Before I could get to the back door, Georgia pulled up next to me, cut her engine off, and abruptly exited her car, as she stomped over to me. She placed her hand on her hip, as she said with exasperation, "What in hell are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" I retorted. She wasn't due in for her shift for another couple of hours.
She rolled her eyes at my deflection. "I'm here to help get food ready for tomorrow," she stated bluntly.
"So am I," I quipped.
"Liar," she deadpanned, as if it weren't a direct slap in the face.
I gasped. "What in the hell are you talking about? Have you lost your mind?"
"You want to see him," she accused.
"See who?" I questioned, feigning ignorance.
"Don't play dumb, Hailey."
I rolled my eyes before I raised my voice, "First of all, the man in question, who has obviously taken precedence over the man he's supposedly here to pay his respects to," I snorted before continuing, "isn't even due into town until tomorrow, and secondly..."
My heart nearly stopped, as the back door creaked open, my eyes swinging to it and going wide with panic at the sound of the cigarette being lit. Kellan.
Chapter Two
Kellan
If I had any illusions that the flames between Hailey and I had died out three years ago, they had vanished the instant I saw her smoldering eyes. Dressed in a simple navy t-shirt with the bar's logo on it, and a casual pair of jeans, her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail, as soft tendrils of her hair escaped it, blowing softly in the approaching evening air, she was a vision of perfection. All those years I'd tried to forget about her, she'd been simmering in my mind all along, and the moment I laid my eyes on her, my desire for her was instantly rekindled.
This definitely wasn't the time, or the place, to start letting my mind wander into such dangerous territory, and to do so would only stir up a hornet's nest. I needed to tamp that shit back down where it belonged; buried, along with the dark, bitter past it represented.
Georgia's voice cut into my thoughts, though my eyes never wavered from Hailey's. "I'll uh...leave you two alone," she stammered before she scurried inside.
Hailey and I both stood immobile, staring each other down, as I toyed with my tongue ring before taking a drag off my cigarette. Neither of us seemed to know what to say. The silence was deafening, and I was growing impatient. I was never one to mince words, but eating shit wasn't my style. I brought myself out of my reverie, and reminded myself of the real reason I was here in the first place.
Deciding the less words said, the better, I stated brusquely, "Sorry," and turned to re-enter the building.
"Sorry?" Hailey bit out. I turned to find her gaze heated and honed in on mine. "What are you sorry for, Kellan?" she spewed. "Are you sorry you left me stranded three years ago for no goddamn reason?" she asked incredulously, before continuing, "Or are you sorry my husband is dead?"
******
Kellan
I froze in my tracks, not believing what Hailey had just barked out. What kind of fucking hell have I let myself get dragged into? In fact, why am I still here in this shit hole town? The least Jim could have done was inform me that Jordan and Hailey had gotten...Sonofabitch!
My head was swarming with the events of the last couple of days. Upon hearing the news about Jordan's death, it had weighed heavily on my mind, and I told Jim I couldn't make any promises. And then I'd thought of where I could've ended up, had it not been for Jordan's generosity when I was growing up. Yeah, we had our differences, but he was the closest thing I had to a friend until Hailey entered the picture. Whatever happened to bros before hoes?
Now, I'm lying here in my hotel room, feeling as if the walls are closing in. I'm anxious, on edge, and I can't get comfortable on this brick hard mattress. I've been tossing and turning for hours, just thinking about that motherfucker that killed Jordan. If he weren't in lock up, I'd kill him myself.
The miniscule amount of pain that begins to swirl in my mind suddenly eludes me when I remind myself that the trial will be swift; there were dozens of witnesses, and he'll most likely spend the remainder of his days rotting away in a jail cell. Yet, my mind does a double take, shifting to thoughts of vengeance, rather than justice.
But none of the thoughts help to quell the emptiness I feel as my mind continuously replays the look on Hailey's face on an endless loop, and her acidic words she'd flung at me before brushing past me, eager to escape my presence.
I didn't think it was going to be a walk in the park, but I sure as fuck didn't think I was going to be facing my dead friend's widow, the woman I thought I once loved. The woman I thought loved me. Christ, could this situation get any worse?
I let out a sarcastic chuckle, as if the empty room could carry on a dialogue with me. Love? No such thing, as far as I'm concerned. Feelings...sure. Lust, desire, animalistic rage, intense fucking orgasms, the sharp pierce of the needle...all of which are feelings I can grasp and relish in. Love is a goddamn myth.
******
Hailey
Georgia was right. Going to the bar today had been a terrible idea. I knew I was going to have to face Kellan sooner or later, but his contrite apology sent me over the edge. The fact that he's here in the first place is the complete definition of irony. The more I think of him coming to pay his final respects, after he'd long since left Jordan behind, has my stomach churning. What a piece of work.
When I'd entered the bar, quaking with rage, and tears gathered in my eyes, I was abruptly halted and cornered by Georgia and Gail. Once I'd explained what had happened, I was promptly scolded by Gail for even attempting to come in today, and quickly shooed away after some motherly, sympathetic hugs.
The truth is, being at the bar feels more like home than home does. I miss Jordan, so damn much already, and I just wanted to be there; the place I first met him, the first place I ever saw his gleaming, boyish grin. The same place I got to see that familiar grin day after day.
Jim, Gail, Georgia, Jordan and I are like a family, and the bar is like our home. We have a few other employees, including Joe, Kellan's former next-door neighbor. Jim ended up offering Joe a job at the bar after Kellan had left, and he's been working here ever since, mainly as our cook; but he also helps tend the bar when we get busy, busses tables, helps out as a bar back, and does some general maintenance. Joe is basically a Jack-of-all-trades. We also keep a waitress on staff, doubling as another shooter girl on busy nights, but we go through them almost as fast as Georgia goes through girlfriends; although she's been with her current girlfriend, Eve, for a few months, now. That has to be some sort of record for her.
Eve is the yin to Georgia's yang. Although nearly as tall as Georgia, and just as exquisitely beautiful, she has a dark complexion, long, wavy, dark hair, and has the disposition of a Candy Striper. When Eve came into the bar one night to do an interview for the local newspaper on the effects of the diminishing economy, she and Georgia had ended up hitting it off, and the rest is history.
Our family grew even tighter when Jim and Gail officially became a couple. With Gail being as tight lipped as she is, it came as a shock to many to find out that she and her husband had actually been separated for over a year before she gave birth to Angela. She and her husband were simply living as roommates until the divorce was final. Though Angela bears Jim's last name, Gail has yet to commit to the ideal of saying 'I do' for the time being.
My mind wanders back to the night of her baby shower...the look of joy on Jim's face as he watched Gail with adoration. A night I'm sure they'll never forget, and one I couldn't, even if I wanted to. The fateful night my mother had died, I had ended up betraying Jordan, and Kellan had claimed me as his own.
While two people were just beginning their happy lives together, I was busy destroying the man who truly loved me, for a man that was cloaked in lies and deceit. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive myself.
******
Hailey
A deep fog rolls in around my feet, and suddenly I am blinded by it, unable to see in the surrounding darkness. I can make out the faint shadow of a figure, but when I reach out, I can't make contact; it's a man I think. His voice suddenly echoes to me, seeming too far away from where he is standing, beckoning me. I can only make out the distant, barely audible sound of his voice, as it resonates through the fog. "Hailey...I haven't left. I've been here all along. I could never leave you, my love."
At the impaling words, I jerk upright, covered in a sheen of sweat, as tears stream down my face. My heart is pounding in my ears, and I'm gasping for breath. It was just a dream... The same dream I'd had each night since Jordan had been killed.
The doctor had tried to prescribe me something to help me sleep, but I refused. Though it takes me hours to fall asleep each night, eventually exhaustion ends up overtaking me, and inevitably, this has been the result. I wonder to myself if the nightmares will ever stop.
******
Kellan
Hailey was blaming me for leaving her all those years ago, but as I recalled, she decided to stay. What did she expect me to do? Cancel my plans to start a real future? A future that didn't include working myself to the bone each day for shitty pay, and being stuck in this hole of a town for the rest of my life. A future she was supposed to be a part of, until she changed her mind at the last minute, leaving me high and dry.
Something wasn't right, and I needed answers. Barging in on Hailey in the middle of the night, and invading her space, probably wasn't the brightest idea, but my impulses were overriding my common sense. As usual, I was putting myself first- but fuck it, this couldn't wait.
Pulling up to her house, I couldn't get out of the car fast enough, and jogged up the darkened porch steps to knock loudly on her front door. I waited long moments with no answer, immediately beginning to second guess whether my sense of desperation warranted invading her in her time of grief.
Shit, she was probably in a drug-induced coma of Valium and sleep aids. Still, I couldn't reign in my urges as I rang the doorbell furiously, but I wasn't above breaking and entering as a last resort. Are you insane? Give the poor woman some peace.
My mind was warring with itself, and when the door swung open with force, and I met Hailey's eyes, as they went from groggy to heated in a millisecond, my body started a war of it's own.
Chapter Three
Kellan
The first thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was her familiar, decadent scent. The cool night breeze carried it straight to me, as if luring me to her like a stray dog on a leash, starving for it's next meal. And maybe I was...starving for her. I would be a masochist to admit it.
I could tell I'd woken her. Her hair was mussed, and she was standing in simple pajamas, taking me back to the many mornings I'd seen her wake up in my bed in the same state. My cock twitched at the memory of how many times I'd been unable to resist taking her before she'd had the chance to slip from my bed so many of those mornings. Down boy. You're here for answers, not a late night rendezvous. My gut suddenly churned at the thought of taking advantage of Hailey's vulnerability in her time of need.
Abruptly breaking into my thoughts, she barked out, "What in the hell are you doing here?"
She was angry, and I could understand her frustration; shit, I was frustrated, too. "I have questions," I stated, pinning her with my stare.
"No." she answered harshly.
"No?" I asked perplexed. "No what?"
"No to your questions...whatever they are."
"You haven't even heard them," I said, my voice rising.
Furrowing her brow, she replied, "I don't give two shits about your questions, Kellan, and I sure as shit don't want any answers from you. Every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie! Looking at you makes me sick," she bit out with distain, before trying to slam the door shut in my face.
Wasn't going to happen. I wedged my foot between the door and the frame, slamming my hand against it hard, and shoving it aside, as I backed Hailey into her own home. My own icy stare was met by her look of fear, as I stalked towards her, catching her by the arm, and pushing her against the wall in the hallway. The all too familiar monstrous side of me had decided to rear it's ugly head. Deep down, I knew my lack of empathy and heated emotions were a dangerous combination. But it was the only way I knew how to survive. It's simply who I am.
As she began to tremble in my grip, I brought my face within a fraction of her own, gritting out, "You don't listen so well, Sweetheart. I warned you once about calling me a liar, didn't I?" Her eyes went wide with panic, and she quickly nodded, as a picture fell off the wall, shattering as it hit the floor. Behind the broken glass sat a picture of Jordan and Hailey in a tight, loving embrace. Their smiles were wide as she held a small bouquet in front of herself, standing in a flowing white gown. I swung an incredulous glare to her, biting out, "Fuck this," as I shoved her away, and strode out the door.
******
Hailey/Kellan
Jesus, where did it all go wrong? And what in the hell had just happened? I had stayed up the rest of the night, pacing the floor, asking myself the same question over and over again: Do I want answers? The simple fact of the matter is, nothing said can ever change the past; what's done is done. We can't go back to yesterday, and there will never be a tomorrow between us. Those fires should have burned out long ago; and when Jordan died, I wished to hell that those smoldering fires, simmering just below the surface, had died along with him.
******
Hailey
I'm sitting on a nondescript, tan, steel chair, in the front of the stale smelling room of the funeral home. The carpet is a shade of sky blue, and the walls are paneled half way up, split in the middle by a chair rail, stained in a rich honey oak, and accented by a lovely paisley wallpaper design running the rest of the length to the ceiling.
The scent of dozens of arrangements of flowers fills the small space, as the sounds of people milling about in the waiting area loft through the air.
I sit staring facile at the ground, waiting patiently for the next person to come and take my hand, offering up, "If there's anything I can do..." or, "He was a good man," and the likes. I paste on a polite smile, nodding at each passer-by, after they've said goodbye to Jordan in each of their own ways. Some pass by quickly; others stand for long moments, as if silently having a final conversation with Jordan. I haven't bothered, or maybe I haven't the strength, to go to him, yet.
He'll be buried in the only suit he owned; the suit he wore on our wedding day. A pin striped navy suit, with a simple white button down shirt, and a matching navy tie. Gail thought the idea was dark and depressing, but I assured her I wouldn't be able to stand to look at it hanging in our closet, and I certainly wouldn't have the strength to give it away. No, it was best this way.
The throngs of people that pass by me are sad, weary, and many of them are teary eyed and sniffling, while I sit here, numb; trying to push the thoughts out of my mind of how I will survive on my own.
Lost in my thoughts, I barely register that the white noise of the crowd has died down, and I am abruptly pulled back to reality as a sudden charge in the air blankets the room, paralyzing me. Suddenly feeling too hot, too cold, trapped, I quickly gather my purse and weave through the crowd, not bothering to apologize for bumping into people.
I scurry into the waiting room, frantically searching for Georgia, and my eyes land on...him. He is here, and he's too close. His back is turned to me, he's engaged in conversation with Jordan's parents, and I feel as if the air has been sucked from the room. He's too close. I stand on my tiptoes, searching the crowd, seeking out Georgia. I can't stay here. Where is she? I hear the restroom door open, and in the split second before I run to her, Kellan cranes his neck toward the sound, his eyes colliding with mine, and I am frozen. My mind shouts a self-preserving warning at me...Get out!
Quickly breaking my gaze with Kellan, I run to Georgia, as she leans down with concern etched on her face, aski
ng, "Hey, are you ok?"
I briskly shake my head back and forth, as I whimper out, "No! I have to go," and quickly turn to rush out the door.
Jordan's mother, Kate, calls after me, "Hailey! Is everything alright, dear?" I don't bother to answer her question as I rapidly exit, feeling Kellan's glare follow me.
******
Kellan
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I balked.
"Just say what's in your heart, son," Gail said soothingly.
"You do realize you're nowhere near old enough to be my mother, don't you?"
Fire and Ice: Rekindled (The Fire and Ice Series Book 2) Page 2