting it, she let it hit her in the chest. Her smile ticked up briefly, then turned down into a frown. "Don't trifle with me, or I will start the process of ripping these men apart." She swept the clansmen with her gaze and stopped when she came to Graulfv. "Oh, someone is looking perky again." She turned to look at me. "You healed him." Her eyes narrowed. "You care about him." Her smile returned, even more wicked than before. "If you don't throw your strongest magic at me, I'll start with him."
Bile rose in my throat. She was so sick. I hated everything about her. I swallowed the bitter taste and summoned my magic. I dialed the intensity of the magic up as high as I could force it, and flung my arm at her. The magic released like a shot and crossed the space between us in an instant.
The Morrigan opened her arms and welcomed it like a friend running into her embrace. When the white orb hit her chest and disappeared, she stumbled back, her smile gone, her gaze turned speculative. "Another," she said.
When I hesitated, she looked meaningfully at Graulfv. "Damn you!" I threw another ball of magic, this time aiming at her face.
When it hit, I swear she stumbled again. Was it hurting her?
"Another!"
No, this had to be a trick. I started to lower my hand, and with a few long, smooth strides she was was standing in front of Graulfv, her pale hand wrapped around his throat. "Do not test me further."
The simmering rage I hadn't noticed flared and boiled over. I'd once been trapped inside a cage in the castle we stood next to, but I doubted I'd ever felt as trapped as I did now. I couldn't stand it anymore. Heat radiated all the way from my chest to my fingers. It had felt like I'd put everything I had into the last death light, but somehow, I found more. I summoned an orb to both palms. Maybe, just maybe, I could kill her if I overwhelmed her with death magic. I tossed both lights at her, willing them to hit with all the speed and force I could muster. Not that it mattered to the magic, but it appealed to the anger boiling in my gut.