by Zane Grey
“Wade, I’ve believed in Heaven since you came down to White Slides,” burst out Moore, with shining eyes. “But tell me—what did you tell her?”
“Well, my particular medicine first off was to whisper in her ear that she’d never have to marry Jack Belllounds. An’ after that I gave her daily doses of talk about you.”
“Pard! She loves me—still?” he whispered.
“Wils, hers is the kind that grows stronger with time. I know.”
Moore strained in his intensity of emotion, and he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.
“Oh God! this’s hard on me!” he cried. “I’m a man. I love that girl more than life. And to know she’s suffering for love of me—for fear of that marriage being forced upon her—to know that while I lie here a helpless cripple—it’s almost unbearable.”
“Boy, you’ve got to mend now. We’ve the best of hope now—for you—for her—for everythin’.”
“Wade, I think I love you, too,” said the cowboy. “You’re saving me from madness. Somehow I have faith in you—to do whatever you want. But how could you tell Collie she’d never have to marry Buster Jack?”
“Because I know she never will,” replied Wade, with his slow, gentle smile.
“You know that?”
“Sure.”
“How on earth can you prevent it? Belllounds will never give up planning that marriage for his son. Jack will nag Collie till she can’t call her soul her own. Between them they will wear her down. My friend, how can you prevent it?”
“Wils, fact is, I haven’t reckoned out how I’m goin’ to save Collie. But that’s no matter. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. I will do it. You can gamble on me, Wils. You must use that hope an’ faith to help you get well. For we mustn’t forget that you’re in more danger than Collie.”
“I will gamble on you—my life—my very soul,” replied Moore, fervently. “By Heaven! I’ll be the man I might have been. I’ll rise out of despair. I’ll even reconcile myself to being a cripple.”
“An’, Wils, will you rise above hate?” asked Wade, softly.
“Hate! Hate of whom?”
“Jack Belllounds.”
The cowboy stared, and his lean, pale face contracted.
“Pard, you wouldn’t—you couldn’t expect me to—to forgive him?”
“No. I reckon not. But you needn’t hate him. I don’t. An’ I reckon I’ve some reason, more than you could guess.… Wils, hate is a poison in the blood. It’s worse for him who feels it than for him against whom it rages. I know.… Well, if you put thought of Jack out of your mind—quit broodin’ over what he did to you—an’ realize that he’s not to blame, you’ll overcome your hate. For the son of Old Bill is to be pitied. Yes, Jack Belllounds needs pity. He was ruined before he was born. He never should have been born. An’ I want you to understand that, an’ stop hatin’ him. Will you try?”
“Wade, you’re afraid I’ll kill him?” whispered Moore.
“Sure. That’s it. I’m afraid you might. An’ consider how hard that would be for Columbine. She an’ Jack were raised sister an’ brother, almost. It would be hard on her. You see, Collie has a strange an’ powerful sense of duty to Old Bill. If you killed Jack it would likely kill the old man, an’ Collie would suffer all her life. You couldn’t cure her of that. You want her to be happy.”
“I do—I do. Wade, I swear I’ll never kill Buster Jack. And for Collie’s sake I’ll try not to hate him.”
“Well, that’s fine. I’m sure glad to hear you promise that. Now I’ll go out an’ chop some wood. We mustn’t let the fire go out any more.”
“Pard, I’ll write another note—a letter to Collie. Hand me the blank-book there. And my pencil.… And don’t hurry with the wood.”
Wade went outdoors with his two-bladed ax and shovel. The wood-pile was a great mound of snow. He cleaned a wide space and a path to the side of the cabin. Working in snow was not unpleasant for him. He liked the cleanness, the whiteness, the absolute purity of new-fallen snow. The air was crisp and nipping, the frost crackled under his feet, the smoke from his pipe seemed no thicker than the steam from his breath, the ax rang on the hard aspens. Wade swung this implement like a born woodsman. The chips flew and the dead wood smelled sweet. Some logs he chopped into three-foot pieces; others he chopped and split. When he tired a little of swinging the ax he carried the cut pieces to the cabin and stacked them near the door. Now and then he would halt a moment to gaze away across the whitened slopes and rolling hills. The sense of his physical power matched something within, and his heart warmed with more than the vigorous exercise.
When he had worked thus for about two hours and had stacked a pile of wood almost as large as the cabin he considered it sufficient for the day. So he went indoors. Moore was so busily and earnestly writing that he did not hear Wade come in. His face wore an eloquent glow.
“Say, Wils, are you writin’ a book?” he inquired.
“Hello! Sure I am. But I’m ’most done now.… If Columbine doesn’t answer this…”
“By the way, I’ll have two letters to give her, then—for I never gave her the first one,” replied Wade.
“You son-of-a-gun!”
“Well, hurry along, boy. I’ll be goin’ now. Here’s a pole I’ve fetched in. You keep it there, where you can reach it, an’ when the fire needs more wood you roll one of these logs on. I’ll be up to-night before dark, an’ if I don’t fetch you a letter it’ll be because I can’t persuade Collie to write.”
“Pard, if you bring me a letter I’ll obey you—I’ll lie still—I’ll sleep—I’ll stand—anything.”
“Ahuh! Then I’ll fetch one,” replied Wade, as he took the little book and deposited it in his pocket. “Good-by, now, an’ think of your good news that come with the snow.”
“Good-by, Heaven-Sent Hell-Bent Wade!” called Moore. “It’s no joke of a name any more. It’s a fact.”
Wade plodded down through the deep snow, stepping in his old tracks, and as he toiled on his thoughts were deep and comforting. He was thinking that if he had his life to live over again he would begin at once to find happiness in other people’s happiness. Upon arriving at his cabin he set to work cleaning a path to the dog-corral. The snow had drifted there and he had no easy task. It was well that he had built an inclosed house for the hounds to winter in. Such a heavy snow as this one would put an end to hunting for the time being. The ranch had ample supply of deer, bear, and elk meat, all solidly frozen this morning, that would surely keep well until used. Wade reflected that his tasks round the ranch would be feeding hounds and stock, chopping wood, and doing such chores as came along in winter-time. The pack of hounds, which he had thinned out to a smaller number, would be a care on his hands. Kane had become a much-prized possession of Columbine’s and lived at the house, where he had things his own way, and always greeted Wade with a look of disdain and distrust. Kane would never forgive the hand that had hurt him. Sampson and Jim and Fox, of course, shared Wade’s cabin, and vociferously announced his return.
Early in the afternoon Wade went down to the ranch-house. The snow was not so deep there, having blown considerably in the open places. Some one was pounding iron in the blacksmith shop; horses were cavorting in the corrals; cattle were bawling round the hay-ricks in the barn-yard.
The hunter knocked on Columbine’s door.
“Come in,” she called.
Wade entered, to find her alone. She was sitting up in bed, propped up with pillows, and she wore a warm, woolly jacket or dressing-gown. Her paleness was now marked, and the shadows under her eyes made them appear large and mournful.
“Ben Wade, you don’t care for me any more!” she exclaimed, reproachfully.
“Why not, lass?” he asked.
“You were so long in coming,” she replied, now with petulance. “I guess now I don’t want you at all.”
“Ahuh! That’s the reward of people who worry an’ work for others. Well, then, I reckon I’ll go bac
k an’ not give you what I brought.”
He made a pretense of leaving, and he put a hand to his pocket as if to insure the safety of some article. Columbine blushed. She held out her hands. She was repentant of her words and curious as to his.
“Why, Ben Wade, I count the minutes before you come,” she said. “What’d you bring me?”
“Who’s been in here?” he asked, going forward. “That’s a poor fire. I’ll have to fix it.”
“Mrs. Andrews just left. It was good of her to drive up. She came in the sled, she said. Oh, Ben, it’s winter. There was snow on my bed when I woke up. I think I am better to-day. Jack hasn’t been in here yet!”
At this Wade laughed, and Columbine followed suit.
“Well, you look a little sassy to-day, which I take is a good sign,” said Wade. “I’ve got some news that will come near to makin’ you well.”
“Oh, tell it quick!” she cried.
“Wils won’t lose his leg. It’s gettin’ well. An’ there was a letter from his father, forgivin’ him for somethin’ he never told me.”
“My prayers were answered!” whispered Columbine, and she closed her eyes tight.
“An’ his father wants him to come home to run the ranch,” went on Wade.
“Oh!” Her eyes popped open with sudden fright. “But he can’t—he won’t go?”
“I reckon not. He wouldn’t if he could. But some day he will, an’ take you home with him.”
Columbine covered her face with her hands, and was silent a moment.
“Such prophecies! They—they—” She could not conclude.
“Ahuh! I know. The strange fact is, lass, that they all come true. I wish I had all happy ones, instead of them black, croakin’ ones that come like ravens.… Well, you’re better to-day?”
“Yes. Oh yes. Ben, what have you got for me?”
“You’re in an awful hurry. I want to talk to you, an’ if I show what I’ve got then there will be no talkin’. You say Jack hasn’t been in to-day?”
“Not yet, thank goodness.”
“How about Old Bill?”
“Ben, you never call him my dad. I wish you would. When you don’t it always reminds me that he’s really not my dad.”
“Ahuh! Well, well!” replied Wade, with his head bowed. “It is just queer I can never remember.… An’ how was he to-day?”
“For a wonder he didn’t mention poor me. He was full of talk about going to Kremmling. Means to take Jack along. Do you know, Ben, dad can’t fool me. He’s afraid to leave Jack here alone with me. So dad talked a lot about selling stock an’ buying supplies, and how he needed Jack to go, and so forth. I’m mighty glad he means to take him. But my! won’t Jack be sore.”
“I reckon. It’s time he broke out.”
“And now, dear Ben—what have you got for me? I know it’s from Wilson,” she coaxed.
“Lass, would you give much for a little note from Wils?” asked Wade, teasingly.
“Would I? When I’ve been hoping and praying for just that!”
“Well, if you’d give so much for a note, how much would you give me for a whole bookful that took Wils two hours to write?”
“Ben! Oh, I’d—I’d give—” she cried, wild with delight. “I’d kiss you!”
“You mean it?” he queried, waving the book aloft.
“Mean it? Come here!”
There was fun in this for Wade, but also a deep and beautiful emotion that quivered through him. Bending over her, he placed the little book in her hand. He did not see clearly, then, as she pulled him lower and kissed him on the cheek, generously, with sweet, frank gratitude and affection.
Moments strong and all-satisfying had been multiplying for Bent Wade of late. But this one magnified all. As he sat back upon the chair he seemed a little husky of voice.
“Well, well, an’ so you kissed ugly old Bent Wade?”
“Yes, and I’ve wanted to do it before,” she retorted. The dark excitation in her eyes, the flush of her pale cheeks, made her beautiful then.
“Lass, now you read your letter an’ answer it. You can tear out the pages. I’ll sit here an’ be makin’ out to be readin’ aloud out of this book here, if any one happens in sudden-like!”
“Oh, how you think of everything!”
The hunter sat beside her pretending to be occupied with the book he had taken from the table when really he was stealing glances at her face. Indeed, she was more than pretty then. Illness and pain had enhanced the sweetness of her expression. As she read on it was manifest that she had forgotten the hunter’s presence. She grew pink, rosy, scarlet, radiant. And Wade thrilled with her as she thrilled, loved her more and more as she loved. Moore must have written words of enchantment. Wade’s hungry heart suffered a pang of jealousy, but would not harbor it. He read in her perusal of that letter what no other dreamed of, not even the girl herself; and it was certitude of tragic and brief life for her if she could not live for Wilson Moore. Those moments of watching her were unutterably precious to Wade. He saw how some divine guidance had directed his footsteps to this home. How many years had it taken him to get there! Columbine read and read and reread—a girl with her first love-letter. And for Wade, with his keen eyes that seemed to see the senses and the soul, there shone something infinite through her rapture. Never until that unguarded moment had he divined her innocence, nor had any conception been given him of the exquisite torture of her maiden fears or the havoc of love fighting for itself. He learned then much of the mystery and meaning of a woman’s heart.
CHAPTER 13
DEAR WILSON,—The note and letter from you have taken my breath away. I couldn’t tell—I wouldn’t dare tell, how they made me feel.
“Your good news fills me with joy. And when Ben told me you wouldn’t lose your leg—that you would get well—then my eyes filled and my heart choked me, and I thanked God, who’d answered my prayers. After all the heartache and dread, it’s so wonderful to find things not so terrible as they seemed. Oh, I am thankful! You have only to take care of yourself now, to lie patiently and wait, and obey Ben, and soon the time will have flown by and you will be well again. Maybe, after all, your foot will not be so bad. Maybe you can ride again, if not so wonderfully as before, then well enough to ride on your father’s range and look after his stock. For, Wilson dear, you’ll have to go home. It’s your duty. Your father must be getting old now. He needs you. He has forgiven you—you bad boy! And you are very lucky. It almost kills me to think of your leaving White Slides. But that is selfish. I’m going to learn to be like Ben Wade. He never thinks of himself.
“Rest assured, Wilson, that I will never marry Jack Belllounds. It seems years since that awful October first. I gave my word then, and I would have lived up to it. But I’ve changed. I’m older. I see things differently. I love dad as well. I feel as sorry for Jack Belllounds. I still think I might help him. I still believe in my duty to his father. But I can’t marry him. It would be a sin. I have no right to marry a man whom I do not love. When it comes to thought of his touching me, then I hate him. Duty toward dad is one thing, and I hold it high, but that is not reason enough for a woman to give herself. Some duty to myself is higher than that. It’s hard for me to tell you—for me to understand. Love of you has opened my eyes. Still I don’t think it’s love of you that makes me selfish. I’m true to something in me that I never knew before. I could marry Jack, loving you, and utterly sacrifice myself, if it were right. But it would be wrong. I never realized this until you kissed me. Since then the thought of anything that approaches personal relations—any hint of intimacy with Jack fills me with disgust.
“So I’m not engaged to Jack Belllounds, and I’m never going to be. There will be trouble here. I feel it. I see it coming. Dad keeps at me persistently. He grows older. I don’t think he’s failing, but then there’s a loss of memory, and an almost childish obsession in regard to the marriage he has set his heart on. Then his passion for Jack seems greater as he learns little by little that Jac
k is not all he might be. Wilson, I give you my word; I believe if dad ever really sees Jack as I see him or you see him, then something dreadful will happen. In spite of everything dad still believes in Jack. It’s beautiful and terrible. That’s one reason why I’ve wanted to help Jack. Well, it’s not to be. Every day, every hour, Jack Belllounds grows farther from me. He and his father will try to persuade me to consent to this marriage. They may even try to force me. But in that way I’ll be as hard and as cold as Old White Slides. No! Never! For the rest, I’ll do my duty to dad. I’ll stick to him. I could not engage myself to you, no matter how much I love you. And that’s more every minute!… So don’t mention taking me to your home—don’t ask me again. Please, Wilson; your asking shook my very soul! Oh, how sweet that would be—your wife I … But if dad turns me away—I don’t think he would. Yet he’s so strange and like iron for all concerning Jack. If ever he turned me out I’d have no home. I’m a waif, you know. Then—then, Wilson … Oh, it’s horrible to be in the position I’m in. I won’t say any more. You’ll understand, dear.
“It’s your love that awoke me, and it’s Ben Wade who has saved me. Wilson, I love him almost as I do dad, only strangely. Do you know I believe he had something to do with Jack getting drunk that awful October first. I don’t mean Ben would stoop to get Jack drunk. But he might have cunningly put that opportunity in Jack’s way. Drink is Jack’s weakness, as gambling is his passion. Well, I know that the liquor was some fine old stuff which Ben gave to the cowboys. And it’s significant now how Jack avoids Ben. He hates him. He’s afraid of him. He’s jealous because Ben is so much with me. I’ve heard Jack rave to dad about this. But dad is just to others, if he can’t be to his son.
“And so I want you to know that it’s Ben Wade who has saved me. Since I’ve been sick I’ve learned more of Ben. He’s like a woman. He understands. I never have to tell him anything. You, Wilson, were sometimes stupid or stubborn (forgive me) about little things that girls feel but can’t explain. Ben knows. I tell you this because I want you to understand how and why I love him. I think I love him most for his goodness to you. Dear boy, if I hadn’t loved you before Ben Wade came I’d have fallen in love with you since, just listening to his talk of you. But this will make you conceited. So I’ll go on about Ben. He’s our friend. Why, Wilson, that sweetness, softness, gentleness about him, the heart that makes him love us, that must be only the woman in him. I don’t know what a mother would feel like, but I do know that I seem strangely happier since I’ve confessed my troubles to this man. It was Lem who told me how Ben offered to be a friend to Jack. And Jack flouted him. I’ve a queer notion that the moment Jack did this he turned his back on a better life.