‘Me too.’ His eyes left her and returned to Kitty. ‘Seems daft you coming all the way to ours only to come all the way back when I’m on hand to see she don’t get lost in the snow,’ he said jovially.
Kitty looked at him uncertainly. Put like that it did sound daft but she always saw Amy home. ‘Amy?’
Amy drew in a deep silent breath. If she said she wanted Aunt Kitty to accompany her on the journey, Perce would know she was frightened of him. ‘It’s coming down thicker than ever,’ she said, marvelling that her voice sounded so normal. ‘You don’t want to have to walk back if they stop the trams, Aunt Kitty.’
‘No, I suppose not.’ Kitty sounded relieved. She turned to Perce. ‘It is a night and a half,’ she said gratefully, ‘and if you’re going straight home ...’
‘Wouldn’t be going anywhere else in this weather.’
‘All right then.’ Kitty turned to Amy. ‘I’ll see you next week then, lass. Here, have the tram fare.’
‘No need.’ Perce reached out and placed a large meaty hand on Kitty’s arm as she began to open her bag. ‘I’ve got it. Look, here’s the tram now. Bye, Kitty.’
‘Bye. Bye, lass.’ Kitty suddenly sounded unsure but as they stepped onto the tram she didn’t follow them, merely waving somewhat forlornly as the tram creaked away.
Amy felt very small and insignificant as she sat down on one of the wooden seats. Perce sat down beside her, his big brawny torso dwarfing her. ‘Had a nice time?’ he asked.
‘Yes, lovely.’
‘Called in to see Gran as normal, I suppose?’
She was aware of his eyes burning into the side of her face but she kept her gaze trained straight ahead as she nodded. ‘She looks forward to it. It can’t be much fun being stuck in that bed all the time.’
‘Suppose not.’ He didn’t sound interested.
Despite the butterflies in her stomach it riled her enough to look at him. ‘It wouldn’t hurt the rest of you to call in more often.’
His eyes narrowed and then opened again. ‘I will if that’s what you want,’ he said softly. ‘I’ll go for you.’
She’d known it, hadn’t she known he’d planned this? ‘It’s not what I want,’ she said sharply. ‘You should want to go, she’s your grandma.’
He didn’t reply to this. What he did say was, and in a tone that made her embarrassed, ‘I’ll go and see her every day if you want me to. I’ll do anything for you, Amy. You must know that.’
‘Don’t be silly.’ She knew her face was burning but she couldn’t do anything about the hot colour; she had never felt so uncomfortable. She glanced nervously around, hoping no one could hear them.
‘I’m not being silly and don’t pretend you don’t know how I feel about you. I’ve watched you, you know all right. Look,’ his tone, which had turned slightly angry, returned to its former soft persuasive whisper, ‘I want you to be my lass one day, that’s all I’m saying. You’ll be leaving school soon and lots of lasses take up with a lad then.’
She stared at him. ‘I’m only fourteen, I can’t have a lad.’
‘I don’t mind waiting a bit. Not for you.’
She wouldn’t have him as her lad even if she had to spend the rest of her life as an old maid. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but Perce had always reminded her strongly of her Granda Shawe. ‘We live in the same house,’ she prevaricated quickly. ‘It wouldn’t be right. You’re like my brother.’
‘Like your brother, am I?’ He emitted a hard laugh that was more like a bark.‘And Bruce, is he like your brother too?’
‘Bruce?’
‘Don’t come the innocent, I’ve seen you two billing and cooing.’
Amy reared up in her seat, her voice louder than she intended as she said, ‘We have not!’
‘Anyone would have thought he’d given you a box of gold nuggets rather than a box of cheap chocolates.’Then his voice changed again. ‘Look, I don’t want to argue with you, Amy, and I bought you something for your birthday but I wanted to give it to you when we were by ourselves.’
He had been reaching into his jacket pocket as he spoke and when he drew out a small package she stared at it, making no move to take it.
‘Go on.’ He shoved it into her lap. ‘I told you, it’s for you.’
Her hands shaking slightly, Amy undid the string holding the brown paper together. It unfolded to display an item of clothing, a silk and lace petticoat with ribboned shoulder straps. She knew instinctively this was not the sort of gift a lad should give a girl. She looked at it in the same manner in which a rabbit would view the snake about to bite it, her hands falling limply by her side and the petticoat lying across her lap.
‘Don’t you like it?’
‘I can’t take this. You know I can’t take it.’
‘I know nothing of the sort.’
‘It’s not . . . proper.’
‘Not proper?’ He laughed but again it wasn’t a real laugh. ‘For crying out loud, girl, it’s nineteen thirty-one not eighteen thirty-one.’
‘I can’t. I don’t want it.’ With her hand she tipped the paper and petticoat onto his lap and he had to make a quick movement to prevent the lot sliding onto the mucky floor of the tram.
For a moment there was silence and then he said quietly, ‘If you think I’ll let Bruce or any other lad have you, you’re wrong, Amy. You’re mine. Get that through your head because it’ll save a lot of trouble in the long run. I’ll give you time to get used to the idea, I’m in no rush, but you so much as look at another lad and you’ll live to regret it.’
She couldn’t believe he was saying these things. ‘I told you, I’m too young to have a lad.’ She raised defiant eyes to his.‘But even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t go with you, Perce Shawe. And you can’t tell me what to do, so think on. I’ll tell Aunt May what you’ve said.’
Perce was staring into her flushed face. As she held his gaze she didn’t know what to expect next, but it wasn’t the sudden relaxing of his countenance. ‘That’s one of the things I like about you,’ he said very softly. ‘You’ve got more spirit than plenty of lads I know. Firebrand, aren’t you, under that cool butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth front.You’ll suit me. Oh aye, you’ll suit me very well.’
She turned from the hot light in his eyes, pretending to take an interest in the view outside the tram window. After a moment or two she heard the rustle of paper and then Perce moved slightly as he stuffed the petticoat back into his jacket pocket. Even the brief contact of his body against hers made her feel sick. It was in that second Amy admitted to herself she was terrified of the walk home once they had left the relative safety of the tram.
Contrary to what she’d expected, Perce made no effort to take her arm or touch her once they had alighted into the snow-filled night. It could be because they were still in the main thoroughfare, though. What would happen when they had to turn off into the back lane which led to their house? Could she insist they entered by the front door? But none of the family ever used it, everyone would think it strange. Her heart pounding, Amy told herself she didn’t care what Uncle Ronald or Aunt May or her cousins thought. She’d tell them why she hadn’t wanted to walk down the back lane with Perce, she’d tell them what he had said.
As though he had read her mind, Perce said quietly, ‘You try telling that lot indoors about tonight and I’ll deny it, you know that, don’t you? And guess who they’ll believe? Blood’s thicker than water, they’ll say. She’s like her mam but she’s started even earlier.’
‘Don’t you dare talk that way about my mam.’
They had reached the entrance to the back lane. Her heart pounding, Amy stopped in her tracks but to her mingled fright and surprise she found herself held in a grip she was powerless to fight against and manhandled the first few feet down the cut. As she struggled, Perce muttered, ‘Give over, I’m not going to hurt you. I told you, I want you to be my lass, all above board and done right. And for the record I don’t care about what your mam did.’
Jerking herself free, Amy nearly went headlong but for his hand coming out to save her, but again she shook it off. For the first time she was truly aware of the power in the male body in front of her; she’d felt like a rag doll in his grasp. The frozen snow beneath her feet with its deceptive covering of fresh flakes was lethal and she was finding it difficult to stay on her feet but she was too panic-stricken to pick her way. How she got to their backyard without breaking her neck she didn’t know, especially with the dark night and whirling snow pressing down on her, but as her gloved fingers fumbled with the latch to the gate, Perce’s hand came down on hers.
‘Remember what I said,’ he said quietly, bending down so his mouth was close to her face. ‘I’ll behave meself for the present and be patient but don’t you think you can mess me about.’
She remained quite still but the moment his hand lifted she was through the gate and into the backyard. Then she was opening the back door and stepping into the relative warmth of the small scullery. Instead of taking off her outdoor clothes and making sure her boots were clean as every member of the family had been drilled to do by May, she almost pushed open the kitchen door. It was the sound of her grandfather’s voice that checked her. Of course, it was a Saturday night. The panic of the last few minutes had taken it out of her head. Her granda always came back with Ronald and the lads and Mr O’Leary for a bite after football on a Saturday afternoon.
Perce was in the scullery now too, and with feverish haste Amy pulled off her gloves and stuffed them in the pockets of her coat before divesting herself of her coat, hat and scarf and hanging them on a peg. Perce was busy scraping the snow off his boots on the cord mat just inside the back door but she was aware he was looking at her all the time he did so.
Amy glanced at him in spite of herself.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said immediately. ‘I didn’t want to frighten you, just to make you understand. I can’t stand you looking at other lads, that’s the way I feel. It . . . it does something to me.’
His voice was low but the look in his eyes brought panic bubbling again. ‘You’re like a brother,’ she said again, willing him to understand. ‘It would be wrong.’
‘We’re cousins, just cousins, and it wouldn’t be wrong. Even if it was, I wouldn’t care, the way I feel about you, but it wouldn’t anyway. And I’ve said I’ll wait till you’re ready. I can’t say fairer than that. Don’t . . . don’t be mad at me.’
This was worse than him manhandling her. She looked away from the puppy-dog pleading in his eyes and swallowed hard. But she couldn’t pretend. ‘I couldn’t like you in that way so it’s no use you waiting,’ she said, and opened the door of the kitchen before he could stop her.
Mr O’Leary, her granda, Aunt May, Uncle Ronald and Bruce were still sitting at the remains of the evening meal, the younger children having gone through to the sitting room, judging from the sounds emanating from that direction. Her uncle smiled at her but it was only Bruce who said hello. She saw his eyes narrow as Perce followed her into the kitchen and he said, ‘I thought you weren’t going to be home till late? Business with Stan, wasn’t it?’
‘Turned out it wasn’t worth missing the second half for.’ Perce pushed past Amy, clapping both his grandfathers on their backs as he said, ‘All right then?’ before adding casually to his mother, ‘Kitty and Amy were at the tram stop and Kitty asked if I’d bring Amy home to save her the journey in this weather.’
‘Frank Kirby says the law was nosing about asking questions about Stan recently.’ Bruce hadn’t taken his eyes off his brother.
‘Frank Kirby’s nowt but a gossipy old woman.’
‘And Stan’s a villain and you know it.’
Wilbur cut across what was fast becoming an argument between his grandsons, his cold eyes on Amy. ‘Some folk take advantage of any kindness they’re shown. Fine state of affairs when your aunt has to struggle to dish up by herself ’cos you’re off gallivanting. Don’t you think so, Terence?’
‘Aye, I do an’ all, Wilbur.’
Normally Amy would have let the remark go unchallenged. She was used to both men’s censure. But tonight with her nerves as taut as piano wire, the unfair criticism caught her on the raw. She stared into the two men’s faces, one handsome and the other anything but, but both alike in their dislike of her. ‘Eva and Harriet were here, weren’t they?’ she said sharply. ‘As far as I know they haven’t lost the use of their hands.’
There was a moment of stunned silence followed by several condemning voices.
‘Why, you cheeky little madam!’ This was from her aunt.
‘How dare you!’ A boom from Mr O’Leary.
‘This is what comes of letting her fraternise with that rabble next door to me.’ Wilbur had actually risen from his seat, his face thunderous. Ronald and Bruce stood too, the former uncertainly as though he wasn’t sure what to do next but Bruce moved swiftly to stand in front of Amy, shielding her from their grandfather. Bruce wasn’t as heavily built as Perce, his height had a leanness to it, but Amy was glad of her cousin’s protection when Wilbur said, ‘She needs the belt, Ronald, same as her mother. It’s the only thing some females understand. If you can’t bring yourself to do it, I can.’
Even May looked askance at this. ‘I don’t think so, Da,’ she said, ‘but she’ll be punished, rest assured of that. Getting a mite too big for our boots, aren’t we, madam?’ she added directly to Amy. ‘I think someone needs taking down a peg or two.’
‘I think it might be a good idea for you to have a word with that Kitty, Wilbur, and tell her Amy won’t be going out on a Saturday for a month or two, not till she can control her tongue.’ Terence O’Leary didn’t take his eyes off Amy as he spoke.
Amy stared at May’s father. Not seeing Kitty would mean not seeing her grandma and she couldn’t bear that, and she knew her grandma looked forward to the time they spent together all week. She was always saying so. ‘That’s not fair,’ she burst out.
‘You to talk of fairness, you ungrateful mongrel.’ Wilbur was fairly spitting out the words. ‘Your aunt and uncle have provided a roof over your head for the last umpteen years and this is all the thanks they get. I knew it’d end up like this. You’re your mother all over, m’girl. That’s the trouble.’
Terence O’Leary nodded slowly. ‘You’re right, Wilbur.’
‘I’m glad he’s right.’ Amy’s voice was very loud but shaky. ‘I want to be like my mam, so there.’
‘Glad, are you?’Wilbur snorted contemptuously. ‘Well, there you have it, straight out of the horse’s mouth, Terence.’
‘Hang on a minute, you two.’ Ronald had gone white; they were all shaken by the scene which had erupted with such suddenness, all except the two older men. ‘She’s only a bairn, it’s natural she’d stick up for her mam. And our Bess shouldn’t have done what she did, none of us would say different, but the fella was more to blame than her in my book. Taking down a bit lass when he had a wife and family tucked away was a dirty trick. It’d have been bad enough if the girl was a rum ’un, but our Bess - pure, untouched.’
‘You’re sure about that, are you? That she was pure?’
‘Da.’
‘Oh, all right, all right.’ Wilbur flapped his hand. It was clear he and Terence had been surprised by Ronald’s championing of first Amy and then Bess. Surprised and somewhat annoyed. ‘I don’t want to fall out with you, Ronald, but I just hope you and May don’t live to regret taking her in, that’s all. You’ve heard the old adage about biting the hand that feeds you.’
‘Da.’ The admonition was weary now.
‘Aye, well, I’ve had my say.’ Wilbur glanced at May. ‘I’ll have me coat and cap, lass, if it’s not too much trouble.’
‘Me an’ all,’ said Terence with a sour look at Ronald.
‘You’re not both going?’ May protested. ‘Not yet.’
Their sullen nods sent May to fetch the jackets and caps from their pegs in the scullery after a scathing glance at Amy.
May saw them out and after a few mumbled words in the hall the front door opened and closed and then she was back in the kitchen. ‘I hope you’re satisfied with all the trouble you’ve caused,’ she snapped at Amy. ‘Upsetting everyone like this.’
‘Hey, steady on, Mam.’ Bruce’s voice was mild. ‘It wasn’t really Amy’s fault.They’re always going for her for no reason.’ Usually he kept out of any altercations but today Bruce found he was feeling sorry for his cousin. Amy had looked so unhappy when she’d walked in, so fed up, and it was true what he’d said about his grandas. Eva and Harriet could get away with murder but Amy only had to breathe for the two men to be down on her like a ton of bricks. He wondered why it had never really registered on him before what a rough deal she had all round. He looked his mother full in the face as he added, ‘And you know how she likes to see Gran Shawe and Gran likes to see Amy.’
The Rainbow Years Page 8