I looked up again at him, wanting nothing more than to shove my desk aside and leap over his, into his lap. I thought that I actually might, so I squeezed my chair, just to be safe. I tried once again to focus on the papers that I was supposed to be grading, but they may as well have been written Greek. I stared at them for what felt like an eternity. Finally, I tried to sneak another peek at him.
He was watching me again. "Are you okay?" he asked. "You aren't working."
I looked at him, eager to kiss him, trying to find the right words. I hoped that he returned my feelings, but I didn't want to humiliate myself by saying anything. On the other hand, if I didn't say something, I might just find myself jumping into his embrace.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"You," I said, immediately regretting it. What was I thinking, saying that?
A smile spread across his handsome face, and suddenly my regret left. "What were you thinking?" he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, suddenly feeling shy. What could I tell him? My feelings were wrong, so wrong.
"If you ever want to talk with me, you can," he said, looking as though he wanted to say more. "We can even set up a time outside of school to talk if you'd feel more comfortable."
I continued to look at him, still at a loss for words. I needed to find something to say before I scared him off. I nodded and my mouth started talking without my permission again. "I'd like that."
He held my eye contact and I could feel that he really did want to say more. "There's a coffee shop just outside of town if you'd like to meet there. You seem to like coffee."
I nodded and he wrote down the address, and then got up and handed it to me.
"So, I'll be there writing lesson plans after school if you happen to show up," he said, and then grinned, nearly causing me to melt into a puddle.
Smiling, I nodded, indicating that I'd be there. I wasn't used to feeling shy, but I also wasn't used to being in love with a werewolf. That was the moment I decided wholeheartedly that if none of the vampires cared enough to find me, I didn't care about letting myself fall in love with a werewolf. They could take that and eat it for breakfast.
While I finished up the papers, I kept peeking at Mr. Foley, and half the time, he would look up too, and smile. I either smiled shyly or looked back down. It was completely new territory for me, and I wasn't sure how to handle myself. One thing was for sure: If I was going to meet him later, I would have to pull myself together.
After the bell rang, I walked to his desk and put the pile down, holding his gaze the entire way. My hand lingered on the pile, and he put his hand on mine.
A small gasp escaped from my mouth. His touch was so warm, especially compared to my cool skin. We continued to hold our eye contact. His gaze seemed to go right to the core of my being.
His fingers tightened around my hand, and I swallowed air. I longed to reach across the desk and run my fingers through his hair. I could see hunger in his eyes too. He wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him.
My mouth started talking before I had a chance to think. It was as though my vocal chords acted on their own, skipping my brain altogether. "I love you." My eyes widened, and I covered my mouth with my free hand before I could say anything else. For the longest moment of my life, I waited for his reaction. Would he laugh at me? Would he tell me to grow up and find someone my own age, or my own species?
The corners of his mouth twitched, and then he broke into a full smile. He guided me around the desk with his hand that was holding mine. He pulled me close, so that the front of my legs touched his knees. He tugged at my arm so that my face was only inches from his. I had to put my free hand on his leg to balance myself.
Everything overwhelmed me. I didn't know where to put my attention. I could hardly breathe. I was so excited about having my lips so close to his. My hand felt afire resting on his leg.
"And I love you," he said. "Keeping it to myself has been torture to my soul."
I took a slow breath. Before I could say anything, the sounds of students in the hall distracted me. Before any human eye could see, I ran around the desk.
"Maybe I'll see you later," he said, sounding more like he was asking a question.
"I'll be there," I said, and ducked out the door as quickly as I could. When I got to my locker, I stared inside, not paying any attention to anything inside.
"Something interesting in there?" Amanda asked from behind.
"What?" I asked, turning around. "Oh, I was just thinking."
She winked. "About wha-at?" she asked with her sing-song voice.
I looked around. "I can't talk about it here. Maybe I can spend the night at your house? I can come over after dinner."
Her eyes lit up. "I'll check with my mom. I don't think that should be a problem. I can't wait to hear about something you can't talk about here. Why don't we hang out after school? Why make me die of curiosity longer?"
"I have…plans…after school."
"You mean with—?"
"Hush! Yes. Like I said, I can't talk about it now."
She covered her mouth and started jumping up and down. She moved her hands and then then stared at me for a moment. "Shut up! There's no way! Are you serious?"
I looked around again. "Do I look like I'm joking?"
"This has to be an epic joke. You're lying. It's not possible. There's no way!" Then her eyes narrowed and she whispered in my ear, "He could get into so much trouble!"
I looked her directly in the eyes. "He won't, because no one is going to say anything."
Her eyes widened. "Of course I won't. Ohmigosh. You promise to tell me everything?"
"Do I have any other choice?"
"Of course not."
The afternoon seemed to fly by as I was lost I my thoughts, wondering what would happen after school. By the time that I was parking at the coffee shop, I was a ball of nerves. What were we going to talk about? My mouth was dry and my stomach wreck.
I walked into the coffee shop feeling just as shy as I had been in the classroom. I saw Mr. Foley sitting in a booth in the back of the darkened room. He had two cups of coffee. When he saw me, he held up one and smiled. I smiled back, made my way to his booth, and sat down with him.
"I hope you don't mind that I ordered for you. I know that the cold weather doesn't affect you, but I thought you might like a nice, warm drink," he said.
I settled in as far away from him as possible. I wasn't used to meeting with a teacher socially. "That sounds good," I said, taking the cup and scooting a little closer to him. I took a sip and found that it was heavily laced with blood. "Mmmm. You didn't try to hide the blood this time. Where have you been getting it?" I felt both my body and my emotions warming up as the blood made its way through me.
He smiled sweetly. "I hated seeing you so miserable. You're such a good person. It killed me to see you wasting away. I have connections at the blood bank, so I used them, hoping that it would help you. I'm really glad that it did. Confidence suits you much better than depression."
I smiled. "But couldn't you get in trouble for meeting me here? Or even giving me drinks at school?"
Mr. Foley scooted closer until there was only about an inch of air between us. I swallowed nervously.
"I could get into trouble for a lot of things," he said. "Why are you always so concerned with my getting into trouble? That was the first thing you asked me at that party in the woods after we first met."
"You werewolves just like living life on the edge?"
His eyes twinkled. "Maybe that's it. Even us peace-loving ones."
"When did you…uh, when did…?" I stammered, not knowing how to ask him about his feelings.
He scooted even closer, so that there was no space in between us. "When did I fall in love with you?" he asked.
I took a slow breath and stared into his eyes, nodding.
He took my hand and I felt light-headed with excitement. "It happened slowly, and I tried to fight
it, so I'm not sure when exactly. But if you don't want to fight it, then neither do I. I watched you struggle with it too. Somehow it seems meant to be."
"That's true," I whispered. "It's not like anyone is trying to stop us. It's so weird, because those vampires used to be so protective of me. Now I've been left on my own, falling in love with a werewolf, and not one of them has made one attempt to—"
He leaned in and kissed me on my lips. My eyes widened in surprise, but then I grabbed him and returned the kiss with pent up energy, frustration, and repressed love. I didn't care how wrong it was; it was so wrong that it was right. I thought of my vampire parents and all of their betrayal. I kissed him more deeply.
When we finally pulled away, Mr. Foley gave me a dazed look. "Wow. That's all I can say."
I smiled, the scent of his love wrapping around me. I gave him another equally passionate kiss, feeling myself giving into his love and my own feelings. Nothing else mattered, and the world around us disappeared as all I could see, smell, taste, touch and experience was him. The werewolf scent didn't bother me in the slightest; in fact, it made being with him all the more exciting.
My fangs began to poke out, but I forced them back in. I desired to drink his blood, to see if the intoxication of our feelings would make it taste better in the same way his scent didn't bother me, but I had no idea how he felt about being bitten. I had no idea how he felt about a lot of things, actually. That made our secret meeting all the more thrilling and I wrapped myself closer into him as we continued to kiss.
I wished that we were somewhere even more hidden from the world, but at the same time I knew that it was probably for the best that our first secret meeting, after having only just declared our feelings, didn't go beyond kissing. I was happy enough with that, feeling surrounded by him and his love in the back of a coffee shop. It was as though we were the only two people in existence, and I could have stayed like that forever.
But as usual, my happiness was cut short. I heard the clearing of a throat, but ignored the sound, hoping that it would go away, which it did, but only for a moment. The noise was louder the second time. "Do you two need some more coffee?"
I looked up to see a barista standing near our table, looking amused.
Mr. Foley wiped his mouth, and cleared his own throat. "No. I think we're good."
The girl chuckled. "I can see that. But you two are going to need to take it somewhere else. Not that I'm bothered by your PDA, but some of the customers are complaining, so I gotta say something, ya know," she said, and then shrugged her shoulders. "I think you two are adorable, but not everyone else feels that way."
I pulled some hair out of my face. "We'll take it elsewhere," I said, but then didn't know how he felt about that. Maybe he only wanted to meet there. "Or we'll stop the show and just finish the coffee."
"Sorry about that," the barista said, and walked back to the counter.
Mr. Foley wrapped an arm around me and squeezed. "It's probably for the best that we cool down. We did just tell each other how we feel."
"You're right," I said, feeling the weight of disappointment nearly crushing me.
He kissed the top of my head. "I'm not saying that I want to stop. But we should really slow down a bit. Do you even know my first name?"
I thought about it, but came up blank. Looking down, I shook my head.
He gave me another squeeze. "We've been exchanging—and avoiding—looks for a while. The tension has been thick with unspoken passion, wouldn't you say? Or have I been imagining it?"
Looking up, I shook my head.
"I'm certain that we both feel the same way. There's no way that I would have pursued this if I had even the slightest doubt—or if you were an ordinary student. I would never allow this if we weren't supernatural leaders within our own species. I'm not that guy. I'd never date a student. I just want you to know that."
"I had a feeling."
"But because of that, we can't let anyone know about us. At school, it has to be strictly business."
I sat up straighter. "Of course."
He nudged me. "Don't be so serious. We can still have a lot of fun with it while pretending to be only teacher and TA."
"What do you mean?"
"Isn't it always fun to be in on a secret that no one else is?"
I smiled. "Yeah. Most of the time." Unless it ends up backfiring and causing the other person to hate you, as with what happened between Cliff and me. But I didn't want to think about him anymore, especially when I was with Mr. Foley.
"We can make it fun, don't you think?"
"I'm sure we can. So, what is it?"
He crinkled his eyebrows. "What's what?"
"Your first name."
"Oh that," he said, and laughed. "Everyone calls me Toby."
I tilted my head. "That's what they call you? So, what's your name?"
He groaned. "That's what I get for trying to be sneaky around someone as smart as you. Can you keep this a secret?"
"You'd better hope so, considering where we are, and what we just got in trouble for doing."
"That's true," he said, as his smile slowly faded. "But I never tell anyone my given name."
I winked. "I won't tell anyone."
He sighed. "You're not going to stop until I tell you, are you?"
"Nope."
"Wanna guess?"
"Not really. Just tell me!"
He leaned close, and I breathed in his scent, loving it. "My real name is Tobias."
"Tobias, huh?" I asked, trying it out. "I kind of like it."
"You can call me Toby, though."
"Why? If we're going to meet in secret, no one is going to know what I call you."
He groaned again. "I suppose you have a point."
"I think I do, Tobias."
Eleven
On my way to Amanda's house, I debated whether or not to tell her what really happened when I got together with Mr. Foley…Tobias. She knew that I was meeting with him, but he'd told me not to tell anyone. How could I keep it completely to myself, though? I was so excited. I wanted to shout my love on the rooftops. I had to tell my best friend. I just had to.
But on the other hand, I had to honor his wishes. The last thing I wanted was for him to get into trouble. He was already taking a risk, just being with me—whatever that meant. I didn't know if what we had was a relationship or what it was. Not that it really mattered. I didn't have to try to explain it to anyone.
I really wanted to tell Amanda, I knew that she'd be excited for me. I wanted to spend hours speculating with her what everything meant, but if he found out that the first thing I did was run and tell a mortal about his feelings for me, I could ruin everything. I was finally happy, for the first time in months.
Thoughts of vampires and what-ifs weren't haunting my thoughts. My thoughts were filled with Tobias, his scent of love, and his gorgeous face. Oh and that soft, soft hair that I had wanted to feel so badly. It was even silkier than I had imagined. It had to have something to do with being a werewolf.
There was so much about him that I didn't know, so very much to find out. I didn't want to risk losing whatever future we had together. I would have to find a way to keep it from Amanda. It would make for a challenging night because not only would she be begging for details, but I would be dying to tell her.
As soon as I got to her house, she dragged me to her room. She closed her door and looked me square in the eye. "Tell me everything. What happened?"
Sighing, I sat on a beanbag. "I really misread his signals," I said, trying to look as disappointed as possible.
"What do you mean?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I think he's just a flirt. He's so good-looking that flirting is just how he relates to girls."
"I saw him wink at you the other day. He hasn't winked at any other students."
"That we know of. Besides, he's probably more comfortable with me since I've been his TA so long."
"Well what did he want, then? It sounded way pr
omising."
"He wanted to know if I would consider joining one of the math clubs. The state tournament is coming up."
"Serious? That's social suicide!"
"That's exactly what I told him."
"Did he at least wink at you or something? Tell me that it was worth something."
I nodded. "It was."
"Well, good. You really had me thinking that he was going to take you out on a date or something. I guess I should've known better."
"Me too. He's not that kind of teacher."
"We need to find you a boyfriend. If you're going around thinking that teachers want you, you're clearly ready to move on from what's-his-name."
"First of all, you put the idea in my head. Second—"
"Me? Never. Whatever."
"Yeah. It was totally you."
"Nice way to deflect. Who should we set you up with?"
"I don't want to be set up. Let's watch a movie or something."
"Come on. Mark and I need someone to go on doubles with."
"Like you two can't find something to occupy yourselves."
"Shut up. You know what I mean."
"Do you want to watch one here or go to the theater?"
"I don't need you disappearing on me. Let's see what's new on Netflix."
"Perfect."
***
The next morning, I walked into our house tired from staying up so late watching movies. I reminded myself that if I had been drinking more blood, the lack of sleep wouldn't have bothered me. When the vampires were around, we used to get up in the middle of the night all the time for hours, and I would still be fine all day.
"Did you have fun?" asked my mom.
"Yeah. We watched too many movies though."
"Nap if you have to. Don't forget we're all going to see the Nutcracker tonight."
"We're not driving all the way to Seattle, are we?"
"No. We knew we'd have a difficult time getting you girls to go if we had to take a road trip. There's a theater only about a half an hour away. It won't be the Paramount, but I'm sure it'll still be good."
The Transformed Box Set: Books 1, 2, 3, 3.5 Page 105