She had me there. "Maybe I read your diary."
She glared at me. "I know that's not possible anymore. I made sure of that after finding out you read it last year."
"You knew about that?"
"You're not the only smart one around here. I may not be a genius, but I'm not dumb either. I play just dumb enough to be able to use it to my advantage. There's a secret of mine, now tell me yours. How did you find out about Braydon?"
I took a deep breath, thinking about how much I could safely tell her.
"Wait a minute," she said, interrupting my thoughts. "Was that you in the field the other night?"
The look of shock on my face said everything that I didn't.
"That was you? But how…what…? I don't understand." Her face held a mixture of embarrassment and confusion. "That's just not possible."
"I wasn't trying to spy on you or anything like that," I told her. "I was just sitting in that tree, thinking about…life. Then you two showed up and I wanted to leave and give you guys privacy, but I couldn't get away unnoticed. So I tried not to pay attention to what you were doing or saying, but I couldn't help notice the smell wafting up to me or the heated tones."
"I can't believe that you know about all of that."
"Believe me. I haven't had a lot of time to think about it. I've had enough going on in my own life. I wanted to make sure that you were okay, but I haven't had the time aside from just asking you how you were doing."
"How did you…? In that field, I mean. It was like you weren't even human. I thought it was like a…a…I don't know what I thought."
"It's pretty complicated," I admitted. "I don't even know if you would believe me."
"Considering that it was you the other night, I think I could believe just about anything," she said, looking at me.
I took a deep breath. "I found out about my birth parents and that was just the beginning of some really intense craziness."
"Does it have to do with the mind reading and the exploding glass too?"
"Yeah, it does."
"Well you have to tell me. I've been so curious to know what's up because it's so obvious that you were adopted. I can't believe you kept this from me."
I smiled. "It is so crazy and I didn't even believe it at first. Just promise me that you won't tell anyone, even if you don't believe what I'm going to tell you."
"You're still my sister even if you're not blood related."
My heart started racing as I thought about how to come out and say that I was becoming a vampire. I had images of her laughing at me or slapping me.
"Come on already, spit it out. I can't take the suspense."
"Okay, sorry. Well, when I was about three years old, I was taken from my birth parents in the middle of the night by someone who knew our parents. The people who took me were trying to protect me and they…told our parents not to tell anyone."
She looked at me with disbelief. "You've got to be leaving stuff out there. It doesn't make sense."
I was testing the waters to see how she would react before announcing that I was a mythical, blood-sucking creature of the night.
"You're right," I admitted. "They actually changed Mom and Dad's memories and gave them that story about the flood. That's why our parents are so adamant about the flood and me being their daughter."
"Seriously?" Her eyes were so wide that I was afraid they would pop out of her head. "That's insane, but it actually makes a lot of sense if you think about it. Tell me more."
"What do you want to know about?" I asked.
"How were the people who took you able to change mom and dad's memories? Was it some kind of drug or something?"
"No, it wasn't any kind of drug…."
"Did they threaten them? Did they scare them so bad that they couldn't remember the real past?"
"No, they didn't use…."
"Was it the mafia? Are you a mafia baby?"
"Well, it's something like that."
"It all makes sense now." she exclaimed. "Why you would be stolen and given away, and why our parents can't remember the truth. It's just like a movie."
I didn't know whether to laugh or be frustrated. I also didn't know whether to leave it at that or tell her the even crazier truth.
Her phone buzzed. She looked at it and said, "I have to talk to Sydney but before I do, I have to tell you this. Whatever you do, don't act needy with Cliff. I don't know what you two fought about, but I can tell you that guys hate that needy stuff. You have to act all tough and put together or they feel trapped and push you away further. It won't get you anywhere. We'll finish this discussion later, mafia baby." She winked at me and left the room, already engrossed in her cell phone.
We would definitely have to finish that conversation. I couldn't have her believing that I was a mafia baby.
I realized that I hadn't touched my homework all weekend, so I got started because I was sure that my grades were already starting to slip. I was beginning to care a lot less though, because if I was going to be running the entire world of vampires, I didn't think that my high school education was going to help me out that much.
***
The next morning, I was getting ready for school when I suddenly felt that I wasn't alone. I was almost getting used to that. Almost.
I turned around to see Brooke sitting on my bed.
"I haven't been bad," I told her. "I haven't snuck out at all, I haven't had any blood."
"That's not what I'm here about," she replied.
I sighed. "What is it?"
"Have you seen Cliff?" she asked.
"Not since yesterday. He told me to get out of his sight, so I did. I spent the rest of the day in my room crying, and then I did homework. I was hoping that he would call because he said he would call when he calmed down. Why do you ask?"
"He's gone," she told me.
"What? What do you mean he's gone?" I demanded.
"When I got home last night, he wasn't there and nobody else had seen him either. He didn't return last night and he's still gone."
"Did he tell anyone where he was going?"
"No, and he didn't leave any notes either," she said and then looked me in the eyes. "He must be extremely upset. You really hurt him."
I looked at my lap. "I know I did. You don't need to make me feel worse."
"Don't you get it?" she exclaimed. "He's gone. Nobody knows where he is, Alexis. This is not about you or your feelings. He hasn't even contacted his parents. Nobody knows where he is."
"Does he usually tell his parents where he is?"
"He keeps in close contact with them. They are not only his parents, but also his superiors, because he is learning from them how to lead our kind. He only ever took off without telling them one other time, and that was when he was in his transition."
"He probably just went somewhere to think," I said. "He needs some space."
"No kidding, Alexis. But the problem is that he hasn't even bothered to contact anyone about his location. If you happen to see him or hear from him, text me immediately."
"I will," I promised.
She looked at me and her face softened. "I know you're worried and I know that you love him. You didn't mean to hurt him. There's no doubt about that and I know that you didn't want any of this to happen. Don't be too hard on yourself. I truly can't imagine what it would be like to be exposed to blood in the way that you were. If you need any blood, let me know and I'll get you some."
I nodded, with a tear running down my face.
"Be strong. You're going to be queen someday, so use this as training for that."
"Okay," I whispered.
She went through my wall and was gone.
I turned around and looked at the beautiful face staring back at me in the mirror. Life was so much simpler when I was boring and unattractive. That wasn't the course I was meant for, though. I was destined for greatness, and I hoped that I wouldn't ruin it for myself or my people.
I sighed and told the girl in th
e mirror, "You've got to pull yourself together and stop acting like you have been. There is too much at stake and so much to learn. Get it together."
***
I searched for Cliff at school but he was not there. There were a few spots where he would usually hang out in the mornings to meet me, but he was in none of those places. Each time I saw one of the spots empty, I felt pangs of disappointment and guilt.
I moped through my classes, barely paying attention and avoiding people as much as possible. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, and I was sure that if I did, I would most likely start crying.
At one point, I almost ran into Hailey and Emma but I saw them and ducked into a classroom before they saw me. I was sure that on any other day I could handle them just fine, but on this day I was not so sure of myself.
They still considered themselves my arch enemies. I hadn't had the time to figure out what they were plotting and I wanted to be ready before talking to them, at least while I was in this frame of mind.
I could feel myself getting depressed as I started to feel more and more like a huge chunk of myself had been ripped from me. Nothing else mattered except finding Cliff and making everything right.
As I was entering the combination for my locker to get ready to go home for the day, someone said from behind me, "Hi there, I haven't seen you all day. Where have you been hiding?"
I whipped around only to see Tanner. "Oh, it's you. Would you go away? I'm really not in the mood."
"That's not what you were saying a couple nights ago," he grinned.
"Look Tanner, that was a mistake. It had everything to do with my new, crazy cravings and I didn't mean it. It wasn't even me."
"Oh, it was definitely you. It was the best you that I've ever seen. You finally quit being all stuffy and had some real passion for a change."
I sighed. "It was a mistake. It's not going to happen again. I'm going get some bagged blood or something, so I won't need your services anymore."
"Whoa. Wait a minute—don't be so hasty. We can do this without any affection. I need this as much as you do. We had an agreement."
"I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place. I'm sorry I haven't been myself at all since…well since you did this to me. No, I'm not sorry. Go find someone else to help you out."
"You'll be back. I know you will. Text me when you change your mind. I'll meet you anywhere, anytime."
"Fantastic," I replied. "Be sure to hold your breath while you wait." I slammed my locker shut and stormed off.
I almost ran into Amanda while I was speeding towards my car.
"Where have you been all day?" she asked. "You were acting strange the other night and now you've been avoiding me. Did I do something to offend you?"
"No, I'm sorry. I've been really preoccupied because Cliff and I had a fight. I can't get my mind off of it. He didn't even come to school today."
"Oh no," she replied. "Can I do anything?"
My lip quivered and I shook my head no.
"Let me know if you want me to take you out for dessert or coffee or something. I wouldn't even mind if you were quiet the whole time."
"Thanks, Amanda. You're a true friend. I don't feel like doing much of anything right now, but I'll give you a call if that changes."
"If you're still mopey tomorrow, then I'm taking you out for dessert whether you want to or not."
I half smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate it."
***
I drove to Brooke's house, hoping and praying that Cliff had returned or had contacted someone. I hadn't received any texts, so I didn't expect that to be a reality.
Inside, Brooke, Steve and I sat in the living room, and I was reminded of that horrible afternoon when I blacked out from the intensity of that headache.
"So nobody has even heard anything from him?" I asked.
"Nothing," Steve said. "This is so unlike him."
I buried my face into my hands. "What have I done?"
"We know that he is extremely intelligent and he's a top fighter, so at least we don't have to worry too much about his safety," Brooke said. "He can take care of himself and then some."
"Isn't there anything that I can do?" I asked. "We have a special connection. It seems like there would be something that I could do that nobody else could."
"Like what?" Brooke asked.
"I'd say you pretty much lost the rights to that 'special connection,' wouldn't you?" Steve asked.
"I made one mistake," I said. "I know it was a horrible mistake, but it was still a mistake. If I didn't have to deal with this horribly intense desire for blood, nothing would have happened in the first place."
"Or if you would have talked to us we could have helped you get blood," Steve retorted.
"Maybe I would have felt like I could, if you guys hadn't locked me in a room like a criminal."
"If you could figure out how to go through a wall, you could have gone through to the house instead of outside to act like a savage."
"I didn't know how until I went through that wall on the outside. By then I was already outside."
"You could have knocked on the door and someone would have gotten you."
"Maybe you should have left me a note instead of letting me wake up locked in a strange room all by myself. Or better yet not locking me in a room by myself."
"Enough, you two." Brooke looked back and forth between the two of us. "Arguing isn't going to find him. There were mistakes on both sides and we're going to all have to answer for our own mistakes."
"Who do we have to answer to?" I asked.
"Your parents, of course," Steve said, rolling his eyes.
"I'm pretty sure that they will find me the victim in all of this," I told him.
"You don't know them too well, do you?" Steve asked with a smirk.
"How would I, since I haven't seen them since I was so young?" I demanded. "Everybody has been so busy all of these years trying to 'protect' me that it's all turned around to work against me now. If I would have known what I was, I would have been prepared for this transition. I would know what to expect and it would be a lot more natural. Instead, everything catches me by surprise and I haven't a clue about anything. You've all left me to figure this out on my own."
"It's clear that you see yourself as the victim," Steve muttered.
I narrowed my eyes. "Easy for you say. You haven't gone through what I have. I grew up not even knowing who or what I was. Now I have all of this to deal with. I am a very smart person and I could figure this all out on my own if I had to. Wait, I pretty much have had to do that! I would make a lot less mistakes if you guys would tell me more and keep me out of the dark."
"Back to that again? You could have just as easily come to us when you had a question or the need for blood. We're vampires, we can help you out. In fact it's our job to help you out."
"I'd say you haven't been doing your job." I got up from the couch and stormed out of the house, slamming the door.
I heard Steve say, "She's making Cliff's transition look like a stroll in the park."
I decided to sit on the front steps and listen in with my supersonic hearing.
"Don't you think you were being rough on her?" Brooke asked.
"You know that we have to be tough when someone is in their transition, Brooke."
"She has a point about being blindsided by all of this. We should have told her about turning into a vampire long before we did."
"Life is tough, and she's been dealt some rough cards. You know what I think?" Steve asked. "It's going to make her into a better leader. Everything that she's gone through will make her stronger and will give her compassion for others."
"If you keep acting like this, you're going to push her away. Yes, we need to be tough on those going through the transition, but we need to extend her some of that compassion that you're talking about. We can't even imagine what it's like for her. Cliff has more of an idea because he's gone through an extra crazy transition, but he's obviously not here. N
one of us knows what it's like to be raised by humans, thinking that we're one too. Much less being the Sonnast."
"You know, it might be for the best that Cliff isn't here to talk us into babying her. Maybe that's the reason that he's staying away. He knows that he's too close to make any rational decision regarding her. He would wrap her up in bubble wrap and give her everything that she wants, if he had his way."
"He's away because he's hurt by what she did," Brooke said. "He's giving himself time to think and calm down because he doesn't want to react with jealousy. He knows his own strength. He doesn't want to do anything to compromise his relationship with her."
"I can buy that too, but at the same time, I think that he knows it's best for him not to make any decisions regarding her right now. Even with his jealousy and anger, he would still want us to go way too easy on her."
"What are we going to do, Steve? Cliff is gone, our parents are back at the castle and now she's mad at us."
"Let's hope that she doesn't do anything stupid. That's all we can really do right now."
Remembering why I had stormed out of the house in the first place, I got up from the steps and got into my new car.
FIFTEEN
I sat on the park bench, watching the lake to calm my nerves. The longer that Cliff was away without knowing where he was, the worse that I felt. It was like someone had literally torn out a major part of me. I was raw and exposed.
There was a growing emptiness deep inside, like I had never felt before. I wasn't sure if this was what it felt like to be depressed, but I felt miserable. I wanted to go into hiding myself.
Then there was the guilt. I couldn't stop beating myself up for what I had done. I knew that it was because of the blood and the transition, but I couldn't forgive myself. Before the all of this had begun, I was the most levelheaded, rational person around. People had made fun of me for it.
Since the transition had begun, I had been acting like someone else and it was driving me crazy. I didn't know who this irrational, stylish and popular girl was.
I believed there had to be a way to find or communicate with Cliff. We were unique even for vampires, and there had to be a way. The only problem was that I didn't have any clue where to begin.
The Transformed Box Set: Books 1, 2, 3, 3.5 Page 15