“I get tested every month. How about you?”
“Same,” I said. “I’ve always been clean. Careful. You?”
Josie nodded, stroking the head of my cock against her slick opening. “And I’m on the pill. A pill I take religiously.”
I grinned against her lips. “What are you asking me to do?”
“Fuck me like this. No barriers. Just us. For our first time, I want… I want you.”
She kept stroking, swirling, teasing. Every cell in my body screamed thrust, but I reined it back.
“Say the word.” Josie rocked herself against the head of my cock, throat tilted, eyes hooded. “Or you can just keep doing that,” I groaned and fucking meant it.
“Using your cock like a sex toy?” she taunted.
“Yes,” I growled. “I… I like it.”
“You like being used, Gabriel?”
I placed both of my hands alongside her head, staring down at her. Watching Josie, again, work herself to pleasure.
“When you do it, yes.” My vision dimmed and darkened as I scraped my palms against her breasts, cock still trapped between us.
“How badly do you want to fuck me right now?” Her tongue traced the seam of my lips, over and over, before dipping in for a taste.
I experimentally thrust against her stomach, and she smacked me on the ass so fast I saw stars. And it only got me harder.
“Goddammit,” I swore.
“How badly?”
I leaned my forehead against hers. “A rock slide could tear this bathroom in half, and I wouldn’t stop until you told me to.”
“Then why don’t you show me?”
“I’ll hurt you,” I said, momentarily tripping up on the double meaning. Except I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. But Josie was only shaking her head.
“All I want is to be fucked senseless. Fucked so hard I can’t walk tomorrow. Or the next day,” she said with a sly grin. “Do you think you can do that?”
Another spank, another challenge. She twisted her fingers in my chest hair and yanked.
In the space of a second, I grabbed Josie beneath her thighs and lifted her easily against the wall.
With a satisfied smile, she lifted her arms and looped them around the showerhead, baring her body to me. Her strong, tattooed legs wrapped around my waist.
I positioned my cock right at her entrance and paused.
Waited for her command.
Because it was more than just a sexy game. Of everything we’d done, this moment was going to carve itself into my memories, the way water shapes a canyon.
I’d never be the same.
“Fuck me, Gabriel,” she demanded.
The ragged moan Josie made when I bottomed out inside of her would stay with me for the rest of my goddamn life.
It was more than a sound of pleasure. It was a sound of total completion.
“Is this how you need it?” I asked, slamming back inside of her.
Shoving the wet hair from her face, I tilted her chin toward me so I could kiss her. And thrust again. With almost no finesse, no thought to the slow, teasing rhythm I usually started with.
I had instructions, and I intended on carrying them out.
“Your cock feels so… fuck,” she hissed as I kept fucking her in rapid-fire strokes. “And don’t you dare stop.”
Josie reached behind and dug her nails into my ass, breaking the skin. But never breaking eye contact. She held my gaze as her pussy clenched in time with my punishing rhythm. I took her nipples between my teeth, tugging on the tender piercings. Her sounds of pleasure were guttural and so real.
And every time I slowed, or faltered, she smacked my ass until I sped up.
And, fuck, I’d never been spanked before, but I was discovering nothing got me hotter. Nothing. I wanted to be used. Worked hard with a singular purpose. And it wasn’t dehumanizing. In fact, the exact opposite was true.
I’d never felt closer to another person in my life as I did right now, taking Josefine against the wall with wild abandon.
Josie sucked my thumb between her lush lips, and I almost lost it. But then she placed it against her clit and I rolled that tight bud in tiny, teasing circles.
Her hips snapped and shook, her orgasm so close. So I stroked her clit and fucked her with a fury. Suddenly, she was panting “Gabe, yes please yes,” with her head thrown back, her hands wrapped around my neck.
I fucked her against that wall like I was trying to break the damn thing down.
My goddess came with a shriek, back arched and laughing.
And as she spasmed beautifully around me, my vision filled with planets and stars and the entire universe, and in the center of it all was Josie.
My release was in sight, but I was still waiting. Being the ultimate audience to Josie’s soaring climaxes over and over was becoming my new favorite drug. And when Josie left… when Josie left…
“Gabe,” she whispered, breaking through my thoughts. She kissed me hungrily, and I breathed her in.
“Ask me anything.” I was hard as a rock and slowly moving inside her.
“Again,” she moaned, reaching down to grab my ass. “And harder.”
Chapter 32
Josie
Gabe made me insatiable.
Which was saying something, since the orgasm he’d just given me had been a breath-stealing, heart-stopping, rearrange-my-cells type of climax. A quiet voice, deep in the recesses of my mind, was trying to get me to stop. But being with Gabe was like boarding a train you hoped never reached its destination.
Nothing else mattered as Gabe held me up against his massive body and walked out of the shower into his warm, cozy bedroom.
I was prepared to be fucked senseless, but instead Gabe slid me down gently, caressing the hair from my shoulders. Grabbed a towel and kissed along my collarbone as he rubbed the fabric across my sensitive, aching skin. Drying me. I giggled—I couldn’t help it, and his answering chuckle was husky with need. The towel smoothed up my legs, my ass, my breasts. I was shivering and aching by the time he finished, curling his fingers around my neck and kissing me with real yearning.
“Now your turn,” I panted, doing the same thing for him. I applied the lightest pressure to his shoulders, and he sank to the floor for me again. His body was a work of fucking art, and I felt myself memorizing the smallest details: the thick blond hair that trailed down his stomach. The light dusting of freckles between his shoulder blades. The guttural sound he made when I ran my tongue, lazily, from the crook of his neck to beneath his ear. His big palms slid around my waist, turning me, my back pressed to his front. He kissed a hot path along my throat as I arched back into his cock, fingers teasing my breasts, stroking my clit. As I moaned and sighed against him, I realized he was doing the same thing: memorizing me.
“Josie,” Gabe whispered against my ear. “Get on that fucking bed.” I nipped his jaw, and the low growl he made as I stretched out onto his bed had my eyes wide. In a daze, I watched my muscular, lust-filled Viking crawl up my body, holding himself over me with his strong arms.
Waiting for my command.
His hair was wet and loose around his shoulders.
I curled my fingers through it, sighing.
“Are you okay?” I checked in, letting my fingers dance down the ridges of his stomach.
“Never been better in my life,” he said, softly. “Are you okay?”
I let my wandering fingers travel down the length of his cock then wrap tight around the base. Gabe’s hands fisted in the sheets.
“Never been better in my life,” I repeated, and he chuckled. I twisted my fist, dragging it up slowly. Exploring the smooth head of his cock with my fingers.
“What are you doing to me, Josefine?” he asked on a ragged groan.
I smirked, enjoying the heady rush.
“Teasing you,” I said, jerking my fist up and down. “Controlling you.” I sped up my movements and his arms shook. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, Gabe. You
feel that, right?”
His lips hovered over mine. “I feel fucking everything, gorgeous,” he growled.
I wanted Gabe off the leash. Unrestrained.
“Then show me,” I whispered.
I licked my tongue into his mouth, and his answering groan gave me the confidence I needed to guide that perfect cock inside of me. Fully, until not another inch could fit.
We moaned together as he finally crushed his body to mine. I lifted my legs, and he took the cue, pressing my knees to the mattress, bringing us as close together as possible. He thrust once, eyes locked on mine, and I was already a goner—still tender and overly sensitive.
“Start slow,” I said, and he responded with an agonizingly slow movement, pulling out every inch. And then snapping his hips forward. “But stay deep,” I said, already breathless. His hair was falling all around us.
Gabe stayed still for a moment, cock nestled deep inside of me, and I rotated my hips, feeling him against my inner walls. A mewling sound escaped my lips, and Gabe shuddered with pleasure. I did it again—Gabe, still as a statue, as I shifted in semi-circles, stirring up my banked pleasure.
“Fuck that feels so good,” he gasped.
I reached down to grab his muscular ass, pulling him deeper. On a groan, his head dipped between my breasts.
“Please let me,” he begged, still so respectful, even though not moments ago, he had me pinned against a wall.
All I could do was nod.
Gabe’s tongue darted out, licking around my piercings. I held his head there as I gave that perfect ass another ringing slap. He bit my nipple gently, and I slapped him again. The round muscles of his ass flexing under my palm.
“Harder,” I groaned.
He knew exactly what I meant.
He began to fuck me, faster but no less thoroughly. Nipple in his mouth, hands holding me down, cock rubbing against my g-spot over and over. Gabe ravaged me, fucking me like a wild animal, the headboard smacking against the wall.
And yet there was no doubt: I held the reins.
I spanked him again, and he roared against me, hitching my leg up and over his shoulder, hitting an angle so deep I felt my eyes roll back in my head. My body arched up towards his, his hand slid under my back, holding me to him.
Keeping me.
Gabe was close, barely in control, and I was essentially a live wire, tiny orgasms already sparking their way up my spine.
I needed to see him. I needed to feel him.
I pulled his face up to mine and said, “Come for me.”
For a moment, there was no time. Only Gabe’s face in ecstasy.
He reached down to my clit and circled his fingers there, just once, so that I came with him, clenching around his cock, screaming and sighing with tears in my eyes.
And Gabe was still coming, his back muscles trembling and breath hot against my neck. And my name, a litany, tumbling sweetly from his lips.
I knew I had rules.
I knew I had reasons.
And I knew I’d be leaving Big Sur at any moment. Knew all of this and still.
Still I wrapped my arms around Gabe and clutched him to me, our lips crashing together for what felt like hours. Hands entwined, legs entwined, hearts fluttering together in the same hopeful rhythm.
Chapter 33
Josie
The rain was a soft pitter-patter against the windows in Gabe’s bedroom. I was wrapped up in blankets, sitting up against pillows, and Gabe was giving me a foot massage.
He also looked sexy as hell. Old gray sweatpants, barefoot. Bare chest, his long hair drying around his shoulders. Big thumbs working their way into the balls of my feet.
I shouldn’t want him again—not after he’d just fucked me into two orgasms so intense I had briefly lost my ability to form coherent thoughts.
Not after I watched his beautiful face in the throes of ecstasy.
But it was raining outside, and we were cozy and warm, and I was half-asleep from the orgasms and the foot massage and this deep-seated comfort… I didn’t have the strength to overly analyze. Instead, I just let it all wash over me.
“This happened the other night,” I said, nudging him with my foot. He’d been watching me with reverent eyes. “I’m supposed to care for you after sex. You’re the submissive.”
He shrugged, flashing an easy grin. “I guess I really like caring for you afterward. It feels… right to me. All of it feels right to me.”
“The fantasy?” I asked, curious.
“I’m not sure it’s a fantasy,” he said. “I mean, it’s a fantasy in the traditional sense of the word. But I might… I mean…” He looked away, grinning bashfully.
“Gabe,” I laughed. “You can tell me.”
“I know,” he said, picking up my left foot and starting to rub the insole. “I’m not sure I have the words yet. But the sex we have makes every other sexual experience I’ve ever had—and I’m not being hyperbolic—feel like nothing. Not just that the orgasms are more intense, which they are, but all of it. The… the headspace?” He looked at me. “Is that the right word?”
“I think you can use whatever word feels right.”
He nodded. “Headspace. Like I feel comfortable serving you.”
He blushed, just a little, and my heart did a weird little dance.
Knock it off, I told myself, firmly.
“It’s interesting, because it almost doesn’t feel like we’re playing roles to me. It feels totally natural. And I’ve had this fantasy for as long as I can remember, so maybe it’s less fantasy and more my true sexuality.” He flashed me that grin again. “Interesting, huh?”
I swallowed against a rising tide of emotions. “I’m happy that, well, I’m happy that you’ve learned something about yourself. And maybe the next woman—”
“Don’t,” he said.
“Gabe,” I started.
He shook his head.
I understood. The thought of him bringing home another woman, which he would, and… and doing the same things we had done. Handing her those ropes and begging her to tie him to the bed. I bit my lip at the sudden threat of tears.
“Either way,” I said, covering. “That makes me happy.”
“Do you feel that way, too?”
I was safe and warm. Gabe was safe and warm. “Yes. I’ve had similar revelations over the past couple days,” I admitted.
Gabe lifted my foot, placing a tiny kiss on the ankle. “Good.”
There was a knot in my throat desperate to be untangled. Words were clamoring to come out, and I wanted to let them. This could even be the last time we saw each other, and I didn’t want Gabe to remember me as some heartless harpy who swept into his life and swept out without a valid reason. And just as I opened my mouth to tell him about Clarke, about what happened, that chilling voice of his swept into my subconscious with words he had never said.
But I heard them anyway.
I would have shown up on our wedding day if you had been someone different. A different woman. A better woman. What will Gabe think of you when he finds out?
“I should go,” I said, voice shaking, as I removed my feet from Gabe’s lap. “It’s late, and we probably… well, we probably have a shoot tomorrow. If the road hasn’t been cleared.”
I started to pull on my clothes in the corner, a move I’d perfected over the past two years, while Gabe sat quietly on his bed. One hand rubbed down his jaw, and I knew he wanted to say something.
And I knew I had to get out of there before he did.
“Josie,” he said softly. I zipped up my jacket and pretended not to hear him. “Why can’t you let yourself have love that is passionate and soul-shaking? Why?”
I bent down, lacing up my combat boots. Turned my head an inch to see Gabe watching me with a devastated expression. And, oh God, now I was going to cry, and I really, really didn’t want to do that.
“Listen,” I said, standing. Backing up. “I know this… what we have,” I said, indicating the space between u
s, “was more intense than a normal one-night stand.”
“This wasn’t a one-night stand, and you know it,” Gabe said swiftly. “Tell me who hurt you. Tell me why you want to run.”
“I was never supposed to see you again,” I said, palms up and ignoring the second half of his plea. “It’s why I… well, why I did things differently than I normally do. Starting with sleeping with you a second time. Which I never do.”
“I understand,” Gabe said. “The rock slide messed with your plan. Things might have been more… temporary if you hadn’t gotten stuck here. But—”
“What?” I asked, hating the shake of my voice. Hadn’t I just brought this man to his knees? I searched desperately for that Josie but couldn’t find her.
Gabe reached forward, stroking his fingers against my palm.
“You love this,” he said. “Whatever this is. This connection. This intensity.”
Deep down, there was a small, delicate part of me that was starting to open—like a morning glory greeting the sun. Because with Clarke, our intensity had a sharp edge to it, a terrifying free-fall. I’d confused the adrenaline for love when it was really fear.
But this… was that it? Was it the same? Did Clarke ever make me feel so fucking cherished and interesting and captivating and treasured?
Had anyone?
Gabe’s fingers circled my wrist. “What if… what if it was different between us?”
A long pause, lonely as a road at midnight.
“I don’t know if that’s possible for me,” I said and meant it. “I really don’t.”
And then I stuffed my hands into my pockets, turned around, and left.
Chapter 34
Gabe
An hour after Josie left, as I drank coffee and watched the sun rise through the forest outside my window, I got the call.
The rock slide had finally been cleared. The entrance—and exit—to Big Sur was wide open.
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