But veterinarians knew death was part of life. Just like human physicians did. And when they went into practice, they knew there were going to be times when patients didn’t pull through or when euthanasia was the humane thing to do.
But knowing it didn’t always make it easier.
He was used to working with other animal experts. When an animal had died on the preserve or in one of the zoos, it had been hard, but he hadn’t felt it was his obligation to comfort his co-workers. They got it. They’d dealt with the same things he had.
Seeing the woman he was eighty percent sure he was falling in love with heartbroken, had made his heart ache in a whole new way.
“What was I supposed to say?” he asked Gertie, who was perched on his lap, lecturing him.
He handed her treats, and she quieted for a moment.
“Do you really think that going after her and telling her that if she was going to be involved with animals, she’d have to get used to this was really the right thing to do?” he asked the otter.
She did not think that was the right thing to do, but she kept insisting that he should have said or done something.
“If I thought just hugging her would’ve been enough, I would have done that.”
Gertie gave up on him, slipping off his lap and sliding into her man-made river.
He turned to Gus with a sigh. “So, I’m not great at the boyfriend thing. Big shock.”
Gus told him he was being dramatic.
“Easy for you to say,” Griffin said. “Human females are a lot more complicated than otter females, Gus.”
Gus told him to fuck off if he thought he had it so bad. Gus was living and raising kids with his girlfriend.
Griffin stroked the otter’s back. “Okay, so you might know a little bit about relationships. But I can’t tell her that we’ll never lose another animal. I can’t tell her that I can save them all.” God, he really couldn’t tell her that. “I can’t promise there’s never going to be heartbreaking moments. She’ll get used to it. It was harder on me in the beginning too.”
Gus informed him that that was not the right approach with Charlie.
“Well, I’m not going to tell her that she has to just get used to it, but it will get easier with time.”
It didn’t actually get easier. It just became less of a shock when things didn’t turn out as expected.
The otter in his lap chattered at him again, and Griffin shrugged. “Yeah, okay, I was wallowing a little bit about things not turning out in D.C., but I’ve been getting better.”
For a guy who claimed to know that life didn’t always go according to plan, Griffin had definitely let the situation at the National Zoo throw him for a loop.
He’d come to Louisiana with a plan to approach his life and work with animals completely differently than he had in the past. Rather than looking for ways to make it all work and pushing for bigger and better, he had been determined to simply be content with what he had and to take one day at a time.
It had taken the bubbly, pushy, addictive blond Landry to shake him up and make him wonder what the hell he was doing.
“But I never would’ve come up with the idea of having an animal park here,” Griffin told Gus. “It’s not like I was missing some obvious answer.”
Gus didn’t agree with that either, even after being given a treat. He sat in Griffin’s lap, chattering about what a dumbass Griffin had been.
Griffin shook his head. “Yes, I know the Landrys are hugely supportive and always willing to think outside the box. And yes, I feel a definite kinship with Tori and her willingness to take on any and all animals. But I wouldn’t have thought about having an elephant in Louisiana.”
Gus asked him why the hell not.
“Because having an elephant here is definitely over the top,” Griffin explained to the otter. “But,” he said over the otter’s protest. “Lemurs, and a sloth, and an ostrich, and… Maybe some other stuff could work.”
Remembering Charlie’s face after he told her the dog had died made his entire chest hurt, but he also thought about how she’d lit up when she noticed the sloth in the trailer. And, he knew it wasn’t because she was particularly fond of sloths. In fact, he doubted very much that she’d spent much time in her life thinking about sloths.
He’d put that look on her face. Because he’d surprised her and done something that clearly said he was listening to her and wanted to make her happy. The only other look that was even more poignant had been the look on her face when he’d first seen the lemurs. It had been clear that it meant a lot to her to give him those.
Charlie cared about him. It was obvious, and it made his heart swell and ache at the same time.
He’d had relationships in the past. He’d been serious with a couple of women. He’d known women who cared about him and possibly even loved him. But the idea that Charlie Landry would want to give him an elephant and had succeeded in giving him lemurs did more to him than any other woman had ever done.
Charlie was special. She knew almost nothing about animals, particularly exotic ones. She had come to tiny Autre from Paris, France. And yet she looked around the little town and the dinky petting zoo that hadn’t even had proper signage and saw nothing but possibility.
And that was how she looked at him. She saw possibilities for him. In him. She wasn’t going to let him hide out in Louisiana or wallow in the things that had gone wrong in the past. She was going to push him to do more, and be better, and go after his dreams.
“Okay,” Griffin told Gus. “I’m probably more like ninety percent in love with her.”
The otter told him it was about time he realized that.
“So, what do I do about it?”
Gus turned and scampered off Griffin’s lap, slipping into the river with Gertie.
Griffin sighed.
It was possible that he needed to start getting relationship advice from creatures with two legs instead of four.
* * *
Charlie was depressed.
That was something that so rarely happened, she didn’t really have good coping mechanisms for it.
She got upset. Angry. Frustrated. Sad. But depressed was very unusual.
Of course, it was also unusual for her to see a dog die.
That had really sucked. She wasn’t a Pollyanna. She knew the animals died. She’d just never seen it happen herself.
And she never wanted to see it happen again.
But worse, she never wanted to see Griffin giving his all to save an animal, only to have it not work.
He’d clearly been devastated.
Again, she was an adult, and she knew what veterinarians did. She didn’t think that this was the first time it happened to Griffin, nor would it be the last. Still, seeing the man she cared so much about and who she was trying so hard to help heal knocked down like that had been really hard.
Now, she sat in her own personal therapy session—i.e., at Ellie’s bar with a plate of homemade beignets in front of her and her crazy, loving family surrounding her.
And she was still depressed.
The beignets were delicious, the chicory coffee was strong, and her family was, well, her family.
All of that was perfect.
But Griffin wasn’t here, and she didn’t know where he was, and she had no idea what to say to him even if she found him.
Still… she wanted to find him.
She wanted to hug him. She wanted to tell him that he was amazing even if he hadn’t been able to save the dog. She wanted to tell him that no matter what happened, she would always consider him a hero.
She wanted to tell him that watching him work on the dog had actually been sexy.
But that was very inappropriate, she realized.
She was sad the dog had died. She was sad thinking about how they needed to find the family. She hurt for Griffin.
But watching him today had been sexy. She wasn’t going to admit that to anyone else because it sounded very strange, but thi
s was the first time she’d seen him truly worked up. He’d been intensely focused, working quickly, barking orders, and clearly pouring his all into saving the dog.
There had been blood, and a sense of desperation, and definite sadness. But seeing Griffin determined and confident, yet still clearly working with emotion, had been, yes, sexy, dammit. She didn’t care how that sounded. Well, she cared enough not to say it out loud, but she wouldn’t apologize for being attracted to Griffin in those moments.
“You need a shot of something in that coffee?”
Charlie looked up at Ellie. She smiled. “Promise it will help?”
Ellie shook her head. “Nope.”
Charlie sighed. “No magic potion, huh?”
Ellie put her hand on Charlie’s head, an affectionate gesture she used with all of her grandchildren. “Some hurts just have to hurt.”
Well, that wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “You know what happened?”
“Sure. Pete Cochran and Billy Melancon were the ones who found the dog. They came in here for lunch.”
“Griffin tried so hard,” Charlie said. She looked down at her coffee cup. “I didn’t know what to say to him.”
“You couldn’t just say you were sorry it went sideways?” Ellie asked. “Or say that you knew he did his best?”
Charlie lifted a shoulder. “That wouldn’t have changed anything.”
Ellie stroked her hand over Charlie’s hair. It was such a familiar, comforting gesture, Charlie felt her throat tighten. “You don’t have to change things all the time, Charlie.”
Her grandmother’s words hit her and made her heart skip. “But…” She really felt like she did. “Isn’t that what we should try to do? Change things? Make them better?”
“Well, maybe you’re not looking at changing the right things,” Ellie told her.
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t change the fact that dogs die. But you being there to give Griffin a big hug when it happens can change how it feels for him afterward.”
Charlie studied her grandmother’s face. “I like changing things.”
“I know. Even more, you like being the savior,” Ellie said with an affectionate smile. “You like making your mark. But maybe you need to start realizing that you make your mark in lots of ways. Maybe you didn’t send Isabelle’s attacker to jail, but you made her feel supported. Maybe Boys of the Bayou isn’t going to be worth ten million dollars, but they’re all excited, and everyone is pitching in on the new projects and having fun. And you can’t keep Griffin from never facing tough times, but you can definitely be there for him when those times come.”
Charlie let all of that sink in. Yes, she did love being the one who swooped in with her big ideas and plans, took everything to the next level, and then stepped back and saw that everyone was happier and more successful when she was done.
Yes, she’d envisioned doing that here.
But maybe Ellie was right. Maybe she was making people happier and more successful in smaller, quieter ways.
And maybe she couldn’t make everything better, but she could do her best with the things in her control.
Who was she kidding? Of course, Ellie was right.
“Thanks,” she told her grandmother. “That helps.”
And now she needed to hug Griffin. Of course, first, she needed to find Griffin. He wasn’t answering his phone, wasn’t at his house, and wasn’t down at the petting zoo barn. She’d left the clinic after the dog passed away but had gone back to see if Griffin needed her after she’d cried for about ten minutes. She’d just been overwhelmed, but she realized running out was the wrong reaction.
Griffin had been gone when she got back though. And she hadn’t seen him since. She’d been hoping he’d come to Ellie’s, possibly needing the camaraderie of the group the way she did, but she hadn’t seen him yet.
Ellie grinned at her and leaned over to kiss the top of her head before stepping away. “Good to know I’m still better than a shot of whiskey.”
“An ostrich? Really?” Tori asked Fiona.
The question pulled Charlie’s attention back to the conversation around the table.
“Yes,” Fiona said. “And I won’t tell you that this ostrich is possibly the dumbest bird I’ve ever met.”
Tori chuckled. “Ostriches aren’t really known for being all that smart.”
“But you love them anyway,” Josh said. He had his arm over the back of Tori’s chair and was playing with a strand of her hair. He tugged on it playfully. “Or you probably love them because the poor things are dumb.”
Zeke laughed. “Ah, she loves dumb things. That finally explains why she’s with you.”
Josh flipped him off.
Mitch and Paige were also there at the far end of the table, and Maddie, Owen, Sawyer, and Juliet were also present. Zeke, Zander, and Fletcher were lounging at the next table.
The seating arrangement made Charlie smile. The big tables at the back of Ellie’s had always been where the family gathered. It was a big enough space for them all but also kept them out of the way of paying customers. They helped themselves to the kitchen and behind the bar for their food and drink.
It seemed that the single guys hung out at the smaller table to the side while the couples gathered at the bigger, longer table. It was very similar to having a kid’s table at Thanksgiving, and Charlie found that amusing.
Of course, Charlie joined her three bachelor cousins rather than sitting at the couples’ table.
Fiona was at this table too, and Charlie was certain Zeke and Zander had been flirting with the bubbly, brunette animal expert before she arrived.
Charlie looked across the table at Fletcher. He was sitting back with one ankle crossed over his opposite knee. He was watching the group, smiling but seemingly not as engaged.
Fletcher wasn’t the outright flirt that Zeke and Zander were, so he probably hadn’t been hitting on Fiona. Now that Charlie thought about it, she really never saw Fletcher flirt. He was very good-looking and very friendly and had plenty of women’s attention. The mothers of the kids in his class—and kids in several other classes—found him charming, and he got lots of cookies and brownies and gushy, “Oh, Mr. Landry, you’re such a good teacher.” Maybe that was enough for him.
Or maybe he was trying to be a good role model. As a male third-grade teacher, he was in the gender minority in his profession, and she was sure he got plenty of attention for that too. It was very possible that he felt increased pressure, as a single guy teaching young kids, to be an especially upstanding citizen. Flirting with the moms probably wasn’t the best example for the kids. Or the best way to endear himself to his bosses. Or the dads.
Especially the dads who had grown up with him and knew his past.
Especially the dads who had been right beside him as he’d partied and drag raced and fought and swiped his grandpa’s homemade moonshine and played strip poker—and strip anything else they could think of.
He was a great guy. But he was a Landry, and he came from the wilder branch of the family tree for sure.
“You okay?” Charlie asked him softly.
He looked at her and gave her a wink. “Better than okay.”
She didn’t quite believe him, but he either didn’t want to talk about it or figured this was the last place he should.
“So, we’re really going to get in a bunch more animals?” Zeke asked.
Charlie realized he directed the question to her. She glanced at Tori, but Tori was watching her as well.
Charlie looked at Sawyer, then Maddie. They, too, were watching her as if waiting for her answer. So the other veterinarian in town and two of the major partners in Boys of the Bayou weren’t making this decision?
But yeah, Charlie had kind of plowed ahead with many of the plans, and over the past few weeks, had mostly just informed everyone after the wheels were already turning.
Still, talking to Mitch about building a snack shack and getting in touch with a few f
ood vendors, and adding to their t-shirt and stuffed animal inventory were relatively minor.
At least compared to bringing in sloths and lemurs.
And especially compared to bringing in anything more.
“If you all are interested,” Charlie started, using her marketing presentation voice. “I think there is a lot of potential for growth, and I think it could result in not only increased revenue but also increased business for other parts of the family—the swamp boats and here at Ellie’s—as well as increased awareness of animal care and the ecosystem and conservation efforts and…”
Suddenly, she ran out of steam.
Just like that.
That never happened. She always knew what she was going to say and how to say it, and she was always prepared.
But now, sitting here with her family and wanting more for them, but also for herself and, of course, for Griffin, she found that she couldn’t spin it.
They were all watching her expectantly. A couple of them seemed surprised because none of them had ever known her to run out of words.
She sighed. “I really want to do more here. I want to turn this into a bigger animal park. I want to bring in all kinds of animals. I want this to be a place people want to come and interact with animals and learn to love them and… make memories. Smile and laugh and have a good time.” She took a breath and blew it out. “But I’m not really sure I know what I’m doing. And it’s probably crazy, and I don’t know if we have the resources to do it. But yeah, I want to make Griffin an animal park. Somehow. If I can.”
There was a long beat of silence.
Charlie realized what she’d said immediately. She wanted to do this for Griffin. And she’d just confessed that out loud. To her entire family.
Tori was the first one to speak. “We’re in.”
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