"I'll take a taxi or something."
"What'll I tell your parents?"
"It's late. They'll be sleeping. Just drop off my car and get yours. I'll deal with them in the morning."
"This just isn't right. Let's grab some coffee or something and you can talk to me."
"That's the thing. I don't want to talk. There's nothing to talk about. I need to be alone to process everything. I need to figure out what it means and what I need to do."
"Lexy, I'm really worried about you. Let me—"
"I really appreciate your concern. Really, I do. I promise I'll make it home safely. I need to deal with this on my own."
She sighed. "I don't feel right about this."
"I'm sorry to ruin our shopping trip. I'll make it up to you later." I hung up the phone, not wanting to argue anymore. I couldn't explain anymore without telling her that I was a vampire, and I really wanted her kept out of all of that. The phone rang again, and I clicked ignore before shutting it off.
I looked around for the nearest exit and made my way through the mass of people. As soon as I opened the door and felt the cold, fresh air on my face, I broke into a run. I scanned the horizon for signs of a forest. I couldn't see anything, but thought I heard faint sounds to the east. I turned left and picked up speed.
A lump formed in my throat as I ran, and I was certain that it would choke me. My tears flowed out of my eyes, and flew off my face as I ran at such a high speed. Usually, when I ran I felt such freedom, but not that time. I wanted to keep running until I disappeared and couldn't feel anything anymore.
When I reached the woods, I kept running. I wasn't tired, and I wasn't ready to sit and think about how the entire trajectory of my life had just taken a sudden turn for the worse. More than that, how all of my hopes and dreams had been smashed to bits and pieces, essentially giving me no more reason to continue on. I didn't want anything to do with a life that didn't include Clifford Montgomery.
Ever since he'd returned to my life, he was all that I wanted. We were meant to be together, and because of the engagement blessing that had been placed on us as children, we couldn't stand to be apart. He'd been tortured as I grew up with my human family away from him, not remembering any of my vampire life, and ever since he'd come back into my life, I'd gone into a depression whenever he'd disappeared. We weren't meant to be apart.
What had happened during the time that I couldn't remember? Had Alrekur done something to him? What could possibly cause Cliff to claim that he didn't know me? There was no way that he couldn't remember me. It simply wasn't possible. Unless whoever had messed with my memories had gotten to his too. But if that were the case, what was he doing so close to Delphic Cove? Aside from me, he would have no business in that part of the state. It didn't make any sense. He had to have been looking for me. He just had to have been.
As I went over my encounter with Cliff over and over again, I slowed down until I was no longer running. I was deep into the woods, and noticed a brown bear watching me. I wasn't in the mood for killing anything, so I willed my fangs out and bared my teeth at the animal. It turned around and ran in the other direction, growling.
I climbed up the nearest tree and made myself comfortable in the branches, still holding my shopping bag, and let myself wail. Was it really the end of Cliff and me? Had I really signed his death warrant? Was it possible that he had cut a deal with Alrekur, agreeing to stop pursuing me in exchange for his life?
Once again, I had a strong desire to end Alrekur's life. I should have done it when I'd had the chance. The day when we were fighting before he had killed Tanner. Why hadn't I tried just a little harder to get rid of him? I was the Sonnast, if anyone could kill him it had to have been me.
I began to feel dizzy, and my brain felt as though it had a tickle. Was this what it felt like when I was about to have a memory lapse? Was it possible that I had seen him, or another vampire, before? Could that be what was setting off the smaller lapses, when I could remember coming back to Delphic Cove, but not forgetting everything?
If that was the case, I had to find a way to tell myself to forget about Cliff and move on. He obviously wanted nothing to do with me and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life depressed and wasting away. As I felt the dizziness overtaking me, I kept repeating to myself over and over, "Move on from Cliff. Forget about Cliff," until I finally passed out.
Six
My ringing cell phone woke me up. I rolled over in bed and grabbed it from the floor. Why had I left it on the floor? I looked at the screen and saw Amanda's smiling face.
I accepted the call. "Hi, Amanda. What's up?" I asked, feeling groggy.
"What's up?" she asked, sounding upset. "You're asking me what's up?"
"Did I do something?"
She sighed. "You think?" she asked, practically yelling.
"I really can't remember. Can you fill me in? I'm sorry if I upset you."
"Upset doesn't begin to describe it! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? Don't ever do that to me again! Where are you?"
"I'm in my bed."
"That's not surprising. I'm sure you're tired after last night. I have to go somewhere with my mom this afternoon, which by the way has already started, if you didn't know that it's after noon. We need to talk when I get back. You'll be around?"
"I think so," I said, sitting up. How could it be the afternoon? My parents never let me sleep past eight on Thanksgiving. They would want me cleaning the house from top to bottom, starting with the top of the refrigerator. "Are you still there?" Amanda asked.
"Yeah. I'm just trying to figure out why my parents are letting me sleep so late."
"Because we were shopping so late. I'm sure they were sleeping when you got back—not that I'd know!"
"Shopping late? We didn't—"
"Seriously? You're going with a memory loss again? Is that your go-to excuse for everything now?"
"What?"
"What day do you think it is?"
"Think? I know it's Thanksgiving. Or it should be."
"Look around your room. See a Coach bag?"
I scanned my room, and then saw the paper bag in question. I jumped out of bed and pulled out the three shoe boxes. A receipt fell to the floor, and I looked at the date, which was early in the morning, the day after Thanksgiving. "Crap. What happened?"
"That's what I'd like to know."
"What do you know? Because I can guarantee it's more than I know."
"The blue shoes are yours; the brown ones are for—"
"Not the shoes!"
"Just seeing if you were paying attention. We got separated in the crowd and when I called you, you said you thought you saw Cliff. You were really upset and I couldn't understand most of what you were saying. You wanted to get away from the crowd of people and you told me to take your car back to your house. When I told you I was worried, you didn't care."
I sighed. "I'm really sorry, Amanda. I can't remember any of that. I would never hurt you on purpose. You say that I thought I saw Cliff? Or did I actually see him?"
"I don't know. I wasn't there—we'd gotten separated. I called you and…hold on. I'm coming, Mom! Calm down! Lex, I have to go before my mom has a conniption. If we can't get together today, then tomorrow for sure, okay?"
"Yeah. Sure. Sorry again, Amanda."
"Whatever. I'll call you when I get back. We'll talk then." The call ended and I put my phone on the desk.
What had happened? We went shopping after Thanksgiving dinner and I thought I saw Cliff…or I really saw him? No. That wasn't possible. My head began to tingle as I thought about Cliff. I laughed a most unhappy laugh. There was no way that I had seen him. He hadn't bothered to contact me in the last three months since I had returned to my human family. Why would he suddenly show up at a mall? I didn't need him and I didn't want to think about him, either. What had he done for me lately?
I put the shoe boxes back in the bag and stuffed the bag in my closet. I'd figure out what I
had bought for whom later. I gathered some clothes to wear after a shower when I heard my door open. My mom walked in and looked at me in surprise. "You're up already. What time did you get in? I woke up around three and your bed was still empty."
"I'm not sure. I didn't look at the time. You know Amanda—she takes shop until you drop literally."
She smiled. "That's for sure. You guys are always gone for hours and hours when you head to the mall. Were the malls crazy?"
How would I know? I smiled back. "Not any worse than I had expected."
"Oh good. Well, Dad wants to go to the tree farm after dinner to find the perfect one. Think you'll be up for it?"
"I wouldn't miss it."
"Great. I'll let him know. Want me to warm up some leftovers for you?"
"Thanks. I'll have them after my shower."
"Okay," she said, and then left, closing the door behind her.
When I had my entire outfit picked out, I stopped. I realized that I felt really good, as in much better than I had felt in over a month. Why would I suddenly feel so much better after having felt awful for so long? Had I done something different during the time I had blacked out? What would I have done?
Suddenly, it hit me. My feeling better could only mean one thing: I had to have drunk blood. My stomach dropped. Who? When? How much? I hoped that I hadn't finished anyone off. I had been trying to avoid that, but it had been so long since I'd had any blood that I didn't see how I could have avoided drying someone completely.
I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't likely that I would remember, and there was nothing that I could do about it anyway. What was done was done. I had to pull myself together and act like everything was fine so that my parents wouldn't suspect anything. If they thought I was having regular lapses, they would want me to get professional help. I couldn't let that happen. There was no way that I could begin to explain all of the vampire stuff and appear normal. I'd get locked away for sure. Considering that I couldn't go through walls anymore, it would be extremely difficult to get away without hurting anyone.
The afternoon went by seamlessly as I stayed in my room and did my homework. I didn't understand why teachers gave assignments over holiday weekends, but I was glad for the excuse to hide out in my room. The distraction was nice too, since I didn't want to think about having a memory lapse. I couldn't believe that I'd had one because I thought I'd seen Cliff.
Was I seriously that pathetic? If he didn't care enough about me to try to find me all these months that we'd been separated, then why did I care about him? The last thing I remembered, he was furious at me, and here I was, spending all this time and energy waiting on him, worried. I'd been letting myself waste away and be miserable. What kind of existence was that? Even though I was back to living my human life, I was still the vampire Sonnast. I shouldn't have been wasting my life away when I could be having fun and enjoying myself.
By the time that my dad knocked on the door to see if I was ready, I was more than ready. We all piled into his Escalade as he attached the special trailer we used each year for bringing home the tree.
"Where's the Christmas music?" Natalie asked. "We have to have Christmas music."
"Let me find the station," our mom said, playing with the radio buttons. "Oh, there it is. Does everyone have their singing voices warmed up?"
I smiled, excited for the traditions that I'd been used to since I was three. "Let's find out."
When my dad climbed into the driver's seat, we were all singing along with the radio. "This is what I love! My family is together, singing holiday songs, on our way to get a tree." He started singing along with us, and we sang for the entire hour-long drive to the tree farm.
As we climbed out of the car into the muddy parking lot, we were all in the holiday spirit, ready to find the perfect tree and get it home to decorate it. Natalie and I waited as our parents got all of the tree-cutting equipment ready. The owner of the farm walked over to us, recognizing us from every other year.
"You're back," he said to me, with a twinkle in his eye. "How was your foreign exchange experience last year?"
"It was great," I said, not wanting to think about it.
He nodded. "Not many people get to experience that. Did you get a chance to meet the girl who was living with your family?"
"Clara was here for a little while before I left my trip," I said, not wanting to think about my vampire cousin who had been sent to live with my family when I was going through my transition. She was on the long list of vampires that I hadn't seen since I had mysteriously returned. If they didn't care enough to try to contact me, then I didn't want to think about them. How difficult would it have been to give me a call or email me?
"Good, good. Let me go see if I can help your parents." He walked around us to the trailer and talked with my parents as if they were old friends. I supposed that was how he kept people as returning customers, treating them like family and remembering details about them.
They came around to where Natalie and I were standing. Natalie was watching a family that had just arrived. I could tell that she was eying the teenage son. She and her boyfriend, Braydon, had gotten into a big fight before school ended for the long weekend.
"Still mad at Braydon?" I asked.
"Ugh. He was totally staring at Hailey Adams right in front me. Can you believe his nerve? Stupid jerk."
"I don't even know why you're with him."
Natalie glared at me. "You're supposed to tell me how great he is, not that you don't like him."
"Oh. Sorry. Braydon's a great guy," I said, sounding far less than convincing.
"Nice. What's been with you lately anyway?
"What do you mean?"
"You're so up and down. Sometimes you're so happy and fun, like today. But then other times, you're like emo or something."
"Emo?" I asked, shaking my head. "No. Definitely not."
"You know what I mean. All gloom and doom. You're always depressed in your room, barely coming out or speaking to anyone. Sometimes it seems like we're making progress, you know, becoming friends again. But other times, it's like we don't get along at all. I really want to be friends, Lex. You're my sister, and even though I don't say it much, I love you."
I felt uncomfortable for a second, because we weren't typically emotional with each other, but it was exactly the change that I wanted in my life, so I wrapped my arms around her and could feel her stiffen in surprise for a moment, but then she squeezed me back.
"Now that's what I like to see!" our dad exclaimed from behind us. "I think this is going to be our best Christmas season yet. We've got both of our girls home with us—and they're getting along. I couldn't ask for anything more."
The owner nodded to my parents. "I'm so glad that she was found safe and sound after being abducted. I remember seeing that on the news when it happened," he said, shaking his head. "Then I was really surprised to find that she was on a trip so soon after that last year when you all came to get your tree."
"Let's not bring that up," my mom said.
My dad wrapped an arm around her. "We're not sure how we got talked into that, but it was a difficult time. The good thing is that it's all behind us now and we have both of our daughters with us, safe and sound."
"I'm very happy for you guys," the owner said. "Well, I won't keep you. You have a tree to cut. Let me know if you need anything, anything at all."
"Thanks," my parents said unison, as he walked away to talk with another family.
"Which direction should we go?" asked my mom.
"They all look so good," Natalie said. "We could pick one right here by the parking lot."
"Blasphemy," said Dad, smiling. "We came out here to find the perfect tree, not just cut down the first one we see."
I scanned the horizon with my superior vision. The sun was starting to set, so we would need to hurry. I pointed to the left. "Looks like there are nice Douglas Firs over that way. Are we going to get one of those again?"
"Yeah!" Nat
alie agreed. "Those are my favorite."
"Sounds like a good choice. Let's go."
We made our way through the trees and split up as we always did. It was a race to see who could find the best one. Whoever did, got to swing the first chop. Natalie and I didn't really care about that anymore, but it was still fun to have the competition, and our parents always got a picture of the first swing, and when we brought out all of the decorations, out came all of the first-swing pictures.
As I was looking at the trees, I kept noticing someone in the periphery of my vision. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but when it kept happening, it started to bug me. It got to the point where I was only pretending to look at trees, but I was actually scanning for someone in the distance. Whenever I did see what looked like a person, it was always just out of my line of sight. I could almost convince myself that it was all in my mind. Those days, that was easily believable. But I knew that someone was there.
I could hear my dad calling for us, asking if anyone had found the perfect tree. Obviously, I hadn't, so I walked toward the direction of his voice. I nearly stopped because I had the skin-crawling feeling of being watched. I knew that I hadn't been imaging the person nearby, but that was proof. With my strong senses, I knew when I was being watched. I could have turned and attacked, but I didn't feel any danger. Maybe it was that teenager from the parking lot.
When I got to my family, Natalie was practically jumping with joy. "Can you beat this one, Lex? Booyah!"
I couldn't help laughing. "No, I didn't see any nearly that good."
"Natalie wins! Give her the ax, Jack."
Mom pulled out the camera as Dad handed my sister the ax. Natalie posed with the ax as Mom snapped the first picture. Natalie danced around, making funny poses, as the camera clicked away. Finally, she took the first swing and then gave the ax to our dad, who cut the tree the rest of the way. Then we all carried the tree to the parking lot to pay for it.
Just before we reached the lot, I could feel that I was being watched. "I think I dropped something back there," I said. "I'll be right back."
The Transformed Box Set: Books 1, 2, 3, 3.5 Page 101