by Lake, Rae B.
"You sure?"
"You planning on killing me?" I ask, a slight smile on my face. I pose it as a joke, but I watch his eyes for the real answer.
Fear, "Nah, after what I saw you do yesterday. Crossing you isn't something I plan on doing."
"Me, I'm not that bad. You have met Ink, haven't you?" I joke for real this time, but I see him cringe.
Through all the time that I've known Roth there is one thing I know for sure, he is genuinely remorseful about what he’d allowed to happen to Ink and Angel. It was Roth who had helped get Ink and Angel free, him who helped us finally get rid of his own sister Ruby. Still, he was always stricken with guilt whenever anyone mentioned Ink.
"Ink tortures, because he is angry. You do it, because it's your passion. Two very different things. Ink will get tired of it eventually when his happiness outweighs his rage. You will never get enough. I'm almost scared to see what your next masterpiece will look like."
"Hmm, I'll take that." I didn't know if that was a compliment or a jab, but it was the truth.
"You planning on going back to the clubhouse?"
"Not yet. I'll check in probably in the next few weeks. You headed back? Vexx?"
A wistful look crosses his face as he looks away. "Nah, I think I'm going to be on the road a bit."
"Why, we all know how much love you two got for each other. Why deny yourselves? Just go be with your woman."
"She isn't my woman." His eyes are hard now. "She can't be."
"Why the hell not? Because every time I see you two together y’all look awfully fucking comfortable to me." I reply, if he was dumb enough to think that I didn't see how much he cared for that woman than he was sadly mistaken.
"Yeah, we’re comfortable now, but I don't deserve her. Better yet, she deserves someone far better than me. That woman may act hard, and she will take anyone down without batting a sexy lash, but on the inside she is good. I'm living on borrowed time. I'm not going to bring her down with me."
"Roth, I don't know half the shit that you've done. Only what Ink has told me and even then, I know there is still some shit that he has left out. That doesn't mean you have to dwell on the past. Move the fuck on. If you care for Vexx and her for you, just go with that shit. Don't be a dumbass."
"I've spent my life just going with shit. Now I'm going to do the right thing even if I have to suffer to do it."
I nod at him and turn towards the bathroom. If there is one thing I can say about the man, he was set in his ways. I relieve myself and splash some water on my face, trying to wake up.
"Uh, Wire. I think you want to come look at your phone. It's blowing up." Roth calls to me from the main area.
"What?" I peek out of the bathroom and see him still standing by the door. When he sees me looking out the doorway he points down to my phone. It's on a charger and set on top of the small ledge by the window. Even from the bathroom I can see the lights flashing as messages come through.
"Shit." I wipe my face with the rough towel that is in the bathroom and walk over to the phone. When I pick it up, I can see that I have four missed calls and 12 missed text messages. I haven't been able to check my phone since yesterday.
"Oh fuck." I quickly swipe through the opening screen and into my messages. They are all from Brendan. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." My head begins to spin, and I quickly scan through everything that he'd sent to me.
"Wire, you good? What's going on?" Roth puts a hand on my arm, pressing upwards in case I fall.
They found her!
Brendan had forwarded me everything that he had found on Keeley and Lily—pictures, addresses, types of vehicles, even fucking occupation. She had a whole fucking life out there. She was using the last name Dillon. I would have never thought to use my first name as their last name, but Keeley is smarter than me after all. I laugh and Roth looks at me like I have lost my mind when I start to jump up and down.
"Brendan fucking found them! I know where Keeley is."
Roth smiles wide at me and claps me on the back. "Congrats man. I guess it's time for you to go grovel for your woman."
"Shit fuck that. She can beat the shit out of me if she wants to, but I'm locking her in that house and we not coming out until she forgives me." I look at the room, my clothes and shit thrown all around. Fuck it. I didn't need any of it.
"Wire, hold up man. You don't want to leave a trail behind do you?" He looks at my shit. If the authorities had a reason to come looking for me the last thing I want is to have my shit just laying around waiting for them. He was right I needed to calm down and get my shit together. I quickly go through the room and pack up all my stuff. Keeley didn't know that I was coming so there is no need for me to rush. Besides the fact that it feels like I'm bursting at the fucking seams to get to her and Lily.
Once the room is cleared out and I've paid my bill, I rush to my bike anxious to finally get on the road.
"Hey, you want to keep me company?" I ask Roth as he gets into his car. If he had nowhere to go then I wouldn't mind someone riding behind me in case I got into some shit.
"Yeah, for sure."
I put the address into my phone’s GPS and waited for it to plot out. Twenty-two hours, in twenty-two hours I would be with my woman.
* * *
We end up having to stop twice and it takes us almost three days for me to get there. Though with every mile that passes beneath my wheels I know that she is closer to me now then she has been in months and I begin to feel at ease.
When I pull up in front of the address that Brendan gave me there is a car there, not one that I would expect Keeley to have. Then again maybe she was doing that to make it harder for me to find her.
"I'm going to head off." Roth tells me through the window of his car. He's been good company, but he is right to think that I want to be alone with my family now.
"Thanks for helping me out. I'll give you a ring if I need anything else. Tell Vexx I said hey."
He chuckles and turns his car back on. He was looking down at his phone probably putting in the address to get back to her. I still didn't understand why he was being such a fucking jerk about that shit. He loves her. Every time we talk about it, I could see that he did, but he was so fucking set on not starting anything with her. In my eyes if Vexx was ever going to take a fucking ol' man, then Roth in all of his fucked-up ways would be the best one for her.
I look to the side of the house and I can see a bright pink bike. It must be Lily's. The house itself is a one story home, looks to be maybe three rooms. Painted a dark brown shade with a terracotta roof. It was quaint and something that I could see myself growing old in. I take a chance and peek through the window hoping to catch a glimpse of Keeley before I walked in. I was sure that tonight there'd be a bunch of fighting. She didn't like to be surprised and the fact that I was showing up on her doorstep unannounced meant that I was in for a world of fighting. That's just fine for me. I’ve been preparing for months for this argument. I wasn't leaving here without my woman so if she had to try to kill me tonight for her to tell me how mad she is then I would sit here and take it.
What the fuck?
What the actual fuck is this!
As I peer through the window, I see Lily standing on the couch playing with someone. A fucking man.
I step back and turn to Roth. I wave my hands a few times to get his attention I don't want to make any more noise, but I wanted him to stay just in case I had to kill this motherfucker. Did Keeley really find a new man after she had already told me that she wasn't seeing anyone else. I know that it's been months, but we were still fucking married. Who the fuck was this motherfucker who was laughing and playing with my seed? I could rip his fucking face off and not bat a goddamn eye.
Roth finally sees that I'm trying to flag him down and he gets out of the car. I put a hand up to my mouth to indicate that he should be quiet. He nods and instantly goes for his weapon. He's becoming more and more handy to have around.
I would kill the fuck for trying t
o come in and take what's mine. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself down. My brain's telling me that this is my fault to begin with. We were separated so why the fuck wouldn't she find a new man. I did this shit.
"No, fuck that." I take a step towards the door and pound on it. She's mine.
When no one answers the fucking door in the three seconds it takes for me to lower my hand I kick it hard. They are not going to avoid me.
I hear loud footsteps coming towards the door. Just what I wanted. Let me have this piece of shit one on one. I'm so fucking ready right now.
The door swings open and the man that I just saw on the couch is standing right in front of me.
He doesn't say a word, I don't give him a chance to. "Who the fuck are you?'
"What do you mean who the fuck am I? You knocked on this door. Either you state your business, or you can be the fuck on your way.”
The man was about my height, but I had more bulk than him. His eyes are light blue, but I don't see any hesitation in them. It's his blue fucking hair that makes me take a step back. Who the fuck dyes their hair blue?
"Where's Keeley?" I grit out. I don't want to play with this man.
"Who the fuck wants to know?"
"Her fucking husband." I bark out.
His eyes pop open in recognition. "Dillon, huh?"
I didn't like that he knew my government name. "Motherfucker, you don't know me. We ain't that fucking familiar. You can tell me where the fuck my woman is and what the fuck you are doing here?"
"Keeley is in the house and that is exactly where she is going to stay." He crosses his arms over his chest like he was going to stop me from getting in there to my family. I almost laugh in his face. Who the fuck did he think he was?
"Move the fuck out of my way."
"Nah, I don't think that’s going to happen. It's obvious that she came all the way out here to get the hell away from you and if that is what she wants who am I to negate that. If she wants you to come in, then she can let you in herself. Until then you can move the fuck on."
My hands clench at my sides and I already know that it's not going to end well for this man. In one last ditch effort I give him his last opportunity to leave in one piece. "Get the fuck out of my way." I growl.
"Are you hard of hearing? I already told you that I'm-" His hand goes up and pushes my shoulder back. That was all she wrote.
I grab hold of his arm. Use my elbow to hit him hard across the face. He leans back, but doesn't fall. Instead, he uses the heel of his hand to hit me square in the chest. It feels like I can't breathe, but I don't need fucking air to get to my wife. I'll die if that's what it takes. I lean over as my body forces me to try to inhale. I rush him, my shoulder straight into his gut. He tries to grab hold of me. Only I move quicker than I think he anticipates, because I make contact. A loud gush of air pushes out of his mouth. I take that second to rip him from the doorway and toss him on the walkway.
"Fuck! Wire, you need back up?" Roth asks as he runs closer to where we are. I put my hand up to let him know that I had this. I would take this motherfucker out on my own.
Finally, I am able to stand at full height when I get my wind back. I kick him a few times in his side and he grabs onto my leg, pulling it out from under me. My head hits the ground hard and for a second, I see stars behind my eyelids. He scrambles to get on top of me. I block some of his punches, but I can tell that he is calculating the next one so he wouldn't miss. He may not be as strong as I am, but the man was definitely trained. I manage to get a good shot to his jaw, and he falls backwards. I get to my feet ready to move forward, but he gets up at the same time as I do. Not even the slightest bit winded. I take a step froward, but he leans back in. With a quick snap he lifts his leg and swings it directly at my face, my head whips to the side hard and I fall down to the ground trying to get my head to stop spinning.
This time he is the one to kick me when I'm down and I do the same to him. I grab his foot so that it flies out from under him. Instead of him falling straight down like I would have thought he would do, he uses the motion to jump up and bring his leg straight down on my chest. Yeah, this motherfucker was definitely trained. That's ok, my bullets were trained as well.
I reach to my back where my gun was stashed and pull it out. He pulls away and slowly crawls back to where I am. I guess to try and get the gun away from me.
"Shit." I hear Roth in the background.
"No!" I roar out to let him know that I still didn't want help.
"Oh my God! What the hell! Stop! Fucking stop!" Keeley is at the door. She screams and cries as we continue to hit on each other, but neither one of us let's go of the gun. "Fly just stop I'll see him. I want to see him. Stop!" Keeley screams at the man.
I bring my head forward and strike him once right in the middle of the face. His nose opens up like a fucking faucet and he roars in pain, but still doesn't let go of the gun.
I hear Max in the background now barking furiously and Keeley doing whatever she could to keep him from attacking.
The man gets a hold on the gun and as we fight to hold it, I hear a voice I haven't heard this close in so long.
"Daddy?"
My eyes quickly turn in the direction of my Daughter's voice. "Lily, go back inside" I order her. She doesn't need to see this shit.
My attention isn't where it should be, and the man pulls the gun out of my hand and hides it behind his back. "Lils, go back inside."
"What are you doing to Daddy?"
"Nothing kiddo, we’re just wrestling. It's ok."
I turn in his direction and everything in me wants to punch him in the face again. Did he just console my kid? That's my job.
"Lily, Daddy's fine. Go on inside." I say turning back to where she is. I do my best to give her a small smile, but even as I do, I can feel my lips crack from the cuts in them.
"Ok." She turns and walks inside.
"Get the fuck out of here." The man growls out and when I turn, I see Roth has already moved up behind us. If he tries to turn my weapon on me Roth will take him out before he gets the chance.
"I'm not fucking leaving." I answer right back. There is nothing he can say that is going to make me leave. I don't care if he wants to fight me for the rest of the night.
"Fly, go on, home. I have him." Keeley says from where she is standing.
"Key ..."
"Did you not hear her? I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but that is my wife … if she says that we are fine maybe you should mind your own fucking business and be on your way."
"I'd listen to them, or tonight isn't going to end well for you." Roth says from where he is behind him.
"Keeley, you know where I am. I'll watch for the signal."
"I'm fine Fly. He's not going to hurt me." She replies and crosses her arms over her midsection.
"Alright." The man she calls Fly, turns in my direction flips the gun so that the grip is facing me. I take it from him and secure it in the back of my jeans. He doesn't say another word just walks off into the next house. He was the neighbor.
"I’ll camp out for the night." Roth says and before I can tell him that he didn't need to he is already walking to the car.
"What are you doing here? How did you even fucking find me?" Keeley is spitting fire; she is so mad.
"Are you kidding me? What the fuck made you think that I wouldn't?" I follow her into the house and slam the door behind me.
Lily jumps and I can tell that she is about to start crying. I know that look.
I push all the anger that I have right now deep inside. I need to make sure Lily is ok before Keeley and I get into all this. I kneel down to talk to my daughter. When she doesn't come over to me another piece of my heart breaks. I really did a number on this little girl.
"Lily, you not going to give me a hug?"
"Don't wanna."
"Ok, are you mad at me?" I ask and let my hands fall down to my thighs. I stay kneeling.
"Yes, Daddy. I'm m
ad at you. Why are you friends with the bad people?" She presses her little fists to her hips. The question was so simple, but it's probably one of the hardest questions that I've ever been asked. Why am I friends with the bad people? Does she realize that I'm one of the bad people too?
"I didn't know that they were bad people, baby. I thought they were good people that were going to help. They played a trick on me. Do you understand?" I ask her, but don't move forward. I don't want to push her.
"Are you still friends with them?" She asks and takes a step in my direction.
"No Lily baby. I'm trying really hard to make sure I'm not friends with anymore bad people. Can you forgive me?" I ask her and she looks down. I watch her moving her lips around as if she were really weighing the possibilities.
"You promise you'll do better? I really missed you Daddy, but you can't do that stuff anymore." She wags her finger at me, and I can't help but laugh. My little girl is such a character.
"I promise." I put my hand against my heart and crossed it.
She smiles bright and comes barreling towards me. I catch her just in time and squeeze her to my chest while I let my head fall. I kiss her over and over, smell her hair and nearly broke down when I feel her little body start to shake with tears. Fuck, I don't know how I was able to breathe without her. When I look up, I see Keeley wiping a tear from her eye.
"Don't cry Lily. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere ok? I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." I hold her to my chest as she cries.
"It's ok Daddy. I forgive you. It's ok." She rubs my arm. I hate that I made her feel this way. I feel like a fucking failure. She shouldn't have had to go through something like this, because of the people that I'd put around myself. Never again.
"I think that I need to talk to your momma. Maybe you can go into your room?"
"Go over to Fly's house, take Max with you." Keeley says.
"Fuck that shit? I don't know that man." I bristle at the very thought of it.
"But I do!" Keeley spits out, "And so does Lily. You forget that we've lived a life in the months you've been riding around trying to find yourself?" She rolls her eyes, and I can see already that this isn't going to be a simple fight. It’s about to be a war.